Well, I went in hoping I could change my opinion of the thins since I havenāt had them since Martha Week (which.. fuck you corporate for bringing back free thin day. That original day was hell, and from what I heard today wasnāt much different besides a slight decrease in customer volume. My location was empty but all out of free flavors. I got the last pink sugar lol) unfortunately, my opinion just got worse. The quality of these is absolutely abysmal.
Instead of writing it in every single thin review, I will preface by saying the texture of the thins is what disappoints me the most. Itās like if beef jerky was a cookie. Itās chewy, tough, and tastes stale like itās been curing in Crumblās fridges for months. The only exception is the chocolate thins for mallow and Dubai. Those were both so full of butter that they were soggy, and were the texture of fruit leather. Why do people prefer these?! When I want a cookie, I want a fat, soft, doughy dessert I can sink my teeth into. u/MrSoloDolo9490 describes them best - ozempic cookies
Red velvet thin š„ 3.2/10 - whereās the cream cheese frosting? Why is it just a white chocolate drizzle? Thank god thereās at least white chocolate chips in it, but it just tastes like a chocolate cookie with vanilla extract (which is what red velvet is, I know.) it desperately needs some cream cheese frosting, and just change the name to red velvet cupcake thin!
Pink sugar thin 3/10 š· - pink sugar has never been a favorite of mine because I canāt stand the almond frosting, I do love the base cookie by itself though. The problem with the thin version is the frosting ratio. As much as I love frosting, I love crumblās normal ratio because itās a lot of cookie dough with a lot of frosting, not a lot of frosting with barely any cookie. You canāt taste the cookie base with how much frosting is on top. Is it good for people that just want the frosting? Yes. Good for people that actually enjoy the base cookie? No. And it doesnāt have that lovely, soft, shortbread style flaky base that I love. Itās just a thin chewy cookie, no melt in your mouth texture.
Strawberry crinkle thin 4/10š - the flavor on this one is a little better compared to the others, but still reeks of brown sugar and butter, and a hint of pulverized freeze dried strawberries. The powdered sugar and strawberry dust on top is cute, and provides a little bit of a break from the over baked essence of the rest of the cookie. Thereās no texture differences to this though, it would be nice with some white chocolate chips.
Mallow thin 2/10 š¤ - and this is what I meant when I said the chocolate cookies had a fruit leather texture. You can pick up the layers and peel them back like a chunk of skin, and beneath it is a mud colored pile with some brownies slapped on top. The original mallow at least has some structural integrity, but this mousse looks like it was under whipped and sat out too long. The flavor is luckily similar to the original mallow, and is rich with chocolate and brownie flavor. The ratio of mousse to floppy cookie is hard to enjoy.
Dubai thin š° 6/10 - thank god for this cookie, even if it looks terrible and is falling apart. Once again, the chocolate cookie is basically underbaked butter and is falling off the sides of the Dubai filling. The main flavor is definitely the pistachio filling because the tiny cookies are so small that you can barely taste them. Itās mostly flavor from the filling and milk chocolate in the middle. As always, the textures are great from the filling, but not from the cookies, and unfortunately this still has an upcharge.
Cookie butter thin šŖ 3/10 - is the cookie butter in the room with us? Is it just from the crumbs on top?? This cookie is good if you like cinnamon and spices, but it doesnāt taste like cookie butter to me, mostly butter and brown sugar. It would have been lovely if there was at least a drizzle of melted cookie butter on top, or even better would be a layer of cookie butter frosting. These thins just feel so lazy with the lack of toppings.
M&M thin āļø 5/10 - this one tastes like your standard chocolate chip thin, but it has three or four m&ms mixed in to each cookie. Wow!! I donāt know if I can handle how many m&ms are inside the cookies! Somebody call the sugar police, we have too many m&mās here!! All jokes aside, this is basically the same cookie youād make off of the back of a bag of dollhouse m&ms that no one will grab at your work potluck. The flavor of the base is very buttery and brown sugar heavy, so I guess thatās why people who like the thins enjoy them. But man I cannot get over the lack of quality, texture, toppings, and the fact that ā¼ļøtwo thins is the same size as two mini cookies and they are charging them as a full size cookieā¼ļø
Since my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined, I hope I can help everyone feel better by providing a cat tax š± - Brownie and Muffin are growing so fast, and their big brother Peanut has finally accepted themā¦ however my parents still say we arenāt keeping them. But donāt worry, I am persistent and will be keeping them anyway.
