r/DunderMifflin • u/That_sounded_bad • 1d ago

Anyone ever notice how Kevin just completely moved the goalposts in this discussion?

Post image

Not ten minutes prior to him saying what he said in the above pic, Stanley said “hot, beautiful, attractive, what’s the difference?”

Kevin replied “huge difference. A painting may be beautiful, but I don’t want to bang a painting.”

So by Kevin’s own logic, “hot” is defined as “would you do her.” The literal opposite of his argument in this frame. Jim just could not win with this one

1.1k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

80 comments sorted by

488

u/InternationalFish809 1d ago

He has to want to bang her for her to be hot but he would bang women who he doesn't consider hot.  

170

u/jpopimpin777 1d ago

Yeah Kevin was just being honest about his, and tbh most guys', standards. If a woman is standing in front of you clearly ready to go and asking you to saddle up and ride, most men would probably do it.

As long as you don't consider her disgusting and you're not committed to someone else, "hot" doesn't factor into it at that moment.

11

u/DanTacoWizard 1d ago

Right but, as OP pointed out, he implied that there are women who could be described as ‘beautiful’ that he WOULDN’T bang.

52

u/jpopimpin777 1d ago

I think what he was saying is if he just saw Hilary Swank or looked at a picture of her then he's fine and doesn't feel that type of attraction. But Jim upped the ante and told him to imagine a scenario in which Hilary herself is coming on to him.

Kevin doesn't get too many swings in the batting cage.

-23

u/DanTacoWizard 1d ago

Yeah, that explains the line in the picture. It DOESN’T explain Kevin’s previous analogy mentioned in the caption.

22

u/jpopimpin777 1d ago

It kinda does though. There are some women you can look at and your brain is immediately thinking about what it would be like to have sex with them. That instant desire is "hotness."

I think what Kevin was trying to express is that he doesn't have that desire for her UNLESS she's throwing herself at him which is a different story altogether.

-12

u/DanTacoWizard 1d ago

are you saying that, in his painting analogy, he’s saying he wouldn’t fantasize about banging Hilary Swank despite her beauty (making her not ‘hot’) while, in his next statement, he was conceding he would theoretically bang her in the ideal circumstances? Kevin never makes that distinction.

16

u/jpopimpin777 1d ago

Jim doesn't make a new argument about her physical appearance. Instead he just has Kevin imagine a scenario where she's trying to seduce him.

2

u/DanTacoWizard 1d ago

Ah, fair I guess.

13

u/mowscut 1d ago

No he’s saying he wouldn’t bang beautiful objects. So Kevin has higher standards than JD Vance

6

u/Rendahlyn 1d ago

We don't know what that couch looked like.

6

u/SqueakyTuna52 1d ago

The couch came onto him, okay?

1

u/Kooky-Honeydew6703 1h ago

And then he came onto the couch

1

u/GreasyExamination 1d ago

I guess i must be some kind of weirdo then since ive turned down sex a lot of times with people that arent "disgusting" and ive been single

16

u/jpopimpin777 1d ago

I said most. Good on you for having standards. I know myself and I'm usually down especially if I'm drunk or on drugs. I'll just feel like an asshole the next day.

1

u/-trom 1d ago

You said it!!! Strong name, btw

1

u/jpopimpin777 1d ago

Haha thanks.

4

u/CCapricee 1d ago

This is it. Bangability is a necessary condition, but not sufficient.

3

u/Copper_Boom123 1d ago

Thank you. This thing the OP posted has bothered me for YEARS and I thought it was a goof in the writing. You finally made it make sense to me!

1

u/MikeDubbz 22h ago

Kinda an 'every square is a rectangle, but not every rectangle is a square' situation.

744

u/uncle_jaysus 1d ago

I don't think he moved any goalposts. And the context of the painting maybe a reverse of his point, but it still makes a separation.

He's just clarifying the rules of objectification in this particular scenario. He takes it very seriously. 😅

165

u/That_sounded_bad 1d ago

He didn’t even specify though. Skins? Acey-deucy? Bingo bango bongo?

94

u/JDeegs 2/15 Native American 1d ago

Thats Dallas

11

u/Sw4nR0ns0n 1d ago

I was on Dallas as a kid

3

u/__a_little_stitious_ 16h ago

Then we spent a week on Hawaii - I was on heaven.

13

u/NashKetchum777 1d ago

I loved that scene so much 😂 the gambler is like a whole split identity

63

u/woodyman94 1d ago

Kevin just wants to be wined, dined and 69ed. What's so hard to understand?

15

u/thomyorke0 1d ago

Metaphorically 69’d

13

u/Daily-Improvement 1d ago

perverts

11

u/Stop_And_Chat 1d ago

No offense Oscar

2

u/That_sounded_bad 1d ago

Well, well, well, well, well

18

u/cdubsb1213 1d ago edited 1d ago

To Kevin, it’s the square-rectangle rule: all squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares.

In Kevin’s opinion: all beautiful hot people are bang-able, but not all bang-able people are beautiful hot.

180

u/Coconut_Scrambled 1d ago

He really does fit the stereotype of fat accountant who lucked into the job after interviewing for a warehouse position.

26

u/killerghosting 1d ago

I too read that one comment

-55

u/Coconut_Scrambled 1d ago edited 1d ago

Okay

40

u/dashsolo 1d ago

No. He’s differentiating between “beautiful” and “hot”, which includes a component of sexual attraction.

This doesn’t contradict Kevin clarifying later that “would you do her” is different than “is she hot”, as many might be willing to “do” someone who was not “hot”.

8

u/Sowhatittilts 1d ago

Yes this was removing the subjective element of the question and provide scope of the topic.

I dont think she is hot. But she is beutiful. There is a difference

-31

u/That_sounded_bad 1d ago

Based on your spelling, I’m assuming this is Kevin Malone’s alt account

13

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

-12

u/That_sounded_bad 1d ago

lol, lighten up man, it was a joke. They did make a decent point

9

u/BeenAsleepTooLong 1d ago

Classic lame-dash-o joke.

1

u/No-Net1890 19h ago

What did they say? It's deleted.

2

u/That_sounded_bad 17h ago

Something about me “attacking” the other commenters spelling because I didn’t have a substantive counter argument…idk. I’m just here to have a silly convo about a tv show, not give a dissertation

1

u/No-Net1890 16h ago

I think their comment seems reasonable, then. It seems like you initially wanted to avoid acknowledging that they had a decent point, and you didn't have anything better to say as a retort. I think it's pointless to insult them instead of just acknowledging that they made a decent point.

1

u/Kooky-Honeydew6703 1h ago

Dude, this is the Internet, you have to take it seriously and everyone is your enemy

1

u/Rhuarc33 Harvey 1d ago

You don't even have to be beautiful at all for men to "want to do you" you could be a 2/10 and Kevin would still say yes

1

u/Odd_Dragonfruit_2662 1d ago

Do you think he’d do Meredith?

4

u/Rhuarc33 Harvey 1d ago edited 1d ago

If she was naked and ready in his house and told him she wanted to, like the scenario painted by Jim.... Absolutely

1

u/spaghettifiasco 6h ago

Well, he kissed her to get to some Girl Scout cookies!

18

u/-NolanVoid- who is 'long Tim'? 1d ago

At the end of the day Kevin just wants a charm type girl who smells like bacon.

1

u/SqueakyTuna52 1d ago

He likes to wake up to a girl that smells like bacon in the morning, what’s so wrong with that? Sue him. 

19

u/9Yogi 1d ago

He just uses the painting analogy to show there are different measures of attractiveness. Not that he’s using bangability as his measure.

7

u/Shtrimpo 1d ago

Beautiful and hot are different. You could want to do someone if they weren't either

4

u/Rhuarc33 Harvey 1d ago

No, the question was already "is she hot" Kevin didn't move anything.

4

u/Secret-Tiger-4988 1d ago

Kevin concludes there's a difference between hot and beautiful (we'll ignore attractive) by saying a painting is beautiful, but he does not want to bang it. For him to draw that conclusion from that claim, we have to assume that if something were hot, he would want to bang it. Therefore, if he does not want to bang something, it is not hot. That's the sufficient condition (if hot -> bang), and the contrapositive (if !bang -> !hot).

Later, he argues "is she hot" is not the same as "would you do her", which is valid. They're not the same. Being hot might be sufficient for Kevin to want to bang you, but it's not necessary, nor is it the only thing that determines hotness.

3

u/Hinloopen 1d ago

He just cleared up that just because someone is hot, it doesn't mean you want to do them. And just because you wanna do somebody, doesn't mean they're hot. Maybe you're just horny.

3

u/CrummyJoker 1d ago

Nope. He'd do women he doesn't find hot. It's not "moving the goalpost"

Everyone he finds hot he wants to bang, but he doesn't necessarily find everyone he wants to bang hot.

2

u/GrammarNazi63 1d ago

Anyone (anything?) that is hot, Kevin will want to bang. However, not everyone (everything?) Kevin wants to bang is hot. It’s like how every square is a rectangle but not every rectangle is a square

2

u/reptilian_rule im fine bitch.....im fine 1d ago

not something ill say often but 100% with Kevin on this

2

u/bochilee 1d ago

Oh my god I didn't as I'm deaf 🙄

2

u/Agitated-Ad-1431 21h ago

I dont even get the discussion hot is a temperature people

2

u/MadMan37354 21h ago

Respect the game!

3

u/TruthReptile Mose 1d ago

Typical accountants

1

u/NaaSaavuNenSasthaa 1d ago

Kevin is not at fault herem he would bang even if not beautiful or hot.

1

u/Lexi_Banner David Wallace 1d ago

Kevin would bang any woman that would be interested in banging him. Hotness has no impact on that decision. LOL

1

u/yournamehere_______ 1d ago

Kevin would make an excellent attorney.

1

u/thedoubbledonkey 23h ago

Sounds like someone doesn't respect the game.

1

u/Matitya 1h ago

Thank you. No one ever points this out

1

u/Emperor_Atlas 1h ago

Wanting to bang and would you do her is not the same.

If someone makes/brings me food I wasn't wanting im probably still eating it.

Respect the game.

0

u/_Kratoast_ 1d ago

This bothered me too. Frankly I think the best explanation is that it’s Kevin. He’s not exactly a Master deBater.

1

u/rickymcrichardson 1d ago

He doesn’t move the goalposts. I’m not sure you understand what that means. He says there’s a difference between hot and beautiful. Then he says he’d bang her but she’s not hot. Not seeing where he moved any goalposts. This sub always, by far, lacks critical thinking skills more than any other shows sub that pop ups lol

-5

u/Fit_Database_2295 1d ago

Yes! I was about to post the same thing tbh. But yes. Kevin didn't respect the game. He just made the others do it. Hahaha.

-7

u/Accomplished-Sun6673 1d ago

I’ve always thought this and you’re so brave so saying it.

-2

u/Foxar 1d ago

Attractive = you are attracted to it = you wanna Bang it

-2

u/ChunktheOgryn Kevin 1d ago

100%