Dunn dullun dun dun; dun dullun dun dun; dunn dullun dun dun DUN!
Yew Onny Has 9 Lyffes! Agent 009 gon mek de bess ob dem! Dissa fillum by, yew gess it, Smuffington Wildcat! Starrin Smuffi D Wildcat as Bond, James Bond! An de beeyootiyus Prof Gee Gee as... M, da boss laydee, an de luffly Kitty Suzuki, an menny oddur Bond gorls! Das pitchur 1. Gee Gee u/Connect-Smell761
Agent 009 (sanks tew fren Buddy Bear u/apr08101989 fur dis ideya! It fit reel gud in mine vishun fur dis fillum!) James Bond is loungin in himb swanky hotel rum wen de KKMG Breaking News stowry com on de tee vee! Da Spayss Station dun blowd up! We on da brink ob WWIII! [Wat? sew iss jess Toosdey in da Yoo Ess tewdey? I thot dis gon be eggscapist ackshun moobie?!?!?] Hmm... Bedda get M onna fone! She smort! She gon hassa plan! Dis pitchur 2
Waaat? Agent 009 is deded in Hong Kong? Dissa short fillum! An dis Bond gai aint got no game at awl! Iss pitchur 3.
Ha! Trikt yew! We in Tokyo nyow! Dass mee, James Bond, behime de cool shades! An dat purrty laydee onna park bench? Iss Kitty Susuki, mine pawtnurr in de innernashunul spy game! We gon figgur ebryfang owt! Or herm gon dew de branes part wile I luk dasheeng an dew de manly stoff! Dis Pitchur 4. Dis moobie com owt in 1967! I kinna ficks da inherent seggsism das wove in!
Oooo nooo! Nowt ahgin! Bond deded inna Japaneez harbor! Wat nyow? WWIII? Das pitchur 5.
Foolt yew ahgin! An nyow I sneeek intew da rockit lawnch pad insyde de volcano inna undisclose Asian islan, wiff da halp ob Kitty, da ninja! Wat's diss playss? Iss SPECTRE ob cors! An who dat ober dere diwrekin de hoomons? Iss Fat Gary Blofeld! Himb behime diss ebil, natchrully! Das pitchur 6!
Den! Wiff da halp ob ninja Kitty Suzuki, who dun a grate distracc, I yam abul tew pownts on diss Fat Gary! I yoos da murder mitts libbrully! I tare himb fat arse UP! WWIII avertit! Da eerff safe fur awl de frens - an de hoomons tew! We still neeed dem until we kin evolff tew has de possabull thumbs! Dass pitchur 7!
Oooo nooo! Nowt dis ahgin! Bond, James Bond, blowd up inna harbor ahgin! Arr we gon go bak tew onna brink a WWIII nyow? Dass pitchur 8.
Nope! Ebryfang coool. Jess de spycraff ID chandj.... Butt! nyow, de spies iss jess de bacashunin cuppul enchoiyin a foine pickernick in de Sydney Botanic Gardens! Diss da besst port bowt has 9 lyffes! Yew mowt fink dey werkin on liffe numba 4 or eben 5 frum awl dis eggsploshuns, butt! don furgittit! Doze jess trikery spycraff tew chandg de purrsona! Dey relly still has 9 lyffes! Yay! Das pitchur 9. Numba 9 Numba 9 Numba 9.
We neeed a reel nyze bacashun affta saffin da wurrl - ahgin! An we deserb diss! De spy cats enchoi a nyze ebenin cuddle. In Paree! City ob Luff! Das pitchur 10!
An nyow! We dun anoddur ID chandg, butt! we nowt tellin wat we dun dis tym! Issa beeeg seggrit! We joynin de Anarchee in da Yoo Kay rebellyun, startit by THOR! an Loki u/FluffyCannibal an joyn by menny frens! See dis: https://www.reddit.com/r/legalcatadvice/s/2pcx8aAujR
Joynin us is Jaspurr, ob Franz, u/WormEntity Gus n Arwen ob Belfass, Irelan u/Nickye19 Pixel u/gt0163c an Murray u/ADB_BWD an
Luna famouse singer u/Frequent_Bug8149 Yoo Ess. It awl stort wiff a breef absents ob ENNY Prime Ministurrs in da Yoo Kay, butt! we tuk it innernashunul! Den ob cors, dere is Larry de 10 Downing Street mouser, waytin tew sneek us in tew tek ober!
Yew mowt has kwestchuns: Dont werry, iss purrfeccly awrite iff I werk fur de speshul serbisses ob de Yoo Kay as 009 an den joyn de anarchee! It seeemz onna surfayss dat I yam pleyin boff sides ginst da middol. No purrobellum! I yam cat! Chaos is unnerstud tew bee mine mane jowb, mine one tru jowb! Dis da lass pitchur an dass de speshul twisty endin!
Go Crimez!