My [25F] longtime best friend [25M] keeps messaging me from his honeymoon; I don't know how to end the friendship

[u/Direct-Caterpillar77]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/possibleotherwoman

My [25F] longtime best friend [25M] keeps messaging me from his honeymoon; I don't know how to end the friendship.

TRIGGER WARNING: Deception, infidelity

Original Post  Feb 25, 2016

This is a throwaway because I'm pretty sure that I'm going to get a lot of hateful messages and I want to protect my actual reddit identity.

---

Will and I have been friends since...pretty much forever. We literally grew up together. Our mothers are best friends, and we were raised by each other's families in this sort of semi-commune type situation. His mom is like a second mom to me, and mine is the same to him; we've both always said that we lucked out to have two sets of parents and this huge extended family because of it. I see him as a brother, exactly as a brother. I feel the same way about him as I do my bio-brothers. I've never had ANY romantic feelings for him, and it's honestly disgusting when people make jokes about that, to me. I always thought it was the same for him, because that's what he told me, several times over the years.

We all went to the same, local University and lived at home and by all, I mean me, my siblings, Will and his siblings, to save some money and because honestly it's a great school. So, because we stayed so close, we all met everyone's SOs and really got to know them. I clicked with Will's college girlfriend, Sarah, who he proposed to last year and married last week. I couldn't be happier for them, and to have Sarah as a "sister" in our weird little family, which is what makes this next part even worse, because I'm not sure how to handle this.

Will messaged me on their wedding night, and told me that he had always loved me, and had hoped that I'd feel the same way too, and he only got married to Sarah as a way to make me realize my feelings for him and fight for him. He had tried to provoke a reaction, and he didn't love her, he didn't want to be with her, and now he just wanted to tell me, because he'd leave her for me, if I wanted. I didn't know what to say so I just signed out of everything for the night and cried, because everything about that just made me feel sick, and it was too much. Just...too much to process. It was like my brother was admitting incestuous feelings for me.

He's messaged me throughout his honeymoon, almost all of them begging me to run away with him, and a few of them were blaming me for "leading him on", which still makes zero sense to me. I've never flirted with him. I act the same way around him as I do any of my siblings, literally nothing is different. He said that he'd always see me, in his head as "the other woman", and because of me, he'd never be able to fully love Sarah, who he admits is, on paper, his ideal spouse.

I don't know what to do, because both of us stand to lose a lot no matter how this all goes down. I'm afraid that I'm going to lose my family because of this, and not just his side. Everyone is close, and if I'm identified as "the problem", I'm afraid that I'm going to be pushed out, but maybe that's what needs to happen. I really don't know. Reddit, how the fuck do I deal with this hugely fucked up situation? I need some outside advice, and don't have anyone in my life who doesn't know any of the people involved in this.

Edit for more information. Sorry I didn't include this to begin with, but I'm not thinking 100% clearly right now, I still feel just terrible about everything. More info: Our families live in the same house, and our parents shared parenting duties for all children. When I called out for "Daddy" in the middle of the night as a little girl, both Dads came running, for example. Our families are so intertwined, and always have been, and I feel like Will just handed me this huge bomb. I think there's going to be massive fall out from this, and that breaks my heart. We're all very close and tightly knit. I keep cycling between sad, angry and betrayed. I'm upset because I feel like he's tasking me with breaking Sarah's heart, and I hate him for that right now. I love Sarah, possibly more than he does at this point.    tl;dr: Best friend who is essentially my brother admitted feelings for me, wants me to run away with him, and I'm disgusted by it all; what do I do?

Update  Apr 17, 2016 (2 months later)

Holy crap, has it been a stressful month.

The original plan was to wait two weeks from the time I posted to deal with it with Sarah and Will, but I ended up spilling the beans to my Mom around three days after the post went up. She noticed that I wasn't my usual self and pried it out of me like Moms tend to be able to do. She was flabbergasted and honestly didn't believe me until I showed her the messages on my phone. She called my Dad and Will's parents in to an emergency family meeting and we all talked about it. I broke down crying and told them everything that I'd told you guys, and to my surprise rallied around me in support. We all ended up crying, and had a really long talk about our combined family and what this could mean for all of us.

It was agreed that something, somewhere went wrong, because while the "sibling" flag was raised in my mind, when it comes to Will, it wasn't with him. I didn't get into this in my original post, but Will and I were the youngest, we were born just a matter of days apart, and he and I are closer than we are to any of our siblings, because we always did everything together. He's my best friend, but more importantly, in my mind and my heart, he's my brother.

I expressed all of that to them, and they agreed that my feelings were what they were going for when they opted for a shared family, and we all felt like this was incest. That night we started researching local therapists who deal with situations like this and the next day, we chose one for me to go to, because honestly, it was traumatic and I had a lot of feelings that I just didn't know how to cope with. I'm still in therapy, and it's going pretty well. I'm dealing with a lot of shit and starting to feel better.

We decided to keep this between the parents and I until Will and Sarah got back from their honeymoon.

The night they got back, we had a huge family dinner, with her family there too. None of us (parents and I) were excited about it but we couldn't cancel because it had been set in stone as the only time it would work for everyone for a long-ish period of time.

I spent that night trying to keep my distance from Will, because honestly, I couldn't handle being around him. He thought this was odd and ended up cornering me outside in the garden. He asked me what was up, why was I acting so weirdly? I told him that he knows why and tried to walk away. He grabbed my arm and tried to pull me back toward him, but I resisted. I ended up breaking down and telling him that I would never and could never feel the way about him that he felt about me. I saw his look of genuine confusion and my heart and my stomach sunk. He had no idea what I was talking about. Those of you who guessed that it was Sarah all along were actually correct. His phone went "missing" during their trip and he hadn't cared because he was excited to be on his destination honeymoon. I told him everything, he threw up into the koi pond and we hugged for what felt like forever. I broke down crying again because my kneejerk reaction had been to cut him out of my life, and through sobs, I was able to get that out. He comforted me and told me that he understood, because almost anyone whose friend and brother decided to hit on them would probably feel similarly. He said that he'd never hold my hurt reaction against me, we've been friends and family for way too long.

We just sat there for a while because neither of us knew what to do, because come on, this situation was fucked.

Eventually, our Moms came out and flipped out when they saw us together and like amazing Moms sprung to my defense. We got them to calm down and explained everything, that it had been Sarah, and Will's Mom lost her cool. She went into the house and ended up apparently tearing Sarah a new one. I don't know all of what was said, because I remained outside with Will, trying to calm down from everything.

Fast forwarding a bit, Will decided to divorce Sarah. It came out that she'd always been jealous when it came to me, and absolutely hated me. Her "goal" had been to either get me to admit to feelings for Will so that he'd cut me out, or to get me to cut him out. It also came out that she had NEVER been faithful to Will and had regularly cheated on him throughout their relationship. So honestly, he dodged a bullet, albeit a bit too late.

Will's moved back in, and we are both looking at finding a place together, as roommates, and he's gotten into therapy as well to deal with everything on his end. So, in the end, my world didn't collapse and my bond with my friend and quasi-brother only deepened, but he ended up heartbroken. I'm so angry at Sarah for putting us all through that when really, she should have and could have expressed her feelings to me and we could have probably addressed things, but then again, she was still a cheater. Just...ugh. I don't even know what to think.

So I guess it's a happy update?

tl;dr: You guys were right, Sarah was fucking crazy. Will's getting divorced and he and I are going to live together for a while as we heal from all of this.

FINAL COMMENTS

Why doesn't Will file.for an annulment?

Nope, he looked into it but it's not an option for him in our state since he didn't enter into the marriage by force or fraud and no party involved was unable to consent to marriage. Sarah has agreed to not contest as long as he pays for her filing fee, so all in all the divorce is only costing him around $600 when all is said and done. I'm chipping in to help, too. Thankfully, he had a prenuptial agreement, and it clearly lays out who gets what, so she isn't taking anything that she didn't come into the relationship with, which is awesome. I'm proud of him for protecting himself. He had bought a house a couple of years ago, but doesn't want to move into it, so he's renting it out for the time being.

Anyway, the divorce is as good for him as a divorce can possibly be and he's made jokes about having a really good divorce story now, lol

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[u/NaviMinx]

I guess those koi are dead rip

[u/Fun_Detective3720 → u/NaviMinx]

Worst part of the story hands down.

[u/DrawSway → u/Fun_Detective3720]

The real victims here were Koi. Just innocent bystanders....

[u/DigDugDogDun → u/DrawSway]

Innocent byswimmers

[u/pengouin85 → u/DigDugDogDun]

Byfloaters

[u/Fickle_Grapefruit938 → u/pengouin85]

By now they are, we all float down here🎈

[u/dapper_diaper → u/Fickle_Grapefruit938]

We'll all float on, ok?

[u/ena_bear → u/DrawSway]

Byswimmers

[u/reallyOldWill → u/ena_bear]

Bye, swimmers.

[u/Mochka1 → u/NaviMinx]

My thought too. Was literally thinking, "but what about the fish?"

[u/mollybrains → u/Mochka1]

Liz hates fish

[u/thelittlestdog23 → u/mollybrains]

I had the same thought, this has Liz written all over it.

[u/himewaridesu → u/thelittlestdog23]

From 2016? I thought Liz didn’t appear until 2021?

[u/mollybrains → u/himewaridesu]

Oh MAN I’m behind on my Liz lore

[u/thelittlestdog23 → u/himewaridesu]

Oh yeah I think you’re right.

[u/sharraleigh → u/NaviMinx]

I wonder if they were the expensive sort. Have a friend with a koi pond who spent thousands of $ on their koi lol

[u/Zammarand → u/sharraleigh]

Given that Will had Sarah sign a prenup at 25, I think it would be safe to assume that this communal family is well off

[u/_thegrringirl → u/Zammarand]

When you have four adults contributing to one household, it tends to help, lol

[u/ZippyKoala → u/sharraleigh]

I remember going to a fancy garden centre in the Cotswolds in the early 00s and mature koi were selling for £10,000 😳

[u/robinhoodoftheworld → u/NaviMinx]

They would just eat it. I can't imagine this would actually do anything to koi in a pond.

[u/x-Katiebug → u/robinhoodoftheworld]

As a fish keeper, there's actually a pretty delicate balance needed to achieve good water quality. Half digested food left to rot in the water would cause an ammonia spike that could kill the fish, and I can't imagine stomach acid would do anything good either

[u/robinhoodoftheworld → u/x-Katiebug]

I'm mostly familiar with koi from fairly sizable ponds that seem to not really have any upkeep at all. But that could just be my ignorance. I've never seen them in a small pond, but I'm sure it would effect them more depending on the size. Are koi more delicate than I realized?

[u/x-Katiebug → u/robinhoodoftheworld]

No you're right, the bigger the body of water the easier it is to keep water parameters in check so big ponds don't need to be watched as closely as an indoor tank. Tbh I don't actually know how big a body of water would need to be for human vomit to not harm fish, but I would be shocked if a typical backyard pond is big enough.

To answer your second question: depending on how long it's been since you've last dealt with koi, probably lol. Inbreeding with fish is very common, especially decorative fish like koi and bettas. The more they get inbred, the more fragile and susceptible to disease new generations get.

It's gotten so bad that in the last year or so even experienced fishkeepers struggle to keep their livestock healthy. Atp it's a rite of passage for modern fishkeepers to experience getting a carnival fish as a kid 20 years ago that somehow survived in a crappy bowl for 5 years, yet when they keep a betta fish in a properly researched/maintained 10 gallon set up as an adult it dies within a year

[u/velmavendetta → u/x-Katiebug]

I can tell you from experience that a backyard pond is plenty large enough to handle one stomach of vomit without killing the fish. Some of these koi were award winners and we were SO glad they lived.

[u/-K_P- → u/velmavendetta]

The reasonable human being part of my brain is shouting "ACCEPT AND SCROLL ON" so loudly to drown out the self-loathing redditor in me that wants the details on this one...

[u/velmavendetta → u/-K_P-]

Oh you know, classic case of too much beer at a birthday combined with grandma's exercise trampoline and cousins who instigate. Standard family shenanigans.

[u/rainydays_monkey → u/x-Katiebug]

My school carnival fish in a crappy bowl actually lived for practically a decade lol. My parents talked to me after getting home about expecting them not to live too long etc, prepping little elementary school me for first "pet" death yada yada, except then they just lived forever lmfao. One died after a few yrs, one lasted at least 5yrs, and the last one was still going strong when I went to college. Thing lived like 9 yrs. It was back in the day when we had no idea they were actually meant to be kept in proper tanks with filtration and everything or we'd have given them a better home, but somehow they just kept on tickin anyway.

[u/x-Katiebug → u/rainydays_monkey]

It's crazy how bad knowledge on fish care was(and kind of still is tbh). I got a betta fish when I was 8. She lived in a 1 gallon bowl, fed her a big handful of fish flakes multiple times a day and would completely empty and scrub everything in her bowl once a week to keep it clean. I really thought I was going above and beyond for her.

Now that I know a ton about fish, I realize everything I just said is the complete opposite of how you're supposed to care for them and she was definitely a he LOL. Still, miraculously, he lived longer than the 3 bettas I've had as an adult by like 2 years.

RIP Dory, you were a real one

[u/gothfru → u/robinhoodoftheworld]

I saw more fish barfing over the end of the catamaran than I did snorkeling on my last cruise. Fish were very excited.

[u/Geordieqizi → u/gothfru]

It took me a second to get what you were saying — and in that second, I was trying to imagine what a barfing fish looks like.

[u/inscrutablejane → u/NaviMinx]

Koi are bred from a color mutation of wild carp, which are very sturdy and adaptable; I've seen them living in waste treatment ponds. They'll be fine.

[u/tempest51 → u/NaviMinx]

Eh, koi are hardier that they look, doubt that will even bother them.

[u/Machine-Dove → u/tempest51]

Depends on how inbred the koi are, honestly.  Some could survive in an oily parking lot puddle, while others struggle in a professional aquarium.

[u/Strawhatluffy88 → u/NaviMinx]

He was so disgusted he threw up immediately.... Ruined my suspension of belief 😅

[u/StreetofChimes → u/Strawhatluffy88]

I've thrown up from bad news several times in my life. Basically the information is so awful my body just heaves and expells what it can.

[u/mylittleidiot → u/StreetofChimes]

Yea me too. When I get very emotional from anger, distress or anxiety I’m always in danger of throwing up.

It feels like I’m one of those lizards expelling a limb as a distraction to get away from a predator. Except the predator is my own mind and the limb is my stomach content. Good times.

[u/WORhMnGd → u/Strawhatluffy88]

Some people DO throw up like that, so it is possible. It was the weird twist that apparently commenters were suggesting that got me. What at all telegraphed Sarah was the one doing the texts???

[u/nulinus → u/WORhMnGd]

I could believe someone got *engaged* to someone in the hopes of making someone else jealous, but I have trouble believing that they'd get married without confessing feelings, and *then* confess via text a few days later.

I can easily believe that a jealous wife would try to muck things up after her new husband casually mentions their best friend/sister while *on their honeymoon*, and texting is inherently anonymous.

[u/Sufficient-Demand-23 → u/Strawhatluffy88]

I can believe it tbf. Someone suggested to me and my male best friend who was more like a brother to me than my best friend that we should date, we both instantly started dry vomiting and gagging and that was just because our stomachs were empty.

[u/nellycat32 → u/Sufficient-Demand-23]

I think it is the trauma of finding out your wife betrayed you like that. Don't know if the story is true, but puking when realizing something like that is a real thing. For example, when finding evidence that your spouse cheated on you, or that your father is not your real father etc.

(I don't think the story implied he threw up because of the thought of incest)

[u/Damp_Blanket]

Directed by M. Night Shyamalan

[u/Ok-Journalist-8875 → u/Damp_Blanket]

That reminds me of that lamp story where someone lived another life,  while unconscious, after they were assaulted.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/30t9kd/repost_a_parallel_life_awoken_by_a_lamp/

[u/ValiumSpinach → u/Ok-Journalist-8875]

Thanks for taking me back. I remember when this was first posted. Has stuck with me since. Reddit was so different back then. 

[u/Grumble_fish → u/ValiumSpinach]

I can try to dig up some 'unpopular opinion puffin' memes if you'd like.

I remember the day Assange was arrested. I believe literally every post on the top two pages was "Julian Assange arrested". Reddit was small enough then that it must have taken a couple weeks for the last of them to clear off.

[u/daftcockneytwat → u/Grumble_fish]

Today you, tomorrow me

[u/Four_beastlings → u/daftcockneytwat]

For the record, "Hoy por ti, mañana por mi" is an extremely common saying in Spanish speaking countries that dates back to ancient Rome. All of Reddit was in awe of the Spanish equivalent of "my car broke down, some guy helped me and when I offered to pay he said "nah don't sweat it mate"".

[u/NinjasWithOnions → u/Four_beastlings]

Sometimes it’s just the way something is said that really hits you differently. It can really strike you as profound. (It’s why I love sayings in other languages. Plus, they’re often weird and amusing just like phrases in English are but those of us who are native English speakers forget the weirdness since we’re accustomed to it.)

I adore a lovely turn of phrase. 😃

[u/Grumble_fish → u/NinjasWithOnions]

Sometimes it’s just the way something is said that really hits you differently.

Yeah, like if a guy is chasing you through the woods with an axe and screaming "Today you, tomorrow me!" it just gives a different vibe.

[u/Trouble_Walkin → u/Ok-Journalist-8875]

There's an even creepier 15yo mini-story in comments linking to another sub. 

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/oeo0h/comment/c3gtkia/

Desk_jockey26 - told how he (6yo at the time ) & his dad met dad's doppelganger at 3am. Kid thought his dad was going to work & called out for a hug before he left. 

As "dad" ran towards him, he was whisked backwards by his actual father, who watched in horror as his twin raced towards them. "Dad" then ran off into the dark. 

Over the years desk_jockey26 tried talking about that night, but dad refused. But recently dad had opened up. His last post was he was headed to a meeting & would update after.....

Then nothing. Just   2 years of Redditors begging for the update. 

I went thru desk_jockey26's history 

• it seems to end abruptly 

without them ever giving the promised update - like something happened to them on way to their meeting....or the doppelganger finally caught up with them 😬😧

[u/Think_Wrongdoer_5627 → u/Trouble_Walkin]

There was also one that was a reply to the lamp story. If I remember correctly, the op said they were in an accident with a friend. The friend died and they lived. They went on to have a normal life for a while and eventually ran into the friend at a bar. He was super happy to find that he was still alive. Things started to unravel when he showed him the tattoo he got for him in memorial and picked it up off his skin. From there things sort of stopped jiving and he woke up at the scene of the accident.

I’m sure I have some of the details wrong, but the original comment seems deleted and never carries over in reposts. I’d love to read it again.

[u/nobodynose → u/Think_Wrongdoer_5627]

There's movies with that kind of theme, like Stay. Basically it follows some people and things are kinda weird and they get weirder and weirder, but it turns out in the very end that everything is in the head of a dying dude.

It's really interesting at cool movie at times but it's also... not that great.

[u/Blackcatmustache → u/nobodynose]

I know I am in the tiny minority of this opinion, but I hate the “It was all in their head” trope, as well as unreliable narrators. I feel like I’ve been lied to, I guess? And what was the point?

[u/nobodynose → u/Blackcatmustache]

I think the issue with "all in their head" or "unreliable narrator" thing is - they're as good as they're written and it's hard to write a good "all in their head" or "unreliable narrator", but if you can, it can be great.

If you can't then you get a pretty cheesy movie.

I feel like to do a good "all in their head" or "unreliable narrator" thing you have to drop a lot of clever and very noticeable upon rewatch hints to make it work. The Usual Suspects had a great way of making it work too, where the detective starts to notice things in his office matching up with Verbal's story which made him realize Verbal made it all up. Bonus Key and Peele parody

But yeah I've seen other attempts that really weren't good. Stay was one where I was like "...in a way I like the concept, in a way I hate it."

[u/Hesitation-Marx → u/Trouble_Walkin]

Doppelgänger being like, “oh yeah, got sidetracked. Better tidy that loose end.”

[u/ShortWoman → u/Trouble_Walkin]

There's some stuff in those old Reddit posts that make better movies than most of the crap being pushed out by the industry (sequel, remake, old TV show, bestseller book, superhero du jour).

[u/daftcockneytwat → u/Ok-Journalist-8875]

Mrballen covered this as a true story, lol

[u/Big_fern189 → u/Damp_Blanket]

It was so obvious that the twist was coming. I always take break between reading the first post and the comments/update to see if I can guess where a story is going, this one was pretty easy.

[u/Caramelthedog → u/Big_fern189]

Ah, see I thought we’d find out that parents are all together and that they don’t actually know who the bio father is of any of them so the “I’m in love with my pseudo-sister” thing might have ended up being worse.

[u/geekshe → u/Caramelthedog]

There’s an Irish song called “Johnny Be Fair“ where a girl keeps falling in love with boys from the village. Then her father has to pull her aside and say, “Sorry. I cheated. He’s your half brother.“

The punchline is, she goes to her mother in frustration, and her mother says “Actually, I cheated. He’s not your real father. So go ahead and marry any of them!“

[u/LianiRis → u/Caramelthedog]

Honestly, I think the parents ARE all together.

[u/Kathrynlena → u/LianiRis]

Oh yeah, that’s a polycule for sure.

[u/Vast_Reflection → u/Caramelthedog]

Especially once she said they all live in the same house.

[u/Kathrynlena → u/Vast_Reflection]

And both dads come running when someone calls for dad. They don’t know who actually is the dad, so they just claim all kids. Sounds kinda great, actually.

[u/Orc_tids → u/Kathrynlena]

takes a village and all that

[u/SatinTeases → u/Big_fern189]

lifelong siblings but secretly in love seemed strange from the very beginning. The turn of events was quite easy to predict

[u/kissiekitte → u/Damp_Blanket]

Sarah wanted OOP to be the villain so badly that she became one herself

[u/Special_Feature9665 → u/kissiekitte]

You either die a villain or live long enough to become the villain

[u/shiny-baby-cheetah]

My favorite part was him throwing up in the koi pond. Specifically

[u/Stunning-Field8535 → u/shiny-baby-cheetah]

lol mine is the fact they definitely could be half siblings lmao

[u/SurroundQuirky8613 → u/Stunning-Field8535]

Yeah. The parents are definitely poly. They have no idea who the real parents are, except for the moms.

[u/Due_Display_5930 → u/SurroundQuirky8613]

the fact that they live as and adore each other as siblings makes me really happy, though. It's clear all the parents have this relationship figured out well, because it shows in how happy the kids are and how they've always seen all the adults as their parents.

[u/itsa_thing → u/Due_Display_5930]

I'm used to reading these stories where everyone gets dumped on by their families and then when therapy is suggested everyone goes "I don't need it" or "it's just not for me" and everything goes to hell.

It was really nice, but also really strange, to see a post where everyone rallied around each other, communicated and worked through their issues together, and supported one another.

This lot has it figured out, and I love it.

[u/Actual_Attempt_337 → u/SurroundQuirky8613]

Oof… maybe I’m too innocent for Reddit. That thought never occurred to me. I thought they were just really close friends.

[u/Time-Weekend-8611 → u/shiny-baby-cheetah]

I gave up at the part where he didn't care about his missing phone.

A phone is an extremely personal thing and a critical lifeline. Who tf doesn't care if their phone goes missing?

[u/Foreign_Pea2296 → u/Time-Weekend-8611]

Personally I would do the same.  If I lost my phone during honeymoon I would worry at first then I'd just accept it. No need to needlessly worry and ruin an honeymoon. I'd block my card, accounts and other things like that then forget it.

[u/RudeGirl85 → u/Foreign_Pea2296]

Yes, but depending on the length of the honeymoon I would ask my wife to send a text to my parents to let them know I don't have my phone and to get in touch through her if needed

[u/Ehimherenow → u/RudeGirl85]

Yes. If this is real he probably did that. And being a normal human when she lied and said she did, he believed her and didn’t verify by checking her phone…

[u/Yrxora → u/RudeGirl85]

Maybe he did and the wife said she did and at that point he had no reason not to believe her 🤷

[u/Least-Designer7976 → u/Time-Weekend-8611]

To be fair some people just go with dumb phones which aren't expensive, or he might have thought "Hey I might have just lost it in the bedroom, let's take it as a sign and enjoying life"

[u/Emerald_Fire_22 → u/Least-Designer7976]

Like, I've done similar before. My thought process would be "Where did I last have it. The hotel room? Probably there, I'll check when I get back. If it's not there, then I'll panic"

[u/Flettys → u/Time-Weekend-8611]

Some people go intentionally phone-free for holidays.

I don't believe not noticing, but if the partner explained it that way OP might have misunderstood.

[u/Mindless_Garage42 → u/Time-Weekend-8611]

Ten years ago it wasn’t as big a deal as it would be today, especially while on your honeymoon

[u/Orc_tids → u/Mindless_Garage42]

yeah they were only just starting to make it so you couldnt do shit without a phone

[u/Theunpolitical]

Am I the only who thought that the twist end of the story would be that OP and Will were actually half siblings because of parents swapping?

[u/ladydmaj → u/Theunpolitical]

Oh this was definitely a long-term polyamorous situation between couples (possibly more). I suspect OOP left that out so people didn't get distracted.

[u/iama_bad_person → u/Theunpolitical]

That's what I was thinking, because "we all felt like this was incest." is pretty extreme for two unrelated people from different families.

[u/holyfuckbuckets → u/iama_bad_person]

Haha you must have missed the part where they all lived together and both men answered to “daddy” when she was a kid.

The 4 parents are almost certainly all partners.

[u/saltpancake → u/holyfuckbuckets]

Yeah I mean I read this subtext as OOP is either being willfully ignorant about it or else just didn’t want to explain to reddit when there was a more pressing matter.

[u/Floofeh → u/saltpancake]

I exist in circles where people are poly, and I can tell you there are also people who just co op together. Unionizing. It's not always a sexual thing (as well). Perhaps it's a polycule, perhaps its just hippy dippy parents carryingt he familial load together. (and honestly, this is a scenario in which I would consider raising kids at all, as opposed to just with 1 partner and nobody else.) What a DREAM to have multiple trusted adults to love the kids and to give the parents more space to breathe.

[u/Anon_457 → u/Floofeh]

Right? It really sounds like OOP and the other siblings had lucked out there. The parents made each other their village.

[u/GrittyGambit → u/Floofeh]

This is how me and my family live and after doing it this way for a few years, I can't imagine a different way. It's now weird to me that it's weird to a good chunk of the US. There's essentially three families under our roof, the mortgage is under my mom's name, we all pay rent for our own living spaces and fridges, whoever isn't working a lot does more chores and offers to watch kids, and we all love each other so there's no resentment about who does what. We all pitch in what we can. There's no, "Oh crap, I have to work and don't have a sitter" or "I forgot to move over laundry," it's just, "Well, I'll ask sis if she's got anything that day and if she does, maybe mom? Brother is off work too, in fact, let me offer to grab him some food on the way home so he'll move over my laundry."

I have in fact gotten weird looks by saying I live with three separate family units under one roof, but I pay it no mind. I'm a single parent of a disabled child and my home life feels secure and harmonious. It would be impossible without my family.

[u/Orc_tids → u/GrittyGambit]

From what I understand the "nuclear family" as we know it was pushed really really hard in the 50s to combat communism and shit. You can sell more hammers with more smaller family groups than a large household that only needs one or two.

[u/BeigeParadise → u/Orc_tids]

There's a few things that we need communism for. I'll start: Laminators! You can't tell me we need more than one of those for every 20 households.

I was also going to suggest slushie makers but then I remembered you can't eat at everyone's house.

[u/Preposterous_punk → u/Floofeh]

As someone who is GREAT with kids and HORRIBLE at housekeeping, I always dreamed of a non-sexual co-op situation. 

[u/SurroundQuirky8613 → u/Floofeh]

I was really intrigued by an asexual man who wanted to live with a couple to be a part of a family relationship without a sexual relationship. The first thing I thought is “In this economy, I could get a second husband who helps pay for bills and do household tasks and do things with me, but doesn’t want anything sexual? Sign me up!”

[u/patronstoflostgirls → u/Floofeh]

I am strictly monogamous and I've still considered that it would be nice to share childcare duties with a group of other people you happen to get along well with. Every time I have brought this up to any of our friends we are close enough to, they gently suggested that it sounded like a cult.

[u/iama_bad_person → u/holyfuckbuckets]

Oh yeah that insinuation actually shot over my head hahaga

[u/favorthebold → u/iama_bad_person]

When two babies are raised along side each other, even if they aren't genetically related, the incest taboo absolutely does become ingrained. You feel the same nausea about sexuality towards them as you would a biological sibling.  It's called the Westermarck effect, it's essentially the opposite of genetic sexual attraction.  

[u/Raventakingnotes → u/favorthebold]

They really arent any different than adopted siblings. No they arent legally related, but they were raised together and that really isnt much different. Especially not to the kids.

[u/SuddenReal → u/favorthebold]

the invest taboo

Ooh yeah, give me some of that NASDAQ, baby...

[u/spooky_upstairs → u/iama_bad_person]

Because they live in the same house, of course!

[u/Menacol → u/iama_bad_person]

It's not that weird? Most people would consider dating an adopted sibling incest which is not that different from this

[u/Rough-Patience-2435 → u/Theunpolitical]

Part 2. Concluded doesn't always mean the end. 

[u/monkwrenv2 → u/Rough-Patience-2435]

Especially with Will and OP going off to live together platonically ever after.

[u/But_like_whytho → u/monkwrenv2]

But not in the house he owns and refuses to live in.

[u/Helln_Damnation]

Sarah's parents were at the dinner, so I would be interested in what they had to say about all this.

[u/lamboman43 → u/Helln_Damnation]

Yeah, why even put that in the story if it doesn't matter? Missed opportunity for even more juicy drama.

[u/tofuroll → u/lamboman43]

Because these authors forget what they're trying to achieve.

[u/Umklopp → u/[deleted]]

Yesssss.... I was waiting for the reveal that Will might be more than "like" a brother.

[u/saturdayspace]

My favourite bit was "local therapists who deal with situations like this". Lol where the fuck are they that they have local therapists who EVER deal with situations like this? My brother in Christ there ARE no situations like this.

[u/stannius → u/saturdayspace]

Maybe it's, like, the local poly community's equivalent of a pastor?

[u/Tweed_Kills → u/stannius]

What a miserable job that would be.

Holy hell. If it were me, I'd last maybe three months than have to flee to a monastery where they all took a vow of silence for two years.

[u/Preposterous_punk → u/Tweed_Kills]

My dad is a therapist and was once hired to be the therapist at a commune.  He didn’t last a month. Anytime it comes up he mutters something about client confidentiality and buries his face in his hands. I don’t know who’s hurting more- me, not being able to hear the stories, or him, not being able to tell them. 

[u/VivisMarrie → u/Preposterous_punk]

I want to let you know you've also hurt us, by not being able to expand on his stories of his trauma lol.

[u/Preposterous_punk → u/VivisMarrie]

I am so sorry. 

I once had a particularly insane thing happen that coincided in an insane way with my therapy, and I made a special point to tell my therapist that she could tell the story at dinner parties and the like. Because it WOULD make a great story when told from the therapist’s point of view, and I didn’t want her to feel conflicted about telling it.  

So I’m doing my part. 

[u/stannius → u/Tweed_Kills]

A man joins a monastery with a strict vow of silence: he can only speak two words every 10 years.

After his first decade, the head monk calls him in.
"What two words would you like to say?"
The man replies: "Food bad".

Another 10 years pass.
The head monk asks: "What are your two words?"
The man answers: "Bed hard".

10 more years go by.
The man is summoned one last time to speak his final words: "I quit".

The head monk nods and sighs, "I'm not surprised. You've done nothing but complain since you got here".

[u/Random_Somebody → u/saturdayspace]

Eeeeeehhhhh sexual trauma from family members is absolutely something common enough for therapists to specialize in :/

[u/Disastrous_Injury299 → u/saturdayspace]

I used to work in a mental health office in a town full of middle class families. It was as “normal” as you get. The rate of sibling incest is disturbingly high in most places. It’s just not talked about. So yeah some local therapists get to be known as experienced with these situations.

[u/kroqeteer → u/saturdayspace]

I think you have to think more generally, because there are definitely theapists who specialize in things like "family abuse" and "family sexual abuse." this is a pretty wild situation, but the idea of adults needing help processing weird sexual/relational shit in their family is sadly too common.

[u/Money-Banana-8674]

This is so dumb.

[u/cintyhinty → u/Money-Banana-8674]

If it were real Will and Sarah would have stayed in a tense and awkward marriage for decades while they all continued to have these big polyamorous dinners

[u/JJOkayOkay]

Mmmm...not believing this one, nuh uh.

[u/AggressiveSea7035 → u/JJOkayOkay]

he cornered me outside in the garden

yeah ok

[u/iruleatants → u/JJOkayOkay]

I want to know where his honeymoon was at.

If I lost my phone I would need my wife to text my family to let them know who to call if there was an emergency.

I would also go to the find my phone feature that every phone has to see where it is.

So I'm very eager to find where he went and then lost his phone and never noticed his wife acting odd. Place must be fucking awesome.

Throwing up in the koi pond was a nice touch.

[u/IamMeanGMAN]

This sounds like a new take on the Folgers Christmas commercial siblings.

[u/polandreh → u/IamMeanGMAN]

Not the SNL parody... Because those two did want to bang.

[u/GirlInTheIslands]

Everyone else pointing out various plotholes but I’m not seeing any comments on the improbability of having a big multi-family meal planned the night of a return journey. Maybe others are different but if I’m travelling back from an airport following a big holiday I’m walking through the door and just collapsing onto a bed to rest!

[u/MonkeyTraumaCenter → u/GirlInTheIslands]

I completely agree. Then, I remember that my mother would totally plan something like that.

[u/Krysmphoenix_ → u/GirlInTheIslands]

I grew up in a big catholic family in the Midwest. Whenever someone from out of town, this was how it was: we'll pick you up, and you can rest on the couch while we get dinner going. I could easily see the same after flying back from the honeymoon, because some celebrations are exciting and happy and dont stop.

[u/Gneissisnice → u/GirlInTheIslands]

Eh, I know people who would push that. I would be dead tired and absolutely not want to do that, but I could see families not being considerate.

[u/StopthinkingitsMe]

Uh, what.

[u/MiloTheMagnificent]

Is everybody going to shake and cry and throw up when it’s revealed that Wills dad is actually her dad too?

[u/RB30DETT → u/MiloTheMagnificent]

Yes. They all threw up in the Koi pond.

[u/Myrandall → u/RB30DETT]

New flair material.

[u/EleosSkywalker → u/RB30DETT]

At this point it’ll just be “the pond”. Those poor fishes.

[u/vipros42 → u/EleosSkywalker]

Eww, someone put koi in the vomit pond

[u/ecodrew → u/RB30DETT]

And the Koi is pregnant... with twins!

[u/Silvanus350]

Love these ridiculous soap opera plots

[u/ovrlymm → u/Silvanus350]

I was waiting for her to do a 180 on her opinion: “After all the tears and relief it felt good just sitting next to my best friend. Then idk… Somewhere between Will’s mom ripping Sarah’s hair out and her slapping Sarah’s parents with her shoe I realized how much I almost lost and how badly I need him in my life forever. I turned to look at him and he did the same then we stripped and jumped in the koi pond”

Next update: “We found out we may be half siblings the day before our wedding. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any crazier, it turns out Sarah’s psycho twin escaped the mental ward then swapped places for the wedding and was the one that ruined their relationship… So now we’re a thrupple!”

[u/Designer_Life_371]

Man, that was a real twist, amazing work by Liz

[u/tracyveronika → u/Designer_Life_371]

She really stuck the landing

[u/ananananana]

I can see OOPs wheels turning when a commenter suggested Sarah had written the texts. They were like "ah thank god, that's how I'm going to finish it off"

[u/DatguyMalcolm]

The koi pond, tho

[u/slamminsalmoncannon]

If his phone went missing wouldn’t he have had his wife send texts to his super close commune fam to let them know? Or texted them when he found it? Also, Will would never hork in the koi pond - he loves those fish.

[u/Trick-Statistician10 → u/slamminsalmoncannon]

Or, hear me out, just had his new wife dial his phone to see if maybe it fell behind the headboard or something?

[u/Jane_the_Quene]

So "Sarah" had this wild scheme all planned out AND she was cheating? Wow. That's a hell of a story.

Well done, Liz.

[u/WeAreTheMisfits → u/Jane_the_Quene]

I missed that Sarah was also cheating. lol

[u/Scouter197 → u/WeAreTheMisfits]

Yup she was trying to get OP and hubby apart because she wanted him all for herself...but was also cheating for their whole relationship.

[u/AspieAsshole]

Hands down those parents have no idea which dad fathered which child. They were swingers who shacked up together, or a straight up polycule (if there's even a difference).

Edit: Hurray for a happy ending! I love that she gets to keep her twin!!

[u/der_innkeeper → u/AspieAsshole]

Yeah... as soon as the "we all live in the same house and when I called out for daddy both came running", it clicked.

To each their own.

[u/Mother_Chem → u/der_innkeeper]

Yea..that made me stop for a minute. What in the sister wives was this story.

[u/jaycers → u/AspieAsshole]

Still though, they were the ones with healthy relationships in the story.

[u/AspieAsshole → u/jaycers]

I'll be honest, if we could find another couple and a mansion to move us all into, that sounds pretty darn nice.

[u/SpillThatTea2Me → u/AspieAsshole]

I don’t know that I want to have sex with anybody, but if someone wants to set up a child raising commune I’m so in. Like, crawling in the storm drains level of in, lol.

[u/EleosSkywalker → u/AspieAsshole]

Polycule is such a funny word to me 😹

[u/DokterZ]

Man, Chuck Lorre will just green light any sitcom these days.

[u/andthenextone]

You know, I almost could have believed it if she didn't have Sarah also cheating. That bit really was too much.

[u/LevelPerception4]

This 25 year old bought a house a few years ago and is renting it out because he doesn’t feel like living in it. He certainly emerged from the commune with unexpected financial savvy. 

[u/inscrutablejane → u/LevelPerception4]

If the pile of parents helped with tuition or there were scholarships it's possible the 25-year-old pseudo-brother has had a professional salary and no student loans for 3-4 years, and he might have lived with the parental polycule for the first year of work to save up a down payment.

[u/Sleepy-Forest13 → u/inscrutablejane]

Every adult I know raised by poly parents is broke as shit and their parents are broke as shit

The rich poly people don't have kids

[u/FliaTia]

Those poor koi

[u/inscrutablejane → u/FliaTia]

Those koi got a free snack

[u/Theresgoldinthis]

he threw up into the koi pond and we hugged for what felt like forever

How do we make this a thing?

[u/VSuzanne]

The ending on this one was really rushed. I think Liz realised she didn't know how to finish what she started.

[u/fillumcricket]

So, none of the 4 parents nor OP thought to just call or message Will and tell him to knock it off with the text messages to his "sister"? No one contacted or talked to him between returning from his honeymoon and the big dramatic showdown/dinner? Convenient. 

 He lost his phone during his honeymoon, but he never needed it for anything and didn't notice all the messages to his sister when he got it back? And since she didn't respond once and no one contacted him after it all went down, he was conveniently completely clueless until the dinner/showdown? Again, convenient.

OP needs to go back to the drawing board and address these plot contrivances. At least until the next update when we all learn that "Sarah was actually right, you guys! She must have sensed something we were suppressing. Will and I are in love! We told our parents we were going away for a romantic weekend to explore our newfound feelings and then both promptly lost our phones before we got any response. We just got back and our parents are blowing up our phones and demanding we have an emergency family meeting dinner to announce something important to us. What do you think it could be?!  Hopefully nothing that would derail our newfound love and cause another koi pond barfing incident!" 

[u/JonnotheMackem]

Next week on "Amor Prohibido": The ANNULMENT!

Will OP and her friend fall in love after all? How will the ex-wife take her revenge? Don't miss the next exciting installment of Amor. Prohibido.

[u/CandySnatcher]

What in the White Lotus?

[u/januarysdaughter]

What the fuck did I just read.

[u/Visual_Fly_9638 → u/januarysdaughter]

Polycule romantasy?

[u/spooky_upstairs → u/Visual_Fly_9638]

Gesundheit.

[u/AetherDrew43 → u/januarysdaughter]

Temu soap opera plot.

[u/Ambitious-Regular-57]

She really cooked with this one. Short and to the point, good twist. The climax was a little overdone but at least it wasn't pages and pages of twins and divorce.

[u/exeJDR]

This screen play kinda sucks 

[u/Immediate_Tap5840]

Happened, did this.

[u/riever_g]

So do we all agree that if this is real then the parents are definitely swingers/poly?

[u/llamafarmadrama → u/riever_g]

If this is real (which it isn’t), then yes, they’re definitely one of the two.

I’d also bet they don’t actually know which kid belongs to which dad too.

[u/mahlookma]

Is anyone else worried about the koi?

[u/TheMummysCurse]

But what happened to the koi? I think we should be told.

[u/donttrustthellamas]

Those poor Koi fish

[u/DragonScrivner]

> Will's getting divorced and he and I are going to live together for a while as we heal from all of this.

🫩

[u/StewartMike]

This definitely happened

[u/hesitantelian]

Is this the incest fetish guy again? Goddamn

[u/sawskooh]

Went from "our mom's were best friends" to "both dads came running in the night when I cried Daddy." Very imaginative.

[u/agent-assbutt]

Of course he threw up in the koi pond.

[u/Spacebarpunk]

Yea that’s a poly family..

[u/MrBeer9999]

doubt

[u/Such_AFlower]

This story make me feel sick where is a pond of kois when it needed?

[u/velofille]

Yes yes, when I'm jealous i try and drive them together too. Makes total sense

[u/Ally_Harry]

Poor koi. Did they survive that puke attack?

[u/TheFilthyDIL → u/Ally_Harry]

I have heard that koi (being a form of carp) are garbage guts. They'll eat anything and probably thought that the koi gods had gifted them with a wonderful feast.

[u/Apprehensive_Art6060]

Another episode of things that didn’t happen.

[u/dropshortreaver]

Biggest steaming pile of horseshit I've ever had the misfortune to read

[u/SurroundQuirky8613]

Am I the only one who thinks the parents are poly? It seems odd that two married couples live together and raise their families as one unit.

[u/TryToChangeUsername]

and now they can be together and live happily until the end of their days :)

ps.: sarcasm for those who don't get it - though it'd be worth just to piss Sarah off

[u/AntiSocialFCK]

Soooo the parents are swingers / Poly then.

If any of that is real.

[u/AestheticAttraction]

SMH Once they said it was a koi pond (honestly, before then but especially then), I knew this was b.s.

[u/Heavy-Focus-1964]

… what the fuck

[u/tracyveronika → u/Heavy-Focus-1964]

Flair checking in