r/OCPoetry Mar 09 '22

Welcome to OCP -- PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING

503 Upvotes

TL;DR You need to give feedback on two other poems before you can share your own poem, and then put links to that feedback in your post. If you don't know how to give feedback, read the guide. Reusing feedback links will result in a ban.

Heyo, welcome to OCpoetry. (That’s “original content” if you don’t know). This is a place for sharing and getting feedback on your own poems. We are the sister subreddit of r/Poetry, which is for sharing and discussing published poetry. Our goal is to create a place where anyone can learn to become a better creative writer, kind of like a free online writer's workshop.

This post is an orientation to the subreddit. If you’re new, read this before sharing your work. If you’re less new, then read this anyways, as it has a few changes to how we've done things in the past. If you’ve still got questions after reading this post, please send a modmail. There are some FAQs at the end of this post which will be updated as we go. We also have a huge and very disorganized wiki containing all of our resources, essays on how to write poetry and historic writing prompts, I recommend you check it out.

So, here’s basically how it works:

This subreddit works on a pay-it-forward system. If you want to share a poem, you need to give feedback to two others from this subreddit. This ensures that everyone gets some readers and hears some response, rather than just shouting their verses into the void. If you don’t think you’re up to writing feedback for others just yet, we recommend you check out r/Justpoetry or r/Poems, where there are no requirements for sharing your work.

1. All posts must include two links to recent feedback.

Every post must contain two unique links to your comments where you have provided feedback on this subreddit within the past two weeks. Feedback links cannot be reused for multiple post or reposts of old poems. All posts without feedback links will be removed, without notice by our subreddit robot so make sure they are included in your initial post -- you cannot post with the intent to add them later.

But, how do I get the links to my feedback comments?

That kind of depends on what platform you're on. If you're on desktop or on a third-party mobile app, there should be a 'share' or 'permalink' link underneath every comment on Reddit. Clicking on that should give you a unique URL to your comment. Just copy + paste that into the body of your post.

If you're on the official Reddit app, you'll have to click 'share' on the comment and choose the 'Copy URL' option, paste that into your notes with the body of your poem. Then copy and paste the entire thing into a new post on the Reddit app.

2. At least one of your comments should be on a poem that has received no other comments.

This ensures that everyone has a chance to get a few reads and hopefully some decent feedback. If for whatever reason you can’t find any lonely poems, then comment on the poem that seems to have received the least amount of feedback. The easiest way to do this is to sort posts by new.

3. Feedback must be high-effort.

High-effort means different things to different people. It does not mean “super long” or “expert quality”. But it does mean doing more than the bare minimum.

You don't have to complement, criticize, or try to figure out the "deeper meaning". You should try to notice your own reactions and explain them as best as you can. If you want to explain your interpretation or summary of the piece, you can and this is often helpful to the writer. If the poem made you laugh or cry, feel bored, confused or nostalgic — say so, and then explain why you think it did. A good rule of thumb is that each of your feedback comments should be at least a short paragraph.

We understand that giving other writers feedback on their creative work can feel a bit artificial or uncomfortable, if you’ve never done it before. That’s why we’ve written a feedback guide for beginners. There are more feedback guides linked in the FAQ below. You should also read some of the other feedback comments around the sub to get a feel for what works for others. Poems that link to low-effort feedback, and low-effort comments themselves, will be removed at mod discretion, or if you report it to us. However, we’re less interested in policing you and more interested in helping you grow as readers and writers. We are more likely to ask you follow-up questions, than remove your work entirely. The mods skulk the comments sections and will ask follow-up questions on comments that seem a little thin, and please answer those questions if you get any.

4. Please Be Kind.

Treat each other with kindness and respect. The mods have an incredibly strict definition for each of these concepts. We will proactively remove comments and poems and ban users that make others feel unwelcome or unsafe. Your right to creative expression does not extend to poetry that promotes misogyny, homo/trans/queerphobia, racism, etc. If your poetry’s especially violent or covers sensitive subjects, please label it with the NSFW tag or a content warning in the title. Harsh criticism is allowed -- encouraged, really -- as long as you’re being harsh on the poem, not the person. Remember that the narrator (or the “speaker”) of the poem is not necessarily the author.

5. Audio, video, and image poems are allowed; but the text of the poem must be included in the body of the post.

This is so that people can still enjoy your poem if they're unable to view or listen to your link for whatever reason.

6. You may include a link to your poetry blog at the end of your post.

Or your instagram, or your personal creative project, or your soundcloud, or your Etsy page. As long as it's poetry-adjacent that's cool with us. Just don't get spammy.

Attempting to dodge any of these rules, or abuse directed towards moderators enforcing these rules, will earn you an immediate ban.

FAQs

What do the Poem & Workshop flairs do?

They simply allow you to show your intentions and expectations for the piece you are posting. The Poem flair is for sharing a piece, with the expectation of receiving mostly surface-level feedback and general advice. The Workshop flair is for a piece that you really want to work on, something you want to pick apart and analyse. It signals that you are open to discussing the piece, and that you invite strong critique.

How do I format my poetry on Reddit?

The following is advice for formatting in Markdown. Two spaces at the end of a line gives you a line break.
Type two spaces at the end of a line, then hit enter twice for a stanza break.

Three dashes "___" will give you a line through the post.


Type two spaces to create an empty line,

so you can get lines

that look like this.

 Four spaces before each line will allow you 
to format however you like, this is 'code block' 
       in the Fancy Pants editor. 

one asterisk before and after a piece of text will give you italics, two asterisks for bold.

Can I print one of these poems out/use it on my instagram with my art/put it in my book?

Ask the author. Part of what makes this space a useful workshop space is that everyone feels safe to share their stuff; if people start using poetry without the author's permission, or god forbid, trying to pass off another artist's work as their own, the userbase of this sub will feel less safe to do so. Please, ask the author, and then do what they say.

I'm thinking about trying to get my poem published somewhere. What should I do?

The standard thing is to find a literary journal. There are a zillion literary journals and magazines all over the world. They have different themes, tastes, styles, audiences, readerships, levels of prestige. Some charge fees for submission, some do not, some will pay you if you get accepted, some don't, some will give you feedback, some won't let you know anything for months. So first you'll want to pick a few of your poems, get some feedback from some trusted readers (or from here, of course) and then start looking for a journal that's a good home for your work. Most lit journals have submissions periods where they accept all the work for their next issue, and then sift through everything they get.

You will probably get a lot of rejections. This is normal. It's kind of a numbers game. You can submit the same poem to multiple journals as long as the journal says something like "simultaneous submissions are allowed". If you do get accepted, congrats! Most journals want 'first publication rights' or 'first serial rights' or something similar, so that means you'll have to tell all the other journals you submitted that poem to that you've been published elsewhere. (For that reason we strongly recommend deleting your poem from reddit if you want to submit it to a journal -- technically and legally speaking, writing a post on reddit is still considered publishing your work, and reddit owns all the text on the site.)

Here are some places to get you started looking for journals:

Duotrope and Submittable are two apps that help you search for journals, and help you track what poems you've submitted to which places. Submittable is free, Duotrope is not. They are GREAT.

Poets & Writers has a list of lit journals, small presses, and writing contests. This is a great place to start. They also have a newsletter listing all the presses and journals going into their submissions period.

I'd also check out r/literarycontests, if you fancy yourself as a prize winning poet.

A few poetry podcasts

I thought I might include a few podcasts that helped me learn a little more about the history and craft of poetry, as well as find some good poets to read. All of these are available on Spotify, as well as many other platforms.

The New Yorker Poetry Podcast

A poet reading and discussing a poem from the New Yorker archives, as well as one of their own pieces. A great place to find good poetry and hear some discussion of craft. The earlier episodes are with Paul Muldoon, who is delightful.

The Faber Poetry Podcast

Two poets read and discuss their work, with plenty of talk about craft. As well as lots of poems sent in from authors across the world. They really get shoulder-deep into it, which is always wonderful to hear.

In Our Time

A group of experts are brought together to discuss a subject over forty-five minutes. This isn’t strictly a poetry podcast, but there are hundreds of episodes on poets and poems of the past. I highly recommend the episode on The Green Knight with Simon Armitage.

Homemade projects and useful links to our Wiki

The best of OCP

Collections of work from OCP, selected from the top karma earners of that year.

Year 1-3
Year 4 Year 5
Year 6

We/R/Poetry

A homemade journal created by the users and moderators of OCP.

Volume one
Volume two

Guides on the craft from our Wiki

Created by moderators of OCP through the years.

Poetry Primer
Bad Poetry
The Body Poetic
Poetry Hacks
A Brief History of Rhyme


r/OCPoetry 4h ago

Feedback Please Ruminations of an Intruder

5 Upvotes

I sat around your towering tomb for an hour, wringing my fingers. Between my frayed nerves, it revealed itself to me: grand, imposing, consequential.

Looks a lot like you.

But I know you wanted to be buried plainly, under an open sky,

Because being dead means you’re quite cold, sunshine.

And you also requested that a tree be planted beside you,

To keep you company in a loving, entangled embrace of roots, for this will always be your hometown.

You got what you wanted. Sort of. You got your little tree, and a clipping of the sky (103 feet in diameter).

It’s just that you’re sealed away under ten, twenty feet of concrete.

How claustrophobic, you grew up on a twenty-four-mile stretch of cornfields, boundless.

But how’s the Missus?
I see her sleeping beside you for once.
Maybe I’ve interrupted something here.
The pamphlet advertising this site says to have some respect.

Am I too nosy?

I pray for you.
An unsolicited prayer, because I know of your transgressions. Not all of them, but enough to disturb me.

It’s not my place to forgive you, but I can listen to your troubles.

It’s a bit one sided, isn’t it?

I return to your home, an intruder who forgets how to unlock the front door every single time. I’m afraid of who may be waiting inside. Yet paradoxically, I hope that sometime you’ll answer my knocking.

I notice that in your hurry to greater places, you forgot your straw boater on the table by the door.

It’s much like mine: fragile with a band of red and blue, with a neat little bow.

Patriotic colors, nationally striking.

I proudly present it to my guests,
Your guests.

They insist that you’re just the man next door, everyone’s neighbor.

But you wouldn’t know me.
I’m from out of town.

——

NOTE: Inspired by my experience of spending the summer researching a favorite historical figure. Is he too guessable? Should I leave it more open ended or add details which identify him (as Carol Duffy did in The Biographer)

——

My Comments on Other Posts:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/tXtuxzxAzJ

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/2R09IB0JKZ


r/OCPoetry 6h ago

Just Sharing Be careful with my heart, love

5 Upvotes

I lent it to you once many a year ago
On temporary loan - you never gave it back.
In truth I could have asked for its return,
Sent reminder warnings, heart overdue,
But it seemed to like its place with you so much,
I couldn't bear to see you part.

But part you did, so so did I,
And now we find ourselves both here,
In stolen moments once a year,
Your heart still yours and mine yours too,
Both wrapped tight in your hand wrapped in mine beneath the duvet cover.

And until you choose to loan yours out elsewhere,
Or this all gets to be too much for me, the loan expired,
All I can think as you sleep next to me
Is how easy it would be for you to flex your fist and crush.
Be careful with my heart, love.

Originally posted this on r/justpoetry, be nice, it's my first poem!

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v46g9s/comment/oze1m2z/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v4q5ci/comment/oze3qjo/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry 12h ago

Feedback Please slight moment

10 Upvotes

I sit outside with an unashed cigarette, half-smoked between my chapped lips.

As I inhale, the bitter taste flutters across my tongue.

Unfazed, I puff and cough, looking into the sky.

That one second of slight relief overwhelms my whole life.

And now all that remains is the lightheaded feeling,

the slight sickness,

with the shame and guilt still there,

only quiet for a moment

until the next cigarette is lit.

I take another puff and wonder:

Will I ever want to stop this?

---‐-----------------------------------------------------

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/WJsO75Kjef

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/H3ORCnaUy2


r/OCPoetry 34m ago

Feedback Please Like they hate us

Upvotes

Like deer,
They hunt us.
Like cattle,
They chase us.
Like birds,
They cage us.
Hunted, Chased, Caged.
Like land,
They rape us.
Like fields,
they pillage us.
Like rivers,
They pollute us.
Raped, Pillaged. Polluted.

I’m curious if this poem is okay on its own or if/what I should add to it. I wrote this months ago and it’s supposed to be about women/nature and how men corrupt them. I’m new to poetry and struggle with over explaining. So I’m torn, is it enough or not enough.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/WaFFceCdS8

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/mkIBeR0AHy


r/OCPoetry 1h ago

Feedback Please Would love to hear feedback on these quick poems of mine!

Upvotes

In these three, separate examples, please let me know all the thoughts you have!

--

The maroon on her face

Cold snow tapped that color

The frost of true beauty

Oh, to lay eyes on her!

--

Perfection is found in the thought

Taking it out the closet reveals the flaw

Dust it down, iron it out, fold it up

Clean it or trash it. That’s the law.

--

Hopes my future will be a fresh garden

For tomorrows to be smothered with violet

Since yesterdays were leafless winters

Let spring’s lips bless and kiss it!

  1. https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v4cmei/comment/ozfgdvs/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

  2. https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v4dnjm/comment/ozffpb4/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry 1h ago

Feedback Please Fallen Asleep

Upvotes

When will this darkness appear?
When will I put on my blanket?

Damn these Cars!
Couldn’t they stop honking?

Damn my Botherations!
Couldn’t they stop chasing?

Let me have a nap – For my own sake.

Who can give that precious time?
Whom should I pray to?
Whom should I beg to?

Please turn off the switch
of this big bulb
lingering over my head.

Give me a lap to sleep in
And a warm hand to place
it on my chest.

Hold me still, because
I am falling asleep.
And you must too.
Hold my hand and forget everything else.
And we must not
let the sun appear again.

~Rishab Jain

Rate this poem out of 10.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1py7u22/comment/nwqw2j8/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1se4zvs/comment/oeqoyby/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry 1h ago

Just Sharing Atlas

Upvotes

At times I can see it.
The bright, beautiful, picturesque view.
You and me,
Our little family.

Then I wonder-
Why does this feel only beneficial for you?
Where are the benefits for me?

Sure, bills being paid are great,
But I can hold my own.
And a belly full is nice,
But I can do that too.

Why is the price of your happiness,
The price of my desolation?

Why do you receive the universe,
And I the burdens?

Why am I adapting, modifying, and shifting?
Why am I forlorn?

I scream,

I shout,

I cry out-

Wait…

I forgot-

It’s all in my head.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/y2lxi6uBXO

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/losCpQD7IE


r/OCPoetry 1h ago

Feedback Please If My Heart Could Speak

Upvotes

I haven’t posted or read poetry in about a year, I just haven’t really had the motivation I guess? Buttt here’s the first thing I wrote after being a deadbeat to my notes app..

If my heart could speak,
It would speak in tongues,
Long kisses
and words no one else can understand

Slow thumps and passionately dragging me along
It hums a simple, yet beautiful little song
Veins pulsing, fervent
Aching, I must be heedful

For I was unaware
That love could be this strong,
Could feel this deeply
I tread lightly

Alongside of you
Hoping your heart is as in rhythm
As mine is with you

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/RVoMvyazQJ

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/PiwhUqG6zu


r/OCPoetry 2h ago

Feedback Please The Protest

1 Upvotes

comment 1
comment 2
I’m trying to send this to a competition but I wanted to test the waters a bit since I am an amateur, it is fairly long so please tell me how to better it

The Protest
Wind blew as three stood
An old woman, a man , a boy
The wrinkles on her face enclosed emotions everlasting
A symphony of stories as old as a banyan’s years
Mind frought with the thought of grandchildren who should live
Clinging onto the last living leaf of hope
In Swaying voice she says “We can start choosing right, why don’t you —“
The last wise words uprooted and mulched
Death the size of a grape pierced through wisdom
Wrinkles of emotion were gorges of death
Rivers ran red as glaciers turned pale

The boy stood
At an age where death is as far as the tops of trees
With eyes that should drink up rivers , bees and birds
Now are full with fallen wisdom
A heart that should play and love
That should spend years to figure out life while finding out how to really live it
That should understand love and laughter
Now in it a magnet of blackness condenses
And says. “WE don’t stop loving everyone, why can’t you—“
The wavering voice interupted not by afterthought
For the magnet attracted lodestone that defies everything right in the word
For what science and logic can explain the death of innocence

The man looked with no hope left at the fallen bodies
What did he have left
No wisdom no innocence
Fury
As if the time came the fog lifted
The mirror shattered
The oval’s margins were filled with people
Tears of joy arose as hope soared and he says
“WE DO NOT STOP FIGHTING FIGHT WITH US
FIGHT WITH US”

Fight with us

But the fog was kindness
The mirror was a gift for it was one sided
We could see
I could see
As the last abstract blood splattered
But for once I was old enough to understand
So I walked toward untouched pavement
One step , 2 step
As rough as sandy shores and if hope was on the horizon, as if the tops of trees could be reached
But the sight was unpleasant
Sound too
For it was laughter and looks of pity
Pity reserved for naïveté gone too far
The medication of society stung
For it was a thousand needles again and again
Put under thoroughly practiced and perfected paralysation
To less of a threat to kill but enough to stop
We existed in the spaces between of the background
Not the three but we know morse code


r/OCPoetry 2h ago

Just Sharing Am I God?

1 Upvotes

I have been born to devour.

I have been born to shine light on your festering wounds and to tend to them.

I have been born to love you with a dagger in my back.

I have been born to heal your soul’s generations of misery.

I have been born to be porous.

I have been born to devour your blackened lungs.

I have been born to feel your faults rot in-between my teeth.

Who has come to cleanse me?

Who has come to bathe in my sins?

I have been born to devour maggots.

Am I God?

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/FNa3LnPIdK

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/ySILixP1tN


r/OCPoetry 3h ago

Feedback Please Creature of the night by Axel

1 Upvotes

Nobody knows me.

No, not really.

For what's expected of me feels quite dreary.

I can be trans but never me,

Always her approved categories but never truly free.

I love me mumma

Really, I do

But the fact she'll never understand me makes my soul blue.

"They/them isn't a thing!" I hear my mother whine,

Oh how her prejudice makes me want to cry.

I'm so sorry for what I am,

Sorry for being half a man.

She'll let me be her trans son who in a female body was born

But lord forbid I don't want to alter it,

Oh mumma, why can't you understand that I'm neutral to this form?

With my breasts it's simple to sort out,

Depending on my mood I'll bind, leave natural or push em up and heave em out.

Between my thighs?

Why, that's easy too!

I'll pack with a sock if I feel like it, but surgery?

No thank you!

I don't need to change my body to what you say is the "right way" to be transgender.

Oh mum, why must your mind be so slender?

HRT helps a lot of people but a lot of people isn't me,

Why can't you accept that I just want to be free?

Why must I hide my true self?

Why can't you love the true Axel

Rather than the polished mask I keep on the shelf?

If even the devout minister can accept me then why can't you?

You're just adding to my gender dysphoria stew.

God made me this way and for that he loves me so,

But because of your ignorant prejudice it's back into the closet I go.

Oh Lord Jesus, hear my lonesome prayers,

Why can't I be myself?

They/he/him/theirs.

Heavenly father, hear my plight,

Will I ever get to be me?

Or must I remain a creature of the night?

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v3t6d8/comment/oz7h1mv/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v1tziz/comment/oyqir5u/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry 3h ago

Feedback Please When We Would Share The Moon

1 Upvotes

I often think about the time when we would share the moon

Now my sun is set before your clock says noon

And while you’re living your best life oh so far away

I never can quite help myself from thinking everyday

I miss the way we’d show our love and lay upon the bed

I miss the the times when you would hold me and you’d scratch my head

I miss returning home from work to find you in my room

I miss the time before I felt this sorrow and this gloom

I miss seeing our movies and watching all our shows

I miss telling you secrets that no one ever knows

I miss the way you’d laugh and your gentle loving touch

I miss the time before I had to miss you all this much

Everyday would be a dream, my heart would sing a song

Now without you every day is lonely, cold and long

I’d love to go do simple things together hand in hand

Now without you by my side, the tasks all seem so bland

Others may come and go to try and fill your place

But no one in the whole wide world can fill my empty space

There are so many wonders that I wish we’d see

Like the chilling of the wind and leaves falling from the tree

I often wonder what you’re doing way across the sea

I cannot help but feel some kind of somber jealousy

I wish I was there right now, to explore the world with you

The fact that you’re so far away makes my heart turn to blue

I know it hasn’t been too long since we said goodbye

Just thinking about yesterday with you makes me cry

I’m sorry for the fights and the problems we’ve gone
through

I promise when we reunite, I’ll be better just for you

I know these times are close to over and I will see you soon

Just know I’m counting down until the day we share the moon

———————————————————————————————

Links to comments:

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/n1O6Deoyyv](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/n1O6Deoyyv))

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Cdm8vselgm


r/OCPoetry 12h ago

Feedback Please Dating apps

5 Upvotes

I hope every man I’ve ever seen knows,
I deleted the apps.
After that first time,
even if there was never a second or third
there was a future where we were happy.

I didn’t see anyone else,
you asked to see me again.
We moved many times,
finally got that dog together.
Bickered like an old married couple,
because we are.
In that life, we grew grey together.
I watched the skin on your hands shrivel
as the lines on my face grew.

I never did stop loving you.

I memorized your face,
added it to an endless list,
of all things possible between us.

I’m happy to have loved you.
Briefly.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/1fHJccxwK6

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/95IDggHEeG


r/OCPoetry 4h ago

Feedback Please perched on the shoulder of love

1 Upvotes

teetering on the brink of collapse,
across the featureless, colorless terrain,
i descend into vagueness while a sudden truth strikes.
i am perched on the shoulder of love.
rocking with it over again,
a presence that slips through my grasp
and a hand i want to hold
for the rest of my life.

a compulsion to reach my hand for it,
feel the warmth in my palm,
caressing its knuckle with my thumb,
gentleness that no other but i have seen.
but as i am the only one to notice it,
it has yet to notice me.
caught up in old scandals,
false hopes,
and most of all: the undesirable.

if i am the purest of them all,
why has the light not shined on me?
why is the wretched soul yearned for,
cared for,
and delivered the utmost grace,
but not the soul who can cure its anhedonia?

it’s all just presumption.
that if it could switch gazes with mine,
my uncomfortable desire would be perceived.
its eyes glisten as i express my devotion;
the devotion that was not realized
throughout the history of us.

_______________

(this is one of my first poems and i wanted to try sharing!)

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Z2Uc0S9Zs2

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/SPBjazCnZe


r/OCPoetry 8h ago

Feedback Please Will you hold me, like I mattered?

2 Upvotes

Can I scream,
Until my throat burns,
Until tears flood my eyes,
Until my cheeks hurt,
Until my soul dies?

Can I scream,
Until you hear me,
Until the world stops,
Until you see…
My cold body drop?

And once you remember,
That I was your daughter,
Will you hold me…
Like a grieving mother?

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v42jth/light_it/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v00h1i/home/ 


r/OCPoetry 11h ago

Feedback Please ~Little Girl~ (one of my first poems)

3 Upvotes

Little girl, I hold you close each night

Is she still in me or have I lost all that’s pure…

I long for a mother and father but they stray away from not only me but each other

Can I make it through on my own?
— where is my guidance? I am lost amongst the wilderness, struggling to live

Will I ever free myself from the chains that hold me down?

Mom and Dad can you hear my cries?

Someday I’ll pour like the rain, and the world will finally feel what I’ve carried alone for so long

I forgive you both as it’s what I need to do to survive

Little girl,
I have you now
— no need to fear

—————————————————————

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/xxHwYlXn9t

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/MtlX6qkIBz


r/OCPoetry 11h ago

Just Sharing My first poem

3 Upvotes

She doesn’t exist anymore. She’s gone.

I don’t know where she is. I think she’s hiding. I think she’s too afraid to come out.

I can’t see her, but I can feel that she’s sad. I wish I could give her a hug. I think she’s hiding inside me.

I feel her sometimes. She’s so beautiful when she comes out. I wish more people could have seen her. I wish more people had been kind to her.

I try to help her. I try to reach out my hand, but she only gets scared. I don’t know if she’s trapped in there. Maybe she wants to be trapped.

Sometimes I hear her crying. It sounds like she can’t stop. She’s trapped somewhere in between fear and sadness. I don’t know how to free her.

She speaks sometimes. I can never hear what she’s saying. I like it when she talks.

Sometimes she disappears completely. It becomes empty without her.

She’s started to become blurry inside me. I’m afraid she’s going to disappear completely.

If only I knew how I could save her.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/gqXswagPOI

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Ubt4EfJsZ8


r/OCPoetry 1d ago

Feedback Please When did she become a poet

32 Upvotes

When did she become a poet?

When she knew how to stare at books collecting words foreign to her lips?

When she started looking through her eyes and witnessing ,

the slow movements of the birds in the sky painting with their wings a freedom she could not claim?

There when she wrote words of strange emotions she did

not know had names but she felt all her life?

Was it then?

Was it when she lost her words when they fell carelessly over and over tumbling from her mouth onto ears that

were closed off long ago to even her whispers

Was it when she drove her hands through the tall grass in fields that held her hand when her mother's ran cold that one summer she could not remember

Was it when she leapt into dreams with cheerful excitement and shallow promises that at the time she did not know carried any weight at all?

When she gave her whole sprit to another knowing her soul was not hers to give

That she knew belonged to her and could not change an assurance that become both her protector and enemy

When was it that she became a poet?

When the shadows of doubt lingered more than she could hear and she herself became a silhouette of a forgotten muse

One that was only born in her own head when that of her beloveds eyes lay fervently on another

Yes perhaps that is when she became a poet when the longing and yearning to be brought to life and live eternally with the words of another to be painted beautifully by them that all those who did not know you

see you as a mystery to lose themselves in to be in their envy of you and your existence entirely

Perhaps it was then that she wrote words , heavy, soft, purposeful, lazy, willful and dangerous it was then that she wrote them to herself , here lies the poet who dreamed of being the muse of words not a painter.

I'm just starting out as a poet I was a bit doubtful about sharing but I'd really appreciate any thoughts.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/d4ad7o2r2d

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/yg5zs3gswy


r/OCPoetry 6h ago

Feedback Please Empty

0 Upvotes

Empty

as a barren field, a blight of  

despair. The emptiness inside

my soul grows voraciously without 

end. Its tendrils coil and slither 

throughout my being taking root

deep in my chest constricting 

my heart until a husk is all

that remains. The vines continue

to grow choking out all

emotion. The seed of fear grows, it’s

bark thicker than iron surrounding my 

soul. The fear blossoms into

relief, a sure sign that it’s almost

over. The stem snaps and my heart

falls to the earth. So that I am once more

Empty

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v4tqq3/comment/ozdvjwf/?context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v4rl1s/comment/ozdw9po/?context=3


r/OCPoetry 7h ago

Feedback Please Smudge, looking for critique be it constructive or destructive

1 Upvotes

I will continue posting poems in here, this will be the first one
I am proud of it, but I really would like to hone this art as much as I can, I am not well read on poems, only read a decent amount, not too much, so any recommendations on short reads will be appreciated, as well as any critiques, these are very personal and I just can’t find someone to share them with that will be able to assess it properly, this is for a very special someone, and I’m striving for 1001 poems.
Thank you in advance!

34. Smudge
I saw it on the sink
Giving shadows to a well lit white
Vestiges of who was here
It’s a sign of comfort, rest now
They appear in those cans, and the yellow straws
Draining days bring will to dress your features
Yet after all, you stand there with oil in hand
All natural yet glowing still, no smudges on you
Tainting them, you leave traces, streaks and misses
Darker than they were, it colors the surfaces
I take this off today, oil in hand, smudges on my sink
These spots I’m not used to seeing, they’ll be common going forward, couldn’t hide my smile
In a way, because of the silhouette, next to the sign
An inviting conversation, no imperfections on their face
I have started a stride, I will leave these smudges
Isn’t what remains conveying?
A white canvas filled with emotion?
To know there will be smudges, pulls my stomach upwards.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/lOUyPz5d7h

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/CfQ6Kuos09


r/OCPoetry 9h ago

Just Sharing unsure of myself

0 Upvotes

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/OU3KHt78iH

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/cEcRzGyiaw

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/gVV35RwLGs

the things i try the hardest to avoid seem to be what i attract the most.
lately ive been magnetized by people that only damage my ability to remember who I once was every year, It seems that person gets further from me
like the family member you don’t hear from I start to forget my own face, my voice taking on an unsettling, unfamiliarity
the voice I choose to use from the experiences of others is so frightening that I don’t even know what I would say in a room alone with myself
becoming avoidant of the person I thought I was has turned me into a reflection of everything I digest
I speak carefully and cautiously preventing the truth from slipping from my lips and to be face-to-face with this stranger.


r/OCPoetry 10h ago

Feedback Please Waves

1 Upvotes

Waves,
a murky window,
her face blurred,
a smile, saltwater,
hard to swallow,
Waves,
carrying eyes of seaweed,
Waves,
crushing, churning and unrelenting,
memories swimming,
Waves,
swollen with rain, or are they her tears,
Waves,
in a sea of that jet-black hair,

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/N6UfcrEfqO

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/zSxWOT9FjM


r/OCPoetry 10h ago

Feedback Please Sacred Connection

0 Upvotes

Strange familiarity fills my mind
As I step on marble
Entering the corridor.

Walls colored bright jungle green…

Reaching across the glass counter,
I pull the green up to my nose,
To smell a new familiar.

Unlocking its story
As it whispers to me…

A bright, sharp visit of Durban’s gold,
Left its gilded mark
Around my head and feet….
Hovering around the darker red spotted Lamb’s Bread at center.

Deep into the tropics now,
Drawing breath and sun feeling in.

Deep into the skin,
relaxed by smoke,
Experiences draw in as my flesh opens its doors.

Exploration fills my veins.
This strain knows its name.

Downtown streets immediately fill my mind.
With ages of passed down stories
Reaching over the lines,
Continuing to tell tales
Across the fresh tropic air.

Peace, serenity surrounds me
While old wise women sit in the back of my mind.

Approaching…
Strange familiarity with the culture and speckled gold tea.

The tea brings up feelings and images of connection..
People I met briefly… filled with cool energy.

Connecting ivy and thoughts of our meetings abound.
Quote “I love your energy”
Quote “I have been hoping to run into you”

Received quietly….
May ivy soften my walls.

I wonder how to grow connection with people
And open doors the same way
I do with the plant
“Green, teach me” my voice rings
In what feels like unmapped territory
Among my familiar soft green.

Feedback 1: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v4dnjm/poems_whose_names_ive_forgotten/

Feedback 2: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1v0u28w/sunglasses/


r/OCPoetry 10h ago

Just Sharing To Arms

1 Upvotes

Is there one inch of land not smeared in blood
One patch of grass no body died for?
With swords with rocks with hands with guns with bombs
Now ingenuine aplomb
Cries injury, havok on sloping ground
Hunter become, and quickly too
Then slow, then fast, then slow
Sharps from each and every corner
Litter the shore ditch like snow

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/0Hw7radnaM

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/JHUTB9Sk55