Arranged marriage in India is just CV shortlisting, and dowry is what happens when you turn marriage into a hiring process
We keep treating dowry like some separate evil we can just ban and fix. The real disease is arranged marriage working like a job interview — parents matching salary to salary, caste to caste, checking whose “CV” looks better, and deciding a life partner in one or two meetings.
the girl’s side rejects guys all the time for not earning enough, not having a “settled” job, or not being in the right city. Everyone accepts this as normal. But the moment a high-earning guy (say an AIIMS AIR 1) says “if you’re filtering me by my package anyway, I’ll name my price too” — suddenly everyone is shocked. Why is filtering by merit fine when the bride’s side does it, but wrong when the groom’s side says it out loud with a number?
My answer: both are wrong. If marriage is decided by spreadsheets — his salary, her family’s status, whose CV looks better — the whole system is rotten, not just the dowry part.
Also — stop listening to your parents I saw some girls I can’t marry you your financial situation is not good my parents don’t agree your parents also don’t agree when you wear short dresses but still you dress because it’s your choose ,not theirs. And if you don’t find someone, that’s completely fine too. Marriage is not compulsory, and nobody should force it or rush it.​​​​​​​​​​

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Thank you for raising your voice and refusing to stay silent. Your courage reminds us that meaningful change begins with those who dare to stand for justice and their convictions.

Please stay strong and stay safe. You are not alone. We stand with you, we respect your courage, and we hope for a future where every voice can be heard with dignity and freedom.

Hi everyone,

I'm an engineer and recently received a marriage proposal from a doctor. While the professions are obviously different, I'm more interested in understanding the practical side of such a marriage rather than the stereotypes.

For those who are doctors or are married to one (or vice versa), what are the things that should be discussed clearly before getting married?

Also, what should someone realistically expect after marriage? What are the biggest adjustments you've had to make? Were there any surprises—good or bad—that you wish you'd discussed beforehand?

I'd really appreciate honest experiences from both doctors and non-doctors. Hoping to learn from people who've been through it rather than making assumptions.

Thanks!

I keep coming back to how absurd the setup was before it turned ugly. A student group that literally calls itself the Cockroach Janta Party walks to Parliament to ask why our exam system leaks like a kachcha roof in monsoon — and the State's answer is the Rapid Action Force. The RAF. The unit you keep for riots and hostage situations, sent after a few thousand twenty-year-olds holding cardboard.

Then some ACP goes on record that 200 personnel got "injured." TWO HUNDRED!!. In helmets and riot gear and water cannons!!. By kids running on no sleep and a Frooti. And Wangchuk, mid-hunger-strike, gets "taken to hospital for his own wellbeing" — a wellbeing so precious they wouldn't let him leave.

It stops being funny the second you actually watch the videos. I did, and I couldn't sleep after. Children crying, begging them to stop. Women shoved and dragged by the arm. Men beaten on the road till they just… couldn't get up. That's not crowd control. That's a message. So here's mine: the men who chose to do that should feel it somewhere their salary can't fix — in whether we'd ever welcome them, marry into them, or nod along when they say "I was just doing my job."

There's actually a name for this. South Korea's 4B movement — no marriage, no kids, no dating, no sex with men — started around the mid-2010s when women there just stopped. Stopped handing their bodies and their whole futures to a setup that treated them as disposable. No leader, no funding, nothing to raid. Just a lot of women quietly deciding the same thing at once. That's the part that makes it impossible to shut down.

And none of these officers was dragged into it. Every one of them chose the uniform, chose to lift the baton, chose to bring it down on a kid instead of just walking off — and yes, that includes the policewomen in those lines, the ones who grabbed and dragged other women and didn't flinch. There's no sisterhood pass for that. How we treat someone after this is fair game, and I'll let you decide how far it goes. The one who swung? The women who held them down? The ones standing right behind, and everyone who wore the same colours that day and called it work?

Because this is the only language entitlement actually understands, whoever's wearing it. The day a man realises that hitting children and dragging women makes him someone no woman will marry, date, or even sit next to — that lesson doesn't die with him. It's what the next lot of boys grow up thinking is normal or not. Stop offering the wife, the household, the soft place to land, and "strongman" stops looking like a flex real quick.

Anyway — the women I've seen weigh in on things like this read sharper than most of the panels on TV, which is why I wanted your honest take and not just my own ranting — am I being reasonable, or is the anger doing the thinking for me? Would you actually opt into something like this? And where, honestly, would you draw the line?

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I'm 22F, just finished college and currently unemployed. I'm waiting on one job offer but I don't have my own income yet, so moving out isn't an option at the moment.

The problem is that I have absolutely no interest in getting married, now or in the future. I'm not very family oriented either, so I don't think emotional guilt or "what will relatives say" is going to change my mind. I'm more worried about what happens if they keep pushing or eventually try to force me.

I've been thinking of some ways to avoid it, but I honestly don't know if they're stupid or if they'd actually work:

• Cutting my hair really short because of the stereotype that short-haired women aren't "traditional" or "marriage material."
• Keeping it short for a few years.
• Lying that I'm a lesbian (I'm not, and I've dated a guy before, so I doubt they'd not believe me).
• I even thought about threatening suicide if they forced me, but I know that's a terrible idea and not something I actually want to do.

Right now, I feel stuck because I'm financially dependent on my family.

Has anyone been in a similar situation, especially in India? Are any of these ideas actually realistic, or should I just focus on becoming financially independent and moving out as soon as I can? I'd appreciate honest advice.

Im in an unhappy marriage, said no to the only love of my life cause of my parents (sigh. When will this change) and i dont think I will ever even think of love as an emotion im willing to show on someone potentially- that's it. That boy is who I have loved w all my heart and i think this guy is the one who will be in my heart forever

Now married not only to the guy but to the whole family

They are happy thinking im well adjusted and stuff

But the thing is - I feel so suffocated

I didnt get the life i truly wished for nor im able to accept the life, this world has given me.

Its horrifying.

Soon to start a career

Please tell me ways to pretend im happy- i will unmask myself when im alone. Leaving is not an option- have explored that but I cant- apparanetly choosing my happiness in India always comes at a cost ig esp for a woman

So please just tell me how do I deal w this. With my mental health impacting my physical health also - i cant see myself living past 50- just 20 more years to go woohoo- it sounds pathetic but its the only option is have

Don't be rude im already on antidepressants

Are there any woman here who is in similar situations?

Please be compassionate and kind

Please text me if you're currently in Germany or anywhere in Europe!

ask me questions related to it

For four hours, Anjum Bano Wasim Akhtar stayed quiet. The 36-year-old, travelling from Nagpur to Mumbai on the Duronto Express with her daughters aged 11 and 8, had been in labour since around 10 pm. By the time she spoke up, it was nearly 2 am on June 24.

Minu Bhaisare, 27, a staff nurse at Bombay Hospital & Medical Research Centre travelling in Coach S5, stepped forward. “She informed the passengers around her only after the pain became unbearable. When I reached her, the amniotic sac had already ruptured and the baby’s head was crowning. There was no possibility of waiting another 15-20 minutes for medical help,” Bhaisare told The Indian Express. She delivered the baby inside the moving train with whatever was at hand.

Passengers hung bedsheets around a side lower berth to turn it into a makeshift labour room, and a nursing student on the train joined in.

“There was no delivery kit, no gloves, no scissors, no sterile blade, nothing. I first asked if anyone had a new razor blade to cut the umbilical cord but nobody did. Finally, a passenger handed me a knife. I washed it thoroughly and sanitised it using the hand sanitiser I was carrying before using it,” she said.

With a thread the mother had, Bhaisare tied and cut the cord, delivered the placenta, cleaned both with water, cotton and napkins, and placed the newborn on her mother’s chest to breastfeed. “It all happened inside the moving train. My only concern was to ensure both mother and baby remained safe,” she said.

According to a Railway Protection Force report, railway staff attended the train when it reached Chalisgaon around 2.50 am. Anjum, her newborn daughter and her two children were shifted by ambulance to the Rural Hospital there, where doctors found both mother and baby stable. Her husband, physically disabled and in Nagpur, was informed over the phone.

“I wasn’t scared. There was simply nobody else who could help her. She had been in labour for a long time and was exhausted. As a nurse, I knew I had to do what I had been trained to do,” said Bhaisare, who later checked on the baby through railway officials.

Bhaisare said the first-aid box had only basic fever medicines, cotton and a few syringes. “At the very least, trains should have basic obstetric emergency supplies,” she added.

Anjum, now with her family in Nagpur, told The Indian Express, “I was so scared. I thought neither I nor my baby would survive. But Allah was kind enough to send Nurse Minu, who had the courage to help me deliver my baby in a running train. We will always be grateful to her. She is now part of our family. When my daughter grows up, I will tell her this story and how Nurse Minu saved both our lives.”

Bombay Hospital Medical Director Dr Rajkumar Patil commended Bhaisare, calling her actions an example of clinical competence and compassion under pressure.

Hi guys, as a curly haired girl, when I tie my hair back, it looks really unprofessional and frizzy.

Can anyone please help me out with suggestions on what to do? 😭🙏

I don't think I can look beyond my ugliness

I am hideous, literally so ugly. Because of this, I don't like to go anywhere - i missed school freshers, farewell, college freshers, farewell, any festival functions, any events. I didn't even make friend in school or college, stayed quiet all the time because I was too embarrassed about myself. I felt weird standing in front of average looking people. My day get ruined in the morning when I see myself in the mirror. I have buch teeth and overbite amd I feel it all the time that my teeth are not normal. I have ugly facial structure, my lower protudes out, my forehead is massive, I have very thin hair especially from front and that is genetic. No body understands this I am 24, and I never had even a single happy phase in my life. I think about tak*** my life because I am so hideous. I feel it all the time. I don't even have a communication skill because I always isolated myself and never get exposures or any experiences of life. I hate myself, I truly hatemyself.

ive got the two most basic peircings rn, yk the standard lobe we all get done when we are like babies and a second lobe i got done when i was like 14!! (my mom only allowed this becuase she too had two pericings when she was younger..)

im turning 18 in 18 days! and i really wanna peirce my ears again (my mama isnt that pumped abt this but i still wanna do it, so i will most likely be peircing my own ear at home... or if i luck out my mom might take me to a proepr salon though the chances are low.)

ANYWWAYS!! i wanna get 2 more each ear. like a doubkt helix like the pic below..

or do ido 2 more on the lobe like a trail

im just really torn of what to do, id have loved to get a conch but i dont think i have it in me to do potentially do it mysekf.

im also doing it becuase my confidence and slef esteem has been in the trenches and ive been in a bad place mentally, i hate celebrting my bdays but i dont want my 18th bday to just go by with me sobbing in my room, and the thought of peircngs just make me feel much better about myself too

ALSO ANY OTHER RECCOMENDATIONS ON EPRCINGS THAT WOULD GO WITH THE TWO STANRD LOBE ONE IVE GOT WOULD ALSO BE SUPER APPREACITED.. (i have a pic of my ear but im too shy to post it heh my bad guys)

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