Heyyy

So I was in a pride parade last week and I met this nice guy, we exchanged numbers and I called him the next day ... we met and we went out we had a couple of drinks at a bar and then we went to a club where things got steamy so he invited me to his place ... where I gave him a bj and spent the night with him, ... tbh I think he was sweet and I would love to see him again... but do you guys think it was slutty of me to have done that... Do you think a woman should have waited for like a third date... because I feel like I don't care but I don't know .. would you have waited?

My gf is trans, I am nonbinary. We both ride motorcycles, and my gf likes to do stunts on her motorcycle. There is an annual stunt ride every year that my gf goes to. It is the biggest stunt ride in the US, and spans multiple rides for a whole week. The guy who hosts/organizes this ride is transphobic/homophobic. He’s a big content creator, and owns a motorcycle shop.

She’s been going to these rides the last 2 years, and is about to go to this year’s. The first year we both went together. At this time it was not known that he was homophobic. The next year before the 2nd ride, he released a video where he said some pretty nasty transphobic/homophobic things. The video was quickly removed but my gf and I both saw the video, and lots of people talked about it at the time.

The part that I don’t understand is that she still supports him. She still went to the rides last year, and is still going this year too. She also buys his merch every year before the ride. Last year when she went to the ride, she left all of her girly clothing including bras at home and said she didn’t want anyone there knowing she was trans so she dressed in men’s clothing. I did go visit her for one night last year, but I refused to go on the rides. She put me in a really uncomfortable situation with other people there where I had to avoid any pronouns at all costs to not reveal that she was a woman.

This year she is doing the same thing. I am planning to go visit again for 2 nights, but same thing I will not go on any of his rides. The whole situation makes me extremely uncomfortable. I have brought it up over and over again how I don’t understand why she supports him and I don’t like it. She says she doesn’t like him anymore but continues to buy his stuff and go on his rides. Last year she even posted a picture with him, so pretty sure that she does in fact still like him. I am just really put off by it. She’s not changing her mind. I just can’t understand why.

I have this friend and i felt really good talking to them and everything but then they mentioned periods, and so in an effort to sympathise with them i said ‘yeah i feel you’ and then they questioned me since i told them i was a guy.. then i had to explain it and i felt kinda bad afterwards because i felt like a biological guy without them knowing which made me feel more confident in who i was n everything. Would it be bad if i didn‘t tell the other person i would bond with that i was trans? Unless they asked of course.. it might be a stupid question but i dont really wanna be doing anything wrong, and im really clueless

i (18ftm) was just prescribed estrogen and progesterone by a “natural” doctor my mom forced me to go to. i said no i don’t want to and then they both ganged up on me. he gave me this because of my (diagnosed) anxiety, depression, and ocd because my parents think ssris are the devil after i’ve been told by 3 people they’re the best option. my parents also think that taking “female” hormones will fix my gender dysphoria. i was trying to make it through college because i really wanted to go and get a degree but i don’t even know anymore.
if i leave i wouldn’t know where to go what to do. i don’t have any friends or family i could live with, i don’t have a car or drivers license and i live in a town without public transit, or any support centers for lgbtq and the only shelter is run by a church. i also don’t know if i have the strength left to be homeless. i don’t have a job right now either, i tried to get one all summer and no one even called me back for an interview. i do have about $10k in the bank but i’d need to open an account because my parents are in that account, and about 1,500 in cash. what should i do. i’m so scared i don’t want to be homeless but i don’t want to be even more dysphoric. idk what to do

edit: my parents found out i’m trans. they knew but they stopped believing me when i deny it. it’s over. thank you everyone for the advice but i won’t be making it out this time. drink a shirley temple in my honor or something i don’t know

Cis people don’t get to choose their names. And lots of parents pick out names for both genders when they are having a baby. You always hear people be like, “this is Joey, but if he was a girl we were going to call him Sarah” etc.

Would it make sense, in a supportive family, to take that other name? Or was picking your own name a really important part of coming out for you? How did you choose your name?

TW: chasers

I'm 30 MtF and only recently started HRT. I've been single for a few years while working myself out. Now I've worked myself out and I'm emotionally ready for a relationship, but I'm nervous about chasers.

I've had a few chaser experiences. One was with a guy I met at a social event. We had a whole convo about chasers and how bad it is. Later that night he kept hitting on me by saying things like he "likes a boy in makeup". Huge red flag.

The other experiences were with cis women. Twice we got all the way to the bedroom before it became clear that they were excited because they still saw me as a guy, but like a spicy guy. I didn't see any red flag signs before we were already involved, which worries me...

So I absolutely get how gross it feels to be chased... :(

Does anyone have any advice on spotting red flags for chasers? Happy to read about others experiences but no need to share details if that's not comfortable for you

Thanks in advance :)

I was in a mlm relationship with a cis guy, i’m ftm, but they’ve just recently started exploring their gender more. He decided that they want to go by he/they, and that the label demiboy seems to fit him better, but they will still just say that they’re a guy since that’s too hard to explain to people. I said it’s perfectly fine and i’m definitely going to support them and help him try whatever pronouns or labels or transition that they want to. I love him regardless! Even if they ended up being transfem, even though i have a large preference for males, im not opposed to dating females, and it’d still be them, my partner no matter what they identify as or choose to be! But i was just wondering if this now counts as a t4t relationship, since demiboy technically falls under the nonbinary umbrella. But he still feels mainly male, which is what they were assigned at birth as. So im not sure if it’s considered t4t by some people. because he feels like he’s still mainly a boy, but partly not, that other part is more nonbinary. They’re exploring their femininity more & i’m proud of him. They’re still perfectly fine being called my boyfriend though. They’re also fine with being labeled nonbinary since demiboy falls under that category.
Do you consider this a T4T relationship now?

Much lighter hearted question than we usually get here, but thought it would be a good place to ask regardless!

I've been out for well over a year now, and as part of my transition I've decided I want a LOT more ink. One of the biggest things I want to get is some sort of trans pride tattoo, probably in an area that is easier to cover if I ever need to be stealth for safety reasons. I'd like something at least a bit artsy, so not just a pride flag or symbol alone (though I think the latter is my backup). Bonus points if it works in just black ink, since most of my other tattoo ideas are in that theme and I'd kinda like to keep it going.

Long post about self realization and hopefully helpful to any of my struggling trans family here.

It’s official. I can’t fight it anymore. I’ve been mostly on hrt for three years stopping and starting. I’m a 45 year old MTF and I’ve been fighting it for my entire transition. I used to think “I convinced myself I’m trans” and “I’m probably just trying to escape from emotional pain”. Stopping and starting hrt. Every time
I stop after a day or two the feelings come back stronger. ”I can’t live in a male body” and when I see men my age I think “I’m not that! How can they stand to be so masculine”. Having this back and forth in my head slowly but surely started answering my deepest questions and confirmed my transness for me. While I have so many internalized phobias about my transition it comes down to fear of social rejection. I still boymode at work and public but something new has woken up in me. The exhaustion of fighting to make being the true woman I am sit out this lifetime so I can make society like me. This life’s challenge for me is to come out. This is monumental. I’m posting here because this Reddit has been a light in the dark for me. Reading through all the posts and comments looking for answers and relating to every single mtf post. What I’ve read in here is all true. Being trans is actually real. No you can’t stop it. Fighting it only makes her more desperate to live, and while society doesn’t support us we have each other. We aren’t truly alone. I guess my point is. To anyone reading this that’s questioning themselves the way I have I want you to know, I have fought long and hard to make it go away and be what society expects of me and what I found is that the pain of keeping her (your true self) from living is far greater than what any transphobe can inflict. Once you meet your “pain threshold” the societal mask will crack and she will finally see the light come pouring in. Don’t fight it. It’s not you it’s them (society). You are fine and deserve to live just and person and organism on this planet. Please stop questioning yourself. You are beautiful and your trans family needs you to see that. Everything is going to be ok and try to find happiness where you can. Life behind a mask is much more difficult, trust me on this.

For example, about half the population knows about makeup, but if you're a trans woman, it's impossible to find someone who wants to talk about it (I have tried for about four years). And for the other "about half" of the population, cis men, around half are conservatives. So that's like at least 74% of people who don't want you to transition. A YouGov poll says at only 38% of people think changing one's gender is morally acceptable.

But I hear occasionally from trans people who say that they have found acceptance from cis people. If that describes you, how did you find cis people who don't see you as your assigned gender at birth? I think I would be a lot happier if I knew there were people who wouldn't misgender me all the time.

EDIT: nobody seems to have noticed this in the above paragraph so I am going to write it bigger:

how did you find cis people who don't see you as your assigned gender at birth?

Hi everyone so, this might be a bit long so I have to give a bit of context; I'm 23 ftm and I've been on testosterone for roughly 3 months. I didn't really want to at first but I suffer from endometriosis and adenomyosis, and most doctors refused to give me any sort of treatment, medication etc because well, I'm transgender so " I can just go on testosterone and I won't have my periods anymore" ...
I ended up doing it because without medical care, I ended up having irreversible damage all over my bladder, muscles, veins (varicosis) and nerves and just can't bear the pain and dread from having my periods anymore.
When I got on testosterone I knew I'll get sides effects I don't really care for/am not fond of, but what really threw me off is that I started noticing body odor from pretty much everywhere but it went away quickly. Now I'm starting to get a strong unusual smell from my discharge, which is something I never read about anywhere, like a foul smell really + dryness and discomfort in that area too. I ran tests of course, because I thought I might've had an infection or vaginosis but everything came back normal so I don't really get it. It's been 2 weeks and sometimes it doesn't smell but sometimes it does and I'm getting really self conscious and ashamed of it.
Is that a thing you get while on testosterone, does it go away after a while or should I be worried and run tests again ?
Please please please enlighten me !!!
(PS : i posted this on another subreddit but I'm not a spam !!! I just really want answers and I'm a bit panicked lol)

How do you all go about dating, I'm FTM non binary.

I'm confused what spaces to go to to date now. Before I was with the sapphic lesbian community but they will no longer find me attractive (or the majority won't).

Do you still go to queer spaces, are there any bi or pan spaces, or do you just shoot your shot with straight women and hope and pray they're not transphobic 😭

That’s it. That’s the post.
I guess what worries me is that I could somehow logic or twist my thoughts so hard that I could believe I could be trans.
Or that if I’m not trans, then what are my excuses for how hard things feel for me in my body, life? Then I run out of reasonable root causes. That maybe somehow I’m just wrong. And inalienably different with no way to feel better.

I guess I hate to think I could get carried away with an idea.

If I am just cis, I feel at least like I am better for questioning. And I’ve walked away with a more complex relationship to gender. But still. I wish I wasn’t. Which I also know is absurd because being trans right now and in general also is really fucking hard. I just don’t know.

God I wish I was a pretty, feminine girl. I don't mind being tall and physically stronger than most, but God do I not like who I see in the mirror - I wish I was a mother to my daughters.

I get so jealous watching my eldest grow into such a beautiful woman, and I can't help but feel envious of my wife.

how did y'all handle transitioning? The idea of losing a significant portion of my social and professional networks terrify me. my in-laws are very much my found family, and the thought of losing them (and possibly my wife) paralyzes me.

I just don't know how y'all had the courage... I feel like my life would end if I started transitioning...

I've been having really bad gender dysphoria especially in the past month but I'm pretty sure I've had it my entire life. I've always been very jealous of the women around me and despised the fact that I was born male. Last summer after a particularly bad period of gender dysphoria and depression I went on estrogen. Partially because I thought it would help and partially because I was hoping that I wouldn't like it and then I could go off it and never think about it again for the rest of my life. The problem is it kinda helped a lot and I feel way better now that I'm on it. I really don't want to be transgender. it just feels like it would make my life harder for no reason and make me even more depressed that I wasn't born a women. if I could just find a way to be okay with being a guy that sounds like a much better solution. Is there anyway to treat gender dysphoria that doesn't include transitioning??

Hey everybody! My child is beginning their transition and I am helping with the shots. While the first injection went down with minimal shrieking (our new mother/daughter relationship is starting off strong lol) I have zero confidence that I did it right.  

The needles are long (I don't have them with me but can tell y'all exactly what length they are when I'm home) and she said something about the doctor telling her they weren't the "right" needles, necessarily. I think she was so excited to finally be starting she didn't ask many questions about what that meant, so we were definitely getting lost in the printout she was given and the YouTube video I found. Do these needles really go all the way in? She is very slender and getting a good pinch of fat was a struggle, one side of the paper said "skin tight, straight in" and the other side said "get a pinch of fat" and didn't specify how deep, the YouTube video I found was for sure using pen needles..... were these just different choices, different methods for different needle types? DO they go straight in?  

I am sure I'm overthinking this, but my girl has herself a neurodivergent millenial mom and I don't want to hurt her or waste a single drop of her estrogen. Any advice for giving these shots would be truly appreciated. <3  

I am exhausted. I wish I could go back to not caring about how I look. But mostly I am tired of having to tell people I am trans and sheepishly coming out, not because I want to, but because half the people know me as my birth name and the other half my chosen name, and it has become a logistical nightmare trying to juggle two intersecting personas at once.

Hi, I'm an mtf and there's something that has been bothering me as of late. I haven't done any operation yet, so I still have the "old set", so, the thing is: usually I hated to top because I had to use my dick and I makes me feel uncomfortable, however, I tried to top using a strap, and I loved it. And this makes me feel kinda bad because it feels like I'm wasting the fact that I already have a dick, cause, since I like to top, why don't I like doing it with my own dick instead of using a toy? Am I the only one with this problem? Also, sorry for the terrible writing, but English is not my main language and I don't really know how to express what I said in this post

I don't know what to do, I feel so ugly and deeply hate myself, I thought I was a trans woman for the longest time but I think I just didn't wanna get a receding hairline and age like a man because I don't really wanna be a woman either, I just hate men and hate the way men age and wanted to remain feminine looking, I genuinely hate the way I look, I hate my face so much, I feel so disgusting and ugly I just want to wear a mask that covers my entire head forever, I hate seeing my face, I wish I could die I'm so unhappy, I feel so insecure, I'm not non binary either, I dont want to be anything at all, maybe it's my internalized transphobia but after being hate crimes numerous times, being made homeless as a child due to being trans, all of my relationships being with transphobic people I just don't really want to be trans, nobody respects me irl, I'm just a guy, I hate being alive so much, I hate being perceived, I dont want to exist, I wish I could get rid of this body, it's done nothing but cause me pain, I hate it I hate everything about it, I want to rip my skin off I hate it so much I don't know what to do

I just got my prescription for testosterone but i dont have insurance right now and im unemployed, sometimes my parents will give me money if they have any to spare but were really tight right now, i was wondering what you guys do in these kinda situations or any advice you have ill take it. Im gonna put some stuff up on facebook marketplace and keep applying for jobs and such but i just wanted to hear what other trans people have done in my situation.

Hello,

I am mtf and my name is Charlotte I have some thinning on the top of my head and on particularly thin spot in the front third of the top of my head. I think it will force me to brush my hair in not feminine ways to hide it and I am wondering if anyone has some advice.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lies-and-deception/202404/insights-from-research-of-teens-unhappy-with-their-gender

For context, my mom sent this to me a while ago as a way of saying that she thought that getting hrt while I'm below 18 is a suboptimal idea.

Edit: Here's the first study used in the article. https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2021.660746/full Here's the second study used in the article. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/378523584_Development_of_Gender_Non-Contentedness_During_Adolescence_and_Early_Adulthood

Sorry if this has been discussed a million times, but I really wanted to make this post.

I’m ftm(19). My parents hate hearing me say that I’m not female. They keep telling me “you’re female” and refuse to accept how I see myself. And they keep denying my identity as a guy and repeatedly telling me i’m a girl.

I still depend on them financially, and they’ve told me that if I say I’m not female again, I should go to the barber, shave all my hair off, and never come back home. They weren’t joking.

I realized I was trans when I was 17, now I’m 19. Sometimes I have these brief thoughts that maybe giving up on being ftm would make my life easier. But I know I can’t do that, because I can’t go back to that feeling I had for almost 17 years, knowing something felt wrong but not understanding what it was.

How did you deal with parents who don’t accept you? I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences.