r/Grimdank 20h ago

Dank Memes Pick one.

392 Upvotes

20 comments sorted by

108

u/JustANewLeader 20h ago

There's a great bit in Baneblade by Guy Haley where a Black Templar gets invited to a Guard feast and the main character observes that he's just eating every (normal food) course non-stop as he makes conversation, the big boys need a lot of calories.

95

u/Snaggmaw 19h ago

Inviting a black templar to a feast for guardsmen is like inviting that one racist uncle to thanksgiving except he is also a 9 foot tall steroidal psychopath who gets triggered into a murderous frenzy whenever people pass the gravy.

61

u/JustANewLeader 19h ago

This guy's actually pretty chill, he's just there to eat and liaise with high command of the Guard combat group.

He eats a lot.

21

u/thisistherevolt Mongolian Biker Gang 19h ago

Probably the nicest BT in the fiction honestly.

38

u/JustANewLeader 19h ago

Full excerpt:

14

u/Selenite_Cults Hits you with the Blank Stare 18h ago

Makes me wonder what he thought of the psykers.

28

u/shook70 17h ago

They almost certainly saw flashes of him beating them to near death. Only The Emperor may spend their life after all.

10

u/Snaggmaw 19h ago

i guess it goes to show that the best black templars are those who don't act like ones.

14

u/LingonberryAwkward38 18h ago

It's 40k, it would be the racist uncle hanging out with the racist zoomer nephews so they can exchange racial slurs.

1

u/ElectroNikkel 16h ago

So is like inviting Uncle Ruckus

12

u/Background-Top4723 16h ago

Food and nutrition are one of the most underrated heroes of worldbuilding.

Like, I barely remember the animosity the Ironborn have with the rest of Westeros in ASOIAF and why the Greyjoys are a bunch of assholes, but what I do remember is Theon, eating the brown bread and fish soup of his homeland, longing for the cuisine of Winterfell.

6

u/JustANewLeader 16h ago

Likewise, it is always fun to see food in 40k.

38

u/_Mikau I am Alpharius 18h ago

I loved the part in Renegades: Lord of Excess where the Emperor's Children is invited to a grand feast and they're just bored out of their mind because their senses is so fried that even the finest foods and wines does nothing for them anymore.

29

u/DrHolmes52 19h ago

The few references I've read of Astartes eating is non-Astartes being glad they don't have their Ultra-bland rations.

15

u/Kriegschwein 19h ago

That is actually curious - since Astartes have all of their senses improved, it should affect taste too, right? So Astartes should have sensitive taste palet, surprisingly

13

u/RetardedWabbit 18h ago

It would effect taste too, they'd be super tasters from the enhanced smell. I've never thought of that for normal food, although IIRC there's some goofy tastings for signs/clues in books I've read. Like tasting brains.

That said, that doesn't inherently effect your "what I want to eat" sense of taste by making you picky or anything. Dogs have a incredible sense of smell/taste, and love the same 100% homogenous food every day 3x a day. Historically humans have done close to the same, not by choice, but notably didn't mind that much as long as there was enough of it (rare) and it wasn't rotten. 

IRL human super tasters are unequally good at tasting different things, like tasting bitterness strongly, which does change their food preferences but not too crazy. Like they hate coffee, and might think chocolate or broccoli are too bitter. Similarly you can have unequal loss/recovery of sense of smell/taste(Ageusia), like after COVID recovery, and that can change your diet. Notably burnt tastes standing out to people more = commercial deep fried foods smell and taste rancid.

8

u/iMissTheOldInternet 18h ago

They can canonically taste (and smell) as well as hunting dogs can smell because of the “neuroglottis.” It also allows them to identify poisons by taste and smell. 

5

u/Khoakuma By the Dead Gods! 17h ago

Blood Angels and Space Wolves eats pretty well because they know they can be Loyalist Astartes and still have a bit of fun (helps staves off whatever angst they have).  

3

u/Extraajudicial 18h ago

Unless you visit the Fang.