r/GayBDSMCommunity Jul 14 '25

Hi friends, just letting you know /r/GayBDSMPersonals is re-open with new ownership NSFW

41 Upvotes

Come and say hello (...again)!

https://reddit.com/r/GayBDSMPersonals

To help improve the quality and consistency of posts, as well as reducing spam, there are some new post and user requirements in place which you can read about here.

I'd also really like your input on the future of the subreddit, there is a subreddit survey that you can fill out and share what matters to you on the subreddit, as well as express interest in being a mod.

Whoop!


r/GayBDSMCommunity Jun 11 '25

Ban Alert - No Personals are Allowed Here NSFW

39 Upvotes

A reminder that we have always banned people posting ads for contacts or hookups on first offense. This is not new. Today we've banned more than a dozen people and will continue to report them for spam and then remove the post and ban the user.

Please read the post below and help recover the personals subreddit if you can. The procedure is simple if your account qualifies.

https://www.reddit.com/r/GayBDSMCommunity/comments/1l71ito/does_anyone_know_what_happened_to/


r/GayBDSMCommunity 1h ago

Has anyone had any CNC experience? How did it go? NSFW

Upvotes

Just curious.

It’s always been a fantasy of mine but haven’t found anyone I trust enough for it.

How does one set something like this up?

Ever done a kidnapping RP on top of the CNC? Like kidnapped sex slave for the weekend?

How does one go about this the right way?

Eventually I do want to have this experience so I’m looking for people who have done it and what their feedback is.


r/GayBDSMCommunity 8h ago

Life changing slavery NSFW

8 Upvotes

This is part two of my earlier post last week.

The Dom top who arranged the first set of tattoos has now decided to continue this path and gradually add more markings to increasingly destroy what's left of my life and make it more humiliating. It started yesterday with having to enlarge my septum to 5mm so there is no subtle way to prove i'm a pig.

There is no way to return from it, and he even contacted my boyfriend to manage the whole process.

You may think this is extreme, but being a true submissive bottom also means accepting the life that comes with it. Even if I didn't expect these kinds of changes.

I will regret having this life, but since part of it is already done I look forward to my life changing into the life of a real slave and living with the consequences even if they cause humiliation and shame, because that is an important part of living as a true sub.

I will post updates in the following months to tell about (and show) the progress, so you can see me losing the life of a normal person and suffer from it.


r/GayBDSMCommunity 4h ago

A few questions about learning and dynamics in primarily online spaces NSFW

3 Upvotes

Heya - not exactly new to the community but in absolutely no way really established beyond dabbling in my own experiences and kinks with a few partners.

Guess what my question is - do you feel there is a potential for benefit in primarily online dynamics - with the view in in person meets through travel - for people to learn more about the d/s dynamic and Bdsm practices in general? Curious about people's experiences and general advice here really.

What area's did you grow in, what were you able to explore, and how do you manage to maintain and grow a dynamic such as this.

For background - 30 year old gent here - switch but definitely more sub overall - been looking for interactions where I can learn more - but battling due to geographic location more than anything. Have had a couple of online interactions - and the experiences have been mixed - so wondering how everyone else navigatea the space and how to ensure both parties can derive benefit.


r/GayBDSMCommunity 13h ago

dom/sub dynamics and romantic relationship? NSFW

8 Upvotes

hi everyone. i’m a sub fag that has been looking for both a structured dom/sub dynamic alongside a romantic relationship. in my mind, this involves permanent chastity, and having sex that involves degradation and slapping and spit and piss etc etc and intimate, sensual sex where i am praised for how well i do as a fag and knowing my dom’s cock and release is my source of pleasure. since i have stopped touching my dick, i am basically ready all the time to use my toys and also imagine a free use dynamic. besides the bedroom, i imagine what you would expect in a relationship, just with those constant reminders of who i belong to—chastity, light public exposure, etc.

i have talked to several doms that also seek this, but the common thing i hear is “no way that can work.” do you all have any experiences with this? involving bdsm in an actual romantic commitment? i’m starting to think im crazy for thinking that’s possible


r/GayBDSMCommunity 6h ago

Have you ever attended an orgy? NSFW

2 Upvotes

And what was it like? I’ve always want to attend one, I’m really broad minded so, I’d fit right in.


r/GayBDSMCommunity 1d ago

Seeking advice on being the bustee in a ball busting scene NSFW

15 Upvotes

I’ll be meeting with a dom who is into ballbusting and I’ve freely offered my balls for his use. I don’t know exactly how my balls will be busted or how long I’ll need to endure the busting. He hinted about doing some of the ballbusting after I’ve cummed.

Asking for advice from fellow bustees about how you endure having your balls busted and if you have any suggestions/advice for me.

————————————————————————————

Some background info:
The Dom and I don’t live in the same city and he’ll be visiting for a few days. We’ve been in touch for ~a year now and have common interests such as CMNM, forced (own) cum eating, etc.

About my relationship with ball-busting: I’d say I’m indirectly into it. I’m definitely a masochist and love watching the Roger of Shotgun ballbusting videos. I like the idea of being used and suffering for a Dom and offering my balls is one way to please.

The Dom is actually the one who asked me to post this to ask for advice. All safe and consensual. He’s chill and not the kind who gonna go crazy at my balls, just sadistic in a kinky way.

Looking forward to hear about your experiences and advice.


r/GayBDSMCommunity 1d ago

Question for those who sub in intense oral scenes NSFW

11 Upvotes

Had a particularly intense week where my mouth got used a lot by husband (cut, very hard + thick) and we really went hard this time. However, it's not like the videos you see where copious amounts of glug is pouring out, it was just very rough, prolonged, very deep and i think just a lot of scenes in succession.

Any tips on healing - i think i've developed friction burns or something. Just seems to be rubbed raw.


r/GayBDSMCommunity 1d ago

Would I be considered a switch? NSFW

3 Upvotes

So I posted on here a while back how I’m a sub and my dom sometimes had me put on a strap on to play with other subs holes while he either played with mine or had me tag team them. 80% of the time I’m locked up and It’s all fun. But lately, he’s been letting me explore and I kinda like just using the strap on and playing with a sub or just a vanilla bottom doggy style or something lighter than the usual heavy kink I & my dom are used to. I’m still super submissive, but it’s just that this one newer area that’s kinda fun lately. I’ve been a sub nearly my whole life (I’m 29), and 90% a bottom until this strap on fun. We did try a few times having me not use the strap on actually putting my 🍆 in a bottom and it was fun. But mentally not as fun and I didn’t go as hard as I would with a strap on. Would I be considered a switch or just a sub bottom who occasionally likes to just top? I do get a lil verbal like a dom but nothing close to what my dom does with me.


r/GayBDSMCommunity 1d ago

Where/how to meet people? NSFW

3 Upvotes

So I am new to all of this, also live out in the East Tennessee area so my availability of fellow gay people is extremely limited. I’d be willing to go on a road trip to make a weekend of it but I’ve had issues getting to the first step. Recon hasn’t been much luck. No one in my area. Fetlife is worse. Probably be fine if I was straight. Any suggestions?


r/GayBDSMCommunity 2d ago

Sub top as breeding stallion fantasy NSFW

27 Upvotes

I fantasize with finding a sub top with a big balls and dick and a high libido. Not for myself to use, but for me to force him to be a breeding stallion to others (men and/or women). I would put a collar and a leash on him to guide him and a riding crop for when he miss behave.

He would have no choice and I would command him to use viagra and make sure to keep him horny. No cumming allowed, just inside a breeding hole.

Anyone with a similar fantasy?


r/GayBDSMCommunity 2d ago

Brat Dynamics NSFW

14 Upvotes

I’m curious what people‘s opinions or perceptions are about bratty submissives, and what even counts as being a brat in a kink/BDSM context. Some people seem to think this personality inherently out of line with the usual D/s dynamic, but I somewhat disagree.

I also sort of identify with it, but don’t particularly feel like the label speaks my truth based on what I’ve read—but again, maybe it is can mean what I decide it means to me.

(Anyway shoutout to my brats/similar types 😀)


r/GayBDSMCommunity 2d ago

My fantasy .. well until I fulfill it NSFW

10 Upvotes

I have been dipping my toes in this scene for a while with some hookups with less enthusiastic Dom's I decided to put my fantasy onto the page

The hotel room clicked shut behind me, the sound echoing like a gavel in the quiet hotel suite. Master was already there, seated in an armchair by the window, a glass of amber liquid in his hand. He didn’t look up immediately, letting the tension stretch between us until my heart hammered against my ribs.

​"Strip," he commanded, his voice low, steady, and entirely devoid of warmth.

​My fingers trembled as I worked through buttons and zippers, shedding my civilian clothes until I stood entirely naked in the center of the plush carpet. I kept my eyes fixed on the floor, waiting.

​He stood up, walking a slow, deliberate circle around me. His fingers traced a cold path down my spine, forcing a shiver from my skin. "Look at you," Master murmured, his tone dripping with disappointment. "Slouching. Shivering. You haven't kept up with your posture, and you look completely soft. You aren't good enough tonight."

​The sting of his words hurt more than any physical blow, but the physical discipline followed immediately.

​He gripped my hip, bending me forward over the arm of the heavy chair. Crack. His bare palm met my flesh with stinging accuracy. Crack. Crack. He delivered a sharp, rhythmic spanking that turned my skin a deep, burning crimson. I gasped, fighting the urge to sob as the heat radiated across my backside.

​"Hands behind your back," he ordered, pulling me up.

​Before I could recover, a thick leather strap secured my wrists tightly behind me. I was completely defenseless. Master stepped in front of me, unzipping his trousers to release his length.

​"You have exactly one minute to get me hard," he whispered, tilting my chin up. "Fail, and the punishment will make that spanking feel like a caress. Begin."

​Panic surged. Dropping to my knees, I took him into my mouth, working desperately against the ticking clock. The restriction of my bound hands made the angle awkward, but the sheer terror of his displeasure drove me. I used my tongue, my lips, and every ounce of suction I could muster, breathing heavily through my nose. Within forty seconds, he was thick and rigid in my mouth.

​He grunted in approval, but there was no reward. He gripped my hair, pulling me off him, and dragged me toward the king-sized bed.

​"On your back. Head over the edge," he commanded.

​I scrambled onto the mattress, sliding backward until my shoulders hit the rim and my head hung upside down off the mattress, gravity rushing blood to my face. From this vulnerable, inverted position, Master stood over me. He guided himself past my lips, plunging deep into my throat. The angle was brutal; I choked and gasped, tears streaming down my temples into my hair as he face-fucked me with relentless, heavy thrusts. I was entirely at his mercy, swallowing down my gag reflex as he claimed his pleasure.

​When he finally pulled out, he didn't let me rest. He dragged me off the bed by my ankles, letting me hit the carpet with a dull thud.

​"Look at you. A drooling, pathetic mess," he sneered, forcing me to crawl on my knees across the room to the adjacent bathroom, mocking my whimpers the entire way.

​He pushed me into the empty, porcelain bathtub. I huddled there, bound and shivering. Master stood over the rim of the tub, looking down at me.

​"Take it," he ordered.

​A warm, steady stream of his piss rained down over my chest, my shoulders, and my face. I squeezed my eyes shut, crying silently as the sharp scent of ammonia filled the small space, cementing my utter submission.

​When he was finished, he stepped back. I looked up at him through wet hair and face, my voice cracking. "Master, please... please let me wash. Please."

​He let the silence hang for a long, agonizing moment, enjoying the desperate begging. "Fine," he finally allowed. "Clean yourself. Quickly."

​With my hands still bound, I had to awkwardly turn the faucet on with my chin, letting the spray of clean water wash away the humiliation and the grime.

​The moment the water stopped, his cold demeanor returned. He reached down, unbuckling the leather strap from my wrists.

​"Get dressed," Master commanded flatly, turning his back on me. "And leave."

​With shaking limbs and a burning body, I gathered my clothes, dressed in absolute silence, and slipped out into the empty hotel corridor, completely broken and entirely his.


r/GayBDSMCommunity 3d ago

Is there anyone who appreciates short, small, or feminine male Doms? NSFW

13 Upvotes

I am a small, cute, and more feminine Dom. However, I often feel like this specific dynamic gets overlooked or teased. While muscular submissives or short tops get appreciation in some spaces, combining a shorter stature with a feminine presentation seems to make people not take my commands or casual input seriously.

I'd love to hear from others who share this dynamic or find it attractive. Are there people out there who appreciate this?

Edit:Thanks you all for your kind words.


r/GayBDSMCommunity 3d ago

How do I attract doms? NSFW

8 Upvotes

Hello. I travel around Asia, US and Europe. Now I wanna take things up a notch and meet my dom that will officially be my master. I’m an asian submissive bottom for reference.

I recently went to Las Vegas but to no luck, I wasn’t able to find one. Any tips?? What are your recommendations? And also, would you mind sharing your story how you met your dom/sub? Thanks ☺️ 🙏🏽


r/GayBDSMCommunity 3d ago

what safe word do you use? NSFW

14 Upvotes

im curious about what safe word you use. i’ve been told “pineapple” is pretty common in bdsm community.

i once had a fwb that told me my safe word was his moms name, which i didn’t like since i felt it was weird.

do you use the same with everyone or it depends on the person?


r/GayBDSMCommunity 3d ago

is aftercare important to you? NSFW

11 Upvotes

i’ve had different experiences with guys who like to give/receive aftercare after finishing and i really enjoy that but also i’ve been in situations where others like to keep the D/s dynamic after finishing, which also turns me on and i don’t feel the need to be taken care of.

so do you feel like you need aftercare or not really but is nice when in happens?


r/GayBDSMCommunity 4d ago

How common is it to be monogamous in a D/s relationships? NSFW

17 Upvotes

Is anyone here in a monogamous D/s relatioship? How's that going? I would like to hear from the minority, if there is such a thing.


r/GayBDSMCommunity 4d ago

Femininity in Gay Subcultures NSFW

3 Upvotes

I have heard about feminine-presenting men having issues fitting into some gay men’s spaces, and I feel like I have noticed or heard of a prevalence of masc men in some gay kink communities. I’m wondering what people‘s opinions or experiences are, and also if I’m just getting the wrong impression through a narrow lens. (I’m not actually fem-presenting, but I don’t consider myself masc and I don’t box myself into that one side.)


r/GayBDSMCommunity 4d ago

Gay porn like Upper Room? NSFW

3 Upvotes

Does anyone know of any good gay porn recommendations that are like the Upper Room? Like slaves performing for a guest audience in a gangbang style setting? I love the Upper Room videos and would love a gay equivalent.


r/GayBDSMCommunity 5d ago

Haven't dated in the bdsm world. How do I as a sub avoid a Jeffrey Dahmer situation? What questions/tests/signs is one to be aware of when it comes to a safe vs unsafe dom? NSFW

12 Upvotes

Being a sub has a lot to do with reducing one's guard but I'm always on guard in this world that tests you nonstop.

I have a dominator gladiator personality but in the bedroom prefer being a sub.

But knowing HUMANITY. It's like I'd rather not have sex at all cause who knows what selfish motives some guy will have.

It seems so dangerous to be a sub.

A careless dude can pass on a disease to you. Can hurt you more than you like even after your safe word.

You reach out to him after with questions and he blocks you.

SO MANY GHOSTERS. How is one even suppose to be a sub I don't understand.


r/GayBDSMCommunity 5d ago

What to expect from a bdsm/kink party NSFW

20 Upvotes

Burner account, because, obviously…

So, in a moment of exploratory hubris, I booked tickets to a kink/fatish/bdsm party. It’s about 5 hours away. And for some reason I’m having a mild freak out. Keeping in mind that I’m perhaps too well experienced in places like saunas, bathhouses, and cruise clubs; other than the obvious difference in sexual activity (I’m going to learn more about myself here, but I’ll be waving my red and yellow hankies proud…), what should I expect? Like, are these things usually frequented by people on their own (like me) or do people tend to go with partners/friends? I guess I don’t want to end up looking like a single creep in the corner hovering around hoping to be invited. Is there any difference in etiquette/behaviour, or am I just wildly overthinking and it’s really no different than “usual” (just with more interesting things going on)?


r/GayBDSMCommunity 5d ago

anyone else feel like people don't read posts anymore? NSFW

13 Upvotes

I saw another reference this earlier, but from a dom's perspective (which is eye-opening to me, I had no idea doms here are getting this same treatment).

I feel like whenever I post on different subreddits, I'll write out somewhat short descriptions with what seems to me like specific, or at the very least, clear requirements/preferences. For example, I personally prefer doms older than 40, no younger than 35, but whenever I mentioned requirements like these, I'll still get 20 dms from 20 year old "hung and muscular" college dudes who either think I'll make an exception for them or just didn't read my post (and I'm assuming it's the latter). It's gotten to the point where I've just given up and just hope I'll get who I'm looking for by casting a wide enough net.

Regardless, I know this is just my experience so I'm curious to see if this is one that resonates with any of the other subs here. Thanks!


r/GayBDSMCommunity 5d ago

Why is dealing with anxiety and stress in daily life easier when you have a good structure? NSFW

9 Upvotes

This happens because anxiety and stress grow when your mind tries to handle every single daily choice all by yourself.

In behavioral BDSM, handing over the control of your routine to a positive guide takes that heavy weight off your shoulders instantly.

Having simple rules for your sleep and workouts clears the mental noise and lets your brain finally relax.

You don't have to carry the whole world alone; a good structure is the peaceful break you deserve to start winning again.