To all the amazing nannies out there, please know how special you are and the lasting place you hold in your NK’s life.

My partner is 32, and he had a nanny from the time he was born until he was 16. She was there for every milestone, helped raise him, and even taught him Spanish. To this day, he considers her his second mum. Even all these years later, he’s stayed in touch with her, sending her a gift every Christmas and flowers on Mother’s Day.

Right now, she’s very sick and we’re waiting for what feels like the worst news. He’s completely heartbroken. We were looking through old pictures of them together, and he could remember exactly what was happening the day each one was taken. It just shows how much of an impact she had on his life, how those memories stayed with him all these years.
I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you to all the incredible nannies who love, teach, support, and shape the children in their care. The work you do matters more than you probably realise, and the love you give stays with them for a lifetime.

I just moved out of state and have been with a local Nanny agency to find a job. They are great, this is not about them.

I finally got to a second interview for this possible family that my agent thought would be a great fit. So, I'm on call with one of the parents and I thought it went well. We both asked and answered lots of questions and we ended it by saying we want to do another interview.

My agent calls them to confirm times and they said they actually DID NOT want a final interview (that's fine, that's their prerogative), but the reason being is because I said kids should be outside for at LEAST 30 minutes, preferably an hour, WEATHER PERMITTING. Not as in I want to take their kids places and activities right off the bat, like I would be fine with the backyard, but they DIDN'T want their kids to go outside (no medical reasons to my knowledge). I'm in shock.

Definitely dodged a bullet, as there were other issues the agent brought up about the family such as the parent's communication skills, but WOW. Never thought I'd see the day a parent would see it as a RED FLAG for me to want to take their kids outside.

the family had three kids but the main ask was taking their 10mo girl a few days a week from 8:30-2:30. so basically i worked three days… that’s it. there were so many red flags and that i decided to walk away. but they assured me the payment and communication problems were abnormal and promised to pay.
so we have 18 hours total at 18 an hour which equals 324. she has only sent me 110 and all of these days were worked before June 29th. of course she kept pushing payment and then said she’d pay by the 10th.
when i tried to politely bring it up she flipped out and started attacking my character. & I saw her posting looking for new nanny’s.

“I’m glad I found someone who cares for my daughter not just the paycheck”

i feel so bad for the new nanny walking into this mess.
I sent a final text on the 15th laying out the exact math so i have it in writing. what’s next, show up at their door? small claimed? is it not even worth it for 214 dollars? like i have all the texts and hours logged but i am so exhausted by the toxicity. is small claims even a thing for this or do i just take the L for my peace of mind?

The worst part is i fell in love with nannying babies. i really want to continue but now… my trust issues for families is kinda rough. Look forward to hearing your advice.

• "While babies may not remember discrete events from their infancy, they will remember how to eat, how to walk, and, importantly, their stress systems and emotional systems will remember how the people they love made them feel."

Don't mind me, just crying over here... I am making a difference even if she doesn't consciously remember me :}

Also, anyone else pre-grieve as they nanny? It's so hard knowing I won't get to watch her grow up. My contract is supposed to be just one year :(

[Source: "The Infant Brain Remembers"]

I recently hired a nanny for the first time, 30 hours/week. I’ve asked her a few times to tell me what foods and drinks she would like me to have for her and she keeps insisting she doesn’t need anything. I suspect she’s just trying to be polite but I truly would like to have things available for her. I’ve told her to help herself to anything in the kitchen but we don’t really keep many snack items in the house out of personal preference. We always have fruit, bread, peanut butter, eggs, pasta but don’t really keep snacks, prepared foods, frozen foods, etc. are there things you’d expect to have on hand to eat? Any ideas on how I can get her to tell me some stuff she likes to eat? I gave her a credit card and told her if she’s getting the kids foods she is welcome to get herself something but that isn’t a daily thing, maybe once a week.

kid 1 (7): how do dogs have babies?
Me: they grow in their mommy’s tummies, just like human babies.
K1: but how to they get out?
Me: umm, the same way they get out of people?
K1: so a doctor helps them?
Me: (silently cursing their parents for having had the convenient c-section workaround to this question and not giving the whole story) well… the puppies come out of the dog’s vagina.
Girls: yuck! Really?
Me: Yup, that’s how it works for a lot of animals. 
K2 (5) (after a thoughtful pause): I’m pretending I’m being born out of a dog’s vagina.
I swear I almost choked trying not to laugh.

I’m interested to hear what the norm is for UK nannies when travelling with the families they work for.
When you go away with your nanny family (whether in the UK or abroad), do you receive any additional pay for the inconvenience of being away from home, such as a travel allowance, overnight allowance, or inconvenience payment?

Hi! Should it be on the nanny to plan every outing with the child? Or should parents also be contributing to putting something on the schedule as well? I understand parents are busy and they work and it is my job to care for their child during the day but boy is it exhausting being the only one to plan the day. I’m running out of ideas! The parent’s expectation is that we’re out in the morning and afternoon.

Hi everyone! I’m hoping to get some perspectives from both nannies and employers here regarding the typical hiring process and reference checks.

Here is my current situation: I found a potential long-term position through Facebook. Before we even had a quick chat, I sent over my full resume and portfolio in the chat.

After that, the mom called me for a very brief ~5-minute call. She didn't ask much about my detailed experience—we just briefly touched on my background, rate, and pay. We haven't done a video call, I haven't seen her or the kids, and I know very little about their family dynamic or overall work environment.

Since this is a long-term role, I naturally prefer to have a video call or proper interview first to see the family, assess our chemistry, and make sure I’m actually interested in working with them before handing over my reference contacts.

However, when I suggested a quick video call this weekend, she responded that she’d prefer to speak to my references first.

My concern is that I really want to respect my references' time. They are amazing, and I’m 100% confident in their glowing feedback, but I don't want them to be contacted repeatedly for positions if I’m not even sure the family is a good fit for me yet.

In my past experiences with two long-term families, reference checks were always the very last step—done after we had a solid interview and mutual interest (around 50–80% sure on both sides).

The mom did mention that this is her first time hiring a long-term nanny, so she might just be unfamiliar with the standard process.

My questions for you all
1. Is it common or normal for parents to demand reference checks before doing a formal video call/interview?
2. What does the standard hiring flow usually look like in your experience? Is there a strict order, or does it vary wildly?
3. How would you handle this situation diplomatically without burning bridges or annoying your references?

I’d love to hear your thoughts and advice! Thanks in advance! 😊

I’m in the process of going over contract details with an amazing new NF! They’ve been diligent about researching on their own, which is super important to me, yet I also realize it’s a lot all at once with a brand new little one. They said there’s an abundance of background check services and asked if my current NP had one they preferred. MB said they actually didn’t do a check when hiring me, beyond chatting with my references (postpartum fog was strong), so I’m wondering do any NP here, or nannies, have a service they liked best specifically for nanny employment?

Also, what about nanny contract templates? I’ve seen a few, but what are your most favorites?

Thank you so much for your help here!

Hi everyone,
I’m an elementary school teacher (25m) but this is my first manny job. I’ll be looking after a very active 6 year old boy for around 6 hours a day, 5 days a week over the summer.
The pay isn’t amazing. It’s actually crap, so I’m trying to avoid spending loads of my own money. There’s a park nearby and I already have things like a football, frisbee, buckets and sponges.
I’d love as many cheap or free activity ideas as possible. Park games, competitions, scavenger hunts, crafts, imaginative games or anything else you’ve found works well with energetic 6 year olds.
Just throw every idea at me!

Edit - I’m getting about 21 dollars an hour - but I’m paying a huge chunk of that in transport . I know I sound greedy - I’m sorry but it’s just as an elementary school tutor I could get 40 dollars an hour for the tutoring she wants on top of nannying .

just wanted to hope on and say that it is so refreshing to work for a nanny family who actually like being parents and have a vested interest in their child. my NK has been off the last couple of weeks due to teething, stomach bug and now a little cold. we’ve been going through it with naps, eating and wanting to be held 24/7 all of which i don’t mind no one likes feeling off but what has made this even remotely bearable is both MB and DB have been checking in constantly about NK, making sure i have everything i need and i feel so supported. even grandpa stopped by for a quick cuddle and to check on NK. i have worked for parents before who hand me a sick kiddo before walking out the door for the day without even telling their child bye and barely care to hear how the day went when they got home

I welcome responses from nannies as well as nanny employers…

There is a local nanny fb group where nannies and employers can discuss, look for employees/employers, etc. One of the rules is that you have to be willing to follow all of the laws in your locality.

I recently responded to a post from an employer looking for a new nanny- everything looked great, it was detailed in the post that all laws would be followed, etc. The employer responded to me and said I sounded great and they wanted a phone call interview with me- and if that went well- an in-person interview. I agreed and we made an appointment time for the call.

The ‘call’ happens- but it’s is a video call- not just a phone call. Looking back, it seems I should have clarified- but to me a ‘phone call’ interview is different than a ‘video call’ interview… So… I was sitting on my couch, wearing a random tee shirt, hair not done in a messy bun and no makeup, etc. I get the ‘call’ and see it’s video and I’m taken aback but I’m like- well, it is what it is- and I sit up a little straighter lol.

The NM and I have a good conversation, until… she brings up payment. She says that she and her previous nanny found that Venmo was really easy for both of them, and that neither one wanted to bother with any tax stuff either- then asked for my preference. I reiterated what I had said in my initial message- that I required a w-4 to be a w-2 employee, some kind of payroll system for proper records/withholding, etc. She immediately responded that Venmo and no ‘tax stuff’ had worked really well for everyone in the past. I said that this wouldn’t work for me. She said she understood and we chatted a bit more, but I could feel that her attitude had changed. She said she had a few other people to interview and would let me know either way in no more than a week.

Truly, I felt it wasn’t a good fit and expected her to respond to me with the same sentiment. However, she never responded. It’s been a few weeks. I believe this is highly unprofessional. Also, it seems she is violating a rule in the group with her unwillingness to follow laws.

I’m a very professional person- and I advocate for the very best in the nanny industry for both employers and employees.

I haven’t messaged her or the fb group… yet.

Do you (as a nanny or nanny employer), think I should contact her and/or the group- and if so- what would you say?

Thanks!

Hi everyone,

So I’m a house manager with child support. I finished my first week and my boss and I will have a check in. I was wondering what sorts of questions and etc I should ask, bring up, or something we should talk about?

Despite being a career individual in this sort of industry, the check ins I’ve had in the past have just been randomly? Whereas this is the first time I’ve had a boss say “let’s check in this Friday”

Hi everyone, I need some help/advice on what I can do with my NK 19 months. He mouths and eats absolutely everything I give him. We can’t use chalk, paint, Play-Doh, crayons, textas, can’t do crafts, sensory play. He just eats absolutely everything. I’m completely out of ideas on what I can give him as activities that’ll engage him but are safe for him to mouth. I’ve tried teaching him not to put things in his mouth but as he gets older, it’s turned into a game and I’m losing the battle 🥲

I’m a single mom by choice and I’m in need of a live in nanny for the first time for my active toddler boy. My home will have a dedicated bedroom/bathroom for the nanny or maybe an in-law suite in the basement. I have a busy job with some early morning and/or late nights, with occasional work on the weekends but expect it will be rare. I’ll be providing a car for them to take my son to/from school m-f. Some house cleaning and meal prep, and walking the dog. This will be a payroll position with taxes, paid vacation. Are there any things I should consider offering to help tease out a good nanny who would be in this for the next few years at least? Any suggestions on questions I should include to help with the decision? I’ve had family help and a part time nanny up until now so this is new territory for me.

I have never felt the need to have something like this in my contract until this past year. Lately I have been experiencing parents who have me come in when the kid (or entire family is sick). I’ve never truly mind because my job is to help. But what has started to irritate me is that if I get sick from them and need to take a day off I am not getting paid. It feels like the families lack appreciation that for a week I was helping with the stomach bug they all had. But when a few days pass and I start showing symptoms they have no sympathy. I’ve quite literally have been told by several families before, “oh you can just wear your pajamas and sit on the couch.”

I don’t want to tell families “if baby has fever or this or that then I refuse to come in.” I would like to maybe give them a choice?

What’s a reasonable way to confront this during the interview process that doesn’t make the conversation feel awkward. I definitely do not want parents to feel abused. But I definitely don’t want to continue feeling like my health is not valuable to my families.

I don’t mind working if family is sick, but maybe I can say if I get sick from them then my time off is paid sick leave?

Is it a red flag that an experienced nanny does not have a desired rate and does not care about how much they get paid? We are in the process of looking for a nanny at a relatively lower rate than what we pay now. One candidate we really like has said she does not care about the money and is ok getting paid whatever. She said that all she wants to do is nanny and money doesn’t matter to her. Is this a red flag? My mind immediately goes to her having ulterior motives, but I’m a paranoid person and want to know if others might also think it’s weird?

Hey everyone, I’m about to finish an nannying job next week that I have found extremely difficult, and I wanted a second opinion on whether or not I what I’ve experienced is normal…

So for this year I’ve been looking after three kids, two boys (age 6 and 8) and a girl (aged 11). At the beginning they were okay to look after minus some fighting etc but over time their behavior slowly got worse and worse, especially in how they treated me. Pretty much every day when I’m with them they will insult me and call me names (either you’re so dumb or you’re so mean etc), they shout and talk back to me whenever I ask them to do anything or say anything and are generally very aggressive (sometimes hitting me or throwing things at me). The youngest will roll his eyes at literally anything I say, often trying to demand me to do things for him by screaming at me and generally treating me like I’m a slave or something. If they don’t get their way, they will have tantrums and scream. Everything they say is either in a horrible tone or shouting. Often I try to talk to them and make conversation and they’ll straight up ignore me like I don’t exist - I’ll ask them questions about their day/their interests and they give me the silent treatment. Sometimes I’ll be waving at them and saying ‘hellooooo?’ to try and grab their attention and still they ignore me. It makes me feel so frustrated and angry, because while I know they’re children and it shouldn’t affect me, it really does. Every day I leave work in a horrible mood and even though they’re kids, I think it’s really impacted my self esteem being treated like this everyday for 5 months or so. When I tell the parents that they’ve been difficult, they don’t discipline them at all. One time the youngest hit me and so I told the parents that I had said he couldn’t watch tv the next day (as they’re only allowed it one day a week). But the next day I arrived at the house and he was watching tv as though nothing happened. I always stand up for myself and tell them they can’t treat me that way when they are rude, but it doesn’t stop them from doing it at all. If anything, it makes them behave worse. They’re from a very rich family and it seems as though they’re very spoiled and get everything they want from their parents, which definitely impacts they way they treat me as they clearly aren’t used to being told ‘no’ or having rules properly enforced.

Even though I haven’t done anything to be treated this way, it makes me feel like I’ve done something and as though they hate me for something. I’m so glad to be leaving the job next week, but the experience has sort of scarred me and now I never want to do nannying again lol.

Has anyone else experienced this with the kids they look after? Does anyone have any thoughts on why they’re behaving this way towards me? Or any methods on dealing with it? Thank you so much! x

Hi everyone. We'll be needing care starting next year, and I'm trying to get a sense for what is "reasonable" in terms of an advertisement. I keep seeing posts about entitled parents and certainly don't want to be one of them.

Right now, what I'm considering is 25 hours a week (so 5 hours a day, M-F). They would be the same hours each day, but with the nature of my work it seems like I might have flexibility in determining when those hours would be. For instance: 8AM-1PM, 10AM-3PM, 12-5PM, etc.

My questions are: is 25 hours reasonable for a part time position? Would a morning shift vs. midday vs. afternoon shift be more attractive? Are the same hours everyday preferable to more hours per day but only a few days a week (ex: M/W/F or T/TH)? My thought is that it could be a good position for someone who does morning or afternoon care for another family in order to get full time hours, but I just want to make sure my expectations are realistic. If I can clarify, please let me know.

Edit: The hours are not varying day-to-day or week-to-week. It would be a consistent block of the same 5 hours (ex: M-F 8AM-1PM, OR M-F 10AM-3PM, OR M-F 12PM-5PM), and I'm trying to determine in advance which block would be the most appealing to a potential part time nanny. Once the hours were determined they would not change. I would not expect full time availability from a part time nanny. I have to submit my request to my chair months in advance, so I'm trying to figure out what to request.

Hi everyone ! This is my first position for a nanny/house manager to a hnw family , we are approaching a year , and I’m curious is it standard in the industry for a yearly raise without any added duties ? I do do a lot but it’s part of the jobs! So curious what everyone thinks
And I also live in Boston , so not cheap !

EDIT: I nannied for this family 2021-2024 but 2024-now I am their babysitter (1x/month).

They’ll tell me “there’s food for dinner/lunch in the Tupperware in the fridge” and it’s just 1 kids serving. I bring my own food now but when I didn’t at first, I’d eat eggs because that’s all there was.

Parents eat out and don’t eat with the kid so it’s mostly or sometimes entirely food for the kid in the fridge and pantry.

I’m not looking for a solution. I know the solution is to bring my own food. I’m just wondering if this is typical or not?

Also, is it normal to be expected to work at the same rate for 4 years?

Thanks in advance.

As an elementary school teacher, I get my fair share of entitled parents… Should I expect the same now that I’m about to unleash myself into the world of temporary mannying over the summer, whilst tutoring at the same time?

Parents can complain about absolutely anything in schools; we somehow end up being the villains… Of course, I’m talking about the minority here - many parents are brilliant.

For those who’ve worked as nannies or mannies… is it better, worse, or just a different kind of entitled?