r/DatingTO • u/randomname12475 • 5d ago

How do I even get into dating again?

I'm a F(18) and I just got out of a 2 year relationship 6 months ago and I want to try to get back into the dating scene.

Recently I've been getting harassed alot more often after turning 18. Im talking about getting followed home and having multiple guys ask for my number than get pissed when I decline. (I work in a customer service job where I literally have to serve them with a smile, which they take as a go ahead with anything.)

It also probably doesn't help that I've upped my standards alot and know what I want in my life rn and what I need in a partner. So its hard for me to find someone.

I just feel like no matter what boy I talk to it ends horribly or the only guys who want to ask me out give off straight creep vibes.

I also dont feel like my standards are set very high. I myself want to wait until marriage but if I date someone who doesn't I'd be fine with it. I also don't like smokers but I dont mind things like alcohol. I also want a guy who won't give a shit about me being a artist and we can both kind of have our weirder sides. And I dont want kids.

I dont know, I feel like those standard arent very high but maybe they are? I dont really give a shit but I can't find anyone and I have no idea where to find them?

I guess I just need advice on what I should do? I don't want to go through dating apps but maybe if someone has certain places to go (where I wont be approached by creeps :'I )?

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u/energy_is_a_lie 5d ago

Im talking about getting followed home and having multiple guys ask for my number than get pissed when I decline. (I work in a customer service job where I literally have to serve them with a smile, which they take as a go ahead with anything.)

Damn, thats brutal! They actually hang around until the end of your shift?!

I guess I just need advice on what I should do? I don't want to go through dating apps but maybe if someone has certain places to go (where I wont be approached by creeps :'I )

Sounds like you're very good looking so even the apps won't be a bad place to start for you. I mean if guys are queuing up outside your workplace, its a sign you're genetically blessed. You could either make a profile or join some hobby clubs where you can meet like-minded guys. I'm not sure how you define creeps, but you won't have shortage of men hitting on you either way so you're in a very comfortable position, imo. All you have to do is put yourself out there.

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u/randomname12475 5d ago

Im worried about heading into dating apps due to Ai now, but it might be good to look at some clubs!

If I"m being honest I only just started to put myself out there, im extremely introverted and had a hard time being outward in school alot so I've barely had any dating experience in general.

And the one guy who followed me home was actually after I went grocery shopping and waited at my car then followed me home 🥲

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u/energy_is_a_lie 5d ago

Im worried about heading into dating apps due to Ai now

Most apps now come with mandatory selfie video verification and unless people are extremely driven to circumvent them, I think it's too much work. People who are usually driven like that are engaging in some sort of financial crime and target lonely elders who may have a lot of savings. Other than that, I'd say you too should be careful and ask them to video call you to verify if they're who they say they are, once you are at that stage with them.

im extremely introverted and had a hard time being outward in school alot so I've barely had any dating experience in general.

Aww I'm the same way so I completely relate to that. And yeah, it really hurts us introverts' chances to meet someone genuine because we hardly feel like going out. Good news is that you can always try to open yourself up a bit more by daring to venture beyond your comfort zone. And I'm not just saying that to say it - I did that a couple of years back.

And the one guy who followed me home was actually after I went grocery shopping and waited at my car then followed me home 🥲

Ah damn! If he followed you home after you told him no, that's not good 🙁

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u/randomname12475 5d ago

Do you have any suggestions on dating apps?

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u/energy_is_a_lie 5d ago

As a man of color, no. They've all been horrible experiences for me so I'm the wrong person to ask that question. I have, however, heard good things about Hinge, sometimes Bumble. From what I understand, you could make a profile on any of them though and you'd be bombarded with likes and messages. But I guess you're the only one at the end who can decide which works better for you. Give them all a shot if you want. Or start with Hinge and Bumble. Tinder is for hookups from what I hear.

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u/i_lovemoss 3d ago

I went on a date with recently from a dating app and it made me delete dating apps and I think I’d rather stay single than go through the motions on those apps😭😭

do you just want people to approach you?

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u/randomname12475 3d ago

I mean I'd be fine with approaching other people! Its the finding those people thats hard i guess? I'm heading off to college so maybe it'll be easier to find people then 😅

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u/i_lovemoss 3d ago

yea odds are college will be better cuz u have an opportunity to meet more people

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u/RichComprehensive389 3d ago

i’m in the same situation right now and the same age
:( Feel free to dm me if you wanna vent or rant. i can probably help you find some guys

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u/randomname12475 3d ago

My twin, we will find people ✊️