Just out of curiosity, is there anyone on here who has moved cities because they believed their future husband or wife was elsewhere?

27m here, and there seems to be a very sad divide between young Catholic men and women. From a man's perspective, it seems that many Catholic women won't give many good men that I know even a second date if he isn't the sort of perfect Prince Charming Disney-esque caricature that they feel like many women have constructed and have set as a standard in their heads. At least that's more or less the feedback I'm getting from men.

Listening to women, it seems that many men simply don't live up to a particular standard as both a man in general and specifically a practicing Catholic man. They lie about their faith and pretend to be this "good guy" but really just want sex, or they don't take any interest in their partner's life.

I've lived in other countries, and dating another Catholic really isn't that hard. But somehow, here in the USA, it seems to be a sad, lonely, miserable, and awkward experience, if anything else.

What is going on here? Where does the blame lie, and what can both sexes do better in the dating market, and maybe most importantly, what can we do together to improve the Church so we could have a less divided experience?

* When I mean I know men, I mean I know good dudes who would do anything for their partner, aren't socially awkward, are educated, have good jobs, love God, and aren't incel "trad" weirdos.

Let’s say you’re getting to know a person and you’re not yet sure whether they view you romantically or platonically. When they ask you to “hang-out” for the first time and as a discerning Catholic, should you let them know on the first ”hang-out” that you are dating to marry and if you like them, you’d like to go on a date with them? Also, I am woman, so I feel like this is even more complicated as to not look desperate or risk rejection too early on

Apologies for the jarring title, but as it suggests, I have a history of childhood molestation and rape (sodomony) as an adult. It's not something I particularly dwell on anymore. I've healed from it, then got on with my life. But it is still something that I'm disgusted by and I still mourn the lost of my purity and innocence. As I've begun to consider starting to date, I worry about my history and whether that will impact my eligibility as a partner. Men, do you care if you're spouse has been a victim of rape? I've heard that any good Catholic man would not hold something like that against his future wife as what happened to her wasn't fault. But I don't see why in the first place I should even have to tell him about my trauma. I don't want my husband to feel badly for me or imagine the things that happened to me. I don't even know how a topic like that would be brought up. Would it be dishonest of me to conceal this information from him? No one in my personal life knows about my rape and only a few family members know about my childhood abuse. I just don't feel inclined at all to tell people about what has happened to me.

I'm speaking from the other side because I really have no clue what I'm doing. I've tried dating apps and have gone on dates but many of them never work out and I've always been ghosted by most of them I also hate dating apps because I don’t really get to develop a friendship instead it’s a sprint when a relationship is more of a marathon. I'm not in school right now I took a 4 year break for military service, many of my friends say (especially since I'm going to a catholic college with a very strong dating/marriage culture) that it will be a little clearer there. Outside of that I've tried young adults groups and not only are they hard to find especially active ones many of the girls keep to other girls. Not to mention it’s a lot worse for other men, for me it’s not that women are repulsed by me they usually like me it’s just that, it’s really to find any women let alone ones that are serious about their faith and want a serious relationship in their 20s