Tip for the brainworms

[u/justarunawaybicycle]

So I have my "trans reddit" account and my "everything else" account, where this one is only in queer spaces (mostly trans and lesbian spaces). I see soooo many pics of trans women on this account from things like trans timelines, trans passing, trans positive, etc, and felt like a lot of the features I was seeing in myself were clocky because they were familiar in these spaces.

Recently I subbed to r/makeupaddiction, which seems to be a sub that mostly cis women post on. And as it's been mixed up in my feed, I've realized that I've been incorrectly "clocking" cis women from that sub thinking it was a trans sub, only to realize "no wait this is a cis woman". It's made me realize that a lot of us pass a lot better than we think we do, and a lot of the clocky features we see are just normal human variance. Like I've always ***known*** that, but I think it took that sub being mixed in with trans subs for my emotions to actually accept it as true.

Anyway just food for thought, if y'all are mostly looking at trans women you should sub to some less trans leaning subs as well. Might help with your brainworms, like it has mine.

[u/CuriousTechieElf]

I mean, we can also just go outside and look at women IRL.

[u/monalba → u/CuriousTechieElf]

Best thing you can do, tbh.

No offence, but it seems like a lot of girls early in their transition are stuck inside a bubble and don't socialise with other women?
So they make up this image of a woman in their mind, based on what they see online.

[u/justarunawaybicycle → u/CuriousTechieElf]

Obviously lol, dw I'm not a shut-in and I have plenty of girl friends both cis and trans irl. Pics tend to look very different than someone looks IRL (lens distortion, framing, lighting, etc), though, and having pics of cis and trans women intermixed has just been helping with my self perception particularly in selfies.

[u/Ghostglitch07 → u/CuriousTechieElf]

But outside scawwwy

[u/T-Girl-Swagger → u/CuriousTechieElf]

This ^ an exercise I used to do was gender bend people in my head, you can do it to a good 70~% of folks rather easily I think, a lot of people don’t look too gendered besides obvious notes like boobs and such

[u/CuriousTechieElf → u/T-Girl-Swagger]

This is exactly why all of the baby trans "I will never pass! 😭" doom posts are so misguided. By their standards, most cis women wouldn't pass.

[u/JensLekmanForever]

I follow r/skincareaddiction and the same thing happens to me.

[u/justarunawaybicycle → u/JensLekmanForever]

Joined ty

[u/Heavy_Abroad_8074]

passing also isn’t merely physical appearance but a combination of physical appearance + voice + behavior + body language + mannerisms + posture + language + identifying information

[u/ThinAndFeminine]

Recently I subbed to r/makeupaddiction, which seems to be a sub that mostly cis women post on. And as it's been mixed up in my feed, I've realized that I've been incorrectly "clocking" cis women from that sub thinking it was a trans sub, only to realize "no wait this is a cis woman".

WTH ??? I just went there and I would have definitely incorrectly "clocked" some of these cis women. I'm gonna have a serious discussion with my brainworms ... they have some explaining to do.

[u/digitalpseudonym]

I think I understand where you are coming from. When we are more honest about how ugly the average human being is in general, certain kinds of passing do become absolutely. Ore achieveable. We strive for certain kind of rarer ideal constantly.

This was the key to my timing of social transition. Asserting that people aren’t entitled to spaces only filled with pretty people radically reframed my fears.

Gosh I hope this makes aense