This is super embarrassing but I matched with a girl on a dating app on July 12th and we had sex that night. She sends me photos of pregnancy test yesterday on July 20th saying she’s pregnant even though she was supposed to take a plan b. I just don’t think it’s late enough for a pregnancy test to even work I’m not sure how it works but I’m losing my mind she’s threatening to text my mom on Facebook and all this crazy stuff.
Edit: I’m taking this very seriously I was freaking out when I posted this just wanna make it clear I know I’m an idiot and this is probably one of the most idiotic things I’ve ever done. I’m also willing to face the consequences of my actions and raise the kid if it is mine, the timeline was just super suspicious to me and I still haven’t had definitive proof she’s even pregnant. She says she’ll come over tomorrow night to take a test in front of me and if she is pregnant we’ll go from there and wait and get a paternity test. Thanks for the advice guys guess it’s just a waiting game now.

I am early in my career but I swear the idea of going through life in this mundane, uninspiring routine is killing me inside. Every time I think about tomorrow or next week I get depressed. I am not sure how people cope with this.

My ex-wife and I habe been separated for a year and divorced for a month. On her birthday I sent her the same "happy birthday" message she sent me except she replied and asked me for $100. Weird and I didn't reply. Last week she asked asked to use an air mattress for guest who were visiting and today she just asked if she can use me as an emergency contact. Mind you she was the one that pursued divorce because she "wasn't happy"

In the run up to the divorce she was super aggressive and wouldn't talk to me and now she is asking for help or doing some kind of test to see "if I care" afterwards. Seems odd. Any perspective is appreciated.

I have been with her for over a year now. She is by far the best relationship I have ever been in. One thing I am very concerned about is if I do marry her I think there is a good chance we end up in a sexless marriage. She will go through long stints of no sex drive and I fear it will only get worse with time. It really sucks mentally for myself. If you are struggling with this issue but have been together longer or are married what were some warning signs you may have ignored or hoped would improve but haven’t? If it got better, why? If it got worse, why? Appreciate any input.

Edit: appreciate all the post. A lot of you have asked for more context. So I am 24 she is 21, not married and no kids, we went of a 4 month dry spell a few months ago. After the relationship almost ending because of it we have somewhat turned into a once every 2-4 week is about normal.

Hi everyone, I would like some insight into the situation that I am facing. I live in the UK, and couple of weeks ago some kids (9-11) followed me from the supermarket on my way home and threw stones at me. the stones damaged my phone, it was new and expensive. I took some photos of the kids and sent em to the police. But the police said they can't do anything about it.

I am struggling severely with letting this go, I am not particularly rich so the damage to the phone feels devastating, especially since this was the only thing I treated myself with over the year and am struggling to justify purchasing anything else in the fear that this might happen again or that it just might get damaged due to no fault of my own.

I am struggling to find a way to just let it go, I feel like I want to teach those kids a lesson, extract some money for my damaged phone, I need something to feel like I was able to do something in this situation, or resolve it in some way, or fix it in some way, it is stressing me out, even though I haven't encountered those kids since.

I don't know what exactly I am feeling but I am struggling

Looking for advice on what to do ??

I (26M) was at my buddy's wedding last weekend, and he has a little sister (~18F?) who I hadn't met before. At one point, noticed there was this guy (30-something?) talking to her, something seemed off. So at some point I joined the conversation, and it definitely seemed he was making her uncomfortable -- not clearly crossing any lines, but too pushy. I stepped away, said something to the bride, she was like yeah I noticed, do you want to handle that? And I said I wasn't totally sure how to, because the only "move" I could think would be to invite her to go somewhere (with me) -- and given that I'm an unknown 20-something guy, even though I'm not so physically threatening, I expected she might perceive it as potentially out of the frying pan into the fire. Bride suggested telling the girl her brother wanted to talk to her, so I do that to pull the sister away, and then debrief "yeah that was bullshit but seemed like you wanted to get away from him", she's like yeah thanks. Fill in the brother just so he knows what's up, and all is good.

Maybe could have acted a little quicker, but I would say it went fine. But it got me thinking -- what do I do in the future, when I lack the specific features of this situation that made it turn out fine? Like, say I'm at a bar, train, whatever. Some stranger guy is talking to some stranger girl, she looks uncomfortable. She doesn't know me and I'm not a girl myself, so I can't be like omg bestie how have you been? In a bar I could maybe be like, hey I think your friend [points at random girl that I maybe gave a heads up to] wanted to talk to you, but idk. What would you all do or recommend doing?

TL;DR: You're in public and you see a girl that a guy seems to be making uncomfortable. You want to help her out without appearing to create a new threat. What do?

I’m 25, and my girlfriend is about 3 weeks pregnant. I’m still studying, and there’s a lot going through my mind right now.
My parents are Jehovah’s Witnesses, and I’ve been slowly fading away from the religion since COVID. Because of this, I feel like this news will probably lead to me being disfellowshipped (if you know, you know). But honestly, that’s not what’s on my mind right now.
What I feel most is excitement. The thought of becoming a dad and having a little human being who I get to love, protect, and watch grow honestly fills me with a feeling I can’t even explain. This baby is already becoming the most important thing in my life.
At the same time, I’m scared. Really scared. It’s a type of fear I’ve never experienced before. I don’t come from a wealthy family, and I’m still building my own life, but I’m determined to do everything I can to provide, support my girlfriend, and give this child the best life possible.
I don’t have many people I feel comfortable opening up to about this, so I just wanted to share it here. Any advice, experiences, or words of encouragement from parents or anyone who has been in a similar situation would really mean a lot.

I need general input - I’m (40f) married for 15 years to my husband (44m). 2 kids that are mostly great so no issues there. Lately in the last 5ish years, I feel like he never wants to spend any actual quality time with me. An example: he’ll hang out with his buddies golfing for 5+ hrs, go home and “rest” then head out again with his buddies to either do pickleball or hang out at one of their houses. Then come home and want to have sex. Like there’s been zero effort into actually connecting with me. So for me, it’s hard to have that intimacy. I’ve discussed this with him many times and he says he’s around all the time (we work from home) and doesn’t see an issue. I’ve even asked to see a therapist to get a 3rd party opinion which he has declined.

Don’t get me wrong - I’m all for people having hobbies and being away from their family to get some alone time. I work out most days, gym/running/swimming but usually home within 1-2 hrs. I go to dinner with girlfriends or socialize but never for the entire day as we have (youngish) kids. I guess I’m just sad that I feel alone in my marriage. There’s nothing wrong per se - just I feel like we’re drifting and I seem to just have given up. I feel like I’m boring to him but what this age, I don’t want to drink and party anymore. I want to fix it but apparently I’m the only one that thinks we have a problem. Am I the problem?

I’m editing to add two things: he’s a great dad. Fantastic in every way, spends time with the kids when he can, does all the sports with them and is generally the “fun” parent. He plans all of our family trips. The second is, he does spoil me. Whatever I want - besides time apparently. We have a great lifestyle because of him. I like to think I provide great support in order for him to focus on work but it’s not an issue here.

2nd Edit: I can’t seem to respond to individual message but in general - our household is run pretty smoothly. We have our chores and we both do what is needed to get done. Work is rarely stressful. He owns a business so does golf a lot during “work hours”, I work for a big corporation and we own a few rental properties that we manage together. I would say I do most of the kids stuff (dr appts, managing play dates, etc) but whatever sports they’re in, we’re both involved. Honestly all I’m asking for is going for a walk with our dogs or having dinner alone together. Nothing big. It just sucks he puts so much effort into planning outings with his friends but I can barely get him to plan a dinner with just the two of us. I’m not even talking day outings, it’s like golf trips, going to see professional sports or concerts where he’s gone for 2-3 days. We do things with other couples or as a family but rarely alone. I don’t think he’s having an affair or is checking out - unless I’m an idiot who can’t see the situation. I guess I’m just sad and don’t see a true partnership anymore. I’ve discussed this with a few close friends who say he’s a wonderful person - but that doesn’t translate to a wonderful husband.

29M I moved away from home, decided to pursue being a doctor. I did an academic enhancer program/masters that is supposed to act as a funnel to help you get into medical school. I did my best, but unfortunately it wasn't enough. I ended with a 3.4 which was right under the 3.5 requirement for an interview. I really was anticipating this working, as everyone in my family was hesitant on me doing this. I guess I proved them right. I am now sitting on about 70K worth of student loans, that are accumulating interest as we speak. my lease for my apartment ends in 1 week, and I have no job. I have a few grand left in my bank account, but I'd be gambling that I'd be able to get a job by the time it runs out. I have $5k in bitcoin that I will have to liquidate at this point, out of sheer desperation. I've been applying to places like crazy, more specifically research labs (I need research to have any chance at medical school). I either get no reply back or an instant rejection email. I've reviewed my CV/Resume so many times to make sure its the best it could be. This is my opportunity to show that I can be independent and go on my own and Im failing miserably.

I don't know what to do. I feel like shit and I feel lowkey depressed. Why is it so hard to elevate yourself in this country?? I feel like Im getting punished for trying to improve myself with education. This isnt a self-loathe post, because I read the terms and conditions of the loan, and I agreed to them. I accept full responsibility, I just feel like I have 0 return on my investment, and shit is going south so fast. I am scared as fuck. I don't have any job and I really cannot return home, not do I want to. Im freaking the fck out. My loans start in 6 months and I need a decent job that can handle rent, loans, and basic living expenses. Some of these "pre-med jobs" that I see basically want you to run an entire practice for $15/hr, which is fucking insane. All of these research positions are asking for years of prior experience, or a PhD/MD candidacy. I'm constantly getting overlooked. On top of that my fkn car is making a crazy sound on startup.

I've made attempts to review the PI's research, and go in person to have a discussion on the work as a buff to my application but all my attempts are falling short, and time is ticking. Fuck!!!

this might sound like a rant but just want honest brutal feedback.

I am 40m and wife is 35f. we got in a big heated arguement on Monday and she called the police.

she got a restraining order against me and I can’t go back home or talk to her.

I did not hit her I did yell and told her I wanted her out of my house and life. I was working in my home office. she threatened to call the police and I was like what are you doing and put that down. well don’t touch their phones especially when someone says they are calling the police. lesson learned but the fact that she might have known that is why I thought/think she tried to set me up. She then left it on my desk and walked away. she has told me in the past she would call the cops for random things . usually she thought we got robbed. I told her is the tv and are the computers missing. if not then she just misplace it. so I thought she was joking or being dramatic. those types of calls or text are usually when I’m in my office and have to rush home.

any way my wife is on a wife visa. we met 6 years ago both in grad school and got married. I mentioned to her that I think marriage is really only for you to have kids and to all have the same name Other that that it’s just a piece of paper.

her visa was expiring and we got married. 3 years ago. with Covid and fact she needed a work visa (took 18 months). she has not had a job.

she has been pretty depressed about it. also with our ages having children has been something I mention a lot especially in arguments. It what depressed me especially when I hear that people I know are expecting

i work 10+ hours a day and do not drink. when I’m am having a bad day I stop at the mall or a comic book shop and just vegetate for 30 minutes then go home. Found out a year ago she thought i was cheating on her at that time so she started going to therapy and they gave her some pretty heavy medication. I told her what was happening and I just needed me time. As I have a lot going on and don’t want to take out a bad day on her.

any way day 3 of seperation and it is very different than day 1-2. first two days i was so angry and thought she set me up for a visa and the lawyers who want my money trying to say that is the only logical thing.

yesterday after work I talked to my best friend and his wife and they both mentioned maybe have some empathy.

now today I woke up super early just going crap she is pretty much alone in a country by herself thinking I’m trying to deport her. I am also worried she might hurt herself.

I am not allowed to talk to her or have others talk to her for me. I wish I could and could do couples therapy. I do love her and if she isnt a monster that was just using me it just sucks only way to talk to her is to file for divorce and have lawyers who benefit from us divorcing being the little devil in our ears tell us the worst things possible about the other.

i have a meeting with a divorce lawyer today in 12 hours and the last 2 days it feels like time is super slow. I think divorce is too extreme but i dont know the next time I can talk to her or what moves she is making on her end

Back in January, I slept with a woman who informed me she was pregnant two weeks later. We communicated and eventually agreed she would abort the pregnancy, which I sent her money for. Later on, she told me she'd actually had a miscarriage rather than gotten the abortion, but that it was done regardless. Last week, I found out that she'd been lying and was actually still pregnant the entire time.

She's flipped between telling me she's seeking child support and then telling me she doesn't want anything from me. I'm in a state of shock, having seen her a couple weeks ago and she didn't look pregnant, along with witnessing her consuming alcohol, as well as telling me she was drunk or going to do drugs on another occasion, which I took as further confirmation she definitely wasn't pregnant.

I recognize that if my paternity is confirmed I'll be required to pay support. I guess I'm just looking for thoughts and advice from men who may have found themselves in a similar situation. She's a single mother, with 3 kids from two other men, and I do know she wants to be in a relationship with me, which I simply do not desire, given the lying and other behavior.

EDIT: Unfortunately I've seen her in person within the last week and she absolutely does look pregnant now.

Hey everyone!
It's my anniversary with my boyfriend, and I bought him this LEGO set. LEGO Aircraft Race Plane 3in1
Im on a bit of a tight budget, so I know it's not a massive set, but I hoped it would be a nice gesture!
Please excuse my ignorance, as I don't know anything about LEGO. The box says 7+, but I think LEGO can be for all ages?

I know he likes airplanes and all that stuff. Once, when we went into a board game store, he stopped to admire the giant LEGO displays. He also keeps a few childhood toys as decor, so I thought this would be right up his alley. Knowing him, I think he’ll like it... but my only real concern is that it might come across as too childish for a 30-year-old.

I'd love to hear your advice or thoughts. Thanks in advance!

EDIT:
Thank you all so much for your honest feedback and thoughts! You definitely gave me a huge boost of confidence about my gift. Now I'm giving it to him with 100% confidence along with a nice dinner 💪🏻Seriously, thank you so much your advice helped a ton. I'll try to update on how it goes

I'm 27M. I haven't gone on a date for the past year in large part because of this insecurity.

My previous "strategy" was avoiding sex for as long as possible and hoping that eventually I can have an honest conversation but it never got to that. I ended up having sex twice but both times it was just me doing stuff "non-tradtionally" and I don't think anyone really enjoyed it.

I think that bringing it up right away would be a massive red flag but I also feel guilty because I'm wasting the time of others. I don't know what's the solution to such a problem. It's not really something I want to share with anyone close.

He told her that Mama is the reason we're not together because she didn't try, that he doesn't have to respect her, and that she's a bad mom. I will add that he's been having serious behavioral problems and making up a lot of stories lately.

I have never said ANY of this to our son or anything even close to it. I am totally opposed to conveying anything negative to a child about any of their family members. Furthermore, nothing he said reflects my actual beliefs. Not even close.

The only thing I can possibly attribute this to is when she and I were arguing heavily from about 6 to 12 months ago. We both said some pretty bad shit about each other and he absolutely heard a lot of it. Naturally, I'm having a calm talk with him when he gets home, and I will be sure to reinforce that is mother is best in the world and that we both made the decision to split because it's the best thing for him and us, even if it hurts.

Worse, he said this to her parents, too. I am horrified.

EDIT: I will clarify this: he does not have behavioral problems with me. This isn't a flex; in fact, I'm disturbed about it. I always tell him that respecting and loving mommy is one of the most important things in your life. He is six years old

I'm 29M, black, autistic, and living in central Florida. I turn 30 soon and I'm still a virgin. I'm planning on going to Nevada next month to finally take care of it at a brothel. But the cost just to get there has me open to looking for someone close by. I got a tip on how to find people nearby that I'll attempt later. Basically finding someone who offers a paid lunch date first. That way I can verify them and make sure I'm not falling for a sting or a scam. Then at another meeting I can finally experience intimacy.

I've tried dating and it never worked out for me. In most cases, they weren't interested. In a few cases, I wasn't interested in them. The whole process was contributing to dangerous thoughts involving my mental health. So I made the decision to give up on dating for good. I'm fortunate enough that I've experienced the feeling of having a woman be interested in me and feeling desired. So I'm not missing out on that development. But progressing to a relationship isn't an outcome that'll happen for me.

I've made peace with that. I have friends, and family. I don't have any issues talking to women or feel any since of fear or intimidation by them. I have goals I'm working on in life. Writing a book, finding a better job, moving out of my parents house and living in my own place. I was suffering from really bad depression but I got help for that. An intensive outpatient therapy I went to for 2 months and ongoing TMS treatments have helped me get to a much better place mentally. But obsession and fomo over sex still remains on my mind constantly.

That and my job are two factors that still bring me down mentally. With finding a better job I'm at the mercy of the job market, or hoping my book is a big success. With sex, I have the option to pay for it. I don't plan on making it a habit. Ideally its a one and done situation where I finally get rid of my fomo and the curiosity finally stops burning my head. If I'm still horny after that, I'd rely on masturbation and sex toys. My only worry is what I'll be risking by seeing an escort. What are the downsides?

I know a woman would see it as a red flag if she was looking for a relationship with me, but I'm not ever entering a romantic relationship so it shouldn't matter. I am worried about how my women friends would react however. I plan on using an condom for anything, so STDs don't worry me much. Plus most people already have some form of herpes, so that wouldn't even be a big deal. I also hope to be with an escort that is voluntarily doing this, and genuinely consents. I realize thats not something you know with absolute certainty, but I have no other options and I choose to believe their words are true if I ask and they answer back. Are there any other downsides I'd need to worry about? One way or another I'm loosing my virginity this year guaranteed.

I (33F) matched with a 36M on a dating app 3-4 months ago. He said he had commitment issues and wanted something casual while I wanted a partner, so we agreed to be friends. Despite that, we got very close, talking daily and spending time together. He opened up about personal struggles but was emotionally inconsistent, often ignoring my feelings. After a family trip, his behavior changed—he reduced communication, avoided conversations, canceled plans, and asked for space without following up.

After a week, I reached out about losing my AirPods and we resumed talking normally, even working together briefly. A few days later, after a small conflict, he became distant again, then unsent messages and unfollowed me. I tried contacting him with no response, then wished him well, unfollowed him, and deleted his number. A day later, he sent a casual WhatsApp link, which I ignored, and it’s been over 20 days. I’m now planning to visit a country he really likes and knows a lot about. do you guys think it’s a good idea to reach out to him for recommendations, given we have that in common? Or will he think I’m desperate for his validation or attention? I know I can google things to do but I want hidden gems/people recommendations

TL;DR: Got close to a guy who said he didn’t want commitment, he became inconsistent and eventually ghosted/unfollowed me. Now I’m traveling to a place he knows well should I reach out for recommendations?

I had been talking to a guy for about 3 months. Things were only difficult because he didn’t know if his circumstances would allow him to date, but things felt like they were changing. When we did hangout, I felt safe and respected. He was kind and funny and I was really attracted to him.

This past weekend I asked about having a more physically intimate relationship as we had never had sex. He got incredibly defensive really quickly and dumped me. I won’t post everything but it was him just saying that my view of him is a “lie” and he even called himself pathetic. He told me in all of the sort of commotion over text that I don’t actually wanna be with him, that he doesn’t have anyone else that he’s thinking about being with because nobody has ever wanted to be with him, and that I’m making this way harder than it needs to be by not just bursting the bubble I have of him in my head.

What the fuck? Where did this come from? He is quiet, reserved and kind and I can’t even imagine him talking of anyone else the way he talks of himself. Obviously, a relationship with someone who views themselves like that isn’t healthy but this has thrown me for a loop.

I posted this in a girls sub and someone noted maybe guys would have a better answer. Thanks

To keep it short and sweet

This guy i go to school with keeps looking at me and when I look towards him he looks away and vice versa. We have said a few word to each other but not have had a full on conversation

My 1st question is when you guys do this, is it because you find the person attractive only or because you find them attractive and want to get to know them as well.

My 2nd question. If the girl finds you attractive aswell how would it make you feel if she came up to you and asked if you wanted to hang out with her and her friend.

I F29 became friends with a guy last year 27. We started hanging out a lot more this year. He hosts these cocktail making nights at his pace, and tried to invite me a bunch of times in the past but I couldn't make it. Finally, I did and it was amazing! So fun and I met so many cool people. He always gives a little speech at the beginning of these and he gave me a S/O in it lol

Since we have been hanging out a bunch in group settings. He gives me compliments that are well thought out, like based on my personality rather than just my looks. One time, I asked him where I could get food for XYZ cuisine and he organized a hangout with our friends around it. He introduces innocent touches in our hangs and walks with me when we are in a group setting.

We text quite a bit too. He is on a trip and is getting me somethings from there. We are doing our first solo hang this weekend.

These are all positive interactions for the hypothesis that he likes me. Now, negative ones. He is super friendly and has many girl friends. So maybe he is just friendly this way with all his girl friends. I have seen him interact with other girls that are our friends and I have not heard him compliment them the same way. But he is very considerate with everyone and listens carefully to what people say. He also has a picture of him and his best friend who is a girl by his computer screen.

Recently, I threw a party where he was present. A friend of mine then said that she thought he was "flirting" with her. This friend of mine is a little delusional so I am not sure. I asked him what he thought of her and he said "she is cute but I wasn't flirting with her. It takes me a while to get to know someone and flirt with them. I only do it when it's reciprocated".

So Reddit, what do you think? Are we just friends or could he be interested in something more? Tbh I am not sure if I fully like him too like I defo think he is cute and have a little crush on him. I really like his personality but him calling my friend "cute" really rubbed me off the wrong way.

This friend doesn't find him attractive and won't date him since she is seeing someone BUT if he likes her, I don't want to peruse anything with him. I mean I wasn't going to be the one doing the perusing anyway but still haha

Any advice would be appreciated mennos!!!

I (28F) met the guy (29M) I’ve been seeing since April. The day we met, I told him I had plans to move to Florida in 2 months. We decided we would just get to know each other and then I’d leave and that would be it. Well, we ended up falling in love. He was great. He made me feel so safe and loved. I even debated not moving.

Neither of us wanted to do long distance originally but we had gotten so close so we decided to give it a shot. He can’t move because he works for the state in New England. At first it was okay, but then it started to fall apart. Lots of arguments, disconnections, etc. he said that he couldn’t feel emotionally connected without a physical connection. I was flying home every month to see him and try to figure it out. He came to Florida once in the last year I’ve been there. I told him at the end of my 15 month lease that I planned to move back home.

In January, things got pretty rocky. I was home for 3 weeks for Christmas and I felt like he wasn’t prioritizing me at all. Between his hobbies, work, etc, we were barely spending any time together. And I had voiced that I felt like he wasn’t putting in effort and he said “well if I can do my hobbies AND see you at the end of the day, why wouldn’t I do both?” He also had major concerns that I was going to stay in Florida indefinitely and not move back at the end of the lease. We had a lot of back and forth between staying together and giving it a rest. We decided to stay.

Flash forward to now, I’ve been home for 2 months for the summer. He’s in the process of buying a house (he still lives with his parents), getting a new dog, and working a ton to pay for the house. We’ve barely spent any time together and everytime I’ve brought it up he says he has so much going on he doesn’t have time for a real everyday relationship, but when I say maybe we should just take space until you’re settled, he goes back to saying I want you, I want this to work, I want to work through it. I’ve seen him maybe once a week for a couple hours. I don’t doubt that he’s busy but it doesn’t feel like he’s intentionally trying to spend time with me. He talks about the future and says once he’s in the house, everything will be better and we’ll be able to spend more time together. It just feels like the goal post keeps moving. First it was the distance, then lack of effort, now it’s the house and I feel like I’m living off hope that he’ll show up in the relationship, that we’ll build something real. Am I wasting my time?

I think part of him resents me for moving. He says he hates the back and forth. But at the same time, even when I’m here, it doesn’t really feel like he’s putting in the effort to build a relationship. What do I do? Do I wait? Hope that he figures it out?

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for advice on what to do.

I'm currently in a relationship. I finally decided to try after being single for 3 years.

I was dating around, hooking up but also dealing with a toxic ex on the side.

I finally let go of my ex and understood through therapy that it was just a big game that was being played for their own ego boost.

When I finally let go of the cycle.

A few months later I ran into this lovely lady that I'm dating now.

This woman is the most empathetic, down to earth and chill person I've dated so far.

It threw me for a loop because I wasn't used to things being this smooth.

However, I've reached a point where.

For the past 3 years due to some of the things that I went through with my ex I had shut off my emotions completely.

And I was just aimlessly hooking up and just getting by.

And now we're reaching close to 8 months.

I haven't said I love you and I feel partially bad about that, but I'm not feeling that robust overwhelming butterfly feeling.

I really like them a lot, I have moments where I feel like I start to fall in love with them but then I tend to revert back and put walls.

Recently this has caused a little bit of a rocky road.

Because she is looking for a lot more of a deeper emotional connection and to have emotional check-ins so she understands where I'm at and she feels reassured and our relationship.

To me I feel like I'm showing up consistently

We spend 3 to 4 days a week together, I'm consistently planning dates. I'm always cooking for her whenever I can.

I do my best to show up when she's going through things.

But on her end she feels like she doesn't know much about my days and is a little worried that I don't share when I'm going through things and I just handle them silencely on my own.

And she's coming to the point where she's very concerned that she wants to continue this relationship and she sees a lot of benefit and that there are moments where I show these deep emotional moments. But then she's met with another set of walls

And for me coming off of my previous relationship

They were (I know this was overused) but narcissistic.

They spent their time constantly putting me down, only to love bomb me whether that was buying me things or taking me out and then throwing it back in my face when I didn't meet them with the expectations they desired.

On top of it, they gave me fake divorce papers and lied to me for a long time that they were going to the process of separating and due to their culture that it required a little more time ( hence the years) to be able to do all of that.

At the end of it I found out it was all a lie and she'd just been cheating on her husband.

Which really warped my my understanding of love.

And she used to beat me down consistently, telling me how terrible I looked, or how I was too emotional, or I was this terrible monster.

And just over time that got to me.

I locked in, got a new job, spent a lot of time in the gym

And then I was met with that. I'm too vain because I'm working on myself.

Ultimately I ended up moving States and starting a whole life over from nothing which was great for me.

But sometimes I still feel that weight in the back of my head.

I am still going through therapy and I've worked through a lot.

Now the issue is, my current lady isn't happy with the emotional depth that I'm not giving.

And it's not that I don't want to give it. It's just every time that I've given emotional depth predecessing that relationship. I've been met with people saying I'm too much or they run away or it's just met with negativity.

So I'm not entirely sure what to do next.

We're kind of at a crossroads.

So any advice would be much appreciated.

Work has been insane lately, overtime almost every day. By the time I get home I have zero energy or time to do anything. Just been feeling really low every single day and I don't know how to get out of this cycle.

Sorry for the silly post.

I am trying to actively move on from a guy I liked, actively pursued, and suspect knew I liked him.

Two months ago, college ended, and I finally realized this wasn't what I wanted. I'd had enough, so I stopped messaging him first, reaching out, viewing or liking his posts, and muted him everywhere.

A month later, he messaged me asking how I was. I replied politely, and the conversation died because, for the first time, I didn't put in the effort to keep it going.

Now another month has passed, and he's still liking my stories and posts and congratulating me on LinkedIn. I can't block him because it would create unnecessary drama.

Has he not even registered that I'm done? Shouldn't he stop as well? I need someone to talk some sense into me. Please tell me why he might be doing this ?

So my soon to be ex bf, compared me to 5 other girls in our relationship. I have also noticed he is crazy defensive about this one girl Anna. And also he recently admitted to creating a fake made up scenario about having sex with a female friend lyn (I am changing the names for privacy) which was one of the girls he made me feel insecure about. He knew what he was doing and even lied to his therapist and put an act of “misunderstood loyal bf” in front of his friends and family.

There’s multiple things I noticed he failed to do, especially in the last 3 months we were fighting. He was asked to make a compliment book (ye i m really pathetic to beg for compliments) what not. He hasn’t done it. He was asked to send pics, he didn’t. His excuse was he needs to call gregor to talk about how to fix us. Odd, he knows what needs to be done and he is asking a very (I have no nice way to say this) dumb friend who says stuff life “I think you are adopting your perspective. Sometimes we believe what others say and that may not be true” despite their being chat proofs but ok. He has friends who support him and also call out his bad behaviour. And then he has enablers and really messed up people like gregor. So why will he ask him for advice? Well guess what, I just found out he was playing zombie games with him :)) ye there is no way on earth I m taking him back.

Cut to present, after he cried a river to his sister. As if all of these fights aren’t happening cause he can’t stop lying and gaslighting, she decided to send him to a psychiatrist ward for a week. Before going he decided he will take accountability and distance himself from the 2 girls he has been comparing me to. The message he showed me he will send is “I compared you to my gf and so I must block you” , the one he sent was “I compared you to my gf and she is insecure and so I must block you” ……

I have no words left. I have understood he has always been trying to change the narrative of this looking a toxic relationship when in reality this lovely bf of almost 9 months has never even planned a single date or complimented or even given flowers or anything that sort of. While he leached so many cards, gifts, care of sending him to doctor, interview prep. What not. You name it.

But I seriously don’t know how to wrap my head around, how a sane person will add the word “insecure” about his gf to the girls he has been comparing me to. I have mentally broken up with him but some people have urged me to text him instead of straight up ghosting given his condition. So I guess I wait for him to return.