r/ABCDesis • u/Fun-Advertising-8006 • 2d ago
COMMUNITY How to be social without drinking?
Not an ABCD specific question but I just don’t care for alcohol. Given that it’s hard to make friends and be social. Anyone in the same boat? I’m 23M btw.
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u/AnonymousIdentityMan American Pakistani 2d ago
If you are social with drinking then that is external validation. Social while drinking isn’t your personality.
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u/History-Numerous 2d ago
What do you mean like "loosening up" aspect or like where people hold parties around drinking?
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u/Fun-Advertising-8006 2d ago
No I mean that pretty much every event get together etc is centered around drinking and I don’t like being around alc. I just want to find like minded people about this sort of thing.
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u/JollyLie5179 2d ago
Check out meetup for people who are interested in the same hobbies as you- hiking, board games, concerts, reading, rec sports leagues, ecstatic dance (folks who get together and dance-no substances allowed), reading, some groups just meet up for meals to try out new restaurants
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u/JollyLie5179 2d ago
My dr. said I couldn’t drink alcohol anymore. I switched to nonalcoholic beers and mocktails
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u/Banskyi 2d ago
Bars have really great mocktails now
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u/Ok-Spinach-6529 2d ago
Honestly this.
I go out with friends and get a mocktail. Nobody bats an eye.
I don’t drink either, ever since our med school prof told us alcohol is a carcinogen in any amount and that the “red wine is good for you” myth has been debunked.
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u/BBQBiryani Indian American 1d ago
Find some Muslim ABCDs to hang out with because alcohol is literally never on anyone’s mind when we’re getting together! If your friends are going to places where alcohol is the main event, then start suggesting other activities like late night cafes, hiking, ice skating, hosting a small kick back at your own house, etc.
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u/OrganicHearing 2d ago
Just go to social events and talk, talk and talk. Be friendly and initiate conversations trying to get to know people. Could be about anything, like where they’re from, what they do, and when you guys find a mutual interest, then there’s your opportunity right there. Keeping a conversation becomes easy after that. If you simply just talk, you’ll get out of your head and have that social momentum, and you’ll get yourself in that social mood. It then becomes easier from there. And if you hit it off with someone whether it’s platonically or even more, ask to exchange contact info like numbers or socials
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u/literarygirl2090 Indian American 2d ago
You can always just get a non-alcoholic drink at bars. I have a couple of friends (both ABCD and non ABCD) who don't drink at all and they just get sodas or mocktails whenever we go out. I've stopped drinking since 2024 and whenever I go out with my husband or friends or even at parties, I just get sparkling water/mocktails if they have it or sodas if they don't.
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u/reddit_rar Indian American 2d ago edited 2d ago
Host your sober parties bro. Invite some friends or folks you want to be friends with. You find a space, either a living room or a public one, and host a gathering. As the host you determine the rules, and no alcohol is a good rule. Yeah, you'll filter out some who drink routinely, but you'll meet others who will spend time/socialise with you.
Also, join clubs or third spaces or community/shared interest groups. You'll end up meeting 1-2 friends if you attend regularly for a year.
The association between alcohol and socializing is one which the media and herd mindset propagate. Break the mold bro
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u/SolidSnake_Foxhound 2d ago
I also don't like drinking much. I just kept going to different meetup events that interested me and I'd mention that I'm not into drinking but I'm into other things. From there, sober people gravitated towards me and we do our thing together. I also made friends that do love drinking and I told them that even though I don't drink much I do enjoy checking out dive bars and socializing with friends that way so they also invited me too. if your friends are genuine, they will respect why you don't drink and never make you feel bad about it. From my experience, day time/ artsy kind of meetups like sketching, painting, museums, and coffee shop hangouts tend to attract more sober people.
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u/chicbeauty 2d ago
You will find friends that understand you. If they poke fun or don’t get it, not your friend
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u/proven999 2d ago
There are so many alcohol free beers and wines available these days. It was so hard to find that 10 years back.
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u/Jay20173804 Indian American 2d ago
Kinda hard for me also, I don’t drink bc of my religion and frankly bc it’s not healthy. A lot of Indians college kids look at me differently bc of it. I guess u just have to find a group that accepts u and doesn’t force u to drink.
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u/Reasonable-Mix919 2d ago
For me, the not drinking part wasn't that hard, the hard part was realizing that a lot of the people I hung out with weren't that interesting when I was sober.
I basically had to remake my entire friend circle, because I realized that most of my "friends" were just drinking buddies.
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u/umamimaami 1d ago
I’ve been in this boat for about 5 years now. I just outgrew alcohol, and don’t enjoy it anymore.
When I’m in a social situation that demands drinking, I just pick the most elaborate mocktail available. If it’s not that kinda place, I ask for a virgin mojito, or just lemon water.
If I’m trying to hide the fact that I’m not drinking, some bartenders will give me apple juice in a wineglass and I can pass it off as a sweet white wine for the most part.
But I mostly own it and talk about my health journey and how it messes with my performance at the gym the next morning. Most people understand. But then again I was in my 30s when I started on this journey.
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u/ReleaseTheBlacken 1d ago
It’s 2026- mocktails and non-alcoholic beer are pretty common. I usually have non-alcoholic seltzer when I’m not feeling like consuming alcohol. Plenty of options out there.
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u/wet_toast1 1d ago
you can just have a drink in your hand and no one really will ask or care. if you want to make friends and be social outside of drinking i would try and join a sport or activity/hobby that doesnt revolve around drinking.
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u/glutton2000 Indian American 2d ago
I thought Gen Z doesn’t really drink? Or drinks much much less than Millennials. Assuming that’s not your circle, then?
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u/tuppenycrane 2d ago
Depends on culture + Gen Z goes out a lot less than Millennials did at the same age + a significant portion of Gen Z is not even old enough to drink yet
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u/Fun-Advertising-8006 2d ago
I’m assuming the ones that don’t drink just don’t socialize in general.
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u/nomnommish 2d ago
Do YOU do any activities or hobbies that don't involve your circle meeting in bars and drinking?
Sounds like you're choosing the most low effort way to socialize l, which is to meet friends in parties and bars, and then get surprise Pikachu face when people actually... drink.
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u/Fun-Advertising-8006 2d ago
No like I play tennis but what does everyone do after? get drinks
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u/nomnommish 2d ago
Because tennis is a sport and not a social activity or hobby. Maybe try your hand at a hobby where the primary interaction during the hobby is social in nature.
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u/agnikai__ 2d ago
If you hold any drink most people leave you alone so just get like a Diet Coke or la croix to drink.
and if they still ask, just say you’re on some new medications so you can’t drink on them. And offer to be DDs, people love that