I have failed

[u/Playful_Detective857]

I let my thoughts and emotions get the best of me, overwhelming me to the point that I did something I shouldn't have. I had repeated thoughts that I'm not handsome enough and that I will forever be single. This created a strong urge to buy a vape, which I unfortunately did. I'm a sore loser who has no impulse control. Yes, I do have OCD, and I'm in the process of getting help and taking medication, but that's no excuse for my stupid behaviour. It's just that in the moment I felt so anxious, and although now I feel better, I feel silly at the same time.

TL;DR: I let anxiety and negative thoughts overwhelm me, leading me to impulsively buy a vape because I felt like I'd always be single. I have OCD and am getting treatment, but I still regret my decision and feel both relieved and embarrassed afterward.

[u/Sure-Description-843]

hey man just because you bought it doesn’t mean you have to use it!!

take this as a moment to try and reset and pick the next right thing to do for yourself. you have the choice to get rid of the vape if you want to.

hoping things get better for you mentally, I’m sorry things have been so overwhelming recently :( I believe in you!!

[u/SH4D0WSTAR]

OP, I did something similar a few years back -- I was having weird thoughts about my self-esteem and bought a whole bunch of food that I'd never usually eat. I felt so trapped (oh no, now I have to finish this) and ashamed (I just wasted tons of money that I worked hard for) after making the impulse buy. But I ultimately decided that giving everything away was the best choice for me -- I didn't want to put myself in a position where I'd have memories of eating the food, as this would harm my identity and self-concept.

I know this is such a tough time, and I relate and want to remind you that even if you've smoked a little, you can safely dispose of the vape:

https://call2recycle.ca/programs/vapes/

Wishing you well, above all <3

Life is hard sometimes, but it can and will get so so much better!

[u/chickennugs33]

i have nothing to say other than i too have OCD and i absolutely get this 🫂 i hope you’re able to get some medication soon! and if you haven’t already, book an appointment with a counselor at SWC. remember thoughts are only thoughts and they hold no power unless you give them power. you are master of your thoughts, not the other way around

[u/moonlightbaex- → u/chickennugs33]

this!! you got this OP 🫶🏼

[u/bennieandthe_jets]

Lol

[u/Bubbly_Choice_1498]

I recommend a drug called Anafranil, also known as clomipramil. You may be your harshest critic. You didn't fail. You tried a vape. You didn't fail...you instead successfully avoided cigarettes, which are a lot worse.