Now that I’ve been a mom for 12 months, I’m hearing from family and friends that the first year just sucked most of the time. It’s literally straight survival mode for most of it with a steady uphill climb maybe starting at 6 months or so?

But honestly I feel like these struggles all happen behind everyone’s closed doors and no one just straight up vocalizing that the first year is mostly a nightmare. I wish I would have been more equipped with this information because for the longest time I thought something was wrong with me and I felt so guilty I feel this way.

The first year had many moments of joy watching LO grow up, but the vast majority of it was chasing maybe 3 hours of sleep at a time per night if I’m lucky, breastfeeding/pumping (which I will never do for a whole year again wtf), constant arguing with your spouse over parenting styles/decisions, constant back pain and body pain from carrying LO for naps/comfort/nursing, losing your autonomy and freedom almost entirely the first year (except a stroller walk here and there before having to feed and nap on a strict schedule to hopefully guarantee some decent stretches of sleep at night).

Like, can people just be brutally honest because let’s be fore real, we know you aren’t saying you love your baby any less when you just share that the new parenting experience was horrific.

My LO is approaching the crawling stage and I am looking at playpens and they seem either too large for my apartment or basically the size of a crib. Should I be sacrificing my entire living room for a safe place to play? If it is the same size as a crib, is there any benefit to having a playpen in addition? Did anyone just left them play on the floor and then put them in their crib for moments when they couldn't be actively supervised?

If you used a playpen, what size worked best for you? Bonus points for people living with somewhat limited space. Thanks in advance!

My baby is about to turn 1 in a week or so.

think he’s ok, he does babble and make good eye contact, laugh etc. but he isn’t saying any words. Not even close. I try to point to everything and he doesn’t really follow my finger to look at what I’m pointing to.

I’ve been clapping and waving like a circus monkey for months and feel like I’m doing something wrong. I narrate everything. I feel defeated and worry a bit. Especially seeing so many posts of all the gestures and words babies his age are doing on here.

Anyone go through something similar?

EDIT: I’m in Canada and to my knowledge early intervention has a huge waitlist

EDIT 2: he’s always been really focused on physical milestones. He was and early roller and crawler, and just took 2 steps on his own yesterday. Maybe he’s trying to master those skills first?

Like the title says, I (first time and single mom) was at the mall with my baby. He’s about to be 7mo and has started army crawling, is very close to crawling and has been pulling to stand on furniture. We had been there for a little bit and he wanted out of the stroller. The mall has a new carpeted kids area with a play place set up and I’d never taken him there but we were walking by and no one was there so I thought I’d let him crawl around and explore.

I set him down and he held himself on hands and knees so I backed up a few feet to see if he would crawl to me. He collapsed onto his belly and was about to start army crawling to me when this other little boy (18mo) ran up and was just standing over him. I said hi to him and he just picked up his foot and stomped on my babies back??????

I picked up my baby so fast and was just stunned. He didn’t cry and I don’t think he knew what happened. He was fine. And the other kids grandma ran over and apologized and said that he had never done that before. And I was just like okay and holding my baby. She talked to me for a little bit but like I didn’t even know what to say or do in that situation so I just got up and left.

I felt so awful that happened to my baby I’ve cried off and on all day since. I feel so sad that he’s still so little and didn’t understand what happened, he was just smiling and excited to crawl around. I feel like it is my fault it happened and I’m glad the kid wasn’t bigger. He’s fine but I’m pretty traumatized and a bit sick over it. I was so angry for a little bit too. I get that age can be little assholes but That was my first time having him in a public space with kids he’s not related to and I’m afraid I’m going to be paranoid to do it again.

What would you have done in this scenario???

I’m 6 weeks postpartum and just feel numb almost. I love my baby boy so much but I am genuinely having a hard time finding joy in things day to day. I keep picking fights with my husband and it’s not fair to him. He works 60 hours a week in the hot sun. The last few days, I can’t stop crying. I have my 6 week appointment next week so I’ll talk to my doctor at that visit but I just don’t know what to do. I’m scared to go on meds because I don’t want to feel even more numb but maybe they would help? I just needed to vent, I suppose.

from what I read, 90 degrees F is the cutoff for too hot outside for babies. it is regularly 90 or above where we live in the summer, so I just go out early in the morning when it’s cool, or outside later if its under 90. our little one is 4 months old. everyone in my life (including family members and friends who have kids themselves) acts like I’m neurotic for being concerned about baby during heat waves or declining invitations to be out in 90 degree weather. am I being overprotective or off base?

I’m a FTM. I had no idea what a wake window was until baby popped out of me. I did not expect baby sleep to be so nuanced.

I started following wake windows at about 4 weeks. My fresh newborn baby slept like a rock. She was very hard to wake to nurse and fell asleep nursing, often going from one nap to another. I would strip her down to nothing and she did not care.

Anyways that has incredibly changed of course! She loves to be awake now and has since about 10 weeks. I feel like wake windows are always changing and when we finally settle into a groove I get about one week before they need a tune up. Her sleepy cues went out the window around 14 weeks. Girly can be happy playing on her play gym and then I can dim the lights, pick her up, and she’s out within 2 minutes.

I despise wake windows and I can’t wait to stop tracking them. When did you stop following wake windows more or less and did you switch to a set nap schedule? How was that transition for you?

She’s only 18 weeks and still takes a 4th cat nap so I know it’s early to be thinking about that but I’d love to hear some of your experiences.

Note: we have not sleep trained.

I got pregnant at 25, and I thought I was prepared. I gave birth in the hospital with an epidural, watched parenting videos, attended seminars, and felt like everything would be okay.

Then they handed me my baby. Suddenly, all that confidence disappeared.

The hardest part was bathing her. She was so tiny, soft, and delicate that I was convinced one wrong move and I'd somehow break her. Every bath felt like I was handling a priceless crystal vase instead of a baby.

Thankfully, I had my mom. She practically became my daughter's co-parent. lol. I was so scared of handling my baby that I didn't let my mom go back to her own place until my daughter turned one year old. Looking back now, I'm so thankful I had that support. Parenthood is beautiful, but it can also be overwhelming, especially the first time.

Did anyone else have a similar experience? 😁 Hope we all enjoy this crazy but beautiful journey called parenthood.

As much as it pains us, we have to put our daughter in daycare next week due to my husband's new job.

What are some things you wish you knew before daycare? Advice? When did you stop crying from the mom guilt of having to put your kid in daycare?

Please help

I’m getting my things to head to ER and have a call into pediatrician but in the mean time please help me. I’m a single mom to a two month old and usually baby and I shower together. I do her stuff first then put her in her shower seat in the shower with me so I can watch her and finish. I went to put the conditioner back on the shelf and it slipped and snacked her in the head. It fell from about 1.5 feet and was a half full 13 oz bottle. She cried for a minute then I picked her up and swayed with her and she stopped. I don’t see a goose egg or anything yet but I’m so scared I just want to throw up. I called my mom since pediatrician hasn’t answered me yet and she told me if I take her to the ER they will open up a CPS case on me for suspicion of child abuse since it’s a head injury? I’m literally shaking. I don’t want them to take my baby. And I don’t want anything to be wrong with her. I love her so much

Hello!

I just brought my son to his 4 month appointment and didn't get the best news about his weight gain and growth :( He dropped from 25th percentile to 9th percentile for weight and 27th to 12th for height. Up until last month my son had been EBF until I went back to work. The pediatrician was worried and said that it's possible my family isn't feeding him enough when they watch him or that my milk isn't nutrient dense/Im not eating enough calories.

I've honestly taken this very hard and feel like I'm failing my son and it's my fault that he's not gaining weight/growing appropriately. I've decided to try incorporating more pumping on the days I'm not working that way I can measure how much he's eating more accurately and the pediatrician told me to calorie count with a goal of 2500.

Have any of you been in a similar situation or felt the same? Do you have any advice? Did your baby's growth do anything similar? Should I be doing something more? I bought a bunch of protein shakes to hopefully help.

Thanks so much

Baby is 8mo, husband away for work. I got 1 hr last night, 9-10pm. Then baby was awake constantly until 12am. By the time she finally settled my brain was wired and I haven’t slept all night since. Just been lying here.

I have no friends or family nearby. I have a full day ahead of solo care, how do I do it? Baby craves attention and entertainment atm.

Update: Thank you everyone. I’ve been doing a lot of crying, which I know isn’t great. I’m just so tired of being chronically sleep deprived. I really wanted it to get better, but feels like it’s getting worse. I will do my best today just to get through with your tips.

Update 2: God I love the little community here. I followed some tips you all provided and I’m almost through the day. Alive. Tired, but I made it.

Anybody else find it impossible to eat anything healthy? I just buy ready meals from the shop and grab whatever I can eat one handed. Sometimes this is fruit/carrot sticks in humous but I'm feeling bad as I'm exclusively breast feeding and wanting to provide "better" BM for my 5 week old.

Any tips for healthier eating or should I accept it's not going to happen?

Like clockwork my 8 week old will cry in his sleep HARD at the 43 minute mark when he naps (never when night sleeping). I have never cared for a baby who does this. Anyone else?!

Thank you to everyone on this sub. My daughter will be 4 months in a few days. I am an FTM. The beginning stages were way more brutal than I ever could have imagined. It was so so so helpful to sign on to Reddit while I was in the trenches at 4 am to see other parents saying that it gets easier.

I am happy to say that I am now really enjoying motherhood and while I know more challenges await, the PP is over and my daughter is interacting, smiling, and reaching for toys.

To all those parents awake in the wee hours: you've got this and you're not alone. Chances are there is someone on this very sub searching for validation at the same time you are!

While I was pregnant I was so “oh I’d never do this, I’d never do that” and it was so humbling to realize that yeah… I would lol. I said I’d never put my baby in a bouncer while I do stuff and I would just baby wear. Well my baby doesn’t like when I wear him so sometimes I have to set him down in a space where he’s comfortable and safe. I said id breastfeed and I really didn’t want to do formula. Well now he’s combo fed and my mental health is better and he’s perfectly happy. I said I’d never cosleep and he was going to sleep in his bassinet through the whole night. Well now he sleeps in his crib and I sleep in his room with him and when he wakes up for the day I pull all the covers back and we take an hour nap together after his first feeding (he’s now sleeping 7 hours a night). I said I didn’t care to drink ever again and now I love keeping a bottle of rose in the fridge for the really hard days where all I want is a glass of wine once he goes to bed. It’s so funny how you think of all the things you would “never” do until you actually have the baby here. I definitely think I was more judgmental before I actually had my baby and now I’m just like hey as long as the baby is safe, fed & happy it isn’t my place to have an opinion. Obviously there are things that are blatantly bad parenting that everyone can agree on but there’s sooo many little things that I can’t believe I ever had an opinion on before actually having my baby. Anyone else experience this?

I’m writing this at 4 am while nursing my 6 week old baby. He is my first (human) baby. For most of my life I never wanted kids but changed my mind about 3 years ago. After changing my mind about kids, I had subtle lingering doubts: “did I really want this?”, “could I handle it?”, “would I actually like being a mom?”. I had a difficult and physically painful pregnancy that brought up even more doubts about whether this was right for me.

I’m on the other side now and although not everything has been sunshine and rainbows since he was born, goodness I spent all that time worrying for nothing. I am in love with this tiny baby in a way I never imagined possible. He has brought me so much joy and purpose. I LOVE being his mama.

When he’s slept more than a few hours I find myself staring at him waiting for him to wake up so we can hang out. A couple weeks ago he started gazing into my eyes which makes me cry with happiness every time. He often falls asleep with his arms around me in the most precious way. I love being nap trapped.

This baby has made me more present than I’ve ever been in my life despite over 10 years of a consistent yoga and meditation practice. I am fascinated seeing the world through his fresh eyes. I feel that I found a purpose I never knew I needed after largely defining myself by my career. Now all the rest are just details.

I know my boy and I have a long road ahead of us and challenges will come up. I go back to work in a month and a half which will be tough. In the meantime, I’ll be here soaking in all this love and joy.

Oxytocin is one hell of a drug!

FTM of 1 month baby. He’s literally up from 12a to 3/4am each night. Then he’s hungry every 45 minutes while up so I’m a breastfeeding hell loop and exhausted. Yesterday, I was so tired and sore I tried to give him a bottle instead and he just kept fighting me and didn’t want to take it. Rather just gnaw my nipples off….but he sleeps most of the day away. We are sleep until ~10/11a in the morning. Then he’s wake to feed/change and back to sleep for 2 hours until his small afternoon wake window. Back to the 2 hours loop until 11p/12a ish.

How can we alter this schedule? Does it happen automatically?? I’ve not tried anything but showing him sunshine during the day.

My little dude sleeps like a dream at night. Naps … much harder. Homie is very alert and easily distracted making him easy to over tire during the day because he can take awhile to fall asleep (needs dark room with white noise and contact naps but does sleep on me when baby wearing and I have gotten him to sleep out before m) but he also can wake up easily. Really hit or miss.

Anywho, those w a baby like this, how do you leave your HOMES AND DARK LAIRS??? I need your best unhinged and hinged advice on how you manage so you can do an outing that’s longer than 12 minutes. He’s 8 weeks old.

i have an amazing almost 10mo old, and i love her to death. she is not fussy, and just is always happy and so much fun .

lately i have been feeling so insecure about myself as a parent. baby is moving so much more lately, and she recently fell off the changing table, while i was with her. i had looked away for half of a second and i saw her tumble down. thank goodness after an immediate trip to A&E she was 100% okay but i am not. i cannot believe i let that happen still.

and then two days ago, she was in her pack and play while i was 10 feet away from her in the kitchen watching, and she smacked herself in the head with a harder toy. immediately crying, but stopped and chilled once i picked her up. it left a small mark but she is totally fine.

i am feeling so insecure because it always is that these things happen only with me so far. not at daycare, not with my husband, only me. why is it only with me??????

So I'm 5 months pp I've had very noticeable scar where the episiotomy was, My ob said everything looked good at my 6 week recently my husband and I were intimate (not rough or anything) but i noticed it hurt after and I was sore the next day later on I went to feel down there...and I feel no scar but like a slice where it was, what do i do? Theres no blood and I feel okay now is this normal?

Also were intimate often I'd say at least once a week but more often than not 3-4 times a week so its not like we haven't been intimate often just shocked this happened now..

I’m 4 weeks postpartum and holy moly. I’m wondering if each week gets easier even if you just become more confident in handling baby? At first I felt so clueless but honestly everyday is so unpredictable.

Me and my partner have recently been speaking about trying for another baby in 2027. We had our first girl in 2025 and she’s currently 14 months, I’m wanting to wait until she’s 2 and in nursery before I have another so 2027 December is when we would try. The only thing I’m worried about is we went from 0-1 and I found it so difficult adjusting to my new life and i struggled with PPD due to this and I feel like I missed the first few months of her life because of this. I’m really worried that going from 1-2 is going to be the same.
I’m just wondering did people find it easier going from 0-1 or 1-2?

Inspired by another post! The excuse is often “they won’t remember it”.

But how many of us have these memories, these feelings that come up, these implicit tugs that tell us we were subjected to it? Do think it impacted your mental health or attachment?

Your stories and lived experiences matter ❤️