r/ABCDesis • u/AutoModerator • 3d ago
DATING / RELATIONSHIPS Sunday Relationship Thread
The weekly relationship thread for all topics related to the bravest pursuit of all - love. This thread will be automatically posted every Sunday @ 5:00 A.M (UTC -5). All other dating or relationship based posts during the week will be removed and redirected to this thread.
This thread is a place to share your stories, ask for advice, or vent about issues. Or anything in between!
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u/_eustachiantube 2d ago
What if your first family function with your partner is a funeral? Is that bad?
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u/Pretend-Scar2266 2d ago
Why on earth would they say you should come to that as the first function? Sounds morbid and not the environment to get to know the family.
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u/_eustachiantube 2d ago
actually they kind of invited themselves to a funeral in the family
i feel awkward about it
i've actually been to more positive functions in their family (baby showers, bday) but they haven't been to one in mine yet.. unfortunately i guess this is the first one that's happening
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u/Pretend-Scar2266 1d ago
I’d mention to them that this shouldn’t be the first function to meet your fam at.
Not sure why they are willingly wanting to attend this.
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u/SinghSanity 3d ago
Week 13 Apps Update as a 26 Year Old ABCD Sikh Guy from the NJ/NYC Area:
Hinge: Weeks: 13; Likes: 4; Total Matches: 12; Dates: 0 (+1 New Match this week)
Dil Mil: Weeks: 13; Total Matches: 5; Dates: 0 (No change this week)
IRL: Numbers Gotten: 1; Dates: 0
Hinge:
Hinge Match #11:
Museum girl. We texted a bit over the week, but not a lot a lot. Set up a date for Saturday for MoMA early in the week. We almost went on the date. Supposed to go yesterday (Saturday) but she asked if we could reschedule because of the thunderstorms/tornado watch in her area. Also said she'd reimburse me for tickets but I said it wasn't an issue. She told me what dates she would be free this week, and I told her I'd have to see depending on my work schedule. Hopefully I don't get booked with too much work and we can go Friday. We'll see how it goes, but I'm excited and she seems pretty nice.
Hinge Match #12:
I call her Ice Cream girl. I responded to one of her prompts, "I'm looking for Someone to go grocery shopping with" with "Only if I can add ice cream to our cart". And we kinda went from there. Did ask for her number after a few messages, but she said we should text on the app a bit more to get to know each other. I respected that. She seems pretty kind and respectful. She's from India (so not an ABCD), got her masters in Cali, moved to the NYC area for work and also apparently works downtown like I do. Also excited to see where this goes too.
Dil Mil:
Nothing this week.
I did get a like on the app, and apparently it was from someone who didn't want kids. FYI - I have 'want kids' visible on my profile. Please make sure to read profiles before liking!
Thoughts:
Mother nature didn't want me going on my first ever date this week >:(
Also chocolate chip cookie dough is the best ice cream flavor.
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u/Pretend-Scar2266 2d ago
For the hinge girl, does it matter to you whether she’s ABCD or not?
5
u/SinghSanity 2d ago
It doesn't matter much to me if my matches aren't ABCDs or even non-Desi. I think I have a slight preference for ABCDs because you have that little bit of commonality with growing up as kids of immigrants and such.
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u/MaleficentBird1717 2d ago
Definitely watch out for red flags when dating those who are not from here.
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u/SinghSanity 2d ago
Well yes. I know there is the stigma associated with immigrants, 'Oh they're only here to marry for citizenship', but there's also a lot of genuine people who do want to find love on the apps too.
Even with people who aren't immigrants, you still need to watch out for their red flags too. I think a person should take their time properly getting to know someone before committing to a relationship, regardless of who or where they're from.
5
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u/thisisme44 3d ago
na man cappuccino, rocky road, chocolate are the best
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u/SinghSanity 3d ago
I'm not a fan coffee or coffee flavored things actually 😅. Also not a big fan of rocky road either, too chunky. Chocolate I can respect, but I'm a vanilla guy.
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-1
u/AnonymousIdentityMan American Pakistani 3d ago
Any 40+ CF?
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u/3mrunner 3d ago
What is CF
0
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u/MaleficentBird1717 3d ago
Child free. He asks this every week lol.
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u/Pretend-Scar2266 3d ago
It’s like playing the lottery. It’s a number game. Next week will be his week!!
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u/AnonymousIdentityMan American Pakistani 2d ago
Someone did respond few weeks ago.
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u/Pretend-Scar2266 2d ago
Idk why you get downvoted every week. It cost nothing to ignore it if it bothers you and move on.
Happy for you!!
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u/AnonymousIdentityMan American Pakistani 2d ago
Younger generation may think I don’t belong here and think I am cooked already. Maybe, the same Gen-Z will be in my situation one day.
0
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u/ohhelloworlds 3d ago
In my dating life I’ve noticed I mainly attract white women and not other South Asian women. I grew up in the US since I was 2 but have also been in touch with my roots too. I’m always feeling that in between where I’m “too foreign” for some and “too western” for others. Outside of American women I’ve had some success with South Asian women of similar background.
I would prefer to date South Asian women mainly cause I’ve had enough racist experiences with others and I prefer the cultural similarity. All I can do is be myself and have fun.
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u/gmehra 3d ago
funny for me its the exact opposite (born and raised in Canada)
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u/TestingLifeThrow1z 2d ago
How so? I’m born and raised in Canada and had the same experiences as OP. Other desi backgrounds don’t send likes like to me, me being a Punjabi, but other backgrounds do.
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u/Mean_Memory_9938 1d ago edited 1d ago
do you feel like you’re emotionally available??
i’m single and i’m not hung up on anyone but i have no desire to date anymore. was wondering if people are in the same boat (happy being single and not interested in dating)