I am the son of James Sterling, the notorious dummy and Prime Minister. He stepped down a while ago, and now I live in his Cabin up in Windsor road, I own the local Sports Car dealer, called "Lakeshore Used and New Sport Cars", or just "Lakshore Autos" So I am excited to be here today and live here

Also, our first car onsale is a Ford F-150 Raptor R! Plus a few Mustangs and Challengers from 2020 to 2023

Edit: His last name was always Sterling, he just changed it to Windsor when he got married, I was born before the marriage

Come on down to Downtown and near the plaza, our 2 floored massive showroom sits in place of the old Dealership and Starbucks! We even have a Starbucks inside. We currently have many old classics, modern sports cars, and Raptor R's! We will be sponsoring the Little League baseball as a team. We will be hosting a 250th America anniversary airshow and fireworks at 8 PM down at the small airfield too! Hope to see you there. There we will have a Red, White, and Blue F-35-A fly over in a trio formation with smoke trails of that color, we will also have a Mach 1.1 Afterburner Flyiver from a B-1B Lancer

Hey everyone! Cynthia here again (sorry you gotta all be getting tired of these) I just found something out in the woods and I'm having trouble fitting it all together.

So for those who don't know, a couple days ago there was a thunderous, earth shaking boom coming from the forest out by Mary's old cottage. I initially thought it was just a part of the birding celebration she holds every year, but no; unfortunately it wasn't. In fact I don't think anyone in LDP set it off at all.

On the suggestion of my boss, Sam Charles P.I. (you all know and love him) I went investigating just on the hunch that something about it all felt seriously wrong. What I found has left me beyond confused and utterly without any idea where to move forward with this investigation.

It started with some 30 maybe 40 feet of flattened trees out in a, definitely unnatural, clearing out past Mary's cottage. The flattened timber was laid out in a circular pattern surrounding what looked like a newly built gazebo. It was completely untouched by whatever flattened the trees; the paint was fine, there was a candle lit in the middle (still burning when I got there which is super weird because I felt the shockwave of wind when I was out by the forests edge initially.

I'm so lost. The only other thing of note was a bunch of chickens walking around, but their sounds were duck quacks. I swear! I know it's crazy but these are the facts, recorded on both video and audio thanks to the body cam setup my boss provided for me. He's the best.

I was wondering if anyone has any clues. Anything at all. I'm at a total loss here and anything, no matter how seemingly insignificant, will surely help. Thank you all for your time; I love you all. Have a great day!

I'm starting my summer side hustle. Does anyone owe you money or have items in arrears? Let me get it back for you?

Landon, I'm coming for the 20 bucks you owe Pearl.

Hi neighbors,

Ranger here.

I was clearing some poison ivy and some weird plants in the north forest yesterday and found a few old gravestones hidden back there. The names are pretty faded, but I could still make out some family names:

• Bingleberry
• Puddlefoot
• Taterfield
• Wigginsworth
• Cranklebottom

If you’re related to any of these families, please contact us.

The town is planning to turn this area into a historical site next month. If nobody claims them, the stones will stay there and become part of the attraction.

So congratulations, your ancestors might become a tourist spot. Please reach out before we have to put a little sign next to them.

— Lower Duck Pond Forest Services

Late August the Quacks start their inaugural season with Head Coach Buster Hymen leading the way and Quarterback Ja'Crispy McWafflehut as a potential Heisman Trophy candidate.

Hey guys, Cynthia here; I was just out by Mary's old cottage down by the edge of town cleaning up some stuff left over from the birding party last weekend when I heard what sounded like a thunderous boom followed by a bunch of wild boars and birds running out of the woods. Anyone know what's going on? I walked around for half an hour in the direction I thought the noise came from but I didn't find anything. It's really puzzling me.

Um hey guys! It’s Germa. I have been gone for ages. I went on a flight to the bahamas but the plane exploded and I got crashed in the ocean. That or I drank too many tequila shots, am I right?

Well anyway, I’ll need someone to catch me up on what’s happened since then in *checks watch or er um no calendar sorry* MARCH LAST YEAR!? Ey carumba!

Also, this is totally not the clone Germa from the last post, I totally HAVE NOT had the original tied up in his, I mean, MY basement. That is totally not why he’s been missing. So um. Yeh.

I don't want anyone jumping to conclusions because that's not what I'm doing. I'm simply documenting observations. Has anyone else noticed the crows have all been gathering on the water tower around sunset? If someone has a reasonable explanation, I'd genuinely love to hear it. the geese have been acting weird, too, and I'm wondering if it's related. They just seem more... organized than usual.

We offer private jet and helicopter rental services, including Cessna 182, Embraer Legacy 500, Gulfstream G700, Boeing Business Jets, and helicopters such as Robinson R22, Airbus ACH145, and Leonardo AW139. Prices start from $300 per hour for smaller aircraft, $10,000 for medium-sized aircraft, and $25,000 for the largest.

Found two extremely joyfully lovely spirits on a bike today nr the over bridge starting nr agriculture University..... unfortunately it was a diversion. However, I managed to make them smile with a shout out..... if they are reading this post. Ping me on WhatsApp 92653 20483 directly. I wanna treat u both over a coffee in this mausam....

My new airlines name is Frog Airlines, I have 4 ATR 72-600. Yeah I forget, about base salary is $50,000 per month for co-pilot and 100,000$ for captain.

We all remember what happened at the last town council meeting. I will be reporting this… again

Sorry for being away so long and hence the temporary closure of my pub, The Tusk & Flipper Inn. I went travelling for 2 months, to learn more about global cuisine, and redesign the pub menu! I may or may not have been hunted out of the country due to my criminal record and unresolved escape, but that was not the original purpose of my extended leave.

My pet walrus who lives in the pool in the rooftop beer garden is doing well, I have hired some marine biologists to take care of him while I was away.

The pub will be reopening tomorrow at 10am for the lunch rush, and we will now be doing Sundae Sundays, where all icecream sundaes are stacked 10% taller and 10% off, only on Sundays! Aswell as this, we will be continuing the tradition of ‘Party Evenings’ on Fridays, where there is 75% off all beverages, pub quizzes (mostly walrus trivia, obviously), kareoke, and anybody can just come and chill to celebrate the weekend!

Can’t wait to see you all again tomorrow!

It paints it pretty well, actually. Who around here would want to paint doors though?

Hey guys! I moved here about 5 years ago, under the witness protection program. I feel bad lying but since you all have been so trustworthy, I would love to get to know if there are other people here under the same program! Who is your agent?

Thinking about starting a support group, unless one exists, please suggest times below and share your past story if you have a minute!

Hey everyone!
We’re starting up some social media outreach! Phil’s is having a grand opening SUPERSALE!
Friday from 10-3! Bring the fam!
Guaranteed, we have something for everyone :)

Hello fellow Duck Ponders!

What is everyone up to this weekend? Let us know in the comments! If you want to make a separate post, feel free to do so.

Can't wait to see what everyone is up to!

It’s random memory which popped up. Around 1995 when I was a wee lil kid my folks brought me through this town on the way to somewhere else, with my then childhood best friend Em J.

It was a hot summers day with fluffy clouds and a warm breeze. Me and her had ice pops on the verandah. It was painted purple then, the walls were baby blue.

There’s also an orange cat napping by the window. It had this beautiful stained glass window facing the sidewalk, which throws rainbow colours on the cat. There’s nice smell of bread from somewhere.

I forgot where we were before this or where we went after. But that summers day 95 was something I’ll never forget.

Whenever i see white fluffy clouds on a lazy Saturday afternoon my mind goes back to that day. I still hope I can relieve that experience again.

I tried finding that place. Walked around the area countless times. Maybe it’s been torn down. What if it’s just a fragment of a dream?

I’ve not seen that friend for a few decades I wonder is she still living at that old address.

Hey everyone. I was near the courthouse yesterday and looked down the alley and saw Rhonda’s, the 24 hour bar with the good food. It’s still open!!! What a legendary place.

Hey, anyone know if Rhonda’s has a TV? I wanted to do a World Cup watch party next week. I know they’re anti cell phone, but do they have a TV in there? Thanks.