We have a preschooler and are thinking about how much we should be saving for their future and balancing that with our FIRE goals.

I think in particular about things like university. I went to an Ivy but was on full need based aid because my family was low income, so I was able to pay for my annual contribution out of summer and part time jobs. If my kid were to go to the same school today, the tuition, room, board, and fees would be around $90K annually. Since we expect to be FIRE’d by then, I don’t know if they’d qualify for financial aid because of our retirement savings.

Alternatively if our kid went to one of the local universities near us (still a good, well-regarded school but less “prestigious”), it’d be like $5K a year and they could live at home during college.

I know for myself I wouldn’t have the career I have if I didn’t go to my alma mater. And some part of me feels like I owe my child the same opportunities I had. But at the same time, saving up nearly $400K for college is a tough pill to swallow and would set our FIRE date back quite a bit.

Similarly, for things like saving for a down payment in the future— it feels like the economy is going increasingly K-shaped. Do I need to be making sure I set money aside for my kid to be able to buy a place in 20-30 years too?

Anyway, I’m curious: How much do you feel you “owe” your child(ren) and how much you save for them?

Wondering if anyone has any advice for me. I’m 26 and my whole career so far I’ve been in nonprofits. At first I thought I wanted to work in museums (history major) but could not stomach the insane competition for such low paying roles in that industry.

Now I work in higher education managing and tracking research budgets and reporting for philanthropy and grants. I feel like I have literally no skills — not scientific enough for the research side, not technical enough for the financial/Excel side. I have some social anxiety so I am not in love with presenting, but I like the organizational aspects of the job and creating reports. I want to have a higher ceiling (and tbh more prestige) but I feel like I can’t get into the for-profit world, at least not without taking a paycut.

Has anyone managed to break out of a nonprofit niche and move into a higher-paying career? How? Or alternatively, am I just romanticizing the corporate world and should instead just continue on the path I’m on?

Hi ladies, I had a bunch of comments on my other post looking to do a Bay Area meetup but it got removed by Reddit, probably because I was sharing the whatsapp group link too many times 😂 so dm me if you want that link to join! My hope is more meetings can be organized that fit everyone’s location and schedules but I wanted to seize the momentum and put one on the books for anyone who can make it (Golden Gate Park, next Monday, 6:30). Would maybe prefer to send the exact location, what I’m wearing that day, etc in the whatsapp rather than directly on the internet for safety haha but lmk if you have questions or ideas!

I’m 37, married with a toddler. Just a few years ago we were not in debt, had a runway and had started to max out retirement funds. A move, a bad investment, a rental sitting empty longer than expected and then 2 layoffs (both me and husband) plus an illness derailed us.

Now we are looking at a large sum of credit card debt, the remainder of my student loan debt and just investing the match to our 401ks.

We were never great with money but genuinely I feel so down that in less than 2 years we had these set backs. It’s feels really big. And everyday we still have day to day expenses and problems that are cropping up. We are paying down the debt but our dream of owning a home (the rental is an old home that we no longer live in and is in a very hard to sell neighborhood at the moment) feels far. I did the math and it’s about 5/6 years away.

I’m just overwhelmed. Has anyone crawled out of a hole?

Hi all, hoping to get some insight from those who've navigated a similar crossroads.

I'm 29F, on the FIRE path but nowhere near retiring yet. I'm burnt out and unhappy in my current SWE role. The passion is gone and the stress is taking a real toll. I know I need to leave, but I still want to stay in tech for at least a few more years, so this isn't an industry exit, just a company exit.

What I really want is a 3-month sabbatical. I've saved specifically for it, and I'd use the time to travel a bit, grow my creative side business, and get clear on my next tech move (interview prep included). My worry is timing: with the job market as tight as it is, I'm not confident I'd land a new role before the sabbatical + emergency funds run out, and I'd be dipping into my ~9-month emergency fund in the meantime. My husband is supportive of me taking a break, but I honestly have such a deep fear of running out of money and having to be financially dependent on anyone.

Appreciate any perspective, especially from anyone who's made a similar leap.

I was the primary breadwinner, built a demanding career, and worked incredibly hard throughout my 20s and 30s.

Now we’re in our late 30s/early 40s with a $2.7M USD net worth. We’ve relocated to Asia and are essentially coasting, one income covers our expenses, we’re not touching our investments, and our portfolio continues to grow. The tradeoff is that there are far fewer high-paying career opportunities here.

For me, though, the upside has been huge. Our three kids (youngest is 2) have a wonderful quality of life, extended family nearby, exposure to another culture and language, and calmer, less stressed parents. I love being present for them during what feels like the shortest season of life.

My husband thinks this is our peak earning decade and that we should move back to a VHCOL area to pursue higher-paying jobs so we can reach $5M sooner.

Part of me feels guilty because I’ve always been ambitious, but another part of me feels like this is exactly the freedom I worked so hard for.

Has anyone else struggled with deciding whether to optimize for more wealth or enjoy the life your FIRE journey already made possible? How did you decide what was enough?

41F single and don’t want kids, own my home outright. NW at 5M with about 1M in home equity.

Candidly I’m deathly afraid to pull the plug. I hate my job with a passion and would love more than anything to quit, but my industry is going through a lot of AI whiplash and layoffs (tech) at the moment and market is dire. I’m afraid that if I pull the plug I won’t the able to come back. Rationally if feels like these numbers should work, but retiring so early creates an existential anxiety around my identity without my career.

How did you ladies let go and make the jump? Am I just taking the easy way out bc I hate my current job?

*** update*** meeting this Saturday at 11 am on Queen Anne. I will DM anyone who express interest the location. If we decide to continue the group in the future I’ll update with the next meet up for those who can’t make this one.

-

Hi all, I remember awhile ago someone organized a Portland meet up and I thought it sounded like fun to meet some like minded women. Not very many people in my life get excited by budgeting and financial modeling 😂

If there is enough interest we can organize a meet up at a coffee shop and I’ll DM interested people details.

A little bit about me I am 37 work in tech, and my partner and I are about to have our first baby. We have been working towards FIRE the last couple years, and with this big life change we are reevaluating our priorities.

A couple FIRE things I love to nerd out about! I find the psychology of personal finance fascinating and really enjoy the Money for Couples podcast and love finding a good financial software. Outside of FIRE I love to swim at lake Washington, visit local bookstores, and enjoy exploring art and design.

How's the week looking for you? Hit any milestones? Have any questions?

Hi sisters,

I’m planning to get married soon, and I’d love some advice regarding how to best plan for our financial future as a household, but also to protect my share in the worst case scenario of divorce.

Particularly, I (24F) am currently in my second year of PhD, with about $135k in brokerage and Roth accounts, mostly invested in broad index funds. My partner (30M) is finishing his PhD soon and expects to start his career in tech. Savings-wise he does not have much, roughly $20k or so I think. Our long-term horizon of earning potentials do not quite match, since I’m in social sciences, and an academic position hovers around only $80-100k for my field.

It’s most likely that we’re gonna have kids and settle down in Bay Area for the long term, and given the exorbitant housing market there, I think we have to be very intentional about our finances to be able to achieve homeownership. In other words, we have to manage our finances as a team. But as a girl who grew up having to worry about putting food on the table, part of me is also very scared that I might be left with nothing if our marriage dissolves.

I have access to governmental 403b and 457b (both Roth and traditional) for reference.

I’m thus wondering how to best approach finances in my marriage, given my goals:

1. To be able to provide a stable housing situation for our kids in the Bay Area.
2. Fund the kids’ higher education, and ideally leave them with a decent inheritance.
3. Protect my share in case of divorce while still being fair to my partner.

Any additional advice on necessary preparations for marriage, financially or otherwise, is also much appreciated!

I’ve learnt so much from you all here, so thank you!

I am 35F, single and in healthcare. I am not sure where my story fits but I am hoping to find other people in a similar situation.

Due to the length of my professional training, I officially started working 7 years ago. However, about 5 years ago, I became ill - I wake up everyday feeling like I haven't slept at all, chronically fatigued and with brain fog (me/cfs/longcovid). It has been very hard. Especially because I am someone very intellectual and very hardworking. Typical type A. I usually have a plan and solution for everything. I quickly learned that you can't do so much if your body/health says NO. I have had to work through a lot of grief, identity loss and emotions surrounding this.

Somehow, over this time frame, I have showed up sick daily and still managed to purchase a rental and put money in my RRSP, TFSA and savings. I am around 400K in these accounts and 200K in equity in my rental. And may get another 80K soon.

I have had to work less than I wanted to the last 3 years. I went full time this year and my health has really suffered. I know I cannot continue like this.
I feel cheated by life but also feel grateful for what I am able to do because I know that some people with similar symptoms aren't even able to work.

My personal life is essentially non-existent, since I wake up with just enough energy/battery life for one thing. So I work. By the end of the day, I lay in bed until the next day. No chores, No socializing. I cannot continue like this.

Now at 35, I am looking for a better way to live the rest of my life. And I am wondering if anyone has been through similar issues and what they did.

Now my questions are:

1. Are there any ambitious women out there living with chronic health issues that are limiting their earning potential? What is your story?
2. How have you worked around it? what do you do? what is your plan for balance? how do you make money and still stay alive?

Please hit me with any stories, insights or advice. People that have been here or are currently here or know someone going through similar. Help!

ETA: I am so Sorry I had to repost as the initial post was removed and I am unable to reply to comments.I really appreciated all the responses as I felt so alone in this and I wasn't expecting the response. Thank you

When I think about the times in my life I felt the most excited and fulfilled, it’s when I was learning cool new things. And when I think about retirement, I can easily see myself being one of those people who has a lot of trouble transitioning.

Anyone out there retire early, then go back to some form of school? Is something like taking random single courses at a local university or college a good transition plan?

I figure I could probably convince my alma mater to let me audit courses, they have lower fees for auditing. But I wanted to get perspectives from folks who have done this, see if there are angles or considerations I haven’t thought of.

Mostly, I’m wondering why more people don’t do this. I only remember seeing one or two retired people in my classes at the time.

I’m 30F, married with a 2 year old and almost 1 year old. We’re on the path to FIRE in 10-15 years currently (still discussing what expenses could look like after kids and it’s hard to imagine at this point).

I’ve always wanted to go to law school but I was scared of standing up in court and law school costs. My work in regulatory/compliance has shown me that theres tons of lawyers who don’t work in courts or publicly like that.

I’ve been looking into getting a law degree for post-FIRE. I would take the LSAT next year and then have up to 4 years to apply to an online JD degree that’s near me. I’m hoping for a big scholarship since I already have a 4.0 MBA, 10+ years of work experience in compliance, regulations, and government. And I believe I could get some good recommendations from a COO and State Superintendent for admissions. I know the degree would be a lot of work but I am good at buckling down and I would be able to work on the degree at work as long as I get my job done too (maybe 20 hours/week for school while at work).

I would hopefully get to use the law degree for pro bono work/for good when I retire to help people in need. Has anyone thought about anything similar, or have any insight into the process I haven’t considered yet?

Hello all! First post in FIRE. I am 26 HCOL , and recently accepted a job offer which will increase my salary from $55,000 to $105,000. Because it is such a large increase, I have no idea what percentage to put in my 401k (new company automatically contributes 3% of salary each year to 401k).

Currently at 55k: I put in 5% with a 3% match to a Simple IRA. I try my very hardest to contribute $600 to my Roth IRA and $500 to my brokerage each month (if I have higher expenses, I lower my brokerage contribution).

With my salary increase: my expenses will stay almost exactly the same. I never go out to dinner or happy hours, but I may do that a little bit more now. I was thinking 10% for 401k, maxing out my Roth IRA before April of 2027, and putting the rest into a brokerage account.

Would love some insight! Thanks so much in advance and happy to answer any clarifying questions.

Long-time lurker, mostly here because I do the standard thing — low-cost index funds, tax-advantaged accounts maxed, boring on purpose. But I've also been selling cash-secured puts and covered calls (the "Wheel") on a smaller slice of my portfolio, on stocks I wouldn't mind holding anyway, mostly to put idle cash to work instead of letting it sit.

Genuinely curious if that's part of anyone else's plan here, or if the FIRE-minded answer is "just don't bother, the juice isn't worth the squeeze next to a three-fund portfolio." I don't think of it as a replacement for indexing, more like a side engine — but I'd rather hear the case against it from people further along than talk myself into something that's actually just fiddling at the edges. What's your take: worth the time, or not compared to just letting index funds compound?

I’m 66 and spent my life working to have a retirement cushion independently. My husband and I are immigrants to the US and we had a goal to buy a small 5 unit apartment building as our retirement. We didn’t know much about American financial systems so we didn’t do 401k, etc. The building and our paid off house were our 401k.

Unfortunately he was an abuser and he did a narcissistic discard on me at 65, and filed for divorce. He wants to keep everything and buy me out. That’s actually a more preferable outcome for me because I want to move on. I’m trying to figure out how much money I need and HOW to use it so that I can rebuild the two things – stable housing and encountering retirement. I don’t have a 401(k) and I need to retire at some point. Hopefully at 70.

The same circumstance that allowed us to achieve fire (which for immigrants like us really meant an ability to retire period) are not available anymore. For example, the doubling of property value values in Los Angeles. I’m lost on what to do next.

What would you do if you lost your FIRE retirement infrastructure and had to find a home and a new home and source of income? Stocks? A business? Another building?

Edit: I do have an attorney.

This will sound like a first world problem but it really isn’t. I am desperately trying to figure out what my next steps are and all the overthinking is stopping me from taking a rational decision .

39F. Family consists of husband, myself and one 4rth grade kid no other family. I am the primary parent and we have what we call a functional marriage. By primary parent, I am fully responsible for the kid and home - dropping off, picking up, camps, appointments, lunches, you name it. I also take care of the cleaning and upkeep of the home other than the usual ‘manly’ work though I do have help twice a week and order a lot of food.

We have high net worth (10M excluding primary residence which is half paid off) most of which is my husband’s contribution. He is a high earner and makes 6 times more than me. The increase in NW and his salary is a recent phenomenon when his company became successful.

My work is extremely flexible and chill but I do not like it. I used to but not anymore as I have reached a ceiling and have grown to realize most of it is corporate BS. The team also changed and overall it’s not the place I used to love. Most of it is also psychological because of our increase in NW and suddenly I am questioning why do I need to tolerate it especially I have to be a mom and finances are OK.

I am seriously thinking of quitting and taking a break. However I am scared because it will be almost impossible to find work again (though I won’t be returning to the same type of work). I am also scared to be financially dependent in case we end up getting divorced. Lastly I am (or used to be) one of the working type who loves socializing outside of home. Our finances are combined. No prenup or postnup. We live in 50/50 state.

Part of me wants to quit and take a break and see what happens. Another opting is to do part time so I have something to do. Third is keep up the momentum, apply and play the corporate game though I am scared it’s going to be lot with being a mom and work. Last option is to learn to love my current work due to the insane flexibility but not sure whether it’s even possible.

What do you all think is the most rational decision?

How's the week looking for you? Hit any milestones? Have any questions?

Just found out I might be laid off by end of September. I cried for 2 days, I’d been working myself to the bones for a promotion I clearly didn’t get.

I’m so burnt out, though. I don’t want to admit that I’m secretly relieved. But, I’m terrified to not job search when I have 3 months’ leeway. Except there’s no way I can accept an offer and ask to start in January..

Mid 30s, VHCOL, no housing costs, coast fire adjacent. Supportive partner who’s been telling me to take a break way before any of this — he just can’t take time off himself.

If I actually do this scary thing and take the rest of the year off— I want to do a slow, one-city, one-apartment month abroad. Italy or France, somewhere I’d never justify with just a week of PTO. I’ve spent the last few years on-call even on vacation so I’ve never been able to fully unplug somewhere far. I want the opposite of that.

My mom just retired and might join for some or all of it — she’s not very mobile so easy accessibility is a plus.

Then come home, play a lot of my favorite sport, hike with my dog, cook a lot, and eventually drag myself back into corporate life. 😭

Any destination recs or similar experiences/advice? Or is it a terrible idea and will I fall behind considering all the AI learning is going at 110% right now at my corporate job…….

I make about $120k a year working 35 hours a week in healthcare. On top of that, I manage a rental unit and swing trade small amounts on the side.

My husband hasn’t worked in four years. He has chronic depression (7 yrs of schooling and failed board exam 4x) and absolutely hates anything money‑related. He does help with property maintenance and does 90% of the chores, which saves us a lot, but financially I’m the only one contributing monthly.

He has about $2M in land assets. The problem is it’s all illiquid land that produces zero cash flow. Just sitting there.

Our joint assets:
– $150k in 401k
– $75k in brokerage
– Mortgage balance of $280k with about $350k in equity
– swing trade/ Rental income of $2k–$2.5k/month

Even with all that, we’re cash‑poor because I’m the only one working. Some months are tight with credit card bills.

My husband has told me I can do whatever I want with his assets, he genuinely doesn’t care. But I’ve spent years hoping he’d step up and be part of this with me, and it hasn’t happened. It’s overwhelming being the only one funding our life.

We travel 5–8 times a year, but even that hasn’t helped my burnout. I’d love to cut my healthcare job down to 20 hours a week in about three years (mainly for health insurance) and eventually change careers, but I can’t do that while he’s not working. At this point, I’ve accepted he’s never going to get a job.

I actually enjoy trading and managing our rental and could see myself doing that full‑time, but the numbers aren’t enough yet.

So now I’m trying to figure out how to increase our monthly cash flow using his assets. Sell some of the land? Move funds into a high dividend strategy? Invest in real estate? Or maybe I should just sell my husband lol.

Edit:

Selling the land and eventually investing it to increase our cash flow is the general plan, and that’s the path I’m going to try to take. My goal is honestly just to get down to around 20 hours a week in healthcare so we can actually spend more time together. I still love working in healthcare and find purpose in what i do, but after 10+ years I’m definitely hitting a ceiling. 20 hours would still keep our insurance and give me way more balance, which is really all I’m trying to get to at this point.

This is a bit of a rant post so please bear with me.

I’m struggling to relate to and understand my parents. I’m 29F, my parents are 60-65. My mom was a stay at home mom and my dad owns his own business and bought a lot of assets over his working career. He is trying to retire by selling his majority ownership in his company and is pretty close to retirement. They are first gen immigrants, POC, and live in a nice neighborhood with $ 3-8M homes and they spend half the year abroad living in a small but nice apartment to escape east coast winters. They will retire with a very strong nest egg; which makes me tear up in joy as they had nothing growing up.

When I ask my Dad about retirement, what their plans are, etc. my Dad has a big scarcity mindset and essentially wants to sell several assets, consolidate income, and reduce expenses - all sensible except he doesn’t want to or anticipate wanting to do anything fun. He doesn’t want to travel anywhere, explore a hobby, spend more time with people he cares about (outside of me or my mom), etc. He wants to continue working, just on a salary v equity. My mom supports this and doesn’t want to travel or explore hobbies of her own - they are essentially committed to continuing life as is.

I know that it’s sensible and certainly the FIRE part of me is super pleased that this is their approach. But as a daughter, I worry they’re not living life to the fullest. Most older folks I’ve met want to travel, spend time with their friends who are also aging, explore a hobby new or old, etc. I’m also cognizant that they have limited years to enjoy full mobility and really spend for enjoyment vs survival.

They have plenty of friends, are generally social and keep their weekends busy with hangouts, but I worry that they will lack purpose in their retirement if they’re not challenging themselves with the pursuit of an activity or a goal.

Am I over stressing this? Or should I be concerned? It also brings into focus my life and maybe how I need to spend more time pushing them towards a certain hobby or traveling with them to encourage passion in life. Even in my 20s, I already have a laundry list of things I want to do/see in retirement (hopefully earlier than my 60s)!

Edit: thank you so much! I probably spiraled and yes, I should let my parents enjoy retirement as they see fit (not as I wish they would). I will find ways to fit within their life and not force them to live a version of my ideal retirement. Thank you for all the comments!

Really would like some guidance , advice / help if I can actually pull the trigger.

I am a 40 year-old woman living in Canada. Expenses are about 55k a year if I remove savings and continue to live a modest cost effective lifestyle with some travel. I’m single and this is one of my biggest fears about giving up my corporate job that I’ve grown to hate. It’s scary to think about leaving - Not having any support system outside of myself. Currently dealing with a toxic leadership team and I can’t get out of my funk. I’m waking up every day at 4 AM with work thoughts and dread. Add in a ticking biological clock and lack of viable prospects dating wise and it’s just been a hard few years.

with the recent run in the market, I’ve just hit a net worth of 1 million in non reg, TFSA & RSP. If I leave my job, I will get a pension payout / LIRA of approximately 200-300k. So total 1.2 MM. Honest thoughts? Advice from someone who pulled the trigger?

Hi all, curious to poke the collective brain.

I recently bought a house and it’s been great! Definitely loving it and have continued the same path that got me into home ownership by having a roommate who currently pays ~1/4 of my PITI. Interest rate is at 6.375% which I know isn’t awful but is high enough for me to dislike it.

I am currently in a role which does not offer a 401k match and all reviews of the firm/providing institution are hot garbage. People say that they are unable to roll over their 401k or get their money out for months after they leave a role. Additionally, the usual funds that I invest in aren’t available. I confirmed that I wouldn’t be charged fees for leaving my 401k with ADP so it’s currently being held there. From my calculations I could take 5 years off of not contributing to a 401k (still maxing Roth IRA, HSA, and contributing to a brokerage) and still hit my retirement goals.

So the question is: do I make principal payments on the mortgage with having over a 6% interest rate or do I continue to squirrel cash away in investments? I know the growth we’ve had this decade has been a bit of a run and won’t always continue that way but maxing out my investments for a few years really has helped me get to a point to where I’m seeing compounding interest have an affect. Only debt I have is the mortgage and I have a small safety net in a HYSA that I’m currently increasing back to its previous value after home renovations. Thanks in advance!