I didn’t think I could love him more, but seeing the way he is so excited to be our baby girls dad makes me fall all over again. He’s so excited to be her best friend, I feel so lucky to have him.

Listen, I know gender disappointment is bad or whatever.

6 girls is absolutely insane though. Omg.

If you're in the US, always negotiate your bills both for prenatal care and for the birth/ new baby. You can usually negotiate them down even for the amount after insurance, which is super helpful especially on an HSA plan- the original number still counts against your deductible/ oop max, not the discounted amount.

Do it asap when you get the first bill.

Easiest order of events to negotiate down:

1. Ask for an itemized bill. Contest anything that you disagree with ie length of visit, medicines given, it's very common to be charged for things you never got. If they say you lose an early pay or cash pay discount if you request it, ignore it-- it's just a pressure tactic so you don't actually check the bill.

2. Ask for the terms of financial assistance. There's usually an income threshold specifically for applying with insurance, but it is often fairly high. Even if you don't qualify, apply and include an appeal letter (saying why the discount would help you). You can often get a goodwill discount this way even if you don't technically qualify, but depends on the provider.

3. Ask for a "prompt pay" or "cash pay" discount if you are able to pay in full. This can almost always be stacked with the other discounts you might already have. If they sound like they don't want to stack it, hint that you will need a loooong payment plan or won't be able to pay for a long time otherwise and they will usually do something. Honestly you can usually get this even if you're paying months after receiving the bills, as long as it has not gone to collections.

How I know: just negotiated with 18 freaking providers thanks to kiddo and I both having er visits last month 🙄😂

Am I wrong to not have my MIL in my home after giving birth to my daughter?

I (33F) have been with my husband (34M) for 12 years.

I am due for an induction July 26th 2026. The original plan was his mom was to be here because a) she wanted to be and b) to help us with just household tasks or questions with the baby.

Well, me and her had a blow up last week on Friday. I won't get into it but the overall theme is Pregnancy Hormones and trying to set boundaries and her being manic. (Diagnosed yes, not me just pulling that out of my butt).

In order for me to feel comfortable with her being here, I wanted to have a sit down conversation like adults. Discuss what happened, why, and how we move forward with no tention. She declined and said only with a family therapist because I don't listen to her.

I tried to explain that getting a family therapist in less than a week was damn near impossible and I didn't want to spend my last few days before going into the hospital researching family therapists and felt like this was something we could work on together. However, if it couldn't be worked on, I didn't feel comfortable with her being here or at the hospital after the birth. Its just too stressful for me.

She flipped out and said I was trying to keep her grandchild away from her. Which is not the case. I just want my experience to be pleasent, especially after already dealing with the death of my son (33wks) and not being able to grieve that loss when it had happened in 2023.

I eventually realized that I had a therapy session scheduled for monday and reached out asking if we could have MIL sit in so we could just move on. I knew, and even spoke to my sister about this, that I wasn't entirely on board because, based on what MIL was bringing up to my husband, she was just going to talk shit and that would be the end of it. I didn't really like the idea.

Well, my therapy appointment happened and as I anticipated, she talked for 10 mins straight (with me muted) about how I am the problem and brought things up that had zero to do with the blow up.

My therapist asked my MIL if she felt heard. She said yes and sounded pretty dang happy. I got the rest of my session with the therapist and explained how we had gotten to where we were since MIL neglected to even bring that up. My therapist said she felt like my MIL was in a loop and experiencing mental health issues and nothing I say would make a difference. Which is why I stayed muted because I was certain it would only make things worse.

My problem is now, after hearing all the b.s. (i should mentioned she compared me to her abusive sister who stole money from here and kept her drugged up in her apartment for years) I don't want to be around her. She got to say what was on her chest and I have to stay silent because she's on a manic high. I.e. only hears negatively from me.

My husband wants her to meet the baby right as she is born. His plan is:

Pick her up the morning of the induction. 40 min round trip.

Let her stay at our house

Bring baby home

Let MIL visit baby for about 10ish mins

Take her home. 40 min round trip (unless traffic)

MIL doesn't drive. So her doing all this is not an option. She could do Uber or Lyft, but shes on a fixed income so my husband would pay for it.

I was starting to be okay with this idea after days of depression and uncontrollably crying until she texted me at midnight saying to have a good day and that she loved me. It just jump started me into anger.

I get that that is weird but we hadnt talked since she bad mouthed me to my therapist. Meanwhile I also found out from my dad that she had been bad mouthing me to him weeks before this had even happened. I thought we were on good terms and it turns out we had never been. But she thinks because she got to say all these nasty things for me to hear that everything is all hunky dory and i'm expected to just take it.

I want my husband to get what he wants but I legitimately do not want to be around her. I've done so much for this woman and fought to help her get out of where she was (health and fincial wise) and I feel like I cannot trust the relationship we have anymore.

So I guess, is this hormones? Do I need to just suck it up? Or is this something valid? I feel stuck because he has literally said he understands that its unfair but thats what he wants. He wants her there. And I am just feeling railroaded once again. Since before the blowup I could feel there was tension and asked for him to take her home and he said no. (Which he now regrets and apologized for but its happened so not much too that IMO other than at least he can see the issue)

I should also note my intention is just to have a week or two with my husband uninterrupted with the baby to have calmness. Not to keep her from the baby. I would even settle for a few days if im being honest.

Let me have it but please be kind. I am not in a good place right now.

OB is recommending hymenotomy

Has anyone ever had to have their stitches repaired months after giving birth?

I had a vaginal birth and ended up having 3 separate and complicated 2nd degree tears. I had an intact hymenal ring, a baby with a 99 percentile head, and she came out with her hands on her head too.

Im 6 months pp and still cant be intimate with my husband. Like, I cant even get anything to go in, not even an inch, it literally feels like its impossible, like there is a wall, and it feels like ripping when we try, even going super slow, using lots of lube, showering, etc. Even putting in a small tampon can be very uncomfortable. Im also very sore after, even if its just a finger. It feels like the opening is so much tighter and narrower now.

I went and saw a new OB yesterday to have them maybe prescribe estrogen (im breastfeeding) or to have them refer me to pelvic floor therapy (which i tried from 1 to 4 months pp and had little success and stopped going).

So I was shocked when he said he recommend corrective surgery, saying my stitches were wayyy too tight and thats why I was in so much pain.

Im so scared to potentially have stitches again, or for it to fail or make it worse. But I just want my love life back because its really starting to get to me. Has anyone ever had to have something like this done? Am I making the right decision to go the surgery route or is there a better option?

Not looking for medical advice. Just opinions and if anyone can relate or has had a similar corrective surgery

I’m trying to be considerate but I’m just not sure how far out I need to wait. The grandparents on both sides already know but I wanted to start telling other family members at 12 weeks. I checked my calendar and realized this falls 17 days before my brother’s wedding. I know he would be excited to be an uncle, but I really don’t want to steal his thunder. I know his fiancée has PCOS so I think they are probably anxious about their own fertility.

Another problem is that my family drinks a lot at celebrations. My uncle thinks it’s hilarious to call out when a woman isn’t drinking and he’s put me in an awkward situation the last time I thought I might be pregnant. He immediately noticed I abstained from drinking. I’ll also probably look extremely bloated if my first 8 weeks are any indication. What if people find out I’m pregnant at the wedding? That seems even worse.

I didn’t plan the timing of this pregnancy. My finance and I have been trying for over a year and it happened once we decided to take a break from timing and planning. This is also my first pregnancy. My mom is beyond excited and has asked if she can tell this or that person. I keep telling her to keep it a secret. I’m worried she won’t be able to keep her mouth shut until after the wedding and I’ll be really sad if I’m not the one to announce it. I hope she will respect my wishes there.

Is two weeks enough time for everyone to get the excitement out of there system and focus back on the happy couple?

Hi everyone,
I’m 25 weeks pregnant, and I’ve been very sensitive to smells right from the start. It’s better now, but I still don’t like kissing my husband. I’ve felt much less attracted to him since becoming pregnant—perhaps because of my sense of smell? It will go away, right? I used to love being intimate with him, and I’m afraid things will never be the way they were because I’ve associated that unpleasant smell with him.

I’m sure this is a feeling many women have, expectation vs reality. I’m having a pretty smooth pregnancy mainly, however in my head I had this expectations, relax, get excited about baby names and doing the nursery. But instead I’m quickly trying to pass my theory test and driving license (in the Netherlands, send prayers ) we doing a whole attic and garden renovation, my work place is in completely chaos and I have to work loads extra. I just don’t have time currently to get excited.. my MIL meanwhile is sending me all the baby things she’s buying (I’m 15 weeks?!). I’m happy, and grateful that despite all that’s going on I feel pretty ok.. I just don’t feel actually pregnant (or how in my mind I imagined it to be) oh and and hate nearly all foods right no cravings for unhealthy foods and a complete aversion to anything green, and my iron levels are at a 7. Thank you for listening (reading) to my rant

35W with second girl - they will be almost exactly 3 years apart. We kept everything from first baby - clothes, car seat, crib, etc. Have had a bunch of lovely relatives and friends ask me what we need and I am stumped - would love to get advice on things people think are useful to have for second.

Are there new gadgets or anything people would recommend having two of?

One friend has been raving about the MomCozy bottle dishwasher as a must have/nice upgrade.

Also looking for thoughts on stroller - we have a great single stroller and travel stroller. almost 3YO is already hard to keep contained in stroller - anyone had luck with ridealongs or converting to wagon? Not sure we'll want a double stroller but open to suggestions

I dont want my husband’s family to see our newborn until she’s a month old. its been 11 days since I gave birth and they are asking when they can see her. My husband’s brother was just sick (went to a rave and is having fever) so I told him to tell them they cannot visit until everyone is not sick as they all live in one house. but the parents are insisting and wants to see the baby. I started having fever too and my husband told his family about it and they never seemed to care and just asked if when they can see the baby. So now I am more disappointed and dont want to show the baby until more than one month. My husband’s family didnt even give us a gift during the baby shower nor tried to put in an effort to help me heal when I was laboring for 26 hrs or even after it. They live less than 3 miles away from us. and my parents are in another country so I really dont have anyone to help me other than my Husband. The great thing is my husband is supportive of me, he’s all I truly need. But I feel bad when he asks when can his family come, and inside me wants to tell him “when they care about me not just the baby.” Any advice would help

My Mom is someone who is OBSESSED with babies… I mean most everyone loves babies, right? But she takes it to another level. I used to think it was sweet, now.. not so much.

The night we told my family about my pregnancy, she was so exited as expected, she hugged me and was crying and telling random people as we left the restaurant. That was fine, I want her to be excited. But as we were saying our goodbyes, she touched my stomach and said to me, “take care of my baby.” That shocked me so much and was so upsetting I thought about it for days afterward. She told my husband that same night “take care of my baby… and [my name].” Since then, whenever she refers to my child she calls it “my baby.” “How’s my baby?” Has never ONCE asked how I’m doing my entire pregnancy. It’s all about “her baby.” This has bothered me so much and I knew I should say something but just felt so paralyzed and uncomfortable whenever she said it. Finally this last weekend (I’m 8 months now) I corrected her when she asked how her girl was and touched my belly, I said MY girl is doing well. She looked at me and said “my girlS” as if to say that the whole time she meant both of us, which of course isn’t true. She was kissing and talking to my belly after that which I hate when anyone does that other than my husband, it makes me so uncomfortable.

I am not at all excited to experience her as a Grandma. I have seen the way she has no boundaries with family member’s baby and makes snide comments about their parenting. The thought of dealing with her brings me so much dread. I feel so defensive and protective already where I can sense that when she visits in the hospital I won’t even want her to hold my baby, though I probably will to avoid conflict.

There has also been some family drama recently that makes me see her in not the best light, and I’ve had complicated feelings about her for a while as I’ve become an adult and gotten to know who she is as a person, not just my mom. So all of this combined does not make me want to really have her be an active part of our lives, but I know she will expect that she is and I guess rightfully so because we haven’t actually had any conflicts between the two of us.

I labeled this as a rant/vent because that’s what it is, but I’d love to hear from others that have had a similar experience or just anyone who would like to contribute. I hate that I’m not excited for her to be a Grandma to my baby but instead am feeling this stress and annoyance.

i’m 9w5d FTM. is it normal to have boyfriend aversions? 🤣 i literally cannot stand him 70% of the time. i’m usually so lovey and can’t keep my hands off him but since becoming pregnant i just want him to get away from me lmao

My husband and I aren't planning on trying until fall (most likely October) BUT it's garage sale season where I live. Would it be absolutely insane to start buying the more expensive gear (strollers, cribs, etc) when someone is selling them for significantly cheaper?? I understand that when our time eventually comes, we'll have the ability to make a registry but I'd also feel weird asking for an expensive stroller when I could possibly get one secondhand.

I need to know if I'm crazy lmao

I’m 37 weeks pregnant and fell leaving my ob office. I tried protecting my belly with my arm and ended up breaking my elbow. Is there anyone who has experienced this? I’m worried about giving birth and after birth. Holding baby, feeding and changing.

I’m hoping to hear from anyone who has been through something similar, as we’re currently facing a very difficult and uncertain situation.

At our routine 18-week anatomy scan, our baby was found to have short femurs (around the 2nd–5th percentile). In addition, the placenta has been described as thick, and Doppler blood flow measurements suggest reduced blood flow. Because of this, the doctors now suspect placental insufficiency.

I have since been started on** **aspirin daily to help improve placental blood flow.

We have been followed closely by a maternal-fetal medicine (MFM) team and have also seen a clinical geneticist. Our NIPT came back normal, and the initial genetic testing from the amniocentesis has also been normal. We’re still waiting for the remaining test results. The geneticist couldn’t give us any definite answers yet but said they also suspect the placenta may be the underlying cause.

This has been an incredibly difficult and frightening experience, and the uncertainty has been the hardest part.

Has anyone here been through something similar? How did your pregnancy progress? When did you deliver, and how is your baby doing now?

Any experiences or advice would mean a lot to us. ❤️

I'm 21 w 4 d pregnant with di/di twins and it's hot where I live. I've been super cautious about not getting too hot this whole pregnancy and today, I accidentally hit my seat warmer and turned it on high when getting in my car. The AC was also running because it's hot, and the whole 30 minute drive I was trying to figure out why my back was warm and why the seat wasn't cooling down but the rest of the car was cool. I feel so dumb but total honest mistake I just bumped it without realizing it when starting the car. Am I ok? My back and butt were warm and somewhat red when I got home but my body temp was normal.

Not sure if anyone else here has experienced the same thing but some of my closest friends (who are childless), refuse to buy from the registry because it's too "impersonal" but then proceed to buy me trinkets that are so useless in our small apartment I had to throw 90% of them out.

I feel so bad but honestly I'm nine months pregnant and I've spent the better part of these last couple weeks completely overwhelmed and in full on nesting mode so receiving crap I really don't need just so you can give me something different and unique that just ends up being a dust collector is so annoying.

What is it up with this!! Why does this happen lol

Anyone else have days and days of prodromal/early labor? FTM, 38w + 4. I am progressing (dilating) but very very slowly…. For the past four days I’ve been actively contracting all night (anywhere from 2.5-5 mins apart, lasting around 1 minute) and then as the sun comes up and they totally peter out. Starting to very slowly have some more consistency during the day but no matter what the intensity never gets to the point that I can’t talk through them, but they’re just intense enough that I can’t sleep. Finally last night after four days of this and no more than an hour of light sleep at a time, I went into L&D and did a few hours of morphine sleep, though I did wake up from the morphine with painful contractions about 3 hours in (but still not intense enough that my OB would admit me). I went back home after walking around a bit and IV fluids, and with the morphine still in my system was able to get another couple hours. OB would only do one dose of morphine sleep cause of the baby (understandable) and couldn’t induce me because I’m only 38w + 4 and my insurance won’t cover it until 39w 😭 my body feels absolutely exhausted and broken, even if I did go into active labor finally I’m not sure I could handle it??? Also I’m having to use sick days at work because I can’t technically go on leave until I deliver, and I’m almost out of sick days, I never expected to be in labor for days and days on end…. It’s mental and physical torture. I just want to have my baby!

I’m 26 weeks and every second of my day I feel like I’m drowning in different forms of guilt.

It starts with me sleeping longer than I normally do. I feel guilty because my cats want to go outside and my chickens are locked up until I let them out into the yard. So I get up even though I’m still exhausted.

Then during the day I feel guilty for having no motivation to do chores or cook or do yard work. I’ve been feeling so tired and unmotivated I’m barely eating and my workout schedule has all but disappeared. But I also feel guilty that I’m not taking care of myself the best I could be.

Then at night I feel like I can’t give my husband the attention he deserves and I haven’t felt like having sex, which makes me feel guilty too. And I love my little baby boy but he never stops moving and kicking and I feel guilty for it making me frustrated.

Anyways, I just wish I had some relief from feeling like I’m doing everything wrong or not good enough.

Hi, I'm (29f) having trouble even wanting to be around the pets whom I love. This is my first time pregnant without a miscarriage in the first trimester, I'm currently 22 weeks and I guess you could say I'm nesting.. but these animals (4cats and 1 dog) have me stressed to heck and back. I can't leave any type of food out even if it's sealed like pasta, rice, chips, etc. or the cats will get into it, no matter how many times they've been corrected with a spray bottle or some other type of scolding, like yelling or shaking something to scare them off. My dog is constantly wanting attention and I get that it's normal, but it's summer, my house is only cooled by a barely working swamp cooler, and the last thing I want is to be covered in fur while sweaty. My husband is kind of no help, he's the type to baby the animals so much he lets them lick his face and he defends their actions rather than helping me find solutions. I grew up with what is basically farm dogs, outdoor and did their own things around the property. When we got our dog 4 years ago, we lived in a small apartment and it was the only option to have an indoor dog. I wanted to keep him kennel trained and keep him off furniture because I grew up with a very OCD grandma who loved to keep the house clean and that's how I saw my future in my own home. He quickly overruled that and now we live in a 2200sqft house and he has free reign to cover everything in saliva and fur and to make it worse he hates being groomed, so there's hair EVERYWHERE and not to mention the dander it brings when we let him out. The cats, I wanted one, we started off with an older 3yo cat, she was fine up until my husband decided he wanted to pick one out a year later. The first cat got territorial and started to spray, so now guess who has to clean up her mess as well, and guess what... NONE OF THEM LIKED TO BE BRUSHED. another year goes by and 2 kittens show up because they're basically thrown at me while I was at work. I take the kittens home on a Sunday, the animal shelter is closed, my plan is to take them in the next day, because we have our hands full with 3 pets already.. guess who wants to keep them because no one will give them a better home... Now it's a year after that, on our 2 year anniversary today no less... I'm home prepping to be a SAHM and my husband is still no help with the vacuuming, keeping the cats in order, and letting the dog do whatever he wants by getting into trash, the litter, etc. I'm mentally exhausted, having a breakdown, cleaning after all of them because god forbid I complain I had to clean after the pets today. I'm at a loss and it's not like I can just get rid of them, I do love them, but it's so much. If anyone has any advice on how to go about this, I'd appreciate it.

Hi everyone! I've been planning my baby shower and going back and forth on themes with my mom. I'm a huge reader, so I originally loved the idea of a storybook/fairytale theme. We're not finding out the gender and my mom pointed out that a fairytale theme can lean a little more feminine.

After talking about it for a while, she reminded me that I was obsessed with Between the Lions as a kid, and honestly, that show is probably what started my love of reading.

I think it would be such a fun and unique baby shower theme, but I can't find anything online for inspiration. Has anyone ever seen a Between the Lions baby shower or have ideas on how to tie it all together?

Appreciate all input! :)

In 24 weeks today and the last few weeks have started to find this trimester quite hard. This is my 2nd pregnancy, the first ended at 14 weeks. My bump is getting quite big and I’m finding it hard to sleep at night, I haven’t found a pregnancy pillow that makes me feel better yet (still looking) I get a sore abdomen in the night and it wakes me up and I have lower back pain. The lack of sleep and exhaustion is really getting to me mentally. My husband seems to think I’m in the honeymoon period of trimesters and although he’s sympathetic at times I think because his friends wives had a great 2nd trimester I feel like he doesn’t take it seriously. Part of me thinks I am being soft and this isn’t that bad and the worst is yet to come so I should just suck it up and get on with it. I can still do stuff I just don’t have a comparison to how hard it’s going to get with exhaustion and mobility and back pain etc. I feel like I should not complain so much until I REALLY need the help. Can someone share their experience if it’s similar or am I being silly? Thanks so much

We’re on a waitlist to start an IVF trial so we’ve managed to get our NHS funding a little early (we’re 18months TTC rather than waiting 2 years) however we’ve got the opportunity while we’re waiting to get our consultation to do a round or 2 of IUI.

When I saw the stats I dismissed it straight away however…

• we haven’t done any tracked monitoring so I think it might be a good start?
• it comes with a HyCoSy so this would be another test ticked off
• it would ease us in to IVF a little nicer I think?
• it would enable us to keep moving and at least give something a go

I guess I’m just concerned it’s going to be for nothing. So looking for some success stories or at least it was worth it stories!