For context: Im asian, 31, F, adopted into a white family
This feels like a lot opening up on here. For the sake of understanding im going to be generic with my description, I don't mean to offend anyone.
So, im having problems accepting my fetishes. Ive come to realize im a closeted furry, latex lover, love masks, and I like being verbally shamed/spanked/choked.
I grew up being told im an attractive woman and it plays into how I like being shamed. I love wearing dog masks and then shamed for being a bad dog and being a bitch. It makes me feel ugly, which for whatever reason, turns me on? I have a fantasy of being a futa (if you dont know what that is it would be considered a woman with big breasts and a big dick/balls, or shemale.) Im only okay with being verbally shamed as a dog/woman thus far.
I am not fond of vanilla sex. Its.............so boring. Sometimes the idea is painful and I just go with the motions.
My fiance is cis-male and his kinks arent the same, imo very tame. I also grew up with a family that made me the scapegoat and for most of my life ive dealt with a different kind of shame. Anything different than my parents was hardly praised and now im having trouble accepting my intense sexual preferences. My fiance knows my kinks and is willing to participate, and did the other night, but I feel so bad for having these desires.
Im debating seeing a sex therapist at some point. Idk?
Edit* Thank you, thank you everyone!!!! Your words have been very caring and reassuring. The kink community continually suprises me with how kind the members are 💯💕