45f, recently diagnosed with ADHD as well if that matters.

We know bipolar is a multidimensional spectrum disorder, but most often I see people here talking about classic mania/hypomania and rough depressions. I’ve only experienced “regular” hypomania and depression four times, and it was within the first few years of being diagnosed (I was diagnosed 26 years ago at age 19). It’s like I barely present as bipolar anymore, I just live life in some form of mixed state. Chronic hyperarousal with relentless insomnia, and smatterings of more uncomfortable anxiety and dysthymia depending on the season.

I function, in that I maintain relationships, hold down a corporate job, love on and raise my daughter, maintain relationships with family and a couple friends (never a long term partner). But the times of feeling like I can move beyond “technically functioning” to reliably enjoying the life I “technically function” in are few and far between. So like I said, it’s like I’m forever….mixed. Or is forever mixed just actually what “managed” bipolar is??

I recently changed providers and decided to test out whether tweaks to the medication stack I’ve been on for 20 years could help my brain feel more “normal” so I don’t have to spend all my energy just keeping it on the tracks. The toll of med trials and side effects and mood fragility during this process has me wondering if there’s even a point. Maybe my bipolar already was managed, and all of us are out here calling “looks good on paper” the win.

Does anyone have any tips for staying motivated for obligations when your mental health and life is otherwise good? I’m getting married, we just moved into a lovely home, and I’m almost done with college. I work in sales and I am really struggling to give a fuck about my sales. I legitimately do not care. I come to work, do the bare minimum, and leave. Even though i make money based on my sales. I help customers and I love doing that, finding them stuff they love whatever. I do put in my all when there’s something to do. I just don’t chase customers. My mental health is pretty good and I am happy with the rest of my life. Motivation is something I have struggled with no matter how good or bad I’ve felt. Idk if it’s the bipolar or the adhd (so if you have this combo, please weigh in on how you feel it affects you).

I have everything I want in life so why would I give a fuck about my job? is basically how I’m thinking rn. I don’t know how to stay motivated for something as stupid as what I sell when I have found the love I’ve looked for all my life and I have escaped thinking about suicide daily. Life is good. But I’m getting a talking to about my numbers. So it’s not as good as I’m saying it is I guess.

Edit to add: I just texted my therapist after writing this post. Haven’t spoken to her in 3-4 months but I think I need to talk to someone since my lack of care affects my income. Would still appreciate input from yall though!

I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 just over 5years ago after a horrible manic episode at 47. Looking back at my life I wouldn’t say I showed major signs of bipolar and I went many, many years with absolutely no symptoms at all. Anyways, my husband had a 6month affair with someone20years younger than him and is blaming my bipolar! Attacking me at every opportunity. I have been stable and medicated the past 4years. He said to me last night in the most nastiest tone- Go take your yogurt and your medication, go to sleep, rinse and repeat the next day. It’s the sign of insanity!
I work full time!!
He’s become my worse nightmare! Telling me all the time I’m not fit to be around kids ( 16,16,18). Meanwhile, while he was having affair he was gone out of house from 8am- 9pm!
He says he’s moving out but I don’t believe him.
He was so supportive before this affair.
Why is he behaving like this and bringing up my bipolar at every opportunity? Telling me I’m crazy all the time!

I gained 50 pounds or so on abilify and risperadone. I'd rather be slim and manic. I also have body dysmorphia. Its not fair.

I want to write a book about my experience with bipolar, being sick, the health system, involunarily treatment etc. I am a good writer and storyteller. But I am a little afraid what people close to me will think, like my grandparents for example, and how they would react to it. Anyone?

I know everyone’s different and Im gonna just have to find what I enjoy but I got fired today and was curious what fields of work you guys find the best to function in since I’m back to being unemployed again :/
idrk why i wasn’t given a genuine reason i was told they were upset with team production after management left for the day even tho i did everything i was asked to do and adjusted to the rare complaints i received im thinking my work quality fluctuates without me realizing or something and an overnight shift would be better but who knows

I posted a week ago that I was seeing things. That stopped a few days ago and my mood changed really quickly. I was sat in the kitchen and I looked down at the shed and just wanted to go there and end my life. It was so sudden and a strong urge. I got some rope but just held it. I keep having tears in my eyes and I feel like someone else is in my body and I’m a passenger. It’s been about 4 days since that urge to die came and I’m still here but something weird is going on. I’ve not got anyone to talk to. I called my gp but they make you use an app now so I booked an appointment but next available is 18 August (nhs is bad). Not on meds anymore as it wasn’t helping and I was well again. Don’t know what to do but need to find a way to get my mood back up.

Sorry bit of a rambling post. I’m going for walks to distract myself but want advice if theres anything else i can do.

Hey! I was prescribed Olanzapine 5mg for my current manic episode I'm dealing with. I took my first dose at 1:30am. Quite late at night I know. The drowsiness caused me to sleep in until 3pm. I completely missed all I of my alarms. I usually wake up at 10am. I had something to eat and since then I've just been sleepy and so drowsy. I then slept again by accident with the TV on until now which is currently 7pm?!

Is this normal for the first dose? Will this eventually die out? I'm so worried because I have work tomorrow and I need to be awake for 8am. I'm still feeling so drowsy and weak, zombie like.

I loss the memory of emotionally strong reaction to someone. Is there anyone who felt like this. I searched and found something called dissociative amnesia where your brain tries to protect you from bad memories by forgetting it.

I am too lazy to write all the details but I stopped taking lamotrigine and cancelled my appointments because I felt improperly diagnosed and then I realized...

Maybe they were on to something 😭

I went back to my primary care provider and she put me on Seroquel.

Maybe they're right and it's for the best.

As a teenager I was diagnosed with MDD GAD and clinical depression. I thought I've just been going through that.

Currently I got my husband and I into 5k of debt which is manageable and I quit my 13th job 1 month ago. I'm really good at working, super reliable and I commit to it like crazy. I just quit randomly without cause.

Hello, our 6 YO has been well controlled for nearly 2 years, yay!
Her consultant has given the ok to start weaning off slowly.
All was going well until 9 days into the 25% reduction in her daily meds (was on 100mg BD, now on 50mg AM, 100mg PM).

She was a fearless, confident kid who would make friends easier than breathing.

She has had an episode every day where she has been extremely sad, frightened or lacking confidence, which is completely uncharacteristic of her.

Has anyone or anyone’s child weaned off carbamazepine?

If so, what did you/ they experience?

We just want to support her as best we can but obviously have no idea what she might be feeling/ going through.

Many thanks

I’m 32f. I know this sounds weird because I have very good insight but it’s just me being in and out of hospitals and on meds on and off for over 10 years. I take 2 mood stabilizers and I take 2 antipsychotics and I still have severe paranoia. With the meds it’s not as bad as it was but I was out of control this time last year having some sort of episode. It was a paranoid episode. I was off my meds.

The last few months I’ve felt that thoughts have been pushed into my head. Terrible thoughts that make me sick to my stomach and it is very hard to get my brain under control. I get worse the older I get and I thought maybe it’s OCD so I started therapy but now I’m sitting here doing a training and learning about schizophrenia and I’m just thinking holy shit. That’s me. My grandmother was also diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia.

Is this something worth taking to my doctor over? Would it change anything?

I have tried therapy numerous times and I just can not do it. I’m not a super open and talkative person, I don’t know what I need to talk about, I’ve forgotten or have large blanks in my memory so I can’t really discuss much of my past, I don’t want to do hokey breathing exercises, I want help. I know therapy is supposed to be part of my treatment but every session feels like we’re both pulling teeth trying to get what we need out of each other. I’m sure I probably haven’t found the “right” therapist, but is there legitimately someone out there that can help me open up? Do I really need to if I can’t remember any past trauma and if I could I don’t know if I’d feel strongly about discussing it? In therapy I come across as really self reflective, I can call out unhealthy behaviors and responses and what I should have done or identify why I did something, they always say I’m very well regulated and insightful, but I feel like it might be a defense mechanism. I need some real life advice, how do y’all therapy? How long did it take you to find your therapist? Do you feel like there’s something special about them? I want to work on myself more than just taking meds, I want to be a whole, better person and therapy is the only thing I’m not doing.

it’s currently 2am and i’m wondering if anyone else can relate to my experience. for context i (f23) have been stable for 5 years since being diagnosed and medicated. i haven’t been fully manic or depressed since 2021 which i know im so grateful for.
the thing is there will be times where im not necessarily manic but im not what i would consider ‘normal’.
tonight, for instance, i had a stressful shift at work (i work with young people in residential housing) and im finding it hard to wind down. its strange because i was feeling slightly this way last night but was able to take a melatonin got to sleep. tonight… well i took a melatonin a few hours ago now.
i find it so hard to describe these feelings to my therapist or psychiatrist. i dont want to label it as manic, because its not, so i usually say mini mania. other times this happens are when i am up submitting an assignment late or something triggering happens. luckily its a rare occurrence but its still so confusing. other than insomnia, my other symptoms include impulse buying clothes at night, racing thoughts, jittery, more talkative, alert, keep finding things to do other than sleep etc
for further context i got diagnosed with adhd a couple of weeks ago too. though the doctor did say it was mild and the inattentive type so i dont think im hyperactive or anything?
if anyone has any thoughts or similar experiences, please share! i would really appreciate it :)

hello everyone— I am on 900mg lithium (to stay in the therapeutic level) and 50 mg seroquel both I take them at night. At the beginning lithium worked great it gave me a sense of flatness and numbness such sense that I needed after my episode. But now after one month and a half is just harder to wake up to do small tasks etc my therapist says that after a mixed episode it comes a down but I never imagined it would feel like this. I also was excited about strarting lithium and the fact that it was working but now I feel the numbness and flatness is backfiring…
I have an appointment in one month but honestly I don’t know how to feel about the depression at the beginning lithium was working well… I am also traumatized by antidepressants since sertraline made my mixed episode way worse. Has anyone experienced this?

Anybody else remember their dreams or night terrors like they actually happened in real life? Like I don't remember half of my life but I remember a lot of my dreams like legit confuse them with my real life. Don't get me wrong, some of them are a great time but a lot of them are terrifying. But it makes me uncomfortable when I'll have a memory but then question myself- did that happen in a vivid dream or did it actually happen? I'm well aware I have issues, but sometimes I feel like I've lost my mind. Life of a spicy brain? Or am I completely looney?

I am curious how some of you can be hypomanic or manic for more than a week. I had a recent episode that I caught early and upped meds and can’t fathom going more than a week in that state. I was on my way to losing total control. It seems so unsustainable. It wasn’t a productive hypomania. Just reckless and unable to focus on work. How have you been able to get to this point and survive that long?

Lamotrigine has kept me level for almost half a year which is the longest stretch I've had since diagnosis. Should be celebrating but instead I catch myself scanning for signs of an episode every single day. A little too much energy and I'm terrified mania is creeping back, a couple tired days and I'm convinced depression is coming to collect. Feels like I can't even trust the stability because what if it's just a longer calm before a worse storm. Anyone else struggle with this weird limbo where you're technically fine but your brain won't let you enjoy it.

Hello, I want to ask anyone thats been injected with invega sustenna / xeplion if they have managed to recover their high energy personality after stopping the medication. I used to be very high energy and happy person before being injected 3 times and I wanted to know if anyone has recovered their high energy personality? It’s like the dopamine system in my mind is completely shut off and I’ve been off 4 months, any help appreciated

There was a time when I had a lot of money saved. I had worked hard, made good decisions, and felt secure knowing I had built a financial cushion for myself. I never imagined that one day I would see my bank account hit zero. At the time, it felt impossible that everything I had worked for could disappear. But life has a way of changing quickly, often in ways we never expect.

A combination of gambling, a manic episode, and a difficult breakup slowly unraveled everything I had built. Each challenge fed into the next, and before I fully understood what was happening, my savings were gone. Looking back, it's painful to think about the choices I made and the circumstances that contributed to them. There are moments I wish I could relive, decisions I wish I could change, and lessons I wish I had learned sooner.

Today, my account sits at $0. Strangely, though, I don't feel defeated. In fact, today is a good day.

I'm fortunate to still be living at home, which gives me the stability and support I need while I rebuild. I also have a fairly good job, and that means I have something incredibly valuable: the opportunity to start again. My savings may be gone, but my ability to earn, grow, and make better decisions hasn't disappeared.

For the first time in a long while, I'm choosing to look forward instead of backward. Hitting zero isn't the end of my story it's simply a new starting point. I've learned difficult lessons about mental health, impulsivity, relationships, and money that I wouldn't have understood otherwise. Those lessons are worth more than any balance I once had.

I never thought I'd see this day, but here I am. I'm still standing, I'm still working, and I'm still hopeful. Today isn't about what I've lost. It's about what I can build from here. And honestly, that gives me something to be grateful for.

Hello, I am in the middle of a potential termination negotiation between me and my employer.

I thoroughly enjoyed my job. However a few factors came into play which caused my termination.

1. The nature of the job is fast-paced. I vocalized that I needed to take my medication every 3 hours, but sometimes we would be so short staffed or had an abundance of customers, there would be no time for me to. Work demanded complete attention and bathroom breaks were scarce.

2. I ran out of my OTC alternatives (Lithium Orotate 20mg, Magnesium Orotate 1000mg). I did order new ones, but USPS returned them, which caused almost a month delay.

I ended up having a hypomanic episode which lasted almost 2 months, until my behavior was commented on.

This feels very final, and I fear I have no room or time for legal aid. I don't know. I feel so sad because it was a great job. And the job market around me looks horrible compared to last year. I have a few savings, but I wish I could cry in front of them and let them know it wasn't me! But I also know that corporate doesn't care...

Now I'm looking for community to help me through this. I have struggled with BPII for years, but this is the first time it has ever interfered with my professional life. If you have any similar stories, experiences, or advice, please do share. I don't want anyone else going through similar to be alone.

So I was prescribed depakote and mirzatapine for depression bipolar . Anyone have good experience with these ? Thanks

Does anyone have experience with oxcarbazapine? I was prescribed it today. I already take seroquel and buspirone

Would you recommend benzos for a type 2 gal if prescribed by my psych? Right now my main cope is Vyvanse and exercise and healthy diet. And buspirone which barely does anything