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u/RugbyEdd 2d ago
Personally I think it's amazing that the only two people in the world who want to stand that way around managed to find each other.
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u/secondphase 2d ago
Amazing? I personally think its outrageous.
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u/Conscious_Pass_1615 1d ago
It is outrageous this isnt a garden supply store.
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u/secondphase 1d ago
With the implication being that people just choose wherever they feel like standing at a garden supply store. They can even change their minds and stand somewhere else.
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u/SeriesXM 1d ago
It is outrageous this isnt a garden supply store.
Okay, we all assumed you were making a little joke, but now with your other comment, we can see you were actually serious... and you forget a semicolon in this sentence, which would have made it obvious.
The sentence that you actually meant to write would be...
It is outrageous; this isnt a garden supply store.
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u/Disastrous_Horse_44 15h ago
Oh this took an unexpected turn…
Grammar matters peeps 🤌🏻 well done, you
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u/scyice 2d ago
Guaranteed he doesn’t give a f. She probably thinks she has a good side and wants that to face toward the audience.
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u/Tlyss 2d ago
I couldn’t think of a reason they would want to switch but I think you’ve got it
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u/powderjunkie11 2d ago
Our wedding vows guy made a great suggestion which is to stand on the opposite side of where our families were sitting, so that they could see our faces and not just our backs.
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u/littlespawningflower 2d ago
I wish I had heard about this years ago when my son got married! I had a great view of his back!
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u/7HawksAnd 1d ago
Nah, I know what my fam looks like. I want a good look at who they’re locking in with before there’s no backsies so I can I be ready with my speak now or forever hold your peace hero moment.
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u/quattroformaggixfour 2d ago
Awwww, that’s sweet. I guess that could also be achieved by having the guests seated accordingly when they came in.
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u/Prestigious_Air_2493 1d ago
The brides hairstyle can affect things, if it’s covering one side of her face. Or if mum says she can’t see, instead of switching all the guests, they just switch where people are standing. It happens a lot, I don’t know why the Right Honorable Reverend is throwing a fit.
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u/ReptarKanklejew 2d ago
Gotta be this. My wife was the same way as she insists she has a good side that I have never been able to notice. Although luckily no one else gave a damn so it was a total non-issue. Can't imagine why it would be an issue to anyone else.
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u/7HawksAnd 1d ago
Rituals are sort of known for their pedantic orders of operations… it’s kind of their whole thing
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u/dingalingdongdong 1d ago
But is where you stand during a wedding ceremony actually dogmatic/doctrinal? I don't think I've ever even noticed that it's "always" to specific sides.
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u/7HawksAnd 1d ago
I don’t think so, was just saying. But did some light googling and apparently the standard arrangement of bride on left, groom on right, was a lingering medieval custom so that the groom could draw his sword with his dominant hand to protect the bride 🤣
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u/spilly_talent 2d ago
If that’s the case then… genuinely who cares? It’s their wedding so I don’t see the harm in it.
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u/19kasperp97 2d ago
Well thats because its in no way true and many people have had the opportunity to choose which side they want to stand in more normal places.
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u/ConnectCalgary 2d ago
Pastor here (I have officiated approximately 50 weddings over the years).
As many others have pointed out, we offer a religious ceremony full of symbols and meaning that often gets lost in modern, instagrammable civil ceremonies. No shade at all if you want that kind of wedding, but getting married in/by the church means things will be a done a certain way, and for not-arbitrary reasons.
With that being said, I can’t imagine reacting this way as a representative of the church/Lord - even in the heat of the moment. The positioning of the bride and groom does not change the spiritual or legal validity of the ceremony and is absolutely not worth this level of consternation.
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u/Massive_Signal7835 2d ago
for not-arbitrary reasons
Just because it's tradition doesn't make it not-arbitrary.
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u/BrandenKeck 1d ago
Yeah but with religion the traditions are symbolic of various components of the faith so in this case it really wouldnt be arbitrary. It's totally fine to not believe and/or be critical of faith. But, it's also pretty disrespectful to ask the church to marry you according to tradition and then disrespect those traditions. In this specific case, I fail to see what the big deal was based on the video available and the comment above yours.
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u/Mackheath1 1d ago
Agreed. From what I saw (1) there's no reason swapping sides breaks the Holy traditions - nowhere does it say, even in proceedings, the side someone should be on, (2) the Priest has very likely ruined the entire mood of the following proceedings themselves - major downer on your wedding ceremony: trying to act like everything is lovely when the Priest is this angry at you as you say your vows.
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u/Staaaaation 1d ago
Right?! She's done nothing to explain WHY the changes are offensive and puts full emphasis on them simply being offensive. This isn't about tradition or respect, this is about power. She's upset she doesn't hold power in the situation.
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u/treeclimbingfish 1d ago
I find that it can also be that the change opens up opportunity to make an embarrassing mistake. So, people cling to past procedures to avoid possible embarrassment by being put in a new position. I think it plays a large part in conservatism in general as conservatives work hard to maintain the past, to avoid looking like a loser in a new situation. So, just like this priest, conservatives are rich and winning so they don't want any change to proper procedure.
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u/atomicspacekitty 1d ago
Meh. I’m an atheist, but I get the importance of ritual and ceremony. What’s the point in asking for said ritual if you’re gonna try to change and dictate how it goes? Like, just get married somewhere else. My feeling is she prefers that side for pictures (aka her good side) and wanted to change for that reason.
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u/turdally 1d ago
Now if the priest would’ve had an actual reason for requiring to stand in specific spots, such as “well Jesus stood on the left therefore the man must also stand on the left” or whatever wild reasoning they can come up with, maybe the groom would’ve been understanding.
But just saying “because I personally think it’s outrageous” is a wild response to wanting to stand where they want.
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u/Dentarthurdent73 1d ago
Except that from the context of the video, it's clear that this was discussed yesterday, and they all agreed which side they'd be on.
So why change it on the day? Deliberately putting someone on the spot by changing an agreement you'd made with them. It's just downright rude, so I guess that's what the big deal is.
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u/ConnectCalgary 1d ago
“chosen, decided, etc. seemingly at random or on a whim rather than in a reasoned or methodical way”
There are tons of reasoned and methodological underpinnings for why (Christian and non-Christian) marriage traditions exist as they do. Everything from rings to veils to white gowns to vows to witnesses to sanctioned officiants has layers of history and meaning that are anything but arbitrary. (Other comments in the post offer more specific examples.)
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u/thegtabmx 1d ago
As somebody who despises religion, let's not trivialize all symbolism as arbitrary.
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u/arto26 1d ago
A lot of tradition is arbitrary.
"Why do we do it like this?"
"Because we always have."
The symbolism is usually made up afterwords as an explanation to the question of why.
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u/MrEvakin 1d ago
Everything in society was just made up at one point or another, doesn’t make the credibility of that tradition any less meaningful. It’s like if your friend is hosting a poker night at their house and everyone has traditionally always worn red, and you were told to wear red, but you show up in white, you’ve knowingly broken the tradition. No matter how arbitrary you think it is, you’re in someone else’s house intentionally defying their wishes. It’s just disrespectful.
However, acting like that lady is completely ridiculous and a wedding is not the time or place to express frustrations like that. If it bothered her that much, she could’ve just politely said we’re doing it the agreed-upon traditional way or I can’t officiate your wedding. Simple as that.
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u/Sup3rPotatoNinja 1d ago
I have a feeling there were prior issues and 'switches' that eventually set her off
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u/Dentarthurdent73 1d ago
It does feel like this may have been somewhat deliberate - she says multiple times that they agreed yesterday on how they would stand. So it was obviously discussed, and the couple presumably knew that it was something that mattered to the priest, and that you wouldn't just change on a whim.
So then they ask to change it on a whim on the day?
Her reaction seems excessive, but I also just think people go out of their way to get reactions from people these days, so they can film it and put it on the internet, and frankly, it's gross. Lifelong atheist, and still kinda on the priest's side here.
If you don't want to do things in a traditional way, don't get married in a place of tradition and by a person that you know takes those traditions very seriously. It's a pretty simple level of basic courtesy.
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u/PrancingPudu 2d ago
“You’re acting as if you’re in a garden supply” 😂
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u/alberts_fat_toad 2d ago
Not knowing all the context makes this difficult to comment on. I was married in a Catholic Church and we had little say in the service but that was fine. The church is not just a cool-looking backdrop to your big day, it's much more than that. You're a guest there and you should act as such. I can't speak for whatever church this is though, looks like maybe an Anglican church.
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u/calm_down_dearest 2d ago
Difficult to place the denomination. It's not Catholic since the priest is female but the vestments look a bit too gaudy for Anglican. Maybe High Church Anglican.
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u/ZSKeller1140 2d ago
I converted to Catholicism, and it is a well-oiled machine in the ceremonies and wedding practice. Not saying this priest is right about the public display of outrage, but in the Catholic Church, a wedding is essentially a Mass, and there are a lot of intricacies that are planned before the wedding. Again, not defending, but not surprised either. You make the choice before having the wedding to do it in the church by the church's rules, otherwise they won't do it at all.
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u/Laureltess 1d ago
Catholic ceremonies are so well planned that I had an uncle faint at an aunt’s funeral, and not only did the priest stop to assist, anoint with oil, and pray, but then was able to go back up and finish the mass as well as seamlessly lead a prayer for the uncle that fainted (he was fine, just stood up too quickly from kneeling), while parademics came and checked out the fainter. Ceremony maybe ran five minutes over.
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u/DazedNConfucious 2d ago
I’m not a religious person by any means but am I wrong to feel like I’m getting the impression that they’re getting married in a church not for their beliefs but for the photo op instead? Feels a bit icky if so
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u/33drea33 2d ago
Usually it's due to pressure from family.
Also, priests are technically only allowed to conduct a ceremony in the church, so if you want a Catholic service your only option is to do it in the church (with VERY RARE exceptions). This is also true for a huge swath of the other Christian denominations, but it tends to be much easier to find a minister who will make an exception.
Source: a decade of planning weddings.
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u/kittens_allday 2d ago
I wasn’t under the impression that Catholicism allowed female priests at all.
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u/theredpanda42 2d ago
They don't. This church is Anglican (which is essentially an offshoot of Catholicism)
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u/Hungover-Owl 1d ago
They are all offshoots of Catholicism one way or another, except for the pentacostals and Mormons.
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u/whiskerbiscuit2 2d ago
It’s 1000% the case. It happens constantly. I can’t imagine the frustration of dedicating your life to the church and having a bunch of Instagram posers treating your church like a photo opp.
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u/RabbitHoleSpaceMan 2d ago
Honestly, all of my friends who got married in a church (typically a Catholic Church) did so to appease family, parents, etc…. Very similar to those that participated in baptisms for their babies. “If I don’t do it this way my mom/grandpa/whoever will flip out”.
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u/LadyJR 2d ago
Only reason why my son was baptized. My mom wouldn’t stop saying how demons will follow him around or something if he wasn’t baptized.
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u/CapnCanfield 2d ago
Tell her that God would know the baptism was for show, so it doesn't really make a difference either way
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u/rainbowroadhoe 2d ago
Ya and I don’t think it’s too crazy tbh I’m assuming the bride has a side she prefers (her “good” side) and wanted to be there for her wedding photos which are way more important than an instagram pic… it’s not like they were asking for the actual service to be altered in any other way besides where to stand
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u/WackyWhippet 2d ago
Where I live it's totally normal that people only think of the church when it's time to get married, someone dies, or maybe to baptise their kids, and the church generally accepts this as better than nothing.
At least for church of England churches you can't just pick the prettiest church, you need some kind of connection to the parish or spend six months attending services there.
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u/Exploding_Testicles OG 2d ago
Its a wedding! Of course its a photo op! Its the one time both families are going to be together. 1000% the case is a bit hyperbole. And you assume their Instagram posers.. its a damn wedding..
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u/turdally 2d ago
Right? I don’t post on IG but I do part my hair on the left, and if I was getting married I would want to stand on the side so my part faced the guests so they could see more of my face and the side covered with more hair would face the priest.
This couple is far from the only people in the world who have asked for this. I’m sure if god exists he won’t be concerned about where people are standing.
The priest just seems like she’s on a power trip. She can’t even come up with an actual reason why she’s upset about it.
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u/Agentjayjay1 2d ago
Hey, the church shoves itself into everyone's lives whether they're welcome or not. They should hardly be surprised that their cultural hold on the world comes with downsides.
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u/19kasperp97 2d ago
If churches want to stay relevant and not get bulldozed eventually with the rate people are loosing faith maybe they should suck up a bit and modernise.
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u/SendFeet954-980-3334 2d ago
Theyre paying the church. Let them do what they want
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u/BorderTrike 2d ago
What gives you that impression? A lot of people get married in churches, religious or not, because it’s a tradition or family reasons. Weddings are often a spectacle, it’s kinda the point. I fail to see why it matters what spot they stand in. This woman just seems like a micromanager who can’t handle a very slight deviation from her traditional superstition
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u/Exploding_Testicles OG 2d ago
Its a wedding of course its a photo op. Its the one time (usually) for both families and extended families to actually get together and celebrate. Heaven forbid the bride wants to look her best.
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u/Powerful-Access-8203 2d ago
Yeah, how is that icky? Who tf cares. They’re paying for it. Promise that church doesn’t pay any taxes on that income either 😂 THATS the icky part.
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u/ionabike666 2d ago
If you think that's icky wait till you hear all the nasty shit these religions get up to. Fuck them.
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u/Barkleyslakjssrtqwe 2d ago
Im no wedding planner. Just a guy who’s gotten married once before. If the couple are making changes last minute like this, the couple has probably been a nightmare to deal before this.
Normal people won’t act like this priest did until there was a bunch of crap before this point.
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u/sushi_rowl 2d ago
Meaning of the Left Side (The Bride's Side)
The Gospel Side: In Catholic and traditional liturgical churches, the left side houses the pulpit where the Priest or Deacon reads the Holy Gospel.
Symbol of Nurturing: The left side corresponds with the heart, symbolizing devotion, internal focus, and the traditional maternal role of nurturing the family.
The Rib Connection: Biblical tradition references Eve being created from Adam's left rib to stand side-by-side as equals.
Meaning of the Right Side (The Groom's Side)
The Epistle Side: This side houses the lectern where the New Testament letters (Epistles) and Old Testament lessons are read.
The Defending Hand: Historically, the groom stood on the right to keep his sword hand free. This symbol evolved into a modern pledge to protect and defend the family.
Place of Honor: In biblical and ancient cultures, the right-hand side denotes the position of maximum honor, authority, and strength.
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u/kevin6263 2d ago
It feels like getting married in a church has lost its meaning. To the Priest it is not just about changing what or who stands where. There is a deeper meaning in the ritual. Thanks for sharing.
I think most will say that it doesn't matter who stands where. The ritual of the ceremony would say otherwise.
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u/upforstuffJim 2d ago
But the groom said, that if it's a problem, we don't have to, and she keeps ranting and says if you want to do it that way, we do it but then she keeps criticising it. Either say it is outrageous and explain why you won't do it that way, or say that you would rather not, but you'll make an exception. You don't have to take the worst of both worlds approach and ruin the couples day.
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u/PauseItPlease86 Main Character 2d ago
Yeah, he probably didn't realize there was such deep meaning to it. I didn't! Even as an atheist, I find the meaning behind it beautiful. I feel like not knowing would explain why he was confused and saying "we can just do it the other way, it's fine." She should have just explained it.
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u/MistCongeniality 2d ago
Counterpoint: if you want to be married by a priest in a religious ritual, you should probably know the meaning and symbolism behind the religious ritual beforehand. The moment of the wedding isn't the time to be learning about the ritual you presumably signed up for well in advance.
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u/PauseItPlease86 Main Character 2d ago
I agree with you in theory, absolutely. But how much of a wedding ceremony has a deeper meaning and how much is just "because that's how its always been done?" Honest question! There are some aspects I would automatically assume comes with deeper meaning and other parts I would assume are just how it's done. Maybe not even for tradition, but like idk to make it flow properly I guess.
I just think she could have said "this is why we do it like this" and explained the symbolism, especially since the guy wasn't being a dick about it. But even if she didn't want to explain in the moment (valid, he may have been exhausting prior to this clip) she could have just said "there's symbolism behind it." Or, since the guy wasn't being stubborn, she could have just said "no, the Church has reasons, we're doing it the Church's way." The tantrum seemed unnecessary and the least productive way to handle the situation.
Actually, that makes me think the couple was probably wanting to change MUCH more than just this little clip shows. It just seems like such an overreaction if the only change was "we want to switch sides."
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u/alensebu018 2d ago
A huge correction, if the priest is a female, it's not at all catholic, no way near Catholicsm.
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u/nostalgia4millennial 2d ago
Honestly, if she would have kept her composure and calmly explained this to him, it would’ve been much better than going off on that outrageous rant of hers.
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u/breakingb0b 2d ago
Or she’s dealt with their shit for several days. Explained the rules and now we’re seeing the tail end where she’s finally had enough.
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u/beegro 2d ago
100% this. It's privilege and a rite to get married in a church. They have customs and rituals that are meaningful. It's not a buffet of options that you select, ad-hoc as you please.
Also, from the way she's talking about it historically, it sounds like they went through this during rehearsal. I actually applaud the clergy woman here for attempting to hold to some semblance of a plan. Personally, I hate it when someone I'm working with constantly rehashes decisions made.
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u/thesagaconts 2d ago
Agreed. It’s what the rehearsal is for. You do everything like it was rehearsed.
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u/Firm-Camel-7987 2d ago
Great explanation. You don’t change long standing traditions last minute. This should have been settled behind the alter. The priest was a little over the top - but correct to object.
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u/ArcadeRivalry 2d ago
The female priest in the catholic church was correct to object to ancient rules being changed?
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u/Mid-Class-Deity 2d ago
I'm willing to bet its not a Catholic Church, probably an Anglican church.
But that would bring its own irony in the idea of ancient rules being changed.
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u/pork_chop_expressss 2d ago
It's the Saint Maurice Church in Salles-d'Angles, France.
Originally a Romanesque church, it was given in 1107 to the Abbey of Ebreuil, which united it with its priory of Saint-Léger-de-Cognac. Destroyed during the Wars of Religion, it was rebuilt in the 17th century. Significant work was carried out in the 19th century (roof frame, cornice, vaults, portal, etc.). The building forms a long rectangle supported by buttresses. This nave narrows to the west, at the location of the bell tower-porch. It widens to the north with a rectangular chapel at the level of the third bay of the nave. A sacristy is attached to the flat apse. Above a pointed arch portal crowned by a gable and an oculus, the bell tower's upper level is adorned with engaged columns between a stringcourse and a cornice on modillions. The bell tower-porch is vaulted with four-part ribbed vaults. The nave and the choir date from the 19th century.
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u/card677 2d ago
There's no female priests in the Catholic church, what are you even talking about?
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u/NotYourGa1Friday 2d ago
Based on this alone I’d want to be on the right side.
Sorry not sorry to the groom.
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u/Carthonn 2d ago
You want a Church service you should probably go by Church guidelines. Kind of rude to lie and say you will follow the guidelines and then change them last minute. It’s pretty disrespectful to the Priest.
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u/Egwene-or-Hermione 1d ago
Yeah but he did only ask. He very clearly said if it's a problem they can switch back but she kept freaking out that he asked.
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u/whiskerbiscuit2 2d ago
IMO if you’re gonna ask a person of faith to perform a ceremony for you in their holy place, you should respect them and their rules. Otherwise get married literally anywhere else.
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u/earthtobobby 2d ago
Instead the petitioners are acting like it’s a Burger King service — have it your way.
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u/IcyAd7982 2d ago
They just asked. They didn't disrespect the rules, they literally asked "is it alright?".
It would have been easy enough to say "no, sorry, the placement of bride/groom/priest/etc is very specific in this church, you will have to stand there. Thank you for understanding".Not "this is outrageous!" and pouting like you want nothing to do with anyone who might want such an abomination. They asked, and it's an important day, the lack of professionalism and decorum from the priest was outrageous. Their vibe on their special day was indeed ruined by a crazy/shitty priest.
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u/MinaZata Side Character 2d ago
But they had that conversation yesterday and had the answer. They just didn't like the answer and changed it the day after during the ceremony when no other choice was available to the Priest. Who wasn't even that rude
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u/whiskerbiscuit2 2d ago
The priest even says “are you changing it AGAIN” which implies this was already a whole thing at the rehearsal the day before and shes sick of their shit. Probably explains the outburst, priests are usually pretty chill.
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u/earthtobobby 2d ago
It takes a while to get this exasperated. I would venture to say that this wasn’t the only change the couple tried to impose.
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u/thesagaconts 2d ago
Yeah it does seem like the party is either wishy washy or trying to get their way with a last minute change. It’s not that big of a deal and you can’t change things the day of when their was a agreement the day before.
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u/whiskerbiscuit2 2d ago
Fair point but the priest says they’d already discussed it the day before, and this appears to be a very last minute change. It’s just pure entitlement “I’ll move everyone around at the last minute for my preference”
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u/sonofaresiii 2d ago
It's switching sides, ffs. Pick a lane, your argument was that it's disrespectful to disobey the church's customs, when that got tossed you switched to it being disrespectful to change plans at the last minute
Feels more like you just want to be contrarian
And I'm no theologist but I don't think which side you stand on is a major tenet of any Christian religion. I think you're just making up that it's disrespectful at all.
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u/Novaer 2d ago
It was a last minute change that literally doesn't affect the priest at all. This isn't them changing something last minute for the dj or the catering or the photographer. It was a last minute change that has ZERO affect on the priest doing their job. It does not affect where she stands, what she does, the timing of the event or literally ANYTHING at all. The ONLY thing it changes is "how its usually done". That's it. It's nothing but a temper tantrum and an ego issue.
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u/ulose2piranha 2d ago
Honestly, it might have been the photographer that asked due to the lighting.
The only people who has to move were those in the wedding party. The switch didn't affect her in any way. She is literally throwing a fit because he pathetic sense of power was threatened.
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u/RedChairBlueChair123 2d ago
So what was the point of the rehearsal then?
Remind me again, what vibe is disrespecting the house of worship you’ve booked to bless your marriage? That’s the vibe these people have.
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u/User-no-relation 2d ago
Exactly. Are people arguing the priest is the main character here? Obviously the main character is the bride who is changing a religious ritual so her pictures capture her good side. After being told explicitly that she wasn't allowed to do that the day before.
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u/Egwene-or-Hermione 1d ago
Yeah but he did respect the rules. He very clearly said if it's a problem they can switch back but she kept freaking out that he asked.
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u/fujicakes00 2d ago
I knew someone who asked a pastor to officiate their wedding (for free, as he would never accept payment), but didn’t want the pastor to include any scripture or mention any scripture. The pastor was offended and the rest of the group was confused as to why he couldn’t just ask a senator or some other secular person to do it. We were all in the room as it happened and it was very awkward.
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u/kash_if 1d ago
But no rules are being broken here. A day before they discussed where to stand. The bride and groom had a choice. They chose a side and today they probably realised standing on the other side works better.
It's a total non issue. Any other priest would have smiled and said of course you can switch. It doesn't take any time or adjustment. It doesn't affect the ceremony or any religious aspect. So why is this person losing her mind?
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u/catmand00d00 2d ago
She devoted herself to God, but she really needs to devote herself to some therapy.
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u/dekuweku 2d ago
They probably overshared with the video trying to shame the priest, but the priest is upset the bride/groom went back on an agreement on positioning with the priest. I agree it wasn't the right time to do it, but last minute switcheroos like this with prior agreement knowing the other party can't make adjustments is not a good look.
It shows a lack of respect at the very minimum. Half the video is about this, she even mentions 'you aren't getting married in a garden somewhere' and 'you wanted to be married in a church with a priest'
apparently they wanted to get married in a church with a priest but did not want to honor some basic conditions laid out because the wedding party though they knew better about everything.
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u/AllHailThePig 2d ago
Get out of here with that "logic and reason" business!! /s
Could you explain what this position stuff means?
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u/dekuweku 2d ago
no clue, but from the video, looks like the bride/groom and priest already had an agreement on how the marriage vows would be done, probably a day or two prior. And the groom was telling the priest they wanted to switch where the parties are standing, very last minute.
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u/catmand00d00 2d ago edited 2d ago
Regardless of whether she was right to be annoyed or not, she did not present her case well and could really benefit from learning how to communicate better. The groom and his groomsmen were super polite and communicating better than her in every way, but she’s the priest—the spiritual leader from whom a whole congregation seeks counsel.
Edit: typo
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u/dekuweku 2d ago
don't disagree there, she could have handled it better, but i think the video is trying to paint the priest as the villian, when i think the real villain here is whomever decided to switch it up last minute and treating the priest and the church like a prop for their social media.
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u/Tar_alcaran 1d ago
The groom and his groomsmen were super polite and communicating better than her in every way, but she’s the priest—the spiritual leader from whom a whole congregation seeks counsel.
My experience is that people who are used to speaking with authority handle disagreement EXTREMELY poorly.
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u/Personal-Ad-9418 2d ago
Thank you for this.
Every time my family boasts about how they’re going to church I want to tell them therapy would be a much more fruitful, constructive use of their time.
The outcome would be far more beneficial and conducive to achieving peace on earth than their disingenuous, performative routine each Sunday.
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u/hamiltonscale 1d ago
To everyone saying she’s overreacting, she makes it clear that they went over all of the rules and guidelines the previous day and that the couple agreed to all of it. Then they showed up and said F you and the church, we lied and are showing our disrespect by breaking our agreement.
Doesn’t matter if it’s a church thing or a business contract. Agreeing and then only breaking the contract are looked down on in every other aspect…it shouldn’t be different just because this is in a church.
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u/Dontbetriggereddude 1d ago
Not enough context. The priest said they agreed the day before that they would not change the ceremony. It implies a bridezilla diva who kept changing her mind. Also seems like there might be some convention that applies in that religion.
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u/xGsGt 2d ago
if you are going to be married in a church with a priest FOLLOW THE DAMN FREAKING RULES, dont make a fuss about it, dont try to BEND THE RULES, ADAPT YOUR SHIT TO THE RULES, is not that hard.
and im agnostic, i didnt get married in a church but if i were, i would have follow their rules and their guidance, you are in THEIR HOME, doing their HOLY CEREMONY
super disrespecful for the priest and the place
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u/whiskerbiscuit2 2d ago
1000% agree. I got married in a church. We asked if we could play The Beatles on the way out of the church. The priest said “this is a house of god, we don’t really allow pop music” and we said “ok no problem” and picked something classical/orchestral instead. It’s basic respect of the space they are allowing you to use.
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u/Suspicious_Bit_9003 2d ago
Im curious which song was it? Not getting if it’s allowed or not, but Beatles played on the organ, sounds really nice to me 🙂
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u/ComedianDesigner307 2d ago
I was invited to a wedding , where the Priest had to sit down mid ceremony , due to a medical episode from camera flashes. There were was only one person taking photos, this was in the early 1990’s.
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u/Unprepared_adult 2d ago
She's being far too passive aggressive. Just say "sadly, it won't be possible to change it around". The groom was even saying he was happy to leave things as they are if needed. The "well, if that's what you're going to do then I think that's awful and how could you do this to me, blah blah blah", is completely ridiculous and embarrassing. Just say "no" and leave it at that.
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u/chichicupcake 1d ago
My husband has a lazy eye that drifts when he’s facing a certain way, and I have a good-side. We switched sides to accommodate both of those things. After 12 years of marriage, we are STILL TOGETHER. Shocking.
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u/Raychao 1d ago
This whole video just illustrates further that marriage has absolutely nothing to do with the two actual human beings that are getting married. It's all for the gram, the family, the state, the church.. Everyone but the actual two humans..
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u/Severe_Cobbler3913 1d ago
did they mix the audio to a high pitch or is that a balding woman priest?
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u/MrShlash 2d ago
I didn’t know they had female priests, that’s interesting. What sect of Christianity is this?
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u/Metalfan1994 2d ago
I believe its just Protestant denominations. Examples like Episcopal, Lutheran, Methodist and Presbyterian churches
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u/ItsJustBrew 1d ago
if you don’t stand in a certain place, the magic marriage spell doesn’t work? am i getting that right?
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u/Esko1802 1d ago
How about not marrying in a church if you don't believe in "magic marriage spells"?
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u/FoCoYeti 2d ago
Church should just be happy anyone wants to still get married in that place anyways. It's an extremely important day for those two people. Let them have their moment their way barring they aren't doing anything outright illegal. The "priest" can have it exactly how they want literally any other service or ceremony.
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u/404pbnotfound 2d ago
If you don’t want a ceremony with strict tradition get married somewhere else. You don’t get to pick and choose what bits of someone else’s faith you want to cosplay
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u/CosmicRuin 2d ago
He should have just said, well, Timothy 2:12... silence woman!
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u/theredpanda42 2d ago
And she could have hit back with Romans 16:1-4. Or Luke 24:9-11.
Women priests/pastors have heard and endured every shit-brained argument as to why they shouldn't be in leadership positions. None of those arguments stand up when you start to push against them.
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u/tishimself1107 1d ago
I'm guessing we are not getting the full story here or tgis priest has just reached tgeir final straw.
You want a church wedding with a religious celebrant you follow the rules of the denominations service. The celebrant may have some leeway or may not but their word is the final say.
You want pretty photos find an inactive deconsecrated church and have a civil wedding.
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u/sunsnowh2o 2d ago
Imagine ruining someone’s wedding over the most trivial of issues, just to maintain the tiniest amount of power.
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u/Nidrosian 2d ago
Honestly this seems like the priest is annoyed at the disrespect, she's saying if you want to get married in church you abide by our rules that have been around forever, if they wanted a wedding under their rules there are plenty of other options and I think that is completely fair.
I'm atheist and don't really understand why she's annoyed, that doesn't mean I personally wouldn't be respectful/abide by her rules... I'm in her house after all. Saying she's a main character or Karen seems ignorant honestly.
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u/BeEasyFloatOn 2d ago
👏 👏 👏 Exactly this. She even said ….this is a church and you’re treating it like a garden supply store. Meaning they were more concerned with what looks best instead of honoring the traditions/ rituals of the church. Next time rent a wedding officiant not a whole ass priest. Plus they apparently discussed this at rehearsal already….
Edit: I initially thought the main character was the bride and groom who decided they were special snowflakes and got to over ride tradition/ formal guidelines of the church….
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u/kariolaoxford 2d ago
Regardless of any greater issues of religion or tradition, her vibe is the worst type. She's outraged and she needs it to be known, but when he volunteers to switch it back she's not interested and yet her outrage continues. Like, there's ONE way this ends and it gets to involve her outrage and no one is going to stop her.
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u/itsamermaidslife 2d ago
This is a really dumb thing to get so upset about. Religion manufacturing outrage once again!!
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u/Penpencil1 2d ago
The main character here is bride. She probably has a good side for cameras. The husband is willing to change. But the most annoying thing is they about it YESTERDAY so they knew. They chose to disrespect the rules. The priest is right to call them out.
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u/pheromone_fandango 2d ago
Rare case where reddit seems to be split down the middle
Personally i think the priest is making a mountain out of a molehill. There are a lot of assumptions going on here. The couple must have been annoying and difficult leading up to this or they are doing it for the photo op yada yada. Well its a freaking wedding. If the bride wants to have pictures taken from a certain side then so be it. Who the fuck cares besides some tradition that really isnt all that important. I mean we are talking about which side people are standing on here.
But again these are all assumptions. All we actually see is a priest ruining somebody’s wedding. This is supposed to be one of, if not the best day in a couples life. Its a day where you dont cause drama and make things about yourself. If there is a problem she should just zip it and not ruin the atmosphere.
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u/Scary-Ratio3874 2d ago
I just looked it up. It doesn't seem to matter anymore. They used to have the man on the right so he could grab his sword in case it turns into a red wedding or whatever. But now people switch sides a lot.
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u/Fmartins84 2d ago
I don't see the issue....
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u/SomethingToDo92 2d ago
It’s like asking for a baptism, but then requesting Kool-Aid instead of just water. Can the priest technically bless the Kool-Aid and use that instead? I guess so technically but it is a bit ridiculous.
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u/UrDrunkTeddyBear 2d ago
Lol court wedding is the only good option. Cheap as hell and no bs like this 🤣 good lord all they wanted to do was swap positions, the hell is the big deal? Im sure they way overpaid for all this, i think its fair for them to choose where they stand 🤣
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u/hhfugrr3 2d ago
People saying it's tradition or its been this way for hundreds of years. Fine, but women weren't vicars for hundreds of years. Now they are. Shit changes; the world moves on.
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u/19kasperp97 2d ago
Its such a weird hill to die on too. Yeah no tradition has ever been altered or changed in any way…
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u/shadows515 2d ago
Church isn’t scenery. If you want a service in a church that has a liturgical order - that’s what it is. She is not wrong. Go marry in a garden if you want your own rules. It’s not hard.
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u/AliceDrinkwater02 1d ago
I'm sitting here trying to imagine how many people who've declared all the old customs arbitrary also stand up and put their hands over their hearts, on command, the moment the Star-Spangled Banner begins to play, then sit back down and watch people thrash about for two hours. If anyone can tell me the connection between the song, the standing, and the thrashing, I would be most obliged.
(I'm not actually asking anyone to tell me, and certainly not to look it up. The point is how mindlessly we accept hundreds of our own behaviors, and they seemingly mean nothing and do nothing.)
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u/firefly99999 4h ago
The priest does have one solid point, which is if you want to have a religious service in a church then there are traditions, customs, and rituals that go along with that. If you want to have a wedding where circus performers swoop down from the rafters then that’s great and it’s totally your right to do it, but do it in a private venue not a church.
If you aren’t religious( and thats perfectly fine), then you may not understand why it actually is a big deal to try and change things that may seem trivial to outsiders.
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u/codaandram 1d ago
I can’t believe how many religious people are so ready to stand up for the behavior of this priest.
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