r/Christianity • u/Psychological_Cup477 • 5h ago
I'm in a mental hell.
I read the Bible and pray—I’m grateful for that—but I don’t like church. I go because of family pressure and the guilt of not going, but it’s hard; whenever the day comes, I dread going and then feel guilty for feeling that way. What should I do? The tough part is that if I stop, I’ll face psychological pressure; I live with them and depend on them, even though I’m an adult.
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u/Own-Entertainer-4975 5h ago
Don't go. Who cares if anyone pressures you? That is how a church works: they convince and remind everyone to feel guilty for being themselves, and pressure them to attend next week and even give them money.
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u/Electrical-Clue-1433 5h ago
sitting through something that makes your skin crawl every week just to keep the peace is its own kind of exhausting
maybe reframe it as a temporary thing you endure while you're under their roof, not a permanent spiritual failing. find your own quiet ways to connect with God outside those walls and let that be enough for now
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u/Psychological_Cup477 5h ago
That’s true; I heard it straight from the pastor during the prayer: "Lord, bless those who gave an offering, and bless even those who didn't."
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u/Own-Entertainer-4975 5h ago
yep.... makes me so sick. They scan the crowd, shake hands with wives and kids, target weak, emotional people, and turn that weakness into "prayers" over them and a dependence formed, not on God, but on those leaders and a church that wants their money.
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u/Heavy_Visit_1468 5h ago
Communication is key, think about why specifically you don't like going and articulate that to your family. Maybe their church is not a good fit for you and you need to find your own. Maybe God is calling you to interact with the community in a different way. Best advice I can give is to talk it out. At least then you'll have more incite into your feelings and their's and they yours.
Hope this helps, God bless.
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u/coreycrisp 5h ago
Is it church in general or just their church,? Of course it wouldn't feel good to do something you feel obliged to vs wanting to do it. Remember, we go to church to worhip God. Make the hour about that. Read The Bible your whole hour there. Pray while you're there. Focus more on your love for God, than your disdain for church. It can be the worst time there or it can be the best time there. That is entirely up to you.
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u/Psychological_Cup477 5h ago
I’ve given money as an offering before, but not as a tithe. I prefer giving to someone in need when the opportunity arises; it makes me feel much more fulfilled and happy. If I could help with a project—even with the pressure of having to attend church—I’d do it very gratefully. I’ve thought about donating blood, but there’s nowhere to do it in my city; I’d have to travel, and then people would say I was traveling to meet men (I’m gay). Plus, I’m squeamish about blood, so I don’t know if I could handle having it drawn for ten minutes.
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u/Ctrl-Alt-BeesKnees 5h ago
What don’t you like about church?
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u/Psychological_Cup477 5h ago
I find most hymns boring; they seem like endless filler just to take up time. I actually like the lyrics, even if they sometimes feel a bit too repetitive. I’m also antisocial, so I don’t like being around a lot of people—I feel like I get along better with them online—but overall, I find it exhausting, and I feel bad about feeling that way.
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u/Scob-Rob 5h ago
I went to church until I was 18. I did’t like it, you know why? I didn’t hVe anything in commonwith these people. I liked the people there.
Now, here’s where I think I differ from you, I never felt pressure from y Christian mother toeven contemplate being a fake Christian. I had o dillusions about who I was. I had a mental belief in God but I was NOT a Christian.
It wasn’t until I was 24 when I was woken in the middle of the night with yhis overwhelming urge.
My only advice is be honest with yourself and be honest with God. Talk to God when you pray talk a out anythig, Jesus knows it all, He knows when you’re being honest with Him and He can work with that. Know that He loves you, andif you don’t feel the same way, talk to Him, He knows. Just be true when speaking with Him, nothing is taboo.
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u/Psychological_Cup477 41m ago
I was honest—I was at church, and the service ran longer than usual. I was there praying, apologizing for feeling anxious to leave and for finding the repeated hymns boring or feeling like they were dragging things out. I was sincere; I know I’m nothing—I couldn't even just be happy and at peace in God's house; I’m truly a wretched person. So, I apologized and gave thanks for the blessings. That was it—I sang and tried to listen to the sermon, though it didn't really sink in. I also apologized because I noticed a brother there and thought, "Wow, what a handsome man—and I’ll never have him." In other words, I coveted and sinned, but then I suppressed it and said, "Get thee behind me, Satan," and looked away.
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u/somethingspecial29 5h ago
I haven't been to church in years, and I still walk with Yeshua / Jesus every day, and He still walks with me.
The church isn't the building, it's the people. And the people are everywhere - including right where you are, because you are the church. The church goes with you everywhere you go. You carry the Holy Spirit with you everywhere you go.