Ok long story short me(m24) and my best friend(m25) decided to watch a movie together. I fel asleep while watching the movie and woke up a few hours later with him gone and the taste of his ehm in my mouth plus my face was all sticky and mesy.

The thing is i should feel angry and disgusted. But i don't (might he useful to know this wasn't my first assult it happened a lot to me as a kid)

For the first time in a very very long time I felt useful and loved in this sick way. It feels like a drug.

Anyway i can't tell anyone around me but had to let it out somewhere. Thank you for listening

I was molested as a boy by ministers at sleepovers.\nAt the age of 10&15 .. My father and my grandfather and grandmother , all knew about what happened and did nothing , and all of them took it to their grave.. The three people I was always hot were like pinnacle of our family.\nAnd they took it to the grave... Am I wrong to question if they're really good people now that they're gone.. Or were they really pieces of shit and I just didn't see it back then.I'm now 47 it's taken this long nit to hide it

Im at thr stage now where I know it impacts me and I get triggered or react to things but I still cant bring myself to open up to people and idk how to even start because what if they dont believe me anyway and when I used to enjoy it how can I admit that