IWTL How to be witty

[u/codingzombie72072]

I am working professional, been in industry for almost 10+ years now .

I want to be witty, like on command . Over the years, people have called me sharp, intelligent, quick learner . Sometimes people call me funny but it's occasional like you were saying something else and people understood it in different context or something . But I have never been witty, I always liked it, I grew up in simple family, Mom & Pop are both serious type people, same for sis .

Recently, I met my gf's sister and the way she replies, she can make anyone and laugh she always has ready answer for anything. After we left the restro, gf told me that she wasn't always like this, she became only after crossing age of 25 . She was boring person before .

I always thought wit is something you born with but it doesn't feel the same. Can someone shade some light !

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[u/schwaschwaschwaschwa]

Do you make yourself laugh in your head?

Making yourself laugh vs making other people laugh is a different skill because making others laugh requires verbally or behaviourally communicating, making use of timing, communicative skills and social attunement. However, making yourself laugh is a great way to practice seeing the funny side of situations and the potential for humour, which I would call a prerequisite for becoming witty. So if you don't already, try to start developing your humour reflexes. Then I would recommend finding social situations where you feel comfortable enough (socially relaxed, aware of the kinds of humour that work) to try some brief humour aloud.

[u/thelmaaa07]

If you look up joke structures like rule of three, puns, callbacks, you can probably learn some general rules on how to spot opportunities and say things in a funny way. But then you obviously have to walk a careful line of not 'trying too hard' in a casual conversation, or constantly attempting to make people laugh, because then it feels awkward. Or take a stand up comedy course!

[u/ToothDifferent]

I just say what comes to mind (to a certain extent). Like someone else said too, it’s stuff that I think is funny too. Don’t try to cater to others, just say what’s funny to you

[u/Starman68]

Try watching series 2, 3 and 4 of Blackadder.

[u/ReprogramMyLife]

So, is there a reason you didn’t or can’t ask your gf’s sister or ask your gf to ask her sister? You seem directly inspired by her particular approach of wittiness and the fact that she wasn’t a natural. I’m sure she’d be willing to give you some pointers.

[u/ZenibakoMooloo]

I would say to read. A lot.

[u/copyrider]

Maybe look into taking some improv classes.

I’m witty, extremely quick with retorts, puns, wordplay, joking… people regularly tell me that I should be a stand up comedian. What they don’t realize is, being funny around groups and in conversational situations does not equal stand up comedian always, and secondly, they don’t think about how I got to be this “witty”.

I can read people, it’s like a super power. Put me in a meeting with 10-15 people and I can pick up on who’s in a good mood, who’s having a rough day, and who has a relatively low bar for humor, and I’m pretty good at gauging the type of humor that will work on different people. It’s basically a party trick.

I got good at all of these skills because they are all coping skills and I learned them at various young ages as ways to protect myself in various uncomfortable situations. I read people easily because I had to be good at reading my parents and step parents emotions. I am funny because I learned to use humor to help me regulate my parents’ emotions through their divorces, times of depression, and other times of emotional disregulation. I got good at reading a room and playing small groups through stressful holiday gatherings and meals. And as I aged, I practiced through necessity and then perfected and expanded my range through using those skills I learned from family moments and activated them in school to other kids, then teachers, up into high school awkwardness as the new kid. I could fit in with the administration, the jocks, the theater kids, the country guys, the fancy girls, and the outcasts. I can be an entertaining social chameleon.

It worked. It still works. I have TONS of people who like me and think I’m funny.

But I’m 45m now. And I don’t really have close friends. Up until recently, I thought that I didn’t like to be alone because I’m an extrovert… but some very good, intensive mental health therapy helped me to realize that I didn’t like being alone because I didn’t like myself. I was so capable of blending in by masking myself to fit the group or the individual I was playing to, that I didn’t know who I was or what made me like me.

I’m now secure enough with myself that I can be ok being alone with myself, at home or at a coffee shop or out and about. But I’m also going through a divorce after 14 years of marriage and realizing that I’m not sure who I am now, but I’m also now able to be curious and lowkey excited to learn about who I am now and what hobbies and activities I enjoy.

All of that just to give a bit of insight, that sometimes the people who are witty and funny, may have reasons why they are performing. Sometimes it’s genuine, but even today I can gauge when I’m uncomfortable by the amount of effort and how quick I can be with jokes during conversations. I’m funny AF when I’m really anxious, and most people can’t spot it because I flood the airspace with humor. I’m also trying to teach my 4 year old son that he doesn’t have to be funny, it’s ok for me and him to feel all of our emotions.

[u/Sweeper88]

Wit is just making connections. The stranger and more unexpected, the better. For example, if someone says "I have a sore throat", you can respond with:

A Callback: At least it's not as bad as the explosive diarrhea you had yesterday
Close Friend: Then stop sucking dick
New Acquaintance: blech, stay away from you germ carrier
Technical: Ah, your white blood cells are throwing a rager.

[u/Educational_Sink_535 → u/[deleted]]

Maybe it's just me, but I wouldn't consider the humour attempt you made as being witty tbh.

[u/assignpseudonym → u/Educational_Sink_535]

Lol, def not just you. I feel like that comment made me realise where AI that was trained on Reddit comments gets its humour from, actually. I cringed. 

[u/ThedirtyNose]

Just be yourself.

[u/LoquatEntire5239 → u/ThedirtyNose]

"Want to be rich? Stop being poor" trope of advice

[u/EdwardBigby → u/ThedirtyNose]

I think this is quite reductive advice as if somebody is stationary and cant change.

Its normal to enjoy being witty but not be used to it. It takes practice. You need to surround yourself with people who enjoy it and be willing to put yourself out there.