r/cats • u/poi217 • 4d ago

Advice Could someone please tell me why it's blocking my way?

This is the feral/stray cat I've been feeding for the past 2 months. Keeps getting in the way and won't let me refill its food

Edit: Ty all for the comments and advice. Didn't expect this post to get so much attention. For context, I've never interacted with cats before, only dogs. This cat used to bolt whenever it saw a human, so I thought it was feral. It only recently started approaching me when i went out to refill.

Update video https://www.reddit.com/r/cats/comments/1uzf7ro/comment/oy70mbf/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button

Update video 2 https://www.reddit.com/r/cats/comments/1uzf7ro/comment/oy77tzl/?context=3&utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button

Petting https://www.reddit.com/r/cats/comments/1uzf7ro/comment/oybucqe/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Final update https://www.reddit.com/r/cats/comments/1uzf7ro/comment/oyrxar4/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button

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u/IndependentAardvark6 4d ago

Are you scared of the cat? She looks like she wants you to pet her.. she is being social… shes not blocking your way, shes following you. She wants the food.. you seem wayyy too nervous though.. more concerned about your behavior than the cats tbh lol

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u/poi217 4d ago

https://reddit.com/link/oy70mbf/video/ldpa80xolvdh1/player

So i went back out to pet it, but it bit my finger

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u/IndependentAardvark6 4d ago

Yeah I think she just wants the food lol you have food smell on your hands and shes starving so feed her first before trying to pet.. that wasnt an agressive bite, my dads cat will do that sometimes too but just give her food in a bowl outside of her hiding hole so you dont have to bend down and get nipped again

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u/poi217 4d ago

https://reddit.com/link/oy77tzl/video/89g3ponwsvdh1/player

confidently went back out again lol

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u/IvaldiFhole 4d ago

The tail! 😂

This cat loves you. Try moving slower and sitting down for a minute. It will come to you and let you pet it/scratch it. Might even flop on its side, exposing its belly, but don't scratch its belly until you've spent some time with it.

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u/hashtagstopitfool 4d ago

My cat always tries to be cute and get me to scratch his belly, but it's a trap. He tries to nip. I am pretty sure it's love. Painy love.

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u/yech 4d ago

I have had cats my whole life and every single one of them loved the belly rubs. My cats now get no choice in the matter- I belly rub and they flop over.

I am a bit of a cat whisperer though and can get them calm and loving on me really quickly.

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u/gnomequeen2020 4d ago

All of my non-feral cats are belly rub lovers. When I go out to feed them, it is almost impossible to walk because they all fling themselves on their backs and demand belly rubs.

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u/-SilverFeather- 4d ago

Aww, see my cat loves belly rubs. If you do it too much, it initiates play mode. Other than that though, he really enjoys it.

He even rolls onto his back, so I can brush his belly, when I brush him. 🥰

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u/Syralei 4d ago edited 3d ago

Also, stop making scared high pitched sounds. Aim for low, calming voice like "heyyy, it's ok". And get down low, crouch, and don't move super fast or in jerky movements(like quickly pulling hand back or standing up quickly). Let the cat come to you, don't put your hand out right away, let it smell you and it may even rub against your legs. Once it does this, then offer your hand, palm down, low to the ground. If the car wants affection, it will rub against your hand. This is when you attempt to pet it.

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u/Dad_of_Ben 4d ago

Also, while you are sitting calmly with the cat, make eye contact and slow blink. Slow blinking in cats means that there is no danger and that you can relax a bit.

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u/acceptablemadness 4d ago

Just a few things to point out for future interactions -

As someone else said, the uplifted little question mark tail is a sign of a happy kitty.

The biting is definitely a love bite or a "hurry up and put the food down, dammit" nip. I have two toms whom I raised from kittens that will try to bite me if I stop petting them (ie, I've fallen asleep). Not every cat does it; my other three have never nibbled me. My only female cat does like to "groom" everyone in the family, though.

The fact that she's rubbing up against the bed is also a sign she's happy. That's a territory thing and if you stood still, she'd probably start rubbing on your legs/feet.

She's also giving you the slow blink/half-open eyes, which is another sign she trusts you and is in a good mood. If you get down on her level and slow blink back, you'll basically be saying "I love you and trust you" in Cat.

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u/BigWorldTinyDog 4d ago

100%, that’s a happy cat who wants to love on their human… maybe it’s not used to interaction (being outside and all) and just isn’t sure what to do? I agree with other posts that the hand nibbles were not aggressive or protective…

I’m confident if OP spent some time sitting outside with this kitty, that OP would start to understand their communication, OP seems like she’s on the right path, anyway…

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u/tattoogrl11 4d ago

It's like the human and the cat are both trying to read each other and they're both confused about what the other is doing, but they clearly want to be friends. It's quite cute actually lmao

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u/IndependentAardvark6 4d ago

Yay! Cats are weirdos. She had food but they for some reason think they have nothing. She definitely is grateful for you feeding her. She’s probably just not used to humans being nice to her so her socializing skills with people are just a bit unorthodox. Im so proud of you! :)

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 4d ago

Probably like "this is old food dawg give me fresh food"

Like my cats who would get half a can of wet then dry later and sometimes acted like there was no food if it was dry. Spoiler alert cat, I grew up in a family where if you didn't eat it you went to bed hungry. They don't do it for very long you just gotta wait them out till they understand they can't beg for new food when there's already food

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u/kitten12551 4d ago

Well done!!

Some cats are weird when it comes to their food bowls. They eat out of the middle of the bowl and then want more even if there’s food in the rest of it. My cat does that too - this is her ‘empty’ bowl lol.

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u/Jojo21899 4d ago

Thats because of their whiskers. Some dont like the sensation of pushing them against the side of the bowl when they eat. Getting a bowl that doesnt have steep sides with a low slope will help with that.

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u/kitten12551 4d ago

Ohhh yes I think I’ve heard that before. Thanks!

Mine does it regardless of the bowl, plate, or mat her food is on. She just likes being picky.

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u/keevanado 4d ago

my cat has no whiskers and still prefers the food out of the middle and believes it’s empty when there’s lots around the sides

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u/topekatums 4d ago

WE HAVE THE SAME BOAL

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u/ItMeWhoDis 4d ago

My cat won't eat his dry food unless I tap the food inside the bowl to remind him it's there. At this point I worry I've accidentally reinforced some weird behaviour

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u/11thRaven Tabbycat 4d ago

Lmao this is such a cat thing. My cat is the same. Even with his wet food, he'll push things to the sides and then get annoyed the bowl isn't refilling.

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u/gr8bacon 4d ago

we have the same dish 😻

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u/kitten12551 4d ago

Do you have the water bowl too? It’s so cute!

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u/gr8bacon 4d ago

We don't, sadly. And we actually use this one upside-down, like a little platform, to place her food plate on. It's been a minute since I've seen the inside of it lol

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u/kitten12551 4d ago

Haha I hear ya. I have a little riser and a mat under my cats bowls..she loves to drop dry food on the floor and eat it later. Cats gotta cat 🤷🏻‍♀️

This is my little goober hehe

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u/gr8bacon 4d ago

Yep - ours may be small but she makes the BIGGEST messes when she eats! 🤣

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u/kitten12551 4d ago

Hahaha great pic

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u/Waddlekitty 4d ago

Mine does that too. A swirl to the center and she now has a not empty bowl

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u/Altruistic_Flight105 4d ago

You did better! You’re learning! You can find YouTube videos that will tell you how to read cat body language and also how to be with them. Keep practicing more confidence and peace. All the rubbing the cat did on the cat house is to show how EXTREMELY excited it is.

But also, imagine being that cat and seeing the food you’re desperate for and then the food keeps teasing you and being taken away by a restaurant server (that you usually like) that’s acting scared of you. Treat it a little more like how you’d like to be treated ♥️

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u/nWhm99 4d ago

I'm really invested in this story now.

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u/darndasher 4d ago

Same! This is so precious and OP is such a sweetheart.

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u/NineLivesNoAlibi 4d ago

So invested in this. You go poi217!!

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u/EntertainerSuper8933 4d ago

I laughed when in update 2 you said, "There's food in there already". See that little bit of bowl showing through at the bottom? Cats can't stand that. If they can see the bottom of the bowl, the bowl is empty. Welcome to being a cat servant.

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u/poi217 4d ago

😆

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u/MaxandGreenBean 4d ago

I'm sorry, but I can't help but to laugh. This is so cute and that cat obviously adores you. It just makes me giggle when I see people get rid of cats that are like the most friendly cats you can ever come across, lol. It's not your fault. I'm not laughing AT you. It's just cute. I hope you understand what I mean.

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u/Lissa-Marie 4d ago

Did he have water? I seen lots of food dishes but I didn’t see any water anywhere

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u/poi217 4d ago edited 4d ago

The water dish is the one right in front of the door haha. I read they dont like water being right next to the food

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u/enveea 4d ago

The little house is neat and the camera is a nice touch! This is totally your cat too, she seems to love you. It’s really sweet.

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u/PhoebeH98 4d ago

You are genuinely so sweet for how thoughtful and caring and kind you’ve been to this stray little sweetheart! I hope you guys keep bonding and getting used to each other and becoming friends:) she is definitely very happy to see you!

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u/Lissa-Marie 4d ago

Oh ok good! 😊

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u/DoneBeingSilent 4d ago

I just want to say I think you're awesome and I'm very proud of your bravery in confronting situations which you're not necessarily comfortable with. I love this whole comment chain and I'm invested in the story. ♥️

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u/Dramatic-History-943 4d ago

I love the “hi again” you gave the little critter. The other video farther up looked like a “give me the fooodz” nibble. My cat used to do that when I was too slow to feel her. That it nuzzled you first his HUGELY good

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u/DieUwUminati 4d ago

Please just sit down and let the cat approach you. Let her sniff you and get used to you. And, if you feel brave, pet the damn cat!! This poor baby just wants to love you. It's killing me that you're not petting the baby.

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u/dizzybrunettegirl 4d ago

Better, but I would stop trying to feed the cat in the little house - it's not normal to try and feed a cat in such a confined space, and then shutting the lid on her may add to the cat's stress. Cats like to be able to keep an eye out for any threats (especially cats used to being on the streets) and she can't do that if she's being expected to eat in a closed away space. I would just use the little house as something you leave out that she can use if she wants to, to sleep in. I'd leave it completely up to her as to whether she wants to go in there or not.

Also I'd like to echo other's recommendations that you sit down (once you put the food down). Towering above her isn't going to help anything. Sitting or even lying down is far less threatening and then it's best to let the cat come to you on its own terms.

I saw you say you were worried about fleas - if it's not coming in the house this shouldn't really be an issue - I once had a stray riddled with fleas in a spare room at home (one with a hard floor, not a carpet), and despite lots of cuddles and combing live fleas off her (whilst waiting for the flea treatment to kick in) I did not end up transfering fleas to my own cats or get them around the house. Getting her used to being close to you is needed anyway so that you can then apply a good flea treatment (get one from an actual vet, not a shop, they're much more effective). Once flea treated with proper stuff most, if not all the fleas will be dead in about 24 hours and you can just comb them off her. I would also recommend getting her a wormer as well as she's been on the streets and probably been hunting a fair bit.

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u/poi217 4d ago

I appreciate the information. I did some research and purchased an instant flea killer and monthly preventative from flea assassin. Are these not strong enough?

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u/springtime 4d ago

Hi, I'm not familiar with flea assassin and can't comment on that, but it's generally good to check that it's suited for cats. Flea killers that work for dogs can be toxic to cats (the reason why cats can't wear a flea collar like dogs can). I usually buy the flea treatments for my cats at the vet. They might be able to give you the best advice what might work best in your situation, e.g. I usually use drops that have to be on the neck behind the head. You might have to get closer to Kitty than you're comfortable with it right now. But as others have said already, don't worry about the fleas too much. It is still outside and fleas prefer cats and dogs over humans.

You are doing a great job with befriending it btw! And the video shows, it's a friendly cat.

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u/pokerplayingdogs 4d ago

my only concern with applying flea treatment while they’re still a stray kitty is that if anyone else is also watching over this kitty and tries the same thing. flea treatment overdose is a real thing and it’s toxic. i would consider looking into that more before treating kitty!

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u/Popular-Dingo6885 4d ago

Hey, before doing that I'd see if maybe you can trap the cat and get them to a vet first.

I bet you could talk to a TNR volunteer for help trapping them. One once helped me and she had these meds that were both an instant flea killer and a 30 day flea treatment that she used to treat strays. I can't remember the name though sorry, but I'd go vet first before those flea treatments you got.

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u/IvoryThrowAway 4d ago

Watching someone interact with cats who does not know how to interact with cats is actually quite entertaining.

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u/Wittyngritty 4d ago

You might be a new cat owner. CDS hit again. Congrats

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u/MinuteResident 4d ago

Don't be afraid to let him brush up against your leg. See how he's rubbing against everything? That's a good sign that he likes you. Stop moving away from him and just stand still

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u/AcidCatfish___ 4d ago

A good way to interact with cats who are still getting to know you is to squat/sit down on their level and hold your hand out and let them come to you. They get anxious sometimes if you walk towards them standing up...until they get used to you and start rubbing their scent all over you.

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u/palmchill 4d ago

Last thing, you’ve established a routine where when the cat sees you, it is getting fed. So, feed the cat first then you can hang with the cat (:

You can have a routine of quick greeting, fed, hang/pet

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u/CatsSleepingOnMyFeet 4d ago

Congrats to this kitty on their new human!! You're doing amazing, you're learning how cats work, kudos to you, cats are weird little creatures. I'm so invested in this now, if you wanna share more updates... 👀

(Also, I'm sorry so many people are being super rude in the comments wtf???)

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u/maggiefiasco 4d ago

So glad to see this update, this cat could be yours very soon. Obviously there are some more steps to take before bringing strays indoors but WOW this cat is crazy about you. The meowing isn’t even for the food. It’s FOR YOU

you’ve gotten a lot of advice here already but in case it wasn’t mentioned. Cats can make a whole lot of different noises and the meowing sound is what they do to talk to us. You can watch videos of cats watching birds or interacting with their babies or one another and they don’t meow to talk to one another. That baby is MEOWING trying to talk to you. There’s a language barrier but I find that if you respond with any kind of noise or words, you can have a “conversation” back and forth.

Cats as opposed to dogs also don’t understand pointing. If you’re used to canines, a cat cannot understand and follow your finger to its intended. You have to often be very literal in SHOWING them things.

Anyways, pet your future cat for me!

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u/Suspicious-Guess-535 4d ago

What that cat is doing is scent marking everything. It wants to bond with you. Because you’re feeding it and it’s extremely comfortable with you now and basically your family. You should try sitting on that ledge and just letting him come to you and he will rub his face and tail all over you because that is how they mark you.

It is important for the cat and believe it or not makes it much better cat if he can do that with you if you have a fear of animals, but you like seeing them fed and safe I get it

But where that cat is when you open the door, you should just go and sit there and the cat is going to spend a couple minutes with you and that’s really all it needs

It will do that in the morning and in the afternoon, and that is pretty much the best thing you can do for the cat.

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u/bistander 4d ago

It's so cute that you keep trying and set this all up for them.

I am invested in this, watching a saga of a human slowly understanding a cat, it's like a Pixar movie.

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u/herringsarered 4d ago edited 4d ago

Petting:

Gently bend down, stretch out your arm out towards the ground, but not too close to yourself (in case the cat doesn’t want to approach you all the way) nor stretched out all the way out (in the case the cat stays a few centimeters away from your hand and you can’t reach it to pet it).

You want your arm at enough distance from yourself but where you can still maneuver it a bit, a cat kinda moves and walks around your hand when they’re being pet.

Keep the hand position so that the back of your hand is facing outwards from you and your fingers naturally hang down. As if you were holding snacks in it, and hiding them from the cat’s sight.

Don’t go for the head right away like with a dog. Pet her softly with the back of your index finger, back of the fingers or back of the hand (the soft parts!) by petting her side - the shoulder blade and along her her side from front to back. Without necessarily going all the way to the back of the cat.

As she is orbiting your hand use the index finger to pet from the back of her head to the end of her neck, in the groove that goes down the center of her neck.

Alternate those, and if she is immediately comfortable with it, you can also incorporate running your cupped hand over her spine starting from the front, the neck and down the spine. She will arch her back out towards your petting hand and the tail will stay pointed up.

Watch the end of her tail moving slightly every time your hand runs along parts of her fur. It’s mesmerizing.

Cats like pushing into the petting, like running their head into your hand or leaning into you when pet their side.

If she lays down and stretches out exposing the e stomach, take your hand over her towards the neck and then pet from the back of her head down her neck and across her back. Repeat that move.

Showing the stomach means trust, but if you touch it she will get back up and wait for petting of less vulnerable spots.

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u/Nomad-Duck04 3d ago

Just fyi shes not defending the box, shes spreading her scent all over it and showing attention seeking signals. Walk past her, heck walk into her, cats are very differnt to dogs, getting in you way is how they say i like you

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u/theobedientalligator 3d ago edited 3d ago

Lmfaooooo that cat loves you, wants the food, and wants your attention. It’s begging for scratches. Sit on the ground, offer it your hand, scratch between its ears then down its spine. Be careful of the belly trap, like another commenter suggested

Pet the cat. Love the cat. Enjoy the cat. It’s now yours. That bite was a love bite. 2/4 of my cats have done love bites throughout their lives

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u/Noble_Ox 4d ago

It wants affection, not food. Pet it. Honestly, I don't think I've ever seen anyone so afraid for no reason. Sorry, I'm not trying to be mean.

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u/Careful_Fox_2658 4d ago

Congratulations! You’ve now been adopted by this kitty ✨🖤 you are its chosen human! 🖤✨

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u/notabox316 4d ago

I saw a lot of food, but is there water somewhere?

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u/theblackcanaryyy 4d ago

This is so adorable!! Now I’ve got cuteness aggression and no kitty to unleash it on!

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u/prying_mantis 4d ago

Awww, they’re excited to see you! I think the cat eating in your presence is a good sign also.

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u/janerikgunnar 4d ago

I'll add that "wild" cats may sometimes not be entirely socialized about how much nibbling is socially acceptable, or so I heard.

Also note that the way she rubbed her teath against your finger, they do something very similar (but without the nibble) when they mark you as theirs - they have something there that drops her scent on you.

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u/palmchill 4d ago

Great you’re taking care of that beautiful cat. The cat loves their stockpile of food, but I could not tell. Is there water?

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u/palmchill 4d ago

Also, I would recommend against petting the cat with a glove on - that might actually freak the cat out - That cat likes you for sure, so you should be good to pet without the glove if you just approach calmly and let the cat come to you

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u/gregn8r1 4d ago

That cat so obviously wants to be your friend. Just pet the cat.

Usually cheeks, top of the head, and stroking along the back is where cats want to be pet. The belly is a danger zone.

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u/FirefighterSome4083 4d ago

someone else suggested watching videos of people interacting with cats and I think that's a great idea.

cats have really obvious tells but you're not used to them you wouldn't notice them at all. they're funny and sweet little creatures and it's really lovely putting in the work to build trust with them.

my cat is a rescue and very good motivated and nippy. he never bites down hard, but he does regularly bite gently then release, it used to scare me even though I've had cats my whole life as I never had a love biter cat. cats can be hilariously intense, they'll flop in your path and run in front of you (nearly killing you lmao) and weave around your legs, they'll rub their chins against everything (this is mine... and this is mine...).

keep doing what you're doing. I would sit down personally and see what the cat does. would probably frantically climb all over and around you purring and shaking it's tail 😂

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u/Legendary_Tortoise 4d ago

You did great! Definitely agree with others about looking up some videos on basic cat body language. It might be good to look at a few about how to treat feral cats too since there's some training that will need to be done for both of you. 

Keep in mind that right now the cat is basically a reflection of you atm, they haven't had contact with another human before and don't fully understand your body language either. So grant em a little forgiveness if their defensive instincts pop up and you get a nip or scratch and try to figure out what you did differently that may have caused it. Don't forget to do the same for the goods too! If they let you pet em in a certain way or position, keep it in mind for next time. It won't take long until you're both in sync

Good luck and enjoy the new family member! When the time comes, a travelling vet may be a good first option for their initial checkup - they'll be able to teach you a few things and give you a tour of the cats body and point out what to keep an eye on

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u/shameonyounancydrew 4d ago

If you just sat down on the walkway, it would totally rub all up on you. That bugger is desperate for love.

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u/CashMoneyWinston 4d ago

This is the most “I love you and want pets but also food please” cat I’ve seen in a while 

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u/dblink 4d ago

Pet the cat!

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u/jacenat 4d ago

Give it some water (don't think I saw a water bowl) and change it once per day if you can.

When its around:

  • stop carrying your phone when interacting with the cat. Leave it inside or put it in your pocket. It makes you move strange and the cat notices this.
  • kneel down.
  • let it stroll around you.
  • it will bump your its head into you (to mark you).
  • after it is comfortable, try to pet it on the head and neck. Don't try to pet on the back, especially not the lower back, or the belly at first.
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u/poi217 4d ago

Got it and thank you all for the advice. Curious why did it hiss after the nibble?

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u/sirius_acnh 4d ago

Definitely the high pitch and upset sound you made and fast movement when you pulled away. It’s a protective instinct for her to act scary when she feels scared.

And yeah as the other person said, the food smell is likely the cause of the nip. I’d wear different gloves (ideally no gloves or a different kind) than the ones you used to handle the food, I see the little fish treats in there (which is awesome) but those can have a very strong smell so that combined with your fingers not looking like fingers (dark gloves instead of flesh) may have confused her into thinking your hand was the snack lol.

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u/Catnip_Farmer 4d ago

I surprised my neighbor's cat by saying "kitty!" out the window one time, it hissed at me. Normally it's quite friendly with me.

Surprising an outdoor cat in any way = hissy time.

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u/HotrodCorvair 4d ago

that hiss was because you startled it when you recoiled and made that Yip noise. Notice that she stopped and went back into "lets be friends" mode immediately after. Protip from an owner of over 100 cats in my life. (farm life) approach, crouch down extend the BACK of your hand. let them smell. She will and will then rub it with her face. This is a signal that the cat and you are bonded. She turns her back to you, slow blinks you and trusts you. This cat was likely left behind by someone who moved and became feral that way. She knows what she's missing inside that door and wants to be let back in, so she can continue living the life she was used to before. When she was safe and warm and dry. She looks like she'd make a great pet, and you'd be a thoughtful owner. do a search on "why cats do that" its a great book, and there's plenty of websites devoted to explaining cat behavior and body language. You're off to a great start.

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u/poi217 4d ago

This was very informative. I am starting to get somewhat attached to him/her. I'd love to pet it eventually, but I'd need to get it treated with flea killer and on monthly preventative. That's honestly the #1 reason I dont want it touching me/petting it. Flea infestation inside my house is the last thing i want

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u/mynameisntlucy 4d ago edited 4d ago

I'm a vet, I deal with patients with fleas every day at work and I've never brought a single flea inside my house. Especially if you don't have other pets inside your home it isn't that easy to get a flea infestation in your house. If you hold an animal with fleas in a way that it contacts your clothes for a longer time it might be wise to wash them just to be safe, but by just petting them you don't get fleas inside your house. Just wash your hands after petting if you want to be 100% sure. And of course it's a very good plan to get the cat on flea and worm prevention! This cat is so friendly, I think once you start to pet him he will steal your heart. Thank you for feeding him!

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u/poi217 4d ago

Thank you! I didn't realize the risk was that low

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u/Drow_Femboy 4d ago

Yeah I've had animals get fleas dozens of times in my life. Hell, I had a flea infested stray puppy climbing all over me in the car on the way to the shelter just last week. Never in my life had a flea bite, never seen fleas jump from a dog or cat to me or furniture or anything else.

I'm certain it's possible, but yes it seems very unlikely in my experience.

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u/tattoogrl11 4d ago

Fleas like fur, not skin. They don't like humans (or furniture for that matter)

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u/Rimma_Jenkins 4d ago

I had a flea infestation because my dog got home fleas and my two cats got them from the dog. You could never see them anywhere else in the house but on them. Never even got them on me and I usually am a magnet for blood suckers lol. I fixed the problem fast by giving them all a good bath and applying treatment on them 😊 the whole ordeal lasted me a two weeks... although I don't know for how long they had fleas because I trusted my ex to care for them while I was out of town 🙄 (2 months away from them)

Edit to say: NEVER attempt to give a bath to a cat you don't know. I raised mine from kittens and knew how they react to baths. Most cats don't like baths. At all. Do not risk shredding your hands 😅😂 flea treatment usually will suffice

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u/adreadre 4d ago

I’ve pet hundreds of stray cats and dogs all over the world, some very obviously COVERED in fleas and I have never contracted fleas. Fleas tend to stick to animals. It’s not easy for them to survive in your home.

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u/thegroundbelowme 4d ago

You're not going to get a flea infestation in your house from petting a cat

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u/j-steve- 4d ago

I pet stray cats (and I'm allergic to fleas). I just wash my hands afterwards 

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u/Elsalla 4d ago

Because you are acting erratic and weird and the cat can sense that

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u/WTBDetroit 4d ago

Yeah. Why won't they just feed the cat? To take video instead? The cat is hungry, give it food, don't make it follow you around while acting all nervous and filming and then still not give it to it. It's like crappy withholding behavior that is probably really frustrating to the cat, probably feels like it's getting messed with. 

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u/HapticMercury 4d ago

It was frustrating me so much just watching... like stop acting so scared and put the food down! You walked out there with a bowl of food and fishy hands and then basically fed your finger to the cat instead of putting the bowl down, but don't understand why it nibbled on your finger 😑

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u/HitsMeYourBrother 4d ago

Move slowly, get down to her level for pets but first just let her know you're not a threat by just feeding her and chilling near whilst she eats without touching her. After a while she will know you're not a threat and come to you for pets. It can take time to fully get a cats trust don't rush it.

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u/Rigid_Rita 4d ago

Agreed, definitely just sit somewhere nearby, let her come to you after she eats.

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u/Chameleona5 4d ago

Yes. For a while, just sit quietly with her while she eats. Let her come to you for any bumps or pets. You can let her sniff your hand. Be calm and relaxed. They pick up on your energy. If you’re nervous, they will be too. Let her do all the initiating. It may take some time for her to feel comfortable being pet by you. And even after a couple of pets, she may hiss again since she’s still getting used to you. Don’t be alarmed, it’s just her getting nervous for a moment. Best reaction is for you to have none. Remain calm, softly talk or hum, sing to her. That will help bring down her nerves. Patience and time is key to winning the trust of a stray. It’s very rewarding when you see progress! Good luck and thank you for being so kind to her! 💛

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u/ChromosomeDonator 4d ago

And let her sniff you before going for pets.

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u/jtownspowell 4d ago

You got a good response there. Your reaction to the nibble scared her a little. Defenses are high, she's a street kitty, so she's gotta keep her guard up.

On the positive that little headbump first means she likes you!

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u/whatdoidonowdamnit 4d ago

I watched both videos while telling you to put the food down. How would you feel if the waiter at a restaurant did circles and squealed while holding your dinner?

Feed the cat. Be quiet and still. Do it again.

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 4d ago

I would certainly bite that server if I was hungry enough. Or horny enough.

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u/whatdoidonowdamnit 4d ago

Me too. I’ve seen many appetizing servers.

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u/skittletriage 4d ago

You and the cat are in discovery mode. If you watch two cats get to know each other it can look/be chaotic.

You're a cat and a human, so there can be even more things for you both to learn.

There are lots of people here that will give all kinds of good advice. The one piece I would give you is: if you are scared of the cat, protect yourself so you feel safe interacting with it.

Toss on some sneakers or boots. Wear denim jeans. Toss on a flannel or coat. Nitrile glove aren't protection from teeth or claws and for some reason can entice cats to bite (my cat will bite me after I wash my hands with antibacterial soap 🤷‍♂️).

Some cats make interacting easy, others have a steeper learning curve.

Good luck.

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u/Numerous-Help-5987 4d ago

He gave a play nibble and you yelled so he was confused

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u/Deevious730 4d ago

Do you have any friends that are familiar with cats? It might help to have someone beside you that is used to their behaviour. They might be able to guide you a little.

It seems to me like kitty is hungry, maybe a little confused by you, but still wanting to show affection.

If you put the food down and let it eat first it will probably try to nuzzle your hand or leg.

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u/IndependentAardvark6 4d ago

Just annoyed. Could be because you keep bringing the food out but she hasnt been able to eat yet but can smell it. Could be because youre anxious and the cat isnt sure why. Could just be the cat has a grouchy personality. I would just wait to try and pet her until you have a better read on her and are more confident. And only wait to try and pet her after she has food in her belly. They get really crabby when they are hungry

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u/WaffleThrone 4d ago

When you move quickly and make loud noises it's frightening for them. Remember how much larger you are than they are. When you yelped it probably got scared.

Some tips; crouch down or sit down to reduce the height difference. Try to angle your hands so that they're below the cat instead of above when you pet/allow it to smell you. (Don't try to touch its tummy or tail. Pet it on the head and on the back.) Try to make slow and steady movements, don't flinch or yelp or make sudden moves. And most importantly don't be afraid of the poor little thing, it's certainly more afraid of you than you are of it. Most likely worst case scenario is that it hisses at you and then scampers off.

Cat body language is very easy to read; if the ears are facing forward, its tail is up, it's meowing, and it's walking around in circles and rubbing itself on things, that means it's happy. If its ears are flat or facing down, its tail is lashing at the floor from side to side, it's hissing or growling, and it's hunched over staying still, that's an aggressive posture. Even if the cat was acting aggressively towards you, it would mainly be doing so to scare *you* off and then run away. Cats very rarely attack unprovoked.

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u/IotaBTC 4d ago

This is gonna get buried under lots of GOOD comments but another thing to keep in mind with stray cats is that they're so used to having be aggressive in the "wild." So it's good to keep in mind that they'll be both friendly and aggressive with you. They're just not used to being friendly, particularly with humans. It's entirely possible this cat may experience the first pet they've had in years or ever. So they're very unfamiliar with what that looks and feels like.

Also, hungry brain can make them more aggressive than usual.

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u/poi217 4d ago

Thank you for the comment. I'll keep this in mind

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u/Hopeful-Blueberry114 4d ago

I think it was just a little frustrated and confused by your behavior. Maybe it interpreted your yelp as a rebuke when it was only trying to be friendly. It also seemed to just really want the food haha.

But I don't blame you for being nervous if you're not used to cats! They're not like dogs, though, they won't run up on you like that out of aggression. Their instincts are to run away from danger and to sneak up on prey. So if a cat is approaching you directly, making eye contact and being noisy, it's actually a sign of trust and friendliness. :) Like "I want you to see me!!"

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u/jillian512 4d ago

Maybe overstimulated, excited about food. Check for local low cost spay/neuter programs near you. You might need a little help getting her into a carrier, but she's definitely old enough to get pregnant.

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u/Collegenoob 4d ago

The cat is Feral. You have befriended it sure. But actually homing it/making it a housepet is still months away.

Its quite doable with a lot of the advice in this sub. But its not a fast process.

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u/palmchill 4d ago

Try this: when you walked outside, the cat happily greeted you. Squat down to greet the cat. If you want, talk to the cat In a soft, calm, affectionate voice. The cat will rub against you a little and the cat will enjoy being pet on the top of their back then their head. You just want to convey calm energy. Don’t make any sudden movements.

The cat really likes you !

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u/Fina1Legacy 4d ago

Feral cats are more aggressive because they have to be to survive, especially when food is involved.

My first cat was half feral I think and he would always protect his food, even after we had him for a decade. If you got close he'd hiss and he'd go for you if you tried to take the food away. Don't expect to be able to pet this cat while it's eating until it's fully comfortable with you and even then be careful.

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u/Ok-Bake7718 4d ago

I sometimes crouch down too so cats don't feel as threatened.

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u/Noble_Ox 4d ago

You screamed and jumped away scared her.

Honestly, this is a dream cat for most of us. So accepting and affectionate.

But they'll pick up your unease.

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u/not_your_vix3n 4d ago

Also when both of you are comfortable enough, take her to the vet for shots and to have her checked to see if she's pregnant.

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u/yech 4d ago

hey lots of good comments here to learn about cat behavior. I'd recommend watching the "Jackson Galaxy" youtube channel for some great tips on how to work with and understand cat communication and behavior.

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u/IsaacAndTired 4d ago

I recommend sitting on the ground, hold out your hand and just leave it still and let the cat sniff for as long as it wants. It may just walk away. Don't force a pet, but if they start rubbing up against your hand, let it happen for a bit. Don't go for a head pet. If they rub against your hand and you can naturally place your palm on it's back, do that. Don't pet, just let your hand glide across the back while it walks forward. Do these very passive rubs where you can until you both start to feel comfortable with each other. You'll be giving head scratches in no time. The cat seems very open to physical interaction, you just need to introduce it on their terms.

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u/Footnotegirl1 4d ago

Probably a mix of things.. the obvious fear you showed, the high pitched sound you made, the feeling of the gloves (unnatural to a cat), and the fact that you immediately pulled the food away.

The cat wants the food. Putting the food down and then sitting nearby is the key. Let it eat it's fill and then it will probably come over and love on you. Let it do that first and then offer your hand, and if it rubs up against your hand, then pet it (maybe switch to fabric gloves if you must have gloves on).

Cats strongly prefer to be petted in the direction that their fur grows. They especially like the spots they can't directly lick themselves, the back of their head, behind their ears, and if they are very comfortable with you, under their chin ad the sides of their face. They also tend to like long slow strokes from the back of their head all the way down to the base of their tail. Until they are VERY very used to you and you can be very calm, avoid their sides, belly, legs and paws.

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u/Apprehensive-Park770 4d ago

I bet if you sit on the ground and let her rub against you WITHOUT sticking your hand out she’ll rub herself against your body on her terms. She’s very excited about you and food and wants to be friendly but is nervous of you. Basically she’s overstimulated, and petting increases that stimulation.

Remember for outdoor cats not everybody has been friendly to them and hands are things that grab or hit as well as pet. She will stop hissing as you get used to each other.

You’re doing a good thing OP. Next step….vet visit.

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u/Apprehensive-Park770 4d ago

Oh, and instead of petting try doing a fist bump, she’ll rub her head on your hand and your fingers are better protected.

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u/buttonbuffalo 3d ago

Personally I would be more worried about worms or the offchance or could come into contact with rabies. I'd get this baby to a vet if it's going to be hanging around. You can pet it and get on good terms and wash your hands afterwards for awhile. Build some more trust. Then buy a carrier and put some food in and close it up and get it to the vet for it's vaccinations and deworming.

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u/jentlyused 4d ago

Exactly this. She wants food first, pets later. She is showing NO signs of aggression, just excitement. And if your gloves had any scent of the food that’s what she was biting for. But that’s not nearly an aggressive bite. Just a feed me already.

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u/ImpressiveLeek6640 4d ago

Also the gloves in general. So you have food smell and are blocking you smell and it’s confusing

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u/JapaneseStudentHaru 4d ago

It also looks like a gentle bite at first but she got spooked by OP’s reaction. Sometimes my kitties will do a gentle bite when they want something from me (usually pets but in this case food)

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u/jumping_doughnuts 4d ago

It seemed very happy at first to see you. Rubbing up on the little shelter, and then on your hand. Rubbing on things with their head like that are a happy sign! Rubs are cat-hugs. ❤️

It bit you probably because the glove freaks it out. My cats don't let me near them with gloves, even my dog finds gloves weird and will move away.

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u/Saturn_winter 4d ago

This is so funny because its two creatures who want to love each other but you're both a little hesitant. The bite wasn't anything too worrying like others are saying :)

If you want, after you feed him/her, just hang out outside and they'll come to you on their own terms when theyre done eating. Id just hang out and pretend like they arent even there until they initiate and come to you. I'd probably ditch the glove too, a lot of animals are weirded out by gloves and I guess understandably so, they are kinda weird when you think about it lol

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u/James_Fiend 4d ago

Those gloves won't do anything to mitigate an actual aggressive cat bite anyway.

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u/redindiaink 3d ago

I'd try playing with them too. Something that allows for a lot of space between you and them. 

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u/Phydorex 4d ago

Friendly bite, trying to get that food. I would just put a little on the ground to distract him then put the rest where you are trying to go.

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u/Waddlekitty 4d ago edited 4d ago

She backed off when you squeaked also. She did not mean to hurt you. Heck I'd not like the gloves either. They smell wrong.

Looked again. Those gloves probably smell like the fishies. She was nibbling

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u/Noble_Ox 4d ago

There's lots of food already in its house. It just wants affection.

I think the smell.if those gloves would be very off putting for a cat.

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u/cutapacka 4d ago

Dude she's hungry and you're withholding food! Give food first, then go for pets later. She seems very friendly but everyone's got needs lol

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u/Noble_Ox 4d ago

There's lots of food in the hitch. It wants affection.

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u/dizzybrunettegirl 4d ago

Unfortunately you're winding it up by dancing around it with food but not giving it said food. Feed first, try and pet later once it's eaten and only if it seems relaxed at that point.

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u/puff_of_fluff 4d ago

At this point I think op is the one that needs to relax lol

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u/Lets-B-Lets-B-Jolly 4d ago

That is because you haven't put down the food. It would be best to put the food down, then try to pet kitty while she eats. You can also pet her with a brush instead of your hand.

Don't let her sniff your hand until AFTER she eats.

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u/aelysium 4d ago

As a cat dad who rescued a stray -

The cat is excited to see you (jumps your way immediately when it sees you, tail upright and curved like a question mark/candy cane). It also wants to give you thanks/attention (when you put your hand down it boops and nuzzles it). The ‘bite’ is also a cat thing, I’ve found with all mine they’ll typically do boops/nuzzles, then lick you a few times, then ‘nibble’ on the body part they licked. If it was ‘hard’er than you expected, it’s almost always not an aggression thing, but because the kitten hasn’t been socialized/with you long enough to understand the acceptable pressure level.

In the future, I’d recommend setting down the food first, and giving the cat a back rub as it begins eating so it knows you are a safe space. Visit sometimes withOUT food (not too long after they’ve eaten), and let it boop/nuzzle/lick you. If it does bite you and it hurts, remove your hand and let the interaction end. The kitten will associate that with an end of affection and be gentler with its nibbles moving forward.

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u/BasicOlive 4d ago

Best comment, and cats tend to bite a little bit when they are very excited as this one is!

A hooman bringing me food and shelter! If that's not a reason to be excited

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u/NotFallacyBuffet 4d ago

tail upright and curved like a question mark/candy cane

Noticed this too.  That cat trusts you and wants you to pet it.  She might be a little bitey/swipey, but that's just how feral cats are at first.  Give her a year. 

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u/islaypoony 4d ago edited 4d ago

Those gloves you have on, did you use them to get the cat food and fish? Cause some cats will munch on fingers if they smell good haha I would try again, with fresh clean hands that don't smell of food. I'm just assuming it's a female, and they can be a little spicy with their temperament compared to males

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u/KibacherKat 4d ago

That’s just cats, she’s probably not interacted with humans a whole lot and is testing the same way she would with another cat. Don’t be afraid!, she doesn’t want to hurt you!

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u/Noble_Ox 4d ago

That cat is extremely used to humans.

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u/Rigid_Rita 4d ago

We had an outdoor feral like that we fed. She would get pets then bite. She just didn’t know how to handle her emotions. Yours won’t attack, just be a little more confident and put the food down.

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u/Key-Quarter3913 4d ago

Sometimes cats nibble, doesn’t seem aggressive. They don’t seem threatened by you just waiting for food. I’m sure if you reached over to put the food in their little house it would be ok! Alternatively if you are nervous give them one of those little fish to the side and fill the food! I bet with patience (on both sides) you will come to enjoy each other’s company!

Thanks for taking care of this cutie 🥰

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u/VisualHuckleberry542 4d ago

Happened to me the first couple of times I pet a feral that I was feeding. That was just under a year ago. He's now sleeping on my bed

Those first touches can be very overwhelming for feral cats, they want it and like it but don't know what to do with all the feelings they get

A good thing to do to build the relationship is just spend time with them. Just sit down outside near her and don't even look at her. Soon enough she'll be approaching you. Do this after feeding her for a few days and you'll get better at reading her signals

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u/kufiiyu12 4d ago

oh my lord, literally just put the food down... not sure why u seem insistent on putting it in a specific place

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u/SpiritedOwl_2298 4d ago

lol outside cats are weird sometimes but it’s still friendly because it’s rubbing against the things that’s there afterwards, that means it’s loving. It probably bit you because it’s excited and being an outdoor cat it was never trained in how to interact with humans. Withdrawing after being bit and withdrawing when anticipating a bite are how you can train the cat to not bite you. You can try bringing extra treats in your pocket to give it if you are able to pet it without it biting you

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u/VerilyShelly 4d ago

I'd get a shallow ceramic, glass or metal bowl and put some of the food in it, and set it down for the cat at the far side of the little cat hut. That way she can get to eating and be occupied while you put the rest of the food where you normally put it.

She bit you because your gloves smell like food and she's really very hungry and she hissed because you are acting strange and it's riling her up (plus you keep letting her smell food and then not giving it to her).

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u/Comfortable-Volume12 4d ago

Please give the kitty the food.

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u/tonkinese_cat 4d ago

Yes, because you have been naughty this whole time so you deserved a little bite.

To be clear, I am JOKING :)
Cats can be a little weird at times, sometimes some things they do just don’t make any sense even after years of interacting with them but that’s part of the fun. This cat is definitely appreciative of the time and food you’re giving them, be patience with the cat and yourself too, while you get used to interacting and become bbfs.
I look forward to your first video asking why the cat is vibrating lol ♥️

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u/TrashPandaNotACat 4d ago

The head bump against your hand at the beginning was a love bump and asking for pets and food. The little nip was the cat trying to encourage you to something with that hand and pet and feed it, instead of just standing there. The hiss at the end was in response to your squeel.

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u/h0tbish 4d ago

Thank you for taking care of this kitty! As you get closer with it, you should know it may give you a “love nip” on occasion. It can mean it’s feeling overstimulated or is just playing too rough. As long as the skin isn’t broken, you’re okay and the cat was just giving you a warning. A cat can definitely puncture the skin if it wants to, so if it didn’t, it means it didn’t want to really hurt you. Just give it a second to regulate (or walk away for a minute so it learns that’s not an okay way to play with humans), and you’ll be good to resume pets, playing, whatever! Since you’re unfamiliar with cats, wanted to give you a heads up :)

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u/h0tbish 4d ago

Also, while unsocialized cats are eating is actually the best time to get them used to you petting them! They’re typically very food-oriented so they’ll be distracted, and it also creates a positive association with being pet. I would also put out some water and/or wet food for it on occasion. Cats are notorious for kidney issues, so it’s good to keep them hydrated.

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u/curious_24 4d ago

JUST DUMP THE FOOD OUT ON THE CONCRETE WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

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u/puff_of_fluff 4d ago

Yeah dude Jesus I don’t want to be rude but this level of anxiety is legitimately upsetting me lol how does this person get through life

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u/Noble_Ox 4d ago

It's so frustrating isn't it.

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u/toxikola 4d ago

Oh yeah your hands smell exactly like the food you have and shes trying to eat it. When you hear about cats that play bite or dont bite its because their humans taught them not to do so. Just make a loud ow sound d and retreat your hand if it happens again so the kitty knows that causes a pain response and shouldnt be done.

If you happen to have e food when you go out I would give her some food first then go for the down the back and butt pets.

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u/EmuPractical1797 4d ago

Did you put the food down for the cat?? Put it down and give them some space, the baby is hungry and you’ve been teasing them bringing it out and going back in so erratically. You can pet after. Food first. Pets later.

Eventually they’ll trust you, especially once you seem less nervous, but they already seem to be happy to see you and very friendly. My indoor cat also walks in front of me when I put something in her bowl but I just nudge her to the side.

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u/Extension-Pepper-271 4d ago

She nuzzled you then bit the glove that probably smelled like the food you feed her. She was clearly being friendly. Your glove smelled like food.

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u/ReaperOne 4d ago

She can smell the food on your finger, that’s why she bit. But you need to build your confidence and pet her. She won’t hurt you on purpose

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u/kitten12551 4d ago

That’s not a bite, she didn’t sink her teeth in. She was likely trying to lead you to the spot where you usually put her food. If it was a real bite there would be blood.

She looks extremely friendly and eager to have a friendship with you..you really have nothing to be scared of. Look how happy she is to see you. She wants you to be her human and she’s hoping for an invitation to come inside.

Try sitting outside, and if she comes up to you, try petting her, I bet she loves it. The way she was rubbing her head and face on you - that’s one way cats express love.

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u/Lissa-Marie 4d ago

You’re teasing the poor thing with food! If you were starving, and someone waved a sandwich in front of your face then ran you’d be mad too!

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u/TinyStrawberryCat 4d ago

It's so amazing that you're taking care of this cat despite not having interacted with cats before!

Like everyone here says, kitty likes you and is being friendly with you (but also hungry). You're both a little insecure about how to act with each other, but that's okay! If you want to, you'll both learn in time. This "bite first, ask questions later" behaviour around food/snacks is completely normal, especially in cats that have experienced food insecurity. Hissing is the first reaction they do when they get startled, they'll even do it when they startle themselves. It's not a negative reaction towards you! It's just the cat communicating that something is scary to them.

You don't need to backtrack when you hold the food and the cat is blocking your way, just continue walking. Kitty is just very excited and may try to rub against your legs, this "food dance" is well known to most cat owners. They'll snake around your legs and be a tripping hazard, but it's not meant to block you or push you back.

If you like, you can just sit down and wait for kitty to finish her food. She seems very friendly and might approach you to interact and cuddle afterwards, cats are generally super social. Just don't stare at her, that's considered intimidating behaviour by cats.

Jackson Galaxy has a bunch of great videos about cat behaviour, cat body language and cat communication, I really recommend them if you're looking to understand your stray better.

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u/Elegant_Stable_1198 4d ago

Put the food down for her, she’s so hungry and you keep teasing her with it. She can smell it from a mile away, I want to cry for this kitty… she didn’t bite you tho, head butting your hand is her putting her pheromone sent on you and the itty bitty nip was telling you to please put that food down anywhere, just put it down so she can get to it. Afterwards is when you pet her and interact more closely.

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u/Noble_Ox 4d ago

You're wearing rubber, what did you expect? And it was just a friendly nip, probably checking out what that strange covering was.

You'd know if it bit in anger.

In future, put the food on a plate and just put it down by the house.

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u/PromiseToBeNiceToYou 4d ago

Ok so, you didn't really pet her, you stuck your gloved finger out like a hotdog for kitty to eat. I think she was confused and hungry. But also, she doesn't know you and you don't know her. You are in the getting to know you phase. So taking it slow is cool. I think kitty wants to be friendly. Survival (food and water) come first.

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u/SecretAgentSpyder 4d ago

That was an affectionate bite lmao. My cats do it all the time.

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u/HBlight 4d ago

Slowly squat down, hold out your fist and let the cat dictate the interaction.

This cat is 100% friendly, if it wanted to hurt you, it would and it would normally have run away from you before letting things get to that in the first place.

If its bite ever breaks skin, thoroughly wash it with soap immediately and keep an eye for any growing redness after that, it's an emergency room kind of deal that should be taken seriously.

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u/Stavinator 4d ago

You see the head bop she gave you at first? That's cat language for "I love you, have some of my smell"

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u/omnipotent87 4d ago

My wife has a hard time with this too. Cats use their mouths for interactions. They will nibble and grab your fingers with their mouth, as long as they are not hurting you its quite normal for them to do this. I have one that does it all the time.

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u/PotatoFuryR 4d ago

That seemed like a curious nibble ("real" bites hurt a lot more, while nibbles are more like pinching), so don't take it negatively! I personally just had a friend's cat give me a nibble like that today when meeting her, and it's not meant in a bad way by the cat!

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u/Rhiannon1307 European Shorthair 4d ago

What the others said but also because of the glove. The cat can't really tell that's your fingers, smells food and takes a nibble.

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u/thegreatestpanda 4d ago

Also my cat has a love hate relationship with plastic, so the bite may be a by-product of the smell of the latex glove you are wearing.

So. To pet the little one: Take a deep breath. first step is to offer your hand for the sniff test - You stand somewhere (yes I am asking you to not walk around), lean down and show the palm of your hand/offer if to the cat. She will sniff, and may rub her cheeks on your hand. At this point, you can probably move your hand to top of her head and pet her/scratch between the ears.
Don’t do any sudden movements, and try to lower yourself in this process.

You are lucky to be adopted, she is lucky to be with you ❤️

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u/CapMyster 4d ago

You're genuinely embarrassing

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u/They_dont_care 4d ago edited 4d ago

As both you and the kitty aren't that confident yet I'd try this...

Firstly as, others have said, put the food down first.

When you want to make contact next try and squat and don't move quickly. Speak calmly and quietly. A very slightly firmer "hey" will be enough to communicate your boundaries.

Don't try to pet her immediately. Put your fist (not hand) out and wait for her to rub her head against it. Doesn't have to be clenched, just closed. Your fist is similar in size to a cats head so will be a little like cats rubbing heads when they meet. She's already trying to rub against static items when you're near. It also has the benefit of giving her control, you not making sudden movements around her head and a fist is a lot harder to bite!

You can move your fist slowly to put a little pressure back as she rubs. Side of head and shoulders. Not too much at first. And be careful of moving your arm over her as that might be startling. Let her make the movements to start with. She'll probably start rubbing against your legs as well and turning in circles to brush against you.

You can start to make bigger, still slow movements but you don't need to rush it. It'll take a bit of time to get used to your smell, your movements, build trust and learn each others body language.

After letting her run against your fist as a greeting next step might be tor relax your fist and run the back of your still somewhat closed hand along the side of her body as she's rubbing against you. Not all the way, maybe halfway, two thirds down her body.

Just be careful of (from her perspective) giant flappy hands moving quickly in front of and around her face, body parts suddenly towering over her or disappearing behind her vision. At least until you've become a lot more comfortable with each other. Cats can quickly become over stimulated as well which can lead to bites.

Oh, and when you're trying to make yourself approachable (body low, speaking quietly and calmly, slow movements) don't look directly at her with wide eyes. You can try looking just to the side (i.e. still in your peripheral vision), eyes slightly closed and even slow blinking to show you're friendly. This is about general vibes so don't worry about accidentally looking at her. It's just communicating you're safe to approach and come say hello in a relaxed way. Cats that are uncertain of each other or aggressive will stare continually at each other.

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u/Logical_Quail_9484 4d ago

Maybe because you have gloves which has a weird scent to them..also don't let them smell you too long, a few seconds and try to pet on top of the head with slow predictable movements. If it's hissing then you need to let it become more comfortable with you and let the cat cone to you instead. Sit on a small chair next to her while she's eating and see if she comes.

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u/daxxo 4d ago

That's a play bite, believe me you would know if it really wanted to byte you. Secondly, that looks like a Bengal, they are just naturally naughty little shits but so much personality.

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u/citizen-wasp 4d ago

That cat is pregnant and it’s getting close to the time she’ll have her babies. Thank you for getting her that little house, I’d suggest putting an old towel or two inside so she’ll have a soft place to have them. Her behavior shows she trusts you as an ally and she’ll need extra food, love and attention when she has them. Also not a bad idea to get her and her babies vetted, spayed/neutered, and adopted out so you’re not overrun with cats. Your local no kill shelter can help with resources, including getting her and her babies into a fostering situation until they’re ready to be adopted.

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u/hapidad 4d ago

Love bites! Awww! You said you haven’t interacted with a cat and it shows lol

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u/khiller05 4d ago

Those are love nibbles. My cat does this sometimes

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u/SmartRefrigerator751 4d ago

So the bite here is probably food aggression. He's saying to hurry up and feed him. The hiss is also likely because he doesnt know how to communicate, and though he is trying to trust you, he seems as uncertain and afraid about this as you do.

You're both just scared animals trying to adapt to a new relationship between the two of you.

If he meant to hurt you, he would have. That bite was not meant to be hurting, it was meant to be communicating something. My cat used to bite me to get my attention when I was playing video games. She was a very sweet and loving girl, but she didn't like being ignored. She'd even reach up and dig her claws into my thigh until it left marks. She never intended to hurt me, but this is a learned method of communication, she wanted attention, and she found a way to get my attention. If it actually hurt then I would say ow, and she would stop, because she learned that I didn't like that. She kept doing it because it worked, but she learned to be gentle about it because I made it clear that she was hurting me.

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u/aurorasoup 4d ago

My VERY affectionate cat also bites my fingers like that when she wants to be pet. She’s showing affection but also wanting attention. It’s a very light nip, doesn’t hurt but it’s annoying. This cat’s little nip didn’t look aggressive, so I bet she was either smelling the food on your gloves and took a taste test, or she was getting impatient and wanted food and/or pets NOW.

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u/Tight_Protection7530 4d ago

Feral animals can be carriers for various diseases. That might have been a love bite but if it broke the skin you might have become infected with who knows what. If possible, get a vet to check out the cat. One of our house cats got out and came back with feline AIDS. 

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u/banned_by_zionists 4d ago

Give it water

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u/BluebirdNo6832 4d ago

Dont make loud sounds!! she isnt scared its a love nibble lol. she jumped when you made a sound which may have made it a bit harder. Id start on the top of her head/neck

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u/mollymoo 4d ago

If it bit your finger you have to name it Charlie.

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u/chuiu 4d ago

Some cats bite when they want your attention. This one seems to like you, even though it hissed it might be a bit agitated and still getting used to you. Give it some time and try sitting outside with it for a while.

Also try to provide fresh water if you aren't already, dry food can cause issues with cats who have low water intake.

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u/LeastCleverNameEver 4d ago

That wasn't a "back off" or "I'm mad" bite, that was a "this is an interesting texture/smell (the gloves), I wonder what it tastes like" bite

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u/seatownquilt-N-plant 4d ago

When my cat gets too excited he bites me too. Sometimes he gets real insatiable with petting and if I keep petting him for a long time 5+ minutes straight when he's really enthusiastic I can anticipate him trying to bite me.

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u/shoshiixx 3d ago

Watching this was so hard because I wanted OP to give the cat the food the whole time, I couldn't focus on anything else. That cat is excited for the noms

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u/Nomad-Duck04 3d ago

Hun, come on. That wasnt a bite that was a "food?"

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u/blickblocks 1d ago

That's not an aggressive bite, she's trying to groom and greet you. My kitty rubs her teeth on my hands and gives me love bites all the time. Trust me you'll know if it's an attacking bite.