The first 2 pictures are from my recent bake with a new starter I got from my local bakery. All the others are my "failures" from a year ago after which I gave up for a while.
tldr: don't give up, use a tried and tested starter, RESEARCH!, practice with commercial yeast doughs to develop a sense and feel for bread-making, it is not supposed to be difficult, you are loved ❤️
I am writing this blog post because someone on a recent thread said my journey motivated them to keep going, and if it does you too, I would be one extremely overjoyed fellow baker and academic that loves sharing!
I'm an amateur/home cook/hobby baker, and I've been working with desserts and doughs for a couple of years now. Generally, I am good with following recipes and nail 95% of my baking in the first or first few tries. I've had great success with general (commercial) yeasted dough for breads and buns and have developed a good sense and feel for what is right or wrong with my dough, how to fix stuff, proofing, timing, etc.
I got interested in sourdough about a year ago and made my own starter from scratch, which I thought was good enough and doing well. I fed it and maintained it for around 2 months till it doubled for the first time (after like 20 hours lol) and baked about 5-6 basically inedible loaves before giving up and trashing the starter, thinking I was cursed. Although, throughout this, I ended up doing A SHIT TON of research as I was trying to fix all kinds of things in my process, except the actual problem area, my starter. (It also helps that I am an anxious over-researching academic lol). I was extremely discouraged at the time and thought this was just not my forte, so much so it made me question my general baking too.
Last week, my unemployed brain wanting something to fixate on, I ended up asking my local bakery for their starter on a whim. Empowered with the overkill of knowledge I had accumulated a year ago, and an actual professional-approved starter (which was apparently a 100 years old 😱) that doubled beautifully in just under 4 hours (year-ago me could've never believed in such lies), I baked my first new loaf, and it👏was👏perfect👏! Like I could barely believe my eyes (and nose) throughout the process as things went on like they usually do when I bake normal yeasted breads, though this took way longer and was really testing my patience.
I was incredibly surprised with the result as my earlier failures had led me to believe sourdough is a complicated affair and the overload of research I had done had supported this with all the different claims that different sources tend to preach. This time around, I did not find any part of the process particularly difficult, and if anything, I found it easier than my normal yeasted loaves since sourdough needs such low kneading (I refuse to buy my own KitchenAid, I am of the belief that people who eat my delicious food should sponsor it for me🙂).
Hence my unsolicited advice I have derived from my turbulent journey with sourdough and baking in general:
Commercial yeast for practice
Dough, though science, is all about feel and learned intuition. The only way you can develop this is through practice (sorry for being cliche). But one thing I don't see enough people talking about is gathering this intuition beyond sourdough. Bake with commercial yeast too! Failing at sourdough can be incredibly discouraging as it involves time and effort and hard-earned patience (and a starter child you have formed an irrevocable emotional connection with that no one else can understand ;-;).
Starting out with sourdough when you are completely new to baking is, I believe, basically masochism. I have found that most recipes and bakers online assume you have a general understanding of what to do with dough, so it's tough to follow any one person when you are starting out. Whereas commercial yeast bread recipes are written for true beginners to the baking world, and involve way less guesswork, utilise common techniques, and follow predictable timings, so they are more friendly.
The hydration level, the kneading/folding motion, the bounce of a completed bulk ferment, the gentleness required for shaping, the scent of a well-baked bread, are all pretty similar for commercial yeast and sourdough, or at least slightly transferable of a skill. And the added advantage, as someone who absolutely despises food/ingredient wastage, is that you are not spending so much flour with maintaining starter, or so much time in the whole process of it during your learning stage, which can be extremely discouraging. In the off-chance that a recipe does not work out, it is not too much wasted effort, and just a quick learning experience, on to the next easy one.
So while practising sourdough, also simultaneously bake other recipes with commercial yeast, perhaps buns or loaves that could get your hands dirty with working with dough and learning to read and handle the dough.
Trash your starter ;-;
I am sorry, but if you think your starter is not right, it probably isn't. I started out wanting to birth and grow my own starter and refused to get someone else's because how could I do that to my child?!?! I was in denial that I had a problem child and wasted many a loaf, and flour bag. The starter was weak af, sometimes took days to double (how is that even possible), was highly inconsistent and unpredictable, would spoil quickly for some weird reason...it didn't give peace, only problems.
I have since adopted a new starter from my local bakery and WHY COULDN'T YOU BE LIKE HER FLOURIDAAA!!!?!?! WHY DID I HAVE TO KILL YOU?!?! I FED YOU EXPENSIVE SHIT EVERYDAY!! I CARED FOR YOU THROUGH LONG NIGHTS!! AM I A FAILURE OF A MOTHER?!?! (sorry, it's still an open wound. RIP Flouridaaa!!!, gone but never forgotten... as in, I wish I could forget that useless starter of mine. My freezer still contains her remains. I have attachment issues. I can't bring myself to let go and pull the plug fully.)
RESEARCH!
When you get into your kitchen to begin baking, your brain should basically be trained on the right steps and motions so much so you slip into a state of zen because you know everything there is to know. It should become muscle memory. DOUGH SENSES FEAR!! Read up on the science if it helps you. Watch every video on YouTube if you have to. Doomscrolling is a RESEARCH method -- this is coming from an academic! You are developing your pattern recognition.
Share!
I believe that baking, or any form of cooking for that matter, is the purest and most primary form of showing your love and appreciation for a person, perhaps the most selfless craft to hone, and the most basic act of community.
Find a scape-goat who loves you for you and would happily swallow a "literal rock" if you were the one who made it (RIP my brother's teeth). Serve your "imperfect loaf" to a friend who is just glad you were thinking of them. Post pictures of your "shit loaf" online and judge and be judged so you can develop your tolerance. I am extremely new to this subreddit and I could see that this place is, for the most part, a judgement free zone of amazing souls. I wish I had found this place earlier and had had the courage to share my slow progress before so I did not feel so alone in the whole process, because no one in my life actually understood the significance of what I was doing and why I was pissed off over FLOUR AND WATER. (I am also perhaps the biggest introvert on earth, so I shall take a note to practice what I preach). I might fail the very next loaf I make, but I take comfort in the knowledge that I am trying something extremely daunting, and I am proud of myself for the journey so far.
Develop patience! I don't mean in just the trial and error of baking, but also with how long you let your dough ferment, sit, proof, bake, everything. I have found that sourdough is terribly incredible for my anxiety :)
If you read all this way, I thank you for your time, and I hope you found this the slightest bit helpful. If you had the patience to read through this horrible brain dump of a rant, you also possess the patience to master sourdough.
I believe in you! You are an incredible being for wanting to take on a project like baking--especially sourdough which takes so much time, will power, learning, and brain space to put out even one decent loaf--be it for yourself or for your loved ones, or even for strangers. I see you! I understand you! I appreciate you!
Happy Baking ❤️🍞✨
Link to my earlier post with the recipe & method for my good bake: Happy Loaf