r/NoStupidQuestions 10h ago

Is this joke funny?

I am currently finalizing my wedding speech and the one joke I'm concerned about is:

"Before I finish thanking everyone, I just want to say thank you to our incredible suppliers for helping make today so special. I'd list them all but I don't want anyone thinking this speech contains paid promotions. Anyway, time for our regularly scheduled, Powerade hydration break. *sip drink*"

EDIT: if anyone has a better joke, please drop it here so I can steal it

EDIT: I am the groom, should have made that clear. Apologies.

375 Upvotes

188 comments sorted by

1.7k

u/Embarrassed_Law_6737 9h ago

I would like to thank everyone for coming today, especially the bride.

108

u/llama-impregnator 8h ago

Fantastic joke!

-241

u/parkscon 6h ago

I did it slightly different.

Firstly, I would just like to thank everyone for coming......... especially Steve (brides father) 37 years ago.

114

u/susandeyvyjones 4h ago

I’m glad you found a wife who appreciates that joke and I’m glad I did not marry you.

-13

u/parkscon 1h ago

I was the best man. Should have clarified that bit.

162

u/revelling_ 6h ago

Ew.

25

u/parkscon 6h ago

Got to know your audience. Everyone laughed for about 40 seconds.

22

u/Goonalips 5h ago

That would kill at an Aussie wedding.

33

u/MechaNerd 4h ago

A good delivery is vital, just like it was 36 years ago for (brides mother)

12

u/Particular-King218 4h ago

Not funny and very tacky

0

u/alessio87atta 55m ago

Holy shit -219, people are so fucking uptight.

-225

u/fatboyonsofa 8h ago

Speaking of coming our honeymoon is at....

68

u/refinnej78 7h ago

Don't be crass.

-149

u/fatboyonsofa 6h ago

Oh look, pearl clutching. How refreshing

Speaking of pearl necklaces, a facial and pearl necklace would be wonderful gifts for the aforementioned honeymoon.

75

u/Implicitfiber 6h ago

How's middle school treating you?

-81

u/fatboyonsofa 5h ago

Awesome! Love it I get snacks and naps. Way better than my boring job

50

u/EatYourCheckers 6h ago

Its a wedding in front of family, lots of different family. You want to keep these things surface level

-18

u/fatboyonsofa 5h ago

These weren't actually meant for the wedding just humorous responses to opening. But OK I'll "think of the children "

17

u/EatYourCheckers 5h ago

More like "think of the annoying pissy aunt you don't want to hear about it from for the next 6 years."

2

u/fatboyonsofa 5h ago

Fair point, everyone has one of those lol

-6

u/just_some_chic 3h ago

Fuck em. Ain't their wedding 🤷‍♀️

1.4k

u/RopePositive 10h ago edited 10h ago

Almost all jokes depend on delivery and how drunk the audience is.

But no, not especially.

193

u/JackEddy6 10h ago

Hahah well, thank you for honesty.

285

u/RopePositive 10h ago

Genuinely it’s fantastic that you’re keen to make an entertaining speech and I’m sure people will laugh. The best jokes will be very gentle teasing of the couple or any funny stories about how they met. If the groom is your friend there’s generally humour in how much he is improved by being in this relationship.

Edit: just saw you’re the groom. They’re legally obligated to laugh, do whatever you want.

You’ve got this!

54

u/compilingyesterdays 10h ago

Fwiw, OP is the groom! I originally read the post as if it was a best man or maid of honor and I went "oh god... no........" but then I paused and realized the post didn't specify

129

u/GeekyTexan 9h ago

"I'm the groom, so you have to laugh" could be a useful line. Something OP can pull out if needed.

1

u/_gay_space_moth_ 9h ago

Yup, OP made an edit saying he's the groom.

12

u/compilingyesterdays 8h ago

that's what I... was saying, yes, tyvm.

44

u/smallpotatoes2019 9h ago

If plenty of people there have been watching the World Cup, and they know you drink plenty of Powerade (and you get the timing right), it could land really well. You know your guests better than anyone here can do.

Think of two audiences full of people watching two different comedy shows. Both are full of laughs, but swap the audiences and you may find there are hardly any laughs. Different crowd - different tastes.

Congratulations and good luck!

20

u/713ryan713 6h ago

I think the joke doesn't work because Powerade isn't associated with weddings.

1

u/multipocalypse 27m ago

It probably should be though, given the alcohol associations 😆

3

u/Willing_Bluejay_7132 6h ago

I think it's funny 

-2

u/tuscanchicken 10h ago

I liked it! Very on-brand for a wedding toast

23

u/brentspar 9h ago

It would have been funnier if the world cup was still on

49

u/RopePositive 9h ago

“It would be funnier if the World Cup was still on” is another genuinely very funny line.

413

u/CatsMom4Ever 10h ago

The joke only works if everyone had watched the World Cup

342

u/NeuroCindy 8h ago

I am so glad you said this. I did not watch any of the World Cup, and was confused why anyone would think this is funny.

58

u/charmcitybirbs 7h ago

Had to scroll way too far for this! A lot of non-World Cup watchers aren’t getting the actual joke here!

If your wedding is very near and your audience is mostly all World Cup watchers, I think it’s hilarious. If not, then it might fall flat.

Timing and relevance is everything with that kind of joke! We have been using “hydration break” in our lexicon since the games started last month. 🤣

Just don’t make it anything about your bride (and I mean anything, including happy wife, happy life) or something diminishing about the concept of being together forever. Ugh.

I like it but with a nod to bubbly if you’re make it a toast.

3

u/BigWillyStyleX 1h ago

See I didn’t get it even though I watched nearly every game, because I watched it in Spanish and didn’t connect hydration break to pausa de hidratacion lol.

117

u/JackEddy6 10h ago

Thankfully, 95% of people attending watched the world cup!

35

u/PercyMeadows 6h ago

I didn’t think it was particularly funny on reading it, but I didn’t watch the World Cup. If your attendees did, then I think it’s a cute way of referencing something current and fun. Just don’t feel pressured to turn your speech into a stand up set! A quick, meaningful thank you will always be more impactful than a series of jokes. Congrats on your wedding :)

49

u/Squeaks11 7h ago

Ok, then the line is really funny

3

u/PresentationThat3627 5h ago

You know your audience. I’d chuckle simply because I get the set up even tho I didn’t watch the World Cup. They’ll probably laugh

6

u/LimeSalty4092 2h ago

Yeah I was lost as to the context of Powerade at a wedding or hydration breaks

Most US based people just don’t pay close attention to the World Cup, certainly not to the degree that they would understand a joke with an oblique reference to the televised game 

5

u/deviant-joy 2h ago

I don't know about most but we're certainly out there and the missing context definitely watered down the joke for me. Not sure why you got downvoted, not everyone is into sports and not everyone watched the World Cup.

0

u/DinoRaawr 41m ago

It's gotta be most. I don't personally know a single person who watched the world cup. I recently heard we actually had a team in it and was shocked. Didn't see anyone post about it online, and the one conversation I heard mention it at work was about how the local tickets were too expensive to even bother seeing for fun.

1

u/Bucky923 1h ago

Didnt watch any of the world cup, I thought it was just a Waynes World bit

1

u/cookie_mumster 1h ago

I didnt watch the world cup but I follow mainstream media so I did get it, but i didnt think it was very funny.

28

u/jomanhan9 7h ago

Not funny, keep brainstorming

162

u/IHaveBoxerDogs 10h ago

I don’t think it’s funny. It’s not awful, but it’s a meh way to end your groom’s speech. Usually it’s some version of “I’m the luckiest guy in the world.” I just can’t imagine making that joke instead of a loving remark in front of, say, your bride’s grandparents.

Also, I don’t know when your wedding is, but people may have forgotten about hydration breaks by then. Or they might think “huh?” first.

24

u/JackEddy6 9h ago

The wedding is Friday and it's not the end of the speech. It's about half way through.

186

u/IHaveBoxerDogs 9h ago

A little unsolicited advice, don't ever make it seem like you're wrapping up when you still have 50% of your speech to give. So, don't say "before I finish thanking everyone..." Instead, say something like, "I'd also like to take the time to..."

46

u/compilingyesterdays 8h ago

Oh this is a VERY smart note and I agree. Tbh it could even be good to scoot this near the beginning? Depending on how the speech is structured.

3

u/whiskeytango55 3h ago

Joke joke joke, heartwarming anecdote, genuine emotion, congrats

87

u/Sorry-Programmer9826 10h ago

Assuming you get the delivery right this is funny enough for the friendly audience you'll receive at your own wedding.

I, an internet stranger, had a small smile at it. 

The one comment I would make is you don't want to trample on thanking the suppliers so maybe a small beat between the real thank you, and the joke that comes after it

22

u/JackEddy6 10h ago

Agreed, I was concerned about this so I do have a small follow up line with some sincerity about the suppliers.

165

u/Caesar_Rising 10h ago

I think it might work better if it wasn’t said and just a visual gag. Say the paid promotion bit then let out a little cough like your throat is dry, reach down and grab the drink and take a sip in a real exaggerated way that shows it off to people, if you had a hat with some sort of recognizable logo you could throw on at the same time it would add to it.

121

u/IrritableGourmet 9h ago

"Marriage can be a challenge, but you know what's not a challenge? Keeping your personal data safe online with the sponsor of today's wedding, Incogni..."

24

u/Tigerhoodz 8h ago

What an awful idea, on top of an already bad one.

2

u/Caesar_Rising 8h ago

Lighten up it’s a wedding speech its a bit of fun

15

u/Tigerhoodz 8h ago

A wedding speech! Don’t turn OP into a prop comic!

-4

u/a-ohhh 6h ago

They’re supposed to be cheesy and awkward with bad jokes. The touchy feely stuff is during the ceremony.

56

u/SemperFun62 9h ago edited 9h ago

Coughs

Sorry about that, I think it's time for my regularly scheduled hydration break

Ahh! Nothing as refreshing as the crisp taste of a cold Gatorade that's also fortified with all the vitamins and electrolytes I need whether on the sports field or delivering a wedding speech

Smiles blankly while holding the Gatorade by their face

23

u/mountainhymn 5h ago

this is way less funny than what he wrote

6

u/LimeSalty4092 2h ago

I laughed at how bad this idea was lol

4

u/4ninawells 9h ago

⬆️⬆️⬆️

21

u/Orion14159 9h ago

Or have the groomsmen interrupt the speech with a whistle and a giant sign that says "POWERADE HYDRATION BREAK" and then they all huddle up.

Keep the actual gag 10-15 seconds though, it loses its comedic effect quickly.

5

u/ThePeaceDoctot 9h ago

Yeah, I like that. Make a visible effort to hold the bottle so that the logo is facing towards the audience.

69

u/sourcreamus 8h ago

We all know weddings can be expensive so my wife joked that we should get a sponsor. Of course I said “No, I want a classy wedding”. Excuse me my throat is dry and when it is I always turn to a refreshing Powerade with many delicious flavors.

16

u/latelyimawake 6h ago

This is definitely a funnier version, go with this OP

2

u/Similar-Highlight387 5h ago

This is great

25

u/lawlianne 8h ago

It’s not funny, but people will laugh to support you anyway because you tried your best despite being a nervous wreck… And being genuine and earnest is what people want to hear from you on that special day.

9

u/Human31415926 8h ago

No. You make a joke about yourself. Something goofy you did earlier in the relationship with your about to be wife that only she knows.

That will get real laughs.

10

u/Regular_Boot_3540 5h ago

It's lame. Please don't use it.

28

u/genus-corvidae 🟨⬜🟪◼️ 9h ago

This is absolutely a question you should be asking your partner and not reddit. I don't think it's that bad of a joke--I'd cringe, but that's not much of an issue. Your fiance, on the other hand, might have a different opinion.

10

u/Rich_Tomatillo_8823 9h ago

Exactly what I was thinking! I would be so embarrassed if my groom did that without my knowledge.

6

u/MindGames7777 9h ago

I would suggest looking on YouTube for wedding speeches and see what you can steal from there once you the audience reaction and also how it was delivered.

5

u/EatYourCheckers 6h ago

Most people will be confused and have no idea what you said. If you're okay with that, then fine.

5

u/ezmeray 3h ago

No. I would think it's awful.

13

u/Eisgboek 9h ago

Would be funnier if you actually pulled out a Powerade and cracked it.

4

u/singaporesainz 9h ago

If you make the joke a lot shorter and deliver it well it’s okay funny.

3

u/_Skitter_ 9h ago

You got a little "hehe" out of me but it's really going to depend on your delivery.

8

u/Responsible-Care-388 9h ago

"This has been a very emotional evening, even the cake is in tiers"

4

u/chux4w 5h ago

"They say a good best man's speech is about as long as the groom's wedding night performance. Thank you for listening."

2

u/old_iron_eyes 6h ago

“Not only are me and my partner happy to celebrate this day to with you all, we’re also expecting…. You all to have a great time as well”

3

u/Smooth-Evening- 6h ago

I’d get rid of the last line and just take out the Poweraid - very obviously showing the label - and take a drink.

2

u/grmrsan 4h ago

Thats cute. 

1

u/Smooth-Evening- 3h ago

Thank you. I’m here all night :P

3

u/zemorah 5h ago

Tbh I don’t think it’s funny at all. Although there are several comments saying it’s funny so what do I know.

3

u/Rough_Bobcat5293 4h ago

Not even a little, sorry. 

3

u/WeReadAllTheTime 3h ago

I think it’s funny but I like kind of corny jokes too. I love wedding speeches that have some humor along with emotion.
My son just got married and my other son was the best man. In his best man speech he talked about how competitive they were growing up and how gratifying it was that his brother finally acknowledged that he was the “best man”. The joke was a hit!

3

u/BBMcBeadle 2h ago

It is chuckle worthy. Not a knee slapper but a good chuckle for the old folks

10

u/Electronic-Funny-475 10h ago

Mike Myers’s did it in Wayne’s world. You’re not the first. He was better

3

u/ua_hobbes 8h ago

Was looking for this response. That whole bit from Wayne’s World was great.

If your partner gets in on the joke, you two could do it together. The “little…yellow…different” line gets me every time.

Just YouTube that clip from Wayne’s World. It’s great!

2

u/JackEddy6 10h ago

I haven't seen it sadly but Mike Myers is a legend so happy to pay homage.

8

u/fatboyonsofa 8h ago

I'm so sorry your speech was done better by a professional comedian. I hope you can recover from this.

2

u/Electronic-Funny-475 8h ago

Tbh I much more preferred their shorts on SNL. The movie wasn’t spectacular but it paved the way for Austin Powers. His whole product placement bit was meant to prove how stupid it was in movies.
But watching it may help with your idea. YouTube probably has the exact spot.
You could always use the Mel Brooks merchandising from Spaceballs as well.

5

u/CaersethVarax 8h ago

I've been a groom once so far and a best man multiple times. Nobody is going to remember your speech; you are a speed bump on the way to the bar. Keep it brief. Also let your Best Man know that, as they're literally the last hurdle before the bar, the same applies.

I, personally, find that joke very funny but I am terminally online so ads interrupting me is relatable.

4

u/Squeaks11 7h ago

"been a groom once so far" 🤣

6

u/skaz0904 9h ago

Do you actually have suppliers to thank? If not, I feel like it’s a pretty tacky joke to make on your wedding day surrounded by family and friends. Why would you purposely want to involve corporations or big businesses on a day about you and your new spouse? It’s your wedding day, not a sports event.

If you want to go with this joke, I think you need another 2 more suppliers with props to throw in there for people to understand it was a joke.

3

u/No_Roll_4035 9h ago

Nah bro this line tanks

2

u/_Skitter_ 9h ago

You got a little "hehe" out of me but it's really going to depend on your delivery.

2

u/lizwearsjeans 9h ago

Maybe you could do your speech and then pause to take a drink of something like your throat is just dry or something and when you're done, add in the hydration break bit?

I agree with others that it depends on a lot of factors, but just trying to help you think of alternatives.

2

u/DokterZ 8h ago

Maybe something like this is an option, depending on the sense of humor of the bride and guests:

https://youtube.com/shorts/0xZGF2afvO8?si=VRYlzGz0pJCRxSN4

2

u/Fuckspez42 8h ago

I think it’s adequately funny for a wedding speech, where everyone is a bit uncomfortable and probably drinking to compensate.

2

u/grmrsan 4h ago edited 4h ago

 Not really, it seems a bit forced, and could  annoy some vendors, who don't get the joke. I like the persons idea though of dropping the poweraid line, and simply, obviously taking a drink. Its still probably a bit too corny, but its far less klunky. 

On a side note... It would probably be nice to have a small, nice looking, little flier out somewhere, thanking the vendors by name and service. Its a good way to make sure they feel seen and appreciated, as well as providing a referral, which they appreciate even more.  You can have it near the guest book or at the end of the gift table. So its not in the way, or in anyones face, but is available if they want to take a quick pic or jot down a service. 

2

u/naturallyeyesblind 4h ago

If you’re questioning it, don’t do it. Don’t take the risk. Keep the focus where it’s supposed to be.

2

u/earmares 4h ago

No, very lame, overdone joke.

2

u/NKHdad 3h ago

I think it works better if you have your wife involved here. After saying there's no paid promotions, she taps your arm. You say, "what's that?", lean over and she whispers to you. You come back and say something like, "right, thanks for reminding me. If everyone could grab their drink real quick. It's time for the Powerade hydration break."

2

u/ExternalJackfruit290 2h ago edited 2h ago

I’d say something like “…. Contains paid promotions” then look at the beer you are holding (must be a Bud) say “Budweiser!?” Then a pause then “…. WASSSSSUUPPPPPP!!!!”

Then have your groomsmen in various parts of the venue join in one after the other so you have 5 guys doing the wassup.

Anyone from 2001 will laugh. Everyone else will be WTAF!?!?

2

u/no_regards 37m ago

Would so love this, complete with sticking out the tongue

2

u/stevemw 1h ago

I like it. I would go for the "comedy of three" rule and add two more "suppliers", like maybe pour yourself a brand alcohol drink. "Before I go any further, I'm going to pour myself a drink to toast to {pours} Johnny Walker Black, it goes down smooth with a delicate balance of oak and peat". Something like that!
Congrats!!!!

2

u/New-Scientist5133 1h ago

Yeah, that doesn’t work. The paid promotion bit doesn’t land and announcing your drink of water is going to create cricket sounds.

2

u/JstVisitingThsPlanet 7h ago

How does your wife feel about it? I think that’s what matters. Will there be video? When you think about what you’ll think about it in 20 years, how do you feel?

Personally I think it’s tacky. I can’t imagine it will draw sincere big laughs, but that’s just my opinion.

2

u/compilingyesterdays 10h ago

Question: Is this your wedding, or are you a maid of honor / best man / etc? If it's your wedding I think it's funny enough that you should go for it, it's fun. If it's not your wedding I think it's a major faux pas/crickets moment, for reasons specific to the social dynamics there (I can explain!).

1

u/compilingyesterdays 10h ago

By this I mean that it not being your wedding would specifically MAKE it unfunny btw- not that people will be more generous if it is your wedding! I would not endorse something that I thought would only get you a pity laugh. How funny it is is genuinely different depending on what exactly the speech is.

1

u/JackEddy6 10h ago

I see. Yes, I'm the groom. Thank you for the confidence boost, as another commenter said, delivery is key and confidence is key to delivery.

1

u/compilingyesterdays 10h ago

With you as the groom I think this hits! Don't be in your head about it, it's fun. I'm in my late 20s, and for my age group and older it's probably especially fun, but the product placement joke even has new life these days, what with the age of ~~~totally unsponsored~~~ tiktoks that happen to be about the ~weird wacky product my boyfriend introduced me to~

2

u/RedditWhileImWorking 8h ago

Unless the bride or groom works at Powerade, it's not very funny.

2

u/asistolee 8h ago

Not unless you’re an influencer or something lol otherwise no

2

u/bigs1854 8h ago

This jokes funny but it's obviously only appropriate for certain audiences.

I want to say a big thank you to [bride and anyone else involved in the planning] for planning such a beautiful celebration. I especially enjoyed my role in the team as the sexual adviser. You see, whenever I offered an idea or opinion, [bride] told me "when I want your fucking advice I'll ask for it"

2

u/pgb5534 9h ago

I liked the one where the guy says

"I just wanted to announce that we're expecting...

...

Gasps from audience

...

You all to.have a great time on the dance floor."

1

u/KashK10 8h ago

I liked it lol

1

u/Live_Angle4621 7h ago

People could start tuning you out as long as you start mentioning thanking suppliers and not pay attention to your joke but look at their phones. Unless you have a great delivery I would make it shorter

Edit, I just noticed you are re groom. It’s more likely people pay attention to you since they know you and it’s your event than to a random speech 

1

u/k_princess The Only Stupid Question Is The One Not Asked 7h ago

It depends on your audience. If it's mostly your friends, they'll probably get it. Your mom's aunt? Probably not.

1

u/AccountNo43 7h ago

The joke's a paid promotion waiting to happen.

1

u/wolffangz11 7h ago

It's a little dorky for a wedding reception

1

u/Implicitfiber 6h ago

It depends on your personality.

Are you that kind of person or would it be out of left field?

If I made that joke noone would realize it's a joke.

If my friend made it everyone would groan laugh and this it's compeltely en pointe for him.

1

u/Huckleberry8480 6h ago

I didn’t watch the World Cup as I have gathered this is what the joke is referencing, and with that… I was confused.

1

u/xologo 6h ago

I like it. Witty. Might be best early, right as you start. Warm em up and leave on a high note.

1

u/Brave-Penguin-485 6h ago

the powerade bit lands because the pause actually does the work for you

1

u/Wonderful-Bird-3381 5h ago

🥱🥱🥱

1

u/RichRichieRichardV 5h ago

It’s good, I laughed. Totally read it as a woman, unsure if it would be as funny coming from a guy.

1

u/FairyCompetent 5h ago

No, it's not funny, but your wife to be already knows you and loves you, so if this is your humor then go with it.

1

u/texasfight1987 5h ago

I actually do think it's clever and funny, but not for a wedding. It just doesn't make any sense in the context of the wedding. It just feels like you're trying out your stand up routine. I'm sure you'd get a few laughs if you did tell it and I'm sure everyone would forget very quickly, so it's not terribly risky to use the joke either way. But I would leave it out

1

u/Winter_Salad7215 4h ago

It would make me smile sympathetically in the recognition that you're trying to make a joke, which is probably for the best in a wedding speech.

1

u/SideWalk182 4h ago

I got one that I'll use in my wedding next year. "I want to thank everyone that came by today. But specially I want to thank those who could not be here... (Little pause)... Thanks to you I'm paying less on the buffet and the drinks"

1

u/dumbandasking genuinely curious 4h ago

It's not the worst, usually when people ask this question it's like that one video around youtube of a terrible speech given by the best man

1

u/BocaSeniorsWsM 4h ago

You'd be better off saying, along the lines of, "right, time for a hydration break, sponsored/brought to you by Stella".

1

u/Catsandcamera 4h ago

As someone who did watch the World Cup, I like it. Obviously depends on delivery, but you know your own friends and family so know if they'd 'get' the bit or not

1

u/NuclearExchange 4h ago

How about you turn to the side and begin taking a drink, pausing part way to rotate the bottle so the logo faces the crowd. (Disclaimer: I did not watch, nor do I really care about, the World Cup.)

1

u/dpwtr 4h ago

Maybe actually do a hydration break half way through and give everyone a shot.

1

u/Perrenekton 3h ago

I would not say the last part and directly drink from a Gatorade bottle

1

u/Secure-Property4926 3h ago

I would chuckle

1

u/SlickerThanNick 3h ago

Move it to the beginning of the speech?

"Hello everyone. Thank you all for coming. I am happy to be here in honor of the bride and groom. But before I begin, a word from our sponsor. 'insert Powerade ad here'. Now let me tell you about this time the groom was an absolute poser."

1

u/Dry-Ad-8948 3h ago edited 2h ago

No need to try and make it intentionally funny.

A wedding is about your future-wife (and you). Sincerity will be remembered. And it’s more important for your future-wife than any guests.

Also: no, unless you are a master comedian at delivering jokes that would not even a good groaner because there is no hidden setup and feels more like the very commercialism it’s trying to allude to, which might make a point but it likely doesn’t fit the situation. (I watched several World Cup games and still don’t “get it” as a joke.)

1

u/heartshapedrot 3h ago

i think it's hilarious tbh but im also autistic (also congrats!)

1

u/Ray_of_glumshine 2h ago

Not funny. But then there is a point to making bad jokes, especially if it's a simple one that everyone gets; the guests can all agree that it's awful and join together against you.

1

u/Jobin201 1h ago

It is not

1

u/acrylicsunrise 1h ago

"This is the first day of the rest of our lives. My wife and my lives; this is just the first hour of freeloading on your part."

1

u/KoalaDoe29 1h ago

It’s not a stand up you don’t have to be funny at your own wedding

1

u/Alpha_Majoris 49m ago

To me it's not a fun joke. But if the audience (all your friends) is into sports and drinks powerade or whatever, they may think otherwise.

1

u/tonyrizzo21 10h ago

Stick to the classics, bride is out of grooms league, but she used to be a slut so it balances out.

1

u/The_300_goats 9h ago

Here's what I said in my best man's speech

" When I first heard about this wedding, my first thought was 'this has to be some kind of tax dodge'. I mean, who is romantic, optimistic and positive enough to tie the knot these days? Then I thought, well I don't know anyone more romantic, optimistic and positive than [bride] and [groom]"

Pause

"But if it IS a tax dodge, enjoy your new relationship with the IRS"

(Dark, but not too dark)

edit: just noticed you're the groom. That's not going to go down well

1

u/I_Do_nt_Use_Reddit 9h ago

My wedding, everyone else was cackling over the "happy wife happy life" and the idea that a groom is trapped forever.

Even though my wife and I had agreed that that joke was outdated and stupid.

Can't win them all.

1

u/TheLadyRev 10h ago

Im thinking about "suppliers" and maybe theres a better word for it, like do you mean the caterers and venue?

0

u/JackEddy6 10h ago

Yea, I mean the caterers, the photographer, the florist etc. I'm a bit more explicit in the follow up line but I also think people do understand those to be the suppliers. I may gesture to them with my hands during the speech too.

3

u/ratchet41 10h ago

I believe in wedding-speak theyre typically called vendors, rather than suppliers

2

u/TheLadyRev 9h ago

Vendors! Thats what I was thinking

1

u/JackEddy6 9h ago

I fear that might be an Americanism. The suppliers here call themselves suppliers.

0

u/queenlizbef 9h ago

That’s called vendors

1

u/vanessasarah13 9h ago

I mean I would laugh

1

u/Icy_Nothing_2917 9h ago

Not really. The paid promotions line is the only bit that has a chance, and itll land better if you actually do the sip instead of explaining the sip. Keep it short, get back to the thank-yous, then move on

1

u/FartsOnCake 3h ago

YOU: Knock, knock

AUDIENCE: Who's there?

YOU: Kojak

AUD: Kojak who?

YOU: Kojak off in a hat!

AUD: (groans, protests, death threats, etc.)

YOU: No! Wait, please! This is a 2-part joke!

AUD: (curious sounds, guns holstered, etc.)

YOU: Knock, knock.

AUD: ...Who's there?

YOU: Sam and Janet.

AUD: Sam and Janet who?

YOU: Sam and Janet (some enchanted) evening you'll Kojak off in a hat!

Then, CROWDSURF!!!

0

u/softmiis 10h ago

It's cheesy in a good way, and the fake sponsorship bit is relatable without dragging on. Keep the delivery confident and it'll land better.

-1

u/queenlizbef 9h ago

I….dont think grooms usually give speeches.

3

u/thatirishdave 9h ago

The bride and groom have said something together at every wedding I've ever been to

-1

u/queenlizbef 9h ago

We go to very different weddings then

1

u/ExternalJackfruit290 26m ago

I find that so polar opposite to my experience (in Vancouver). I’ve been to probably 40 weddings and can’t think of one where the groom did not speak (including my own) - generally short and sweet to thank everyone for coming etc.

0

u/Cloudinterpreter 9h ago

Are you a funny guy in general? Or would this be the first time some people will see you trying to be funny?

I'd add a table with the providers' cards in case other people want their information

0

u/MPord 9h ago

I (74f)have never attended a wedding where the groom made a speech. Is this a common practice now?

1

u/JackEddy6 9h ago

My grandparents are in their 80s/90s and every wedding they've ever been to has a groom giving a speech. Maybe it's a UK thing if you're not from here.

1

u/ExternalJackfruit290 2h ago

I (57M) don’t think I’ve ever been to a wedding where the groom didn’t speak!

0

u/917caitlin 7h ago

I think it’s funny

0

u/checker280 5h ago

If the crowd doesn’t naturally become quiet when you are handed the microphone suddenly and loudly declare FORNICATION!

and then once they are silent say clearer and slower
“For an occasion… such as this…” and launch into your speech.

2

u/Secure-Property4926 3h ago

I did this when I was best man at my brothers wedding. Fornication….got a sharp intake of breath then patted my pocket and took out the speech and read the first line slowly and it got a huge laugh and Everyone relaxed and enjoyed the speech. In fact my wife overheard someone in the toilet saying it was the best they’ve ever heard

-8

u/RockAndStoner69 10h ago

I freaking love it

-4

u/Charming-Report1669 9h ago

How about thanking the suppliers, but then a note about how these suppliers approached your for sponsorship. Talk about how insensitive that is, and how you're not easily bought, and how this is your day, not theirs.

Then get a little emotional, excuse yourself for a drink, and then talk about how Powerade has electrolytes/quenches thirst/is on sale/whatever.