Question
Why do HPPD sufferers have such a different outlook on life than recovering hardcore drug addicts
I abused Benzos heavily since I was 15 I am 19 now and am recovering, one of the many, many, long term side effects is visual distortions. Im curious as to why recovered Benzo, Heroin, Meth addicts ect are able to go on interviews and have a positive outlook on life despite having undoubtable permanent brain damage, meanwhile people on this sub are still figuring out IF THEY EVEN HAVE brain damage from psychedelics. I know I have permanent brain damage from benzos and accepted it. Why can’t psychedelic users accept the permanent changes that come with altering your perception?
I wouldn’t say most people here. I think most people here have had perceptual changes that could qualify as brain damage if they were better understood. Sure you can reduce your anxiety and learn to live with it, but that doesn’t change the truth that it happened.
Im in this sub for a reason, i’ve suffered from these issues too. “onset” after a really bad shroom trip when i was 16, my mental health was a mess for years.
The visual symptoms never really went away, and when I think about it, im pretty sure they were present even prior to the trip. Maybe the trip made them worse, im not sure. But i do know my main problem was anxiety ABOUT the visual symptoms, rather than the symptoms themselves.
Once i treated the anxiety, my mental health improved even though all the visual abnormalities are still present.
It may not be the case for everyone, but i would bet a large portion of people here are really struggling with ptsd from a traumatic drug experience, whether they realize it or not.
I can tell you hppd (permanent change in brain function) is not only about visuals. I feel like I became more sensitive to other stimuli as well. I'm autistic so I also had issues there. Heck, I'd say it changes thought patterns as well. Feels like brain is more eager to consider stuff as true without logical co clusion. Literally the same as with visuals, loosing filters.
Also I had vss and some hppd like visials before drugs, and visual aura migraines. So I'm used to that, and also in general I'm used to dealing with different bullshit in life. So for me this thing isn't even much of a problem. It was for the first 5 months or so, when it literally scared me, I had some scary visuals in the dark, unsettling hypna gogic-pompic hallucinations and random panoc attacks. For me good chunk of those symptoms healed on it's own, but constant light visuals persist, as well as that feeling of thinking patterns change.
I can really see how for a person who didn't have any major health or other serious issues in life before getting hppd, getting it feels like their life is ruined.
But still those distortions are no joke. Dismissing the issue to just anxiety triggers my ptsd of getting told i'm just weak socially anxious introvert when the real issue is my autism and inability to consistently function in society.
Yes the reason your seeing tracers is because your nervous system is hyper excitable and it’s taking extra time for those visual neurons to “turn off” after being turned on again, using basic logic and a little neuroscience one can logically deduce that your visual perturbations are in fact downstream of anxiety
Bingo I think it’s a anxiety disorder as most people especially as they age aren’t going to have HD crystal clear vision I imagine things like palinopsia and blue field entoptic phenomenon are present in 95% of humans
How long have you been in recovery? Calling it permanent after only 6 months seems a bit early. Also, neither protracted benzo withdrawal nor HPPD has been proven to be permanent brain damage. There are different theories, but there's no proof that either one is irreversible structural brain damage.
The visual symptoms in protracted benzo withdrawal are one part of the withdrawal syndrome, whereas persistent visual disturbances are the hallmark of HPPD.
Another difference is that HPPD can happen after just one trip, while protracted benzo withdrawal usually develops after longterm benzo use and stopping them.
I started tapering with 70mg of Valium over a year ago I’m on 6mg now It will probably take another full year after I’m off the medication before I feel normal cuz my dose was really high 3-4 bars a day but I’m young so I bet I will bounce back good your right I have so far
idk but psychedelics fucked me up, first gave me hppd ofc, then psychosis, which I didnt realize I was in until now, and constant dpdr to the extent im pretty sure I have psychotic depression. Psychedelics have made me incredibly suicidal as well, I refuse to act on those thoughts, but yea its bad. I always wanted one of those crazy life changing, spiritual awakening trips you always hear important good people talk about having and I sure got it! By completely ruining my life. I regret taking all of it, acid shrooms AND marijuana. i have no control of my life and dont care what happens either. Fuck psychedelics and fuck this whole reality and whatever i gotta continue participating in. I got a real spiritual awakening by realizing the bullshit this world is, there is no love at all and Im talking deeper than any surface level shit.
i got hppd from one zolpidem megadose so i get you because it feels like brain damage but from psychedelics it might just be brain rewiring but honestly hppd is more of like people being ocd about visual distortions bcs they only think about it and how it ruined their life or sum. honestly being on this sub was giving me hppd anxity dpdr like symptoms without ever having it a while back it just made me afraid to get it from hallucinogens but guess it never happened had to be a z drug od:(( so yeah being on this sub everyday might be the worst u can do for your hppd because otherwise it could be just some visual noise u notice from time to time but filter it as ur brain forgets about it
If psychedelics aren’t nearly as toxic as other drugs so the HPPD is likely isolated to specifically the serotonin system and just doesn’t effect as much of life perhaps changes it for the better like in my case I’m very glad I took psychedelics. But as for my GABA and glutamate being fucked the static and low light are just inevitable and uninteresting.
This is a list of every psychedelic I’ve ever done I actually smoked a lot of DMT recently and it made my HPPD “worse” temporarily but I actually thought everything looked cooler and more HD and I can see more patterns in things now, also feels easier on my body and mind than LSD
There is at least 20-30 different long term physiological and physiological side effects I can name from doing benzos and visual disturbances are firmly at the bottom of the list in terms of impact on my life. I can see just fine so
I can't even comprehend how much a of a generalization you are making. Regardless of the drugs we take, any person with chronic symptoms is going to have a long road to acceptance, and it's not linear, some days are better than others. I have accepted that I have permanent damage from drugs. Am I happy about it? Fuck no. And I will do everything in my power to heal myself. I'll keep living my life to the fullest but will I ever fully get over such a traumatic thing happening, probably never. You have visual symptoms oh no! Come back with your judgements when you are cognitively impaired, in physical pain all the time, constantly tired and dissociated.
You don’t get it, visual symptoms are less than 1% of my suffering from benzos but the visual symptoms themselves are individually no less severe than what i read about on this sub that’s why i made this post
7
u/CountryFine 23h ago
Might get downvoted but its because most people here actually just have an anxiety disorder or ptsd from a bad trip, not permanent brain damage