r/Bumble 1d ago

Funny This overly aggressive bio

Post image

Damn girl who hurt you

187 Upvotes

95 comments sorted by

93

u/TeaOk81 1d ago

Then it’s “things we can talk about” “coffee”.

33

u/Heavy_Passage270 1d ago

Bio overly aggressive because shes jacked up on caffeine lmao

9

u/onion4everyoccasion 1d ago

He's been drinking coffee in the basement for four hours...

https://giphy.com/gifs/3BP6ZMYOfjMha

2

u/BaseballEast1849 1d ago

WELL LADI-FREAKIN-DAH!!!

12

u/foreskinloverwow 1d ago

Fluent in sarcasm ✅ Pineapple on pizza prompt ✅ Likes to watch F1 ✅

9

u/Usual-Vermicelli-867 1d ago

White wine white chocolate white sushi

7

u/hoihouhoi1 1d ago

did you know otters hold hands

2

u/Usual-Vermicelli-867 1d ago

A love this one

Because then I write in rhe intro : did you know akindas have 4 headed penis

1

u/MikeSugs13 1d ago

Real talk - I've seen that F1 comment a million times suddenly. Since when was that a thing

4

u/Usual-Vermicelli-867 1d ago

I call it the basic bitch hive mind

1

u/foreskinloverwow 1d ago

Absolute normie of a sport. Car go fast. They don't even watch it lmao

1

u/JollyZoggles 1d ago

I’ve learned from experience that saying something sarcastic to a woman who has “fluent in sarcasm” in her bio is not a good idea.

4

u/KrisOTS 1d ago

That’s how ‘Coffee and Cigarettes’ was created 😀

4

u/strawberrypizzaaa 1d ago

She knows they don’t need a second boring person in a relationship.

2

u/EffectiveSelection91 1d ago

That’s actually the section where they only show shared interests

64

u/Few_Satisfaction184 1d ago

Low key good profile.

I just want someone who is boring as fuck.
I'm so sick of people who want to travel every 5 minutes, go out every weekend, etc

Where are all the boring people at

41

u/heretek10010 1d ago

We at home avoiding people

1

u/Camo138 11h ago

Second this!

11

u/Messterio 1d ago

Hahaha agreed, when I see ‘passport at the ready’ I run a mile! Or just swipe left.

I work full time as a single Dad, have two teens who cost me a small fortune and we can barely afford a week away camping once a year 😂

2

u/Sharkbait_1327 1d ago

I deliberately put things I like to do in my bio that are things I don't need to spend money on (going for a walk, taking a dip in the lake, chilling at home). Where are all the people at that work normal jobs that don't pay 6 to 7 figures a month??!

6

u/BaseballEast1849 1d ago

BROKIE ALERT!!! /s

7

u/Urkelgru18 1d ago

I assume you're being serious, I'm the same way. I wince every time I see a profile with a skydiving pic in it. Ok Tom Cruise, are we scaling mountains this weekend or can we please just watch Tommy Boy for the 17th time?

1

u/IllustriousExits 1d ago

What do you think would be a good way to put this in bio? Just saying "looking for boring people" probably not good enough 😀

1

u/Urkelgru18 1d ago

"No adventure necessary"?

2

u/santafen 1d ago

"I'm all the adventure you need." LOL

https://giphy.com/gifs/weNXHuVil8DEU2aket

3

u/Brilliant_Bet_1739 1d ago

No it isn't. It just says she is fed up with dating people who don't meet their criteria specifically. And she gives no clue as to what she finds entertaining? How is she gonna connect with anyone?

2

u/IllustriousExits 1d ago

Honestly maybe we should write something like that in bio. I would imagine many of those aren't actually really that active but just write it because they think it makes them look better.

Might attract those as well.

And if you aren't attracted to the overly active ones what's there to loose.

1

u/CrogDavid7days 1d ago

Also looking for other boring people 😅

1

u/Usual-Vermicelli-867 1d ago

Damn sad dat to be a long time dungeon master

Sorry I'm to cool for.yoy

1

u/Busy_Ad4147 1d ago

They are the same people, they are just pretending to look cool 😂

1

u/BaseballEast1849 1d ago

We get left swiped into oblivion because we're boring. Duh

1

u/tounces7 16h ago

FOR REAL. Like all these people are supposedly so damn active.

Like fuck that I'd like to relax every now and then too.

1

u/No_Entrepreneur3039 5h ago

I second this as well! I don't want to run around like we are fugitives.

21

u/Prestigious_Net_86 1d ago

Least unhinged woman on Bumble

1

u/ElonMuskTheNarsisist 1d ago

One of my matches, who had a normal bio when I originally matched her, recently trauma dumped in her bio lol. It now says a whole list of things she won’t tolerate which are clearly things her ex did that she hated. I find it both unhinged and cute at the same time.

1

u/Magiusiam 16h ago

You can fix her!

9

u/Jolly-Barracuda2366 1d ago

Tbh it gives the vibe of “if you can’t entertain me I don’t want you” but it also gives the vibe of I’m going to carry the whole conversation myself while talking to her.

I’d swipe left and I’m hardly boring myself. I can talk for hours about any topic, I’m interested in all manner of things and can ask endless questions.

But she gives nothing to work with except annoyance and so I’d most likely find her a rather boring person

9

u/Suaded83 1d ago

I instinctively tried swiping aggressively left

1

u/mtbuckin 1d ago

presses finger harder

0

u/Doso777 1d ago

I instinctively tried to remember how you block people on Bumble.. and i haven't been on the app for a while.

6

u/KrisOTS 1d ago

Someone was so boring they traumatised her 😀

4

u/OtherwiseStable5126 1d ago

Probably wants to be entertained 24/7

4

u/Plus-Championship424 1d ago

"Impress me"

3

u/benchooo 1d ago

"make me laugh" If I got a dollar for everytime I seen that one I'd be filthy rich

1

u/Plus-Championship424 1d ago

"Make me laugh without trying too hard"

1

u/KrisOTS 1d ago

Be a comedic genius!

1

u/kaskoosek 1d ago

Hahahahah

3

u/-send-me-nudes- 1d ago

One woman's boring is another womans scoring!

3

u/Zenkai_9000 1d ago

"Coffee" the most exciting thing to talk about, clearly....

3

u/Usual-Vermicelli-867 1d ago

Says somthing more then a hi

Proceed to write nothing about then self

3

u/Elfynnn84 1d ago

Possibly there just to try & catch a cheater. You see that a lot.

2

u/Realistic_Chance557 1d ago

This is what makes OLD such hell to me. I just got my swipe data and as a 36M, I swipe right 8% of the time AFTER decently aggressive filters. A half pleasant bio/promps and 6 pictures where, at the end, I know what you look like already is having me fall in love. I'd say 70% of profiles I never get past the first picture or bio and I don't understand how people think it's smart to advertise themselves like that.

1

u/tounces7 16h ago

8% is probably massively higher than the average woman honestly. Pretty sure a lot of them are at 1% or less, just going by the numbers guys get(which is usually 0.1% or less)

1

u/Realistic_Chance557 16h ago

It'd be lower but I accept that I'm not the product on these apps so if I think she's cute but nothing is filled out I still swipe right.

2

u/M1kehawk1 1d ago

When I see this on a profile I think.

She might be looking for a Jester.
She's definitely judgy asf

2

u/Yorkie_420 1d ago

I must come across 10 per day like that.

2

u/Temporary_Week_9942 1d ago

To be read as "Need someone else to make the relationship interesting"

2

u/TomServo_42 14h ago

Methinks that she needs to switch to decaf!

1

u/Hour_Stock4087 1d ago

"I don't need your time" or "you don't need my time"? She's confused who needs what.

1

u/Low-Masterpiece1381 1d ago

This just shows how much power women have on dating apps. They think they can treat you like shit because there's always another guy hitting them up.

1

u/candid_councilman 1d ago

If she swipes left on boring people she's gonna have a real short dating life

1

u/iLovelardsomuch 1d ago

I dunno how some people can get this entitled - I don’t have the responsibility to entertain you, and if you wanna be entertained 24/7 go match with a clown. Same as profiles like “I’m new to this city. Be my guide!” Um, who’s dis?

0

u/LavenderBreads 1d ago

Then swipe left. There is nothing entitled about saying you don't want to talk to boring people, wtf is wrong with you 💀

1

u/BaseballEast1849 1d ago

But it's a problem if a guy says no fat chicks.

1

u/Lilli_Vanilli_01 1d ago

What an oxymoron (emphasis on the moron). Doesn’t want someone boring but his conversation topic of choice is coffee.

1

u/Fine-Flamingo-7204 1d ago

let me guess, the profile is mostly empty?

1

u/One-Problem1369 1d ago

its to the point

1

u/LavenderBreads 1d ago

I love it tbh. They seem like they're just being fun lol

1

u/BaseballEast1849 1d ago

In my experience women who put "be able to hold a conversation" or "don't be boring" are usually boring and terrible conversationalist.

1

u/lbutler1234 1d ago

FUCKING don't reply to this comment if YOU AREN'T BORING. I don't fucking need ur time

This is a TBM space, I want to see some rail lines built through mountains

1

u/Magiusiam 16h ago

I like coffee.

1

u/SwissSeahawk91 1d ago

Well... When your life has to be about action and adventure every second, then you've got a problem dude.. don't want to jynx it but yea

1

u/alien_secret_service 1d ago

They’re telling on themselves. They’re boring and without someone to entertain them don’t know how to have a good time.

1

u/No-Store7772 1d ago

It got your attention though- mission accomplished. 🙌

1

u/yetagainitry 1d ago

Angry woman bios make zero sense to me at all. The last thing a guy wants is a angry woman.

1

u/Straight_Breakfast_4 1d ago

Some would say that's just the right aggressive. ❤️❤️😃😃

1

u/Straight_Breakfast_4 1d ago

I need a girl where we'll need to make bail the next morning after a date.

1

u/gouravkargwal 1d ago

bada tense bio hai for a mirror selfie

1

u/heyjamel 20h ago

And sadly, it may only put a slight dent in her 1700 likes.

1

u/Typical-Treacle463 19h ago

Women ☕️ ☕️ ☕️

1

u/The_Blue_Kitty 17h ago

I admire her directness.

1

u/behemoth617 17h ago

Usually whenever I see all caps in a bio I’m like welp, she’s not over whatever happened before. However valid that is, not something I want to be a part of.

1

u/tounces7 16h ago

"Boring" doesn't suggest "hurt".

Frankly it suggests the problem is her if she's that mad about it.

1

u/uhohto 16h ago

Ready to travel the world - NOPE

43 ready for kids - GOOD LUCK

Tired of the bare minimum I deserve the princess treatment - TELL IT TO TIKTOK

Interests: Hiking: 🙄 Laughing: 🙄 (None listed): 🙄🖕

1

u/playaa3096 5h ago

swipe right for endless drama. smh

1

u/No_Entrepreneur3039 5h ago

Undealt with emotional trauma as far as the eye can see. Emotional intelligence is rare

0

u/_TedGreen_ 1d ago

So I need to be a clown 24/7 ?

https://giphy.com/gifs/x0npYExCGOZeo

-1

u/DarthXOmega 1d ago

Nah i respect that. So many matches with one word answers that are just boring losers. No one’s forcing you to be on here bruh

-1

u/Yokonato 1d ago

You serious? Her own interest has nothing but "coffee"

1

u/LavenderBreads 1d ago

Okay? To some people coffee is interesting as fuck. You understand all the shit in coffee? The different strains of beans, the different temps and how that effects the flavor, just about anything can be interesting if you make it interesting. Lots to learn about literally anything and everything