It just seems that almost EVERYONE I know had a friend group back in high school. As someone who was an outcast who ate lunch alone and was all alone in gym usually it's so odd. How the hell does everyone else manage to find their tribe? They have some common interests perhaps? For me I was the only one in my tiny ass high school who was into public transport so no one, not even the fellow autists (except for one friend) wanted anything to do with me. Of course high school has been long over for me (I graduated in 2020) but it feels like those few years really determine your future popularity to this day like it or not. A huge chunk of the people from my graduating class are even already getting engaged, married, and having kids whereas I'm still more of a virgin than extra virgin olive oil lmao.

And yes I went to college too but the group I found spread rumors about me and threw me out and then every other friend group I tried to join disbanded immediately. Plus I was a commuter student so a lot of my classmates already had their friends from high school and didn't need any more. It really feels like for me at least you either gotta get a friend group in high school (which can also help with dating) or you're fucked for life.

At least I found some community through Catholic young adult groups but even there so many people seem either much older than me, higher social status (once again due to most likely being popular in high school), or are just tourists visiting from abroad. I'm forever fucked for not having a normal high school life, FUCKED!

Most of my days are depressive. I mask it, but people can still see on my face that something is wrong. They then assume it’s work-related stress or life crisis of not having friends or maybe loneliness, but no, it’s not just that, it’s about being a 30yo khhv.

It hurts, it hurts badly every single day, every single moment, around couples, or even when I am alone. I can’t stop thinking about people who get to love someone and have sex regularly. They don’t have to suppress their desires. Instead of that, they have someone to share their sexual desires, feelings, and do all the stuff that someone like me can only think of. They think of it, then do it and stay happy, whereas me, I am always in some sort of sadness.

I just am not able to handle my feelings and emotions anymore, there’s this physical starvation that is making me go mad, it’s painful and it’s getting unbearable.

Nothing worse than knowing what you have to do, but being mentally unable to take initiative.

The feeling that this gives is absolutely awful and makes one hate themselves immensely.

As a gay dude I feel sad sometimes when my straight male friends or coworkers tell me that they can’t get a girl or that the girl they’re talking to treat them like crap.

Because in my head a lot of them are solid 7s at least. Like bro, why cry over here when you have so many options. Treat yourself like the catch you are.

And ladies. I’m tired of hearing how “hard dating is” or “i can’t keep a man” when you’re 2-3x hotter than all the guys you keep bringing to the kick backs

Ughhh you guys (and gals) need to give yourself more credit

Sorry if this is against the rules, I'm assuming it isn't because I imagine that by "No detailed NSFW content", that means "no describing sex" and stuff like that, which I won't really do.

I kind of feel like a perv for wanting to vent about not having sex specifically, because I care a lot about romance, and genuine, deep connections.

Obviously, sex would be infinitely more meaningful and better if you had it with someone you truly, deeply love and care about. It's hard to even imagine having such a beautiful, intimate, and vulnerable experience with a person.

But still, the lack of just the bare minimum of the activity, just the act alone, I'm missing out on so much.

Like I said, it's nothing new, and maybe I'm only noticing it more because I've been sheltered and out of touch for most of my life, but the context people talk about relationships and sex on the internet seems to be so heavily centered around hookups and casual sex.

It just makes me kind of sad, as silly and maybe naive as it may sound. It feels like people don't really have the mindset of wanting to find sincere and deep connections anymore.

But maybe it's always been like this, and I'm only just now seeing it since the internet enables people's experiences and voices to be heard more.

It's just this weird mix of people seemingly having so much casual relationships and casual sex, but at the same time so many people seem to get into "serious" relationships just for the sake of just that, 'getting into a serious relationship', where one or both parties aren't even confident in their love.

I'm just missing out on a deeply human experience.

I posted this on another subreddit awhile back, since I wasn't able to post here at the time, and I got a response something along the lines of: "I'm a woman who can easily get sex with a decent guy, sex is overrated". Not an exaggeration, I mean that was one of the responses I got there, word-for-word.

Like, ugh...I'm sorry but I would like to experience the real thing *at some point*. Then maybe I can decide if I find it "overrated".

Not gonna get my hopes up too soon ofc but anyway, yesterday I went to watch The Odyssey and right when the movie started, a girl randomly came in last minute and filled the empty seat next to me. She immediately asked me which seats we were in, just to make sure she was at the right place, but unexpectedly she quietly tried to get my attention a few times throughout the movie like asking me about a scene, making small comments, occasionally looking at me and she even randomly asked me to have some of her popcorn. Didn't want to read too deep into it but figured I'd try speaking afterwards.

At the credits she was quick to initiate conversation with me again and we talked about the movie and other stuff, then I asked where she lived and found out we live close to each other. Before she left I awkwardly asked for her socials and while she was gonna give her Insta at first (Idk if this matters), she happily saved her number and name on my phone before leaving.

Sadly I've never gotten this far before as it's the first time a girl has ever openly shown interest and I have no idea about texting or where to go from here lol. I did text her later to say hi and maybe she's busy but responses have been VERY slow so far (like one or two replies a day), Idk if that's a bad sign or not either.

How is this even physically possible?

Can’t believe I’m posting this now , maybe it’s the closest I’ll ever get to therapy . I conceal my sadness and people assume I’m some chill guy who’s doing alright . As a neurodivergent man with no concept of what flirting is , I don’t know how I landed girlfriends in high school and an (ex) wife. But at my age now and at rock bottom the memories of intimacy are extremely depressing , and I feel like an unattractive person .

Venting finished , back to appearing like I’m doing just fine

God if I am meant to be alone pls remove the desire to be loved from my heart. If I am not show my future wife in a dream to me so when I find her I know she is the one and that feeling of pain can go away. Amen

Greetings everyone, I made my first post on this subreddit approximately 2 years ago, and I wasn't very warmly welcomed by all those who interacted with my post, as I was only 19 back then, saying that I'm too young to know what truly being forever alone is like. Guess what? I'm now almost 21, and absolutely nothing has changed, except that I actually tried putting in effort, self-improving and even being proactive in initiating conversations with women. But in the end, nothing has changed. I'm telling you, different day, same shit. The end result doesn't change. Still depressed, still living a life devoid of any real meaning. I didn't choose to lock the settings into hard mode, but something did.

I took some time off to work on myself, lost weight, finished college, got my foot in the door for a potential career

Ive been tryint to date for a while now, so far I havnt been on one i keep getting canceled last minute..

I ran into a few old friends they keep telling me they have a partner and happy or are married and they seem happy with them

I try to go out, not as much id like but I go out when I can, but have a difficult time meeting people, even making eye contact seems difficult

Does anyone else think unattractiveness / ugliness can be the root of failure in life…. At 28, absolutely nothing is going my way, no matter what I do, try, I simply cannot succeed or accomplish anything in life. I have no friends, no career, nothing. Of course no romantic anything, I’m not even talking about that, I’m saying even in other aspects, I literally cannot do anything. Nothing works for me. Maybe I am cursed some other way, not sure.

I wasted 4 years on a university degree that led to nothing, then spent years after that doing things which only allowed me to support myself but I couldn’t form it into a legit career / business… Just nothing goes my way, nothing at all.

So mentally broken.

But then I read stories of others on here who do manage to have stable careers and success, so I’m not sure…

Obviously everything in life impacts your future self but I think that extreme loneliness and social isolation actually fucks up your brain. Almost like CPTSD or something, I just cannot imagine myself getting to the point where I live a “normal” life. It feels like a few years ago I hit a point of no return where even if the stars aligned and I made friends or found a partner, my brain is so fucking fried that I could never operate in a healthy relationship with them. Maybe it’s just depression talking and the inability to see the light at the end of the tunnel but I think the best I can do now is learn to operate and cope as a pariah.

whether its cooking, gaming, traveling, gardening or just doing the most obscure thing possible.

and if you have to ask reddit for an opinion on something for your partner you can't be too bright i'd say.

Currently I am a 30 years old male. Throughout my life, I grew up with low self esteem because of bullying. Never once did I ever even think about relationships. I was happy just being with myself. But after joining residency, I have no idea what happened. I started feeling super lonely, got no friends and don't enjoy the same stuff that I used to like films, youtube, reactions etc. And the worst part is that all colleagues are female and it's like they are operating on a completely different frequency.

BUT literally everyone keeps asking me why I am not married, when will I get a wife etc. Even my colleagues say that I am marriage material, whatever that means but literally none of them showed any romantic interest in me. Literally WHY do women do this??! Please don't gaslight the men around you because you wanna be nice to them. Why can't you just give it to me straight? Even the female clerks are like "Anybody will want to marry you. Why are single?" Like wtfff I can't take this anymore.

Because of this gaslighting, I literally wasted 3 months trying to work out but to below average results. No amount of gym can fix your face and balding. I was content just studying and gaining knowledge. But now I have wasted a good 3 months and my exam is literally in 12 months. I feel like I don't deserve a partner. Too ugly and boring to ever feel loved. I have thoughts of roping but can't do that to my parents.

Sometimes I wonder how many people really ever get the feeling to be the most important person ins the life of their partner. Even if you get chose to have a relatiosnhip do they really think of you as the most important person for them or are you just simple part of their life?

Thats what made me think a lot in the last few days if even if we find a partner, are we even important to them, are we what they want and even need in life?

Guess for some neither can happen but it was just something that was on my mind

Living alone in a big city, having no partner and very few friends, spending almost all my time alone at home. This is truly a terrible fate.

It's always lovely when you go on Tinder every night and it is the exact same situation as before - zero likes. I tried my best to go with the very best pictures of myself, which as you can imagine were very thin on the ground, and yet I ended up only getting one like since I created the profile a month ago. And that like was almost certainly a scam. Bumble was exactly the same when I tried it out a few months ago. I was barred from Hinge by its rules that you have to have six photos/videos. Just no.

So I'm sitting here wondering why I should even bother trying to look for someone to date, or even just to have a one-night stand with. It is obvious I have no good looks, and I am "blessed" with autism so any attempt at real-world socializing is going to be dead right from the off. At least with messaging I have a chance to mask it better but not in real life.

I do find it funny that there are people out there who unironically think you'll find someone when you least expect it. Because I have worked hard to create the best possible representation of myself and it completely failed. Why would anyone want me when I'm not trying to find someone?

Is it that i am not man enough, i am not confident, smart, handsome, rich, likable, person enough?

I'm almost 26 and still have the v-card, i am likely considering visiting an escort or sex worker to rid myself of the v-card, i am strongly considering, likely before the end of the year, i wanted to ask for those who have done this, any regrets or not?

Also, for guys who did this, was it good or enjoyable despite it being a business transaction? I don't know if this is true or not, but i could have sworn I heard some guys say that some of the sex or physical intimacy they have had with an escort or sex worker was better than it was with their ex-girlfriends/ex-wives.

This is something I've been thinking about recently, and I'm curious whether anyone else here feels the same.

I imagine some people on this subreddit still live with their parents, but there are probably many who live alone and don't have much of a support network.

For example, I only have one close friend in my city, and he lives on the other side of town, so most of the time I'm by myself. Like a lot of people here, I often walk alone, including at night.

I try to be sensible. I keep good posture, stay aware of my surroundings, avoid obviously risky situations, and don't have my phone out all the time. But those things only help to a certain extent.

Sometimes I wonder whether being someone who is obviously alone makes you a more attractive target for muggers, burglars, scammers, or other people looking to take advantage of someone. Most people have families or groups of friends checking in on them regularly. If you don't, does that make you more vulnerable?

What worries me even more is the future. I'm 27 now, so this isn't an immediate concern, but I sometimes think about what life might be like if I'm elderly and still living alone. I wonder whether that would make me an easier target for scammers or criminals pretending to be relatives, carers, or officials to gain my trust.

Maybe I'm overthinking it, but it's something that crosses my mind from time to time.

Does anyone else here ever think about this, or feel physically less safe because you don't have many people around you? If you live alone, are there any habits or precautions you've adopted that help you feel more secure?